Nosgoth Gets F***ed Up
Chapter 5: The Strangest Party Ever
And so, Vorador and Umah start dancing on the Dance floor. Umah then starts dancing real sexy like and Vorador stops in his tracks; the perverted vampire starts drooling... suddenly Nupraptor interrupts, running from dancing with Ariel and grabs hold of Umah and commences to boogie with her instead.
Ariel now very pissed off at Nupraptor; she walks over gives him a big slap on the face & says, "You better be glad I left my salmon in my other purse!!"
...."man whore!!!!!!!"
Umah looked at Ariel, stuck her tongue out and called her a "sore loser". Ariel's ears turned bright red and her eyes started to glaze over with pent anger. "Well, I may have forgotten my salmon but I still have this... " And from "hammerspace" Ariel produced a salami which she promptly used to beat herself to death.
Umah looked at Ariel's dead body still holding the salami, muttered "talk about misdirected violence" and shrugged. She turned back to her dancing partner not knowing that the specter of Ariel was rising/drifting/materializing behind her...
In the meantime, Vorador had 'made friends' with another group of women and was currently in the process of inviting them home. Umah sees an opportunity to sneak into Vorador's home and she quickly disguised herself as a sexy, young, innocent woman (I know, I know, it took some clever doing but the b**** somehow made it).
She inserted herself into the midst of the group and they all headed after Vorador out the back door... where there happened to be a giant beaver waiting for them. (Not THAT kind of beaver, you perv- a wood-eating, bark- chewing beaver. The rodents.) It sniffed Vorador's head, then leaned down and sneezed all over him!!!
(at that moment he was rather happy he had no hair left cause the thought of cleaning it without using water was terrible indeed).
One of the girls giggled and handed him a handkerchief which he used and than turned to the beaver with his best "mafia" glare and said, "Return to the netherlands of the Hellfire's Domain, foul beast! Return to Dark Hell!" And he whipped out his trusty Remington SR8 and blew its brains out.
"... So," he said, beaming and turning to his crowd of girls, "Wanna... uh... see my bedroom?" One of the blonde chicks spoke up and said, giggling, "Um, no! Hehehe!" A brunette nudged her in the stomach and whispered, "Yes, dummy!"
"Oh... yeah!" Vorador suddenly remembered that he hasn't built his swamp mansion yet, so early at this timeline, so he quickly changed plans and started heading towards Janos' mountain castle.
If he is lucky there will be nobody home and he can claim all of that splendor as his own... and impress the girls...
if Janos IS home, oh well, the maker could use a good PARTY from time to time.
After walking for some time he decided it would be quicker to just teleport everyone there so he make a head count and found *oh happy thought* even more girls than he suspected at first (Umah sneaked into the group while he wasn't watching, remember?).
He told them he had a far better way to travel and then told them to hold onto him very tight (it wasn't necessary for the spell but they didn't know that! The perv.) and got ready to teleport when a large mackerel fell from the sky and crushed Vorador flat as a pancake.
Vorador snaps right back and yells, "What is it about the freaking animals!"Hhe picked up the fish and in the fish's mouth was stuck a note, all slimy and fish-smelling.
Vorador took out the note, unrolled it and read that the note was addressed to him personally, even to dating the timeline and era, it said "You suck. Ha ha ha. Love from Moebius, xxx ooo".
Vorador reread the note and his face turned a dark green of fury! Was it not enough that he killed all his relatives and friends in the future? Was it not enough that he ordered his head cut off? Doesn't he know how annoying that is? It's so hard getting your head back on!!!!
Was it not enough that he ordered all the family cows slain so viciously???
Does he always have to barge in just when the party is starting?????
The man is insufferable!
Vorador decided than and there that this party will just have to wait!
He has a new quest!!!!
THE QUEST FOR VORADORS REVENGE!
Moebius must be taught the hard and painful lesson!
Good parties are so hard to come by, he will have to be taught some respect!
Vorador turned to his group of lovely girls (with Umah hiding in it somewhere) and apologized truthfully and profoundly for having to go finish an unattended business first... but he promise very solemnly that when he comes back the party WILL go on!
And so Vorador set off on his quest for revenge, packing with him his trusty Remington SR8, an axe, a moose and his inflatable doll, for.... er.... 'company'.
Chapter 5: The Strangest Party Ever
And so, Vorador and Umah start dancing on the Dance floor. Umah then starts dancing real sexy like and Vorador stops in his tracks; the perverted vampire starts drooling... suddenly Nupraptor interrupts, running from dancing with Ariel and grabs hold of Umah and commences to boogie with her instead.
Ariel now very pissed off at Nupraptor; she walks over gives him a big slap on the face & says, "You better be glad I left my salmon in my other purse!!"
...."man whore!!!!!!!"
Umah looked at Ariel, stuck her tongue out and called her a "sore loser". Ariel's ears turned bright red and her eyes started to glaze over with pent anger. "Well, I may have forgotten my salmon but I still have this... " And from "hammerspace" Ariel produced a salami which she promptly used to beat herself to death.
Umah looked at Ariel's dead body still holding the salami, muttered "talk about misdirected violence" and shrugged. She turned back to her dancing partner not knowing that the specter of Ariel was rising/drifting/materializing behind her...
In the meantime, Vorador had 'made friends' with another group of women and was currently in the process of inviting them home. Umah sees an opportunity to sneak into Vorador's home and she quickly disguised herself as a sexy, young, innocent woman (I know, I know, it took some clever doing but the b**** somehow made it).
She inserted herself into the midst of the group and they all headed after Vorador out the back door... where there happened to be a giant beaver waiting for them. (Not THAT kind of beaver, you perv- a wood-eating, bark- chewing beaver. The rodents.) It sniffed Vorador's head, then leaned down and sneezed all over him!!!
(at that moment he was rather happy he had no hair left cause the thought of cleaning it without using water was terrible indeed).
One of the girls giggled and handed him a handkerchief which he used and than turned to the beaver with his best "mafia" glare and said, "Return to the netherlands of the Hellfire's Domain, foul beast! Return to Dark Hell!" And he whipped out his trusty Remington SR8 and blew its brains out.
"... So," he said, beaming and turning to his crowd of girls, "Wanna... uh... see my bedroom?" One of the blonde chicks spoke up and said, giggling, "Um, no! Hehehe!" A brunette nudged her in the stomach and whispered, "Yes, dummy!"
"Oh... yeah!" Vorador suddenly remembered that he hasn't built his swamp mansion yet, so early at this timeline, so he quickly changed plans and started heading towards Janos' mountain castle.
If he is lucky there will be nobody home and he can claim all of that splendor as his own... and impress the girls...
if Janos IS home, oh well, the maker could use a good PARTY from time to time.
After walking for some time he decided it would be quicker to just teleport everyone there so he make a head count and found *oh happy thought* even more girls than he suspected at first (Umah sneaked into the group while he wasn't watching, remember?).
He told them he had a far better way to travel and then told them to hold onto him very tight (it wasn't necessary for the spell but they didn't know that! The perv.) and got ready to teleport when a large mackerel fell from the sky and crushed Vorador flat as a pancake.
Vorador snaps right back and yells, "What is it about the freaking animals!"Hhe picked up the fish and in the fish's mouth was stuck a note, all slimy and fish-smelling.
Vorador took out the note, unrolled it and read that the note was addressed to him personally, even to dating the timeline and era, it said "You suck. Ha ha ha. Love from Moebius, xxx ooo".
Vorador reread the note and his face turned a dark green of fury! Was it not enough that he killed all his relatives and friends in the future? Was it not enough that he ordered his head cut off? Doesn't he know how annoying that is? It's so hard getting your head back on!!!!
Was it not enough that he ordered all the family cows slain so viciously???
Does he always have to barge in just when the party is starting?????
The man is insufferable!
Vorador decided than and there that this party will just have to wait!
He has a new quest!!!!
THE QUEST FOR VORADORS REVENGE!
Moebius must be taught the hard and painful lesson!
Good parties are so hard to come by, he will have to be taught some respect!
Vorador turned to his group of lovely girls (with Umah hiding in it somewhere) and apologized truthfully and profoundly for having to go finish an unattended business first... but he promise very solemnly that when he comes back the party WILL go on!
And so Vorador set off on his quest for revenge, packing with him his trusty Remington SR8, an axe, a moose and his inflatable doll, for.... er.... 'company'.