"Um… Squall?" Quistis' voice came from behind him. Squall hastily wiped his mouth and turned around.

"Something you want to tell us?" Quistis continued?

Frowning slightly, Squall shook his head.

"It's just," she pursued, "we all saw you kissing Irvine." Squall blanched. "Is there something we should know?"

"Irvine," he began awkwardly, "asked me for a favor. He wants to convince Selphie that he's gay."

They both looked over at Selphie, who was standing stiff, her jaw dropped, green eyes glittering with unshed tears, ignoring Rinoa, who was holding her hand and speaking softly, presumably words of comfort.

"I think it worked," the former instructor remarked. "Now what are you going to do about Selphie?" She watched in amusement while Squall folded his arms, his eyebrows deeply furrowed. Her expression changed when she glanced over to Selphie again, who had shaken off Rinoa's restraining arm and had murder in her eyes.

"Think fast, Squall. She's coming."

Quistis barely had time to dodge as Selphie darted up and punched Squall solidly in the jaw.

His head barely moved with the impact, but otherwise he stood perfectly still, arms still folded impassively across his chest as he watched Selphie hop around, clutching at her hand.

"You need to hold your wrist straight, aim for a spot several inches past the point of impact, and put your whole body into it," he observed, deadpan. "Want to try again?"

Gritting her teeth, Selphie swung again, this time with her left hand. Squall rocked back on his heels from the blow. He slowly brought one hand up to touch his face and stared, bemused, at the trace of blood. "Much better," he said, eventually, looking up from his hand to Selphie's furious eyes. "You still need to work on the follow through, though. If you ask, I'm sure Zell will give you some pointers."

Quistis and Rinoa exchanged glances. Neither one of them quite knew how to react to one friend offering helpful hints to another friend trying to beat the crap out of him. Rinoa raised an eyebrow inquisitively and spread her hands in a helpless, questioning movement. Quistis shrugged in reply and tilted her head to indicate that something was happening.

Selphie's temper had been building all the while, only aggravated by Squall's refusal to engage her in a fight. With an enraged shriek of, "Men!" she kicked his legs out from under him and followed him down.

After a confusing tangle of limbs, Squall ended up sprawled on his back, Selphie kneeling on his biceps and pinning his wrists with her hands.

"Ah… guys?" Rinoa ventured. "We're drawing a crowd. You might want to play this game later."

Selphie looked around and saw at least a dozen people staring at them, with more arriving all the time.

"Garden halls are not the place for this," Quistis said loudly. "Take your exercises to the training center."

Glowing red, Selphie levered herself to her feet. She extended an embarrassed hand to Squall.

He looked at it for a long moment before accepting the offer. Once on his feet he murmured, "Better?" causing Selphie to go almost purple from shame.

"Sorry," she whispered. In a more normal voice she added, "You guys can go. I'm not going to hit him again—and if he hits me, I deserve it."

"I won't hit you." Squall looked almost tender as he said it.

"Come on, Quisty," Rinoa declared, dragging the blonde off by the arm. "I've been meaning to talk with you." Moving through the still-gathered onlookers she added, "Show's over, folks. If you want to try again, they'll be here all week."

The two combatants waited silently until the crowd had shuffled away.

Finally, "I'm so sorry, Squall. It's just…"

"I know." He sighed. "Surprised me, too."

"Oh!" Selphie had just noticed the trickle of blood about to drip from his chin.

The brief tingle of a cure spell temporarily numbed his aching jaw as it repaired his split lip and soothed the blossoming bruises.

"Did I really hit that hard?" Selphie wondered, watching a barely formed mark the size of her fist seeping back into his flesh.

"No," Squall informed her. "I just bruise easily. Fair skin." A playful punch caught him in the arm. "I thought you were finished?"

Giggling, Selphie latched onto the arm she'd just hit. "Let's go to the library. It'll be quiet there, and I want to talk to you."

Squall allowed himself to be led into a back section of the library near a section on weapons, projectile, maintaining and repairing. He spent a moment pondering the often ridiculous categories for books before Selphie called his attention to her by the simple expedient of tapping him firmly on his forehead. He tried glaring at her, but in the face of her resumed unhappiness, he just couldn't manage it.

"Why?" The tears were back again, as quickly as they had vanished.

Taking a deep breath, Squall asked her, "Why did he kiss me? Or why didn't he kiss you?"

"Either! Or both. I don't know. He goes on about how much I mean to him, then he flirts with everyone in sight, then I find him lip locked with you, of all people!" The tears were running freely now. "Am I really so awful that he'd rather be with another guy?"

"He said that you wouldn't believe him when he told you he was gay. This reaction is exactly what he wanted to avoid. You do mean a lot to him; he said you were like a sister to him."

"I don't want to be his sister!" she wailed. "I just want him to want me!"

"Shhh… not so loud. We'll get kicked out." Her sobs only increased. Hesitantly, unsure of how to handle the situation, Squall gathered her shaking, crumpled form into his arms. "There, there," he said awkwardly, patting her back with one hand and keeping her head turned toward his shoulder with the other, attempting to muffle her cries. "There, there," he said again, at a loss for words.

Lifting her arms, Selphie caught his neck in a deathgrip, hugging him so hard he had difficulty breathing.

"Selphie," he choked out, "two murder attempts in one day is bad."

She turned blank eyes up at him, then, as comprehension dawned, loosened her hold on his throat. "Sorry," she said, a weary giggle coloring her words, "I didn't mean it. I just… I feel so bad. Why—" She choked, swallowed hard, and tried again. "Why did he kiss you?"

"He wanted to convince you that he's gay."

"But why you?" she insisted.

"He," Squall felt his blush growing again, "he seemed to be under the impression that I'm gay."

Selphie looked confused. "Aren't you?"

His jaw dropped as he cheeks burned. "Why does everybody think I'm gay?" he asked the ceiling.

"I thought you were when I met you, but then you seemed to be getting close to Rinoa, so I figured I was wrong. But then you were so adamant that you're not dating Rinoa… and how you kissed Irvine…"

"Wait. Why did you think I was gay when we met?"

"I don't know. The way you dress, the way you act around girls. The way you stand like you're a little teapot."

"What?"

"You do! When you jut your hip out and put one hand on it… I just want to tip you over and pour you out!" A fit of giggles got the best of her; she buried her face in Squall's collar to stifle them.

Eventually, she looked up into his crimson face while he desperately wished he were somewhere else. "Squall?" Selphie spoke softly. "Thanks." She wriggled around until she was seated across his lap and touched his cheek tenderly with one hand. "I mean it. Thank you."

It didn't seem possible, but his blush deepened even more. Mumbling something inaudible, he looked away.

With a gentle touch she turned his face back to her. "What was it like?" she asked, wistfully.

"What was what like?"

"Kissing Irvine."

Squall considered for a moment.

"If you repeat this to anyone, I'll kill you."

Her eyes sparkled. "Cross my heart."

"I—it was… it was good. Different. More forceful than I'm used to. I think I liked it."

There was a strange smile on Selphie's face as she said, "Show me?"

Squall blinked in astonishment. "Show…?" he trailed off.

"I just need to know. Please?"

Wondering just how he kept getting into these situations, Squall nodded. He leaned down as Selphie turned her face up and their lips brushed.

A distinctive, deliberate cough made them both turn. A very displeased young woman was staring at them, tapping her foot in irritation.

"Ah. How about we continue this later?" Selphie winked. "Tonight?" She slipped off his lap and vanished through the door.

"Uh…"