**Now that the Americans have seen Shout, maybe I'll get some more reviews!
Lol but really, to everyone who HAS reviewed and has said positive things,
thank you so much! I am so grateful! I hope you enjoy this chapter,
although it's kind of eh..**
Paige finally lifted her head from the floor, about 40 minutes later. She was so. tired. The pregnancy test was sitting on the floor in front of her. Sleepily she reached for it. There was a minus sign. *What does that mean again?* Paige thought slowly. For some reason, she was just so very tired. She rubbed her eyes and reached for the box. * A plus sign indicates pregnancy and a minus sign indicates the opposite* Paige read from the side of the box. So she wasn't pregnant. Her lips lifted in a small grin, but she knew that the absence of being pregnant would make her have to finally deal with her rape. *Maybe. Maybe I should call Hazel. and Terri. and they can come over. and we can. talk.* Paige thought. But before she could even complete her thought, she crawled to her bed, lay down, and promptly fell asleep.
[i]**Paige was swimming. She was swimming through the cool blue water. She swam quickly, and efficiently, loving the feeling of the cool water against her skin. She swam and swam and swam, further and further and further. Finally she stopped. She could hardly even see the land anymore. She lay on her back, just floating, her eyes closed, feeling the warm sun on her body. After what seemed like an eternity, Paige decided to try and find the bottom of the lake. She closed her eyes and held her breath, waiting to feel the squishy sand beneath her feet. But she felt nothing. She sank further and further. She felt cool, slimy seaweed brush her ankles. There was still no bottom. Paige was running out of breath, she had to get back to the surface. She pushed herself upwards, towards the light. But she couldn't move. She was stuck. Tangled in the seaweed. Frantically she kicked and kicked, trying to get to the light. She flailed and fought and fought, but she couldn't get above the surface. Her arms flapped around wildly, and she splashed at the water, while screaming "HELP ME! PLEASE! SOMEONE!" Her chest felt tight and she realized this lake was to be her grave. She was so far from land and no one was around for miles. There was no hope. Suddenly she felt an arm grabbing her. For a split second she felt relief. She was safe. But then, her insides lurched. She felt sick. She knew that touch. Paige knew that touch like she knew no other. It was permanently burned into her mind, although she had only felt it once. She would rather die than be touched by him again. Frantically Paige kicked and hit him. He showed no emotion, but pulled her closer and closer to the shore. Paige kicked and screamed and begged, but still, he pulled her along. Paige started to gag. Everything about him disgusted her in ways she had never thought possible. Paige's arm burned from his fingers and her eyes filled with frustrated tears. Her eyes. He told her that they were beautiful. She shuddered. Nothing was safe anymore. Finally they reached the shore. Paige let out a gasp of relief. Surely no one would let her go with him. "HELP! SOMEONE! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME! PLEASE!" she screamed as loudly as she could, as Dean pulled her along in the sand. She fell to her knees. "DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME! HE'LL HURT ME!" Paige screamed. The back of her throat felt raw. Around her, no one paid any attention to her pleas. "PLEASE! NO! NO!"[/i]
Paige woke up, drenched in a cold sweat. Her heart was pounding loudly, it seemed strong enough to force it's way out of her chest. It was never over. Never. She wasn't pregnant, but she wasn't safe yet. Paige sat up in bed and took deep breaths to calm herself down. Her head pounded and she felt a migraine coming on. She shivered and put on her biggest sweater. Her head throbbed painfully and she closed her eyes to dull the pain. It didn't work, so Paige decided to get an aspirin and a glass of water. Paige walked down the stairs, drowning in her sweater, still shivering. How long had she slept? Her brother was still parked on the couch, and he was still annoyed with her. As she walked into the kitchen he rolled his eyes in her direction, but thankfully, said nothing. Just then, the phone rang. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Mike was still sitting on the couch, lazily. But Paige couldn't pick up the phone. It could be him. "Mike? Please get the phone." Paige said, barely above a whisper. Paige knew she had to raise her voice, but she couldn't. Her dream had felt so real, maybe it was a sign of something to come? Quickly she picked up the phone and then hung it up.
"Who was it?" Mike called from the living room.
"Uh. wrong number!" Paige said.
Then the phone rang again. "Mike? Can you please get it?"
"Fine! I don't know what is wrong with you Paige, but please, pull the stick out of your ass!" Mike said loudly, before picking up the phone. In spite of herself, Paige smiled. She had won this round. She opened the cupboard, and picked up a bottle of Advil. There were so many brightly coloured pills in there. so many. No one would ever notice if there were some missing. What if Paige accidentally took more than 2 on an empty stomach? Everything haunted her, everything reminded her if him. Maybe this was the only solution. She stared into the bottle, harder, the colours swirling before her eyes. They were so perfect. bright, perfectly shaped.
"PAIGE! HELLO? HELLO?"
Letting out a gasp, Paige turned around abruptly. She couldn't believe what she had just been thinking.
"Yes Mike?" she said shakily, holding onto the counter for support.
"Phone for you." He said monotonously.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"I dunno. Some guy. I don't know all your little friends."
*A guy? Spinner? Jimmy? Or maybe. Dean?* her conscience nagged at her. *C'mon, pick up the phone. Maybe he's finally calling Paige. Maybe you're just overreacting about this whole thing and it's all your fault. Maybe you expected too much. Maybe it happens all the time. Maybe you're nothing special.*
With a quick glance around the kitchen, Paige pocketed the bottle of Advil.
*What are you doing?* her inner voice demanded.
"Shutting you up." She muttered. Then she walked over to the phone, the only thing keeping her calm was the little bottle inside of her pocket.
Paige finally lifted her head from the floor, about 40 minutes later. She was so. tired. The pregnancy test was sitting on the floor in front of her. Sleepily she reached for it. There was a minus sign. *What does that mean again?* Paige thought slowly. For some reason, she was just so very tired. She rubbed her eyes and reached for the box. * A plus sign indicates pregnancy and a minus sign indicates the opposite* Paige read from the side of the box. So she wasn't pregnant. Her lips lifted in a small grin, but she knew that the absence of being pregnant would make her have to finally deal with her rape. *Maybe. Maybe I should call Hazel. and Terri. and they can come over. and we can. talk.* Paige thought. But before she could even complete her thought, she crawled to her bed, lay down, and promptly fell asleep.
[i]**Paige was swimming. She was swimming through the cool blue water. She swam quickly, and efficiently, loving the feeling of the cool water against her skin. She swam and swam and swam, further and further and further. Finally she stopped. She could hardly even see the land anymore. She lay on her back, just floating, her eyes closed, feeling the warm sun on her body. After what seemed like an eternity, Paige decided to try and find the bottom of the lake. She closed her eyes and held her breath, waiting to feel the squishy sand beneath her feet. But she felt nothing. She sank further and further. She felt cool, slimy seaweed brush her ankles. There was still no bottom. Paige was running out of breath, she had to get back to the surface. She pushed herself upwards, towards the light. But she couldn't move. She was stuck. Tangled in the seaweed. Frantically she kicked and kicked, trying to get to the light. She flailed and fought and fought, but she couldn't get above the surface. Her arms flapped around wildly, and she splashed at the water, while screaming "HELP ME! PLEASE! SOMEONE!" Her chest felt tight and she realized this lake was to be her grave. She was so far from land and no one was around for miles. There was no hope. Suddenly she felt an arm grabbing her. For a split second she felt relief. She was safe. But then, her insides lurched. She felt sick. She knew that touch. Paige knew that touch like she knew no other. It was permanently burned into her mind, although she had only felt it once. She would rather die than be touched by him again. Frantically Paige kicked and hit him. He showed no emotion, but pulled her closer and closer to the shore. Paige kicked and screamed and begged, but still, he pulled her along. Paige started to gag. Everything about him disgusted her in ways she had never thought possible. Paige's arm burned from his fingers and her eyes filled with frustrated tears. Her eyes. He told her that they were beautiful. She shuddered. Nothing was safe anymore. Finally they reached the shore. Paige let out a gasp of relief. Surely no one would let her go with him. "HELP! SOMEONE! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME! PLEASE!" she screamed as loudly as she could, as Dean pulled her along in the sand. She fell to her knees. "DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME! HE'LL HURT ME!" Paige screamed. The back of her throat felt raw. Around her, no one paid any attention to her pleas. "PLEASE! NO! NO!"[/i]
Paige woke up, drenched in a cold sweat. Her heart was pounding loudly, it seemed strong enough to force it's way out of her chest. It was never over. Never. She wasn't pregnant, but she wasn't safe yet. Paige sat up in bed and took deep breaths to calm herself down. Her head pounded and she felt a migraine coming on. She shivered and put on her biggest sweater. Her head throbbed painfully and she closed her eyes to dull the pain. It didn't work, so Paige decided to get an aspirin and a glass of water. Paige walked down the stairs, drowning in her sweater, still shivering. How long had she slept? Her brother was still parked on the couch, and he was still annoyed with her. As she walked into the kitchen he rolled his eyes in her direction, but thankfully, said nothing. Just then, the phone rang. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Mike was still sitting on the couch, lazily. But Paige couldn't pick up the phone. It could be him. "Mike? Please get the phone." Paige said, barely above a whisper. Paige knew she had to raise her voice, but she couldn't. Her dream had felt so real, maybe it was a sign of something to come? Quickly she picked up the phone and then hung it up.
"Who was it?" Mike called from the living room.
"Uh. wrong number!" Paige said.
Then the phone rang again. "Mike? Can you please get it?"
"Fine! I don't know what is wrong with you Paige, but please, pull the stick out of your ass!" Mike said loudly, before picking up the phone. In spite of herself, Paige smiled. She had won this round. She opened the cupboard, and picked up a bottle of Advil. There were so many brightly coloured pills in there. so many. No one would ever notice if there were some missing. What if Paige accidentally took more than 2 on an empty stomach? Everything haunted her, everything reminded her if him. Maybe this was the only solution. She stared into the bottle, harder, the colours swirling before her eyes. They were so perfect. bright, perfectly shaped.
"PAIGE! HELLO? HELLO?"
Letting out a gasp, Paige turned around abruptly. She couldn't believe what she had just been thinking.
"Yes Mike?" she said shakily, holding onto the counter for support.
"Phone for you." He said monotonously.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"I dunno. Some guy. I don't know all your little friends."
*A guy? Spinner? Jimmy? Or maybe. Dean?* her conscience nagged at her. *C'mon, pick up the phone. Maybe he's finally calling Paige. Maybe you're just overreacting about this whole thing and it's all your fault. Maybe you expected too much. Maybe it happens all the time. Maybe you're nothing special.*
With a quick glance around the kitchen, Paige pocketed the bottle of Advil.
*What are you doing?* her inner voice demanded.
"Shutting you up." She muttered. Then she walked over to the phone, the only thing keeping her calm was the little bottle inside of her pocket.