Slightly Condoned
Disclaimer: Don't own anything…
Rating: R
Pairing: Eric/OC, Speed/Calleigh
Summary: Calleigh pays a visit to the law offices of Dayton & Kaytlin, getting more than she had bargained for.
Spoiler: Tinder Box, Body Count
A/N: This chapter is nothing if not informant of the direction I would like to take Mia's character in, as well as Calleigh and Tim's relationship. I hope you guys like this transition and I promise more E/E in the next installment, because this one is purely Mia/Calleigh bonding.
Dedication: To Katie and Jacqueline, without our late night talks and your advice I wouldn't be able to write half of this stuff. A thanks is in grave order!
***
Part 24- My Best Friend
Just as she made her way out of Eric's apartment building, Calleigh realized that she had no wheels.
At first she kicked herself mentally for forgetting to borrow Elisabeth's car, seeing as though, they'd left Delko's parked in her garage.
Then Calleigh smiled, and started trotting down the street, the walk to City Hall would about 25 minutes, and 25 back, meaning an hour for the road, and she could breathe some fresh air, and finally escape the confines of the romanticized apartment.
It wasn't that she wasn't happy for her best friend and his sudden thirst for sentiment and companionship, it just kind of well, sucked that she had had the pleasure of experiencing that same feeling that her friends craved for, and she let it go.
And for what?
Her mind was boggled at the idea of separating from Tim now, she didn't think she could even remotely stay friends with him; it was just hurt too damn much.
See him gallivant with all sorts of different women on his arm while she knew she wouldn't be able to open up herself the same way again. Not to Josh not to anyone.
It still struck her as ambiguously odd that she, the social butterfly, and the one people thought would have no trouble with men, could not be able to strive in another relationship, and Tim, the brooding loner, as people stereotyped him, would not think twice about jumping into another romance.
Or perhaps she was just underestimating him; maybe he wasn't like that, maybe…
" And maybe I'm out of my fucking mind." Calleigh murmured to herself and crossed the street and continued to walk along the sidewalk.
It seemed pretty depressing for her, to be in the state of mind that haunted her right now. Demons that wouldn't disappear, the ones he'd helped banish away, were resurfacing again.
Janet was dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
And he made it all better. Better. Better. Better.
And now he wasn't in the picture, she didn't know what the date tonight had in store for them but it certainly wouldn't be a kiss and make up sort of deal.
It was time to face the music. Face the cold hard truth that perhaps they just weren't meant to be.
He could've been her savior at one point, some one who'd helped her sleep easier at night, but other than that, and some incredible sex it could've been just a fling.
It *had* to be a fling, because she had nothing to offer Tim anymore, and Calleigh wasn't sure that even if she did, he wouldn't accept it either.
She broke his heart…and now he was breaking hers.
Slowly.
***
After a semi-relaxed evening flying solo at a friend's Grand Opening Bar, Mia returned to work in the morning refreshed and ready to tackle the upcoming trial of Hank Kerner.
Today shortly after 7am, she had received a call from a court orderly that Judge Hemming had postponed today's trial due to a family emergency, and though it wasn't uncommon for such a respected Judge to spar for a day off, Mia couldn't be more grateful.
She still needed to get a few things together for tomorrow's witness, who also happened to be Janet's mother. It would be a difficult and long day tomorrow in court so Mia was happy to have a breather before this.
Another thing entered her mind, as she stirred in some cream into her coffee, and walked behind her desk.
She still hadn't received a yes or no from Calleigh, on whether she could testify or not, and as much as the DA cared for the ballistics expert and shared in her pain, Mia knew she'd need that answer soon.
Hoping not to have to set an ultimatum Mia sat down and reached for the stereo remote, when a soft knock on the front door came.
A little confused, and curious of who her company would be, the lawyer straightened her appearance in case this would be a professional visit and chimed neatly, " Come in."
In a chipper voice, and one she didn't use often, if ever.
That's why when Calleigh stepped into the office, mutely; she gave her friend a suspicious glance.
" Hello." She smiled with reluctance, and shut the door behind herself, leaning against it, she watched Mia visibly relax again, and smirked.
" Oh now did you expect someone else?" Calleigh ran her fingers through her hair slightly and crossed the homey expanse of the office toward one of the better chairs in the room.
" No, actually I wasn't expecting anyone. But this is a welcomed surprise nonetheless." Mia assured her, although Calleigh knew she didn't have to.
With Mia, it was always a pleasant surprise.
" I'm sure it is." Calleigh said quietly, and then looked hungrily at the cup of murky liquid reclining next to a stack of legal documents Calleigh probably knew went in synonymy with her friend's pain the ass.
One of the aspects of being a criminal investigator that attracted Calleigh to the initial job was minimal paperwork and more physical contact with what later went into the description of evidence that put criminals away.
Took all the fun out of it for child molesters, and sent druggies to rehab.
Being a lawyer meant the right side of the law except a whole lot of autographing to do, and a lot of annoying people to meet.
Calleigh preferred to be behind the scenes, and keep the satisfaction of knowing she'd done something right to herself, because that's what really matter, and although everyone knew that no one did this for media or press coverage, it still felt good to know that as a CSI Calleigh could justify herself.
" Want some coffee?" Mia asked, already knowing the answer.
" Do you have to ask?" Calleigh smirked, and pushed herself of the leather and walked to the coffee maker.
Halfway through her assembly of the drink, Mia cleared her throat and a rush of emotion swamp from her head down to her toes, when she remembered her friend's current project.
The name Hank Kerner rang like a church bell in her mind, on a Sunday morning.
This reminded Calleigh of why she no longer visited the sanctuary of Christ, as she finished topping off her bland coffee and turned to Mia.
" I'm gonna take a wild guess here, and say that judging by the way you cleared your throat you need an answer on whether I'll be on the good side of that witnessing stand huh?"
Although her assumption was correct, and concealed a tint of dry humor, Calleigh was nowhere near a chipper mood. She hadn't been that morning at all, considering the hell that the last few days brought on and now this.
Well she simply didn't think she could handle something as significant as testifying in court against someone who had haunted after her like wild geese, and still be able to maintain some sensibility of peace in her life.
No way in hell.
Not even the workaholic and coffee addict, fueled only by the simple adrenaline and sleep deprived affects of her job and caffeine, could hack it out.
At least Calleigh considered so, as she sipped some of the soothing liquid and resumed her seating across from Mia.
" Calleigh, you know it's not like that." The lawyer forewarned, and at the same time her tone did little to convince either sides of the desk that the topic of discussion wasn't as unpleasant.
" Mia." Calleigh leaned, and placed her coffee twin to her friend's, " I know *exactly* how it is." Then she sat back in her chair and continued.
" You may be a lawyer Mia, but I'm a CSI, and a damn good one." Calleigh added, smiling with a tint of nostalgia present, as she remembered saying those words in a different time and place.
One that included Janet.
Different circumstances, and she learned from it, yet something held her from moving on.
Tim helped her.
Now that wasn't an option anymore.
" I bet you get off on that comment sweetheart." Mia teased and Calleigh rolled her eyes, momentarily after coming to terms with the cryptic taunt.
" Mia, I just don't think I could handle it right now. My mind's in overload as it is. Working that case with Elisabeth and coping with everything else." Calleigh messaged her temples as she gave the ambiguous excuse.
" And by everything else you mean Tim Speedle don't you?" Mia asked, trying not to sound as a matter-of-fact about such a tangible topic, and at the same time, trying to evaporate the slight resentment from her voice.
Calleigh gave Mia one single look that conveyed all the answers the brunette was searching for, with a lot more baggage then she expected.
This suddenly troubled the lawyer as she fixed Calleigh with a suspicious glare. The blonde wasn't fazed, instead the fear inside her diminished radically at the prospect that Mia could perhaps offer her some advice.
Even if she didn't think even the District Attorney of Miami-Dade could help her now.
And not like Calleigh really wanted to get 'helped' even if it was her closest friend offering it to her.
" Oh honey, you need to let it go, I look at you, and I see it's destroying you, I cant help but think wrongly of him, and I know you disapprove of that but your so distraught…"
Mia's voice trailed off and Calleigh took a long pull from her mug, trying desperately to ignore the sympathetic look she was on the receiving end of.
Calleigh knew that Mia never meant harm, good lord, the older woman had always done right by her, but the problem here wasn't Mia's advise, it was her point of view.
Part of the reason that Calleigh assumed that Mia was as good in her career field as she was, was because the woman was simply relentless in her ways.
Stubborn as a mule, the DA never left her opinion unspoken, her values untested, and her friends uncared for, and that probably was the final straw because when Calleigh looked up at Mia again, the horrified look in the other woman's eyes told Calleigh her own blues were flooded with tears.
She didn't feel them as they rolled proudly and bitterly down her cheeks, heating the trail of skin like a lit fuse, propelling toward a bomb that would surely explode in mere seconds if Calleigh didn't stop the ache.
Although she wasn't sure she could.
Not without Tim's help.
And that was not an option anymore, and suddenly a fear rushed over the unusually helpless ballistics expert.
She'd have to do it alone, and although it never scared her to stand on her own two feet before, ever since she received the taste of what it felt like to have someone to depend on she didn't want to let it go.
It was like a drug.
And yet somehow Calleigh knew in all her legitimacy, Mia would never be able to understand that.
" Mia, I know you care but, but, you don't understand, you don't know how, how it feels to have this uncharted feeling, this taste of solace and then have it swept from underneath you like it was all a good dream. Fantasy.
I mean, I hate to say it but your not one to have luck in relationships, I mean look at Horatio. I know you loved him at some point, and he probably loved you as well, enough to marry you at least. But, but look where it got you, you're this amazing person, someone I care for deeply, and you never show that wonderful side of you anymore, because your so consumed in making Horatio miserable for divorcing you.
I'm not going to ridicule you, because you've got about ten years of experience under your belt, but I, I care about Tim, and I'm just not ready to let go, so please don't tell me to do so."
Calleigh took a breath to regroup and tried to continue, as she clumsily wiped the damp tears off her cheeks, but Mia placed a stalling hand on her shoulder.
Pondering on the question silently, the lawyer seemed to get stumped, and just as Calleigh was about to continue, Mia exhaled gravely, having taken the time to walk around the desk to comfort her friend she squeezed her shoulder and replied as evenly as possible.
" I wont tell you to let go ever again, if you answer this for me." she began, and Calleigh seemed to look at her with surprise in her blue eyes, currently saturated with brackish liquid as Mia reached up to glide her surprisingly warm thumb over the tear escaping.
Calleigh smiled at the motherly gesture, and nodded, " Okay but only one question." Trying to lighten the mood, the southern belle achieved her goal mildly, if at all.
A satire look traced over Mia's complexion for a second and then when Calleigh blinked it vanished away, replaced by the same concern and pensiveness it substituted before.
It might as well have been wishful thinking, and Calleigh commented that ironically she was doing a lot of that lately.
" Calleigh…" Mia started, attracting the attention of the brooding blonde.
" If your so reluctant to let go of something so, as you say, wonderful, then how come it's tearing you apart?"
And that did it.
Violent sobs ransacked Calleigh's body as she hunched over the desk, and effortlessly slipped off her boots, curling her feet in an uncomfortable but mandatory position underneath herself, enveloping herself in a bare hug.
" Oh honey, come here sweetie." Mia sighed with guilt as she watched the usually strong woman crumble before her, somehow wishing she could prevent the occurrence and yet knowing it was necessary, and even part of her doing both invigorated her, and infuriated her.
This person had gone through hell when Janet died, and now this. Calleigh did not under any circumstances deserve to be boggled with such emotion and sorrow, and Mia suddenly wished she could get her hands on Tim Speedle.
" I swear two minutes in a room alone with that bastard." She murmured under her breath but it was evident by the disappointed look she received from Calleigh, that Mia was overly loud in her confession.
" Don't talk like that, and more importantly as for your previous question I don't fucking know why, there's just something, and I don't think you could understand like I said, I wont ridicule you but you mustn't ridicule me." Calleigh said self-righteously, and Mia knelt down in front of her.
Taking the tear soaked hands, that had been the support of Calleigh's hidden face, Mia looked into her friend's eyes, afraid to see the emptiness inside them.
" Cal, I think you're in love." She said simply and the reaction she got was one of great surprise.
" Well I knew that." Calleigh exclaimed with a paradox chuckle, and Mia was glad that she could at least place a small smile on her friend's face.
" Does he know?"
" I don't know." Calleigh shrugged.
" Well, I think you'd better tell him."
" Why?" Calleigh sat up, " what good will it do Mia, tell me? I mean is it supposed to enhance sexual activity, you know there's nothing wrong in that department, in fact if your so inclined to ask, I orgasmed today, so did he, we should all be peachy keen well we ain't." Calleigh shot up like a lightening bolt from her chair.
And continued her rant as she paced around the room.
" I, I cant take this anymore, he called today, very politely implied that we don't act as normal couple anymore, and you know why? Because we were never a couple to begin with. We were there for each other sure, but I think it was always physical content that brought us closer, not emotional."
Mia stood rooted against the desk, watching Calleigh stride back and forth incessantly, and not being able to help herself as she spoke up.
" Did you not know that sex changes everything?"
Calleigh stopped and looked suspiciously at Mia, " I thought that was just a line people told each other to soothe their hormones, excuses made not to fuck their best friends." Calleigh commented doubtfully.
Her own voice betraying how she really felt.
After a moment of silence, Mia simply supplied, " Well you fucked yours."
" That I did." Calleigh slumped back into her chair, wishing the coffee didn't taste as bitter now, after pouring out her feelings.
Mia smiled empathetically at her friend, as she messaged her temples.
" Here." She said, walking around the table and opening a side drawer.
From it she extracted a bottle of Excedrin and handed it to Calleigh.
" *My* best friend." Mia added and watched Calleigh reluctantly accept it, and expel two tablets, snapping the lid back and propelling them in her mouth,
" I hope you have a strictly platonic relationship."
" Shut up."
" Gladly."
TBC…