Disclaimer: Don't own Gainax. Don't own Evangelion. Don't sue. No
point, no money.
[This is thought]
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This Way To Happiness
Chapter One: Across The Fiery Ocean
By FinalMax
A Richter Scale Production
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*Shinji and Misato's Apartment: Early Morning*
I woke Shinji up around 7:00, I think. He wasn't ready to get up yet, but
I finally managed to convince him to get out of bed. All it took was for
me to say that I thought I heard Misato start on breakfast. Of course, it
wasn't true, but it worked. Since we share the same body, we went to the
bathroom. I figured that we should be clean for our trip today, and I
wondered what I've got to work with here. Good, we have ten fingers, ten
toes, five appendages, two eyes, good teeth, and a little bit of fuzz for a
moustache. Huh, they didn't mention that in the series. It's not really a
moustache, but it's a start. Shinji's build isn't really muscular, per se,
but not really scrawny either. Actually, with a little bit of work, he
could be quite the heartbreaker at school and at work.
When Shinji was done in the bathroom, we headed for the kitchen to start on
breakfast. I was still wondering how I managed to stay for this long.
[What the hell is going on around here? I've never stayed this long in
someone's head. Maybe, it's because I've only visited minds of people from
my own universe before now. I'm going to need some more time to figure
this out. Ah well, I might as well enjoy this turn of events. After all,
I did promise to help out Shinji. I can probably help influence a few
things for Shinji, but I honestly can't change everything around here. Oh,
shit. I didn't think about what effect my presence is going to have on
Shinji's piloting. I've got to tell him; he deserves to know.] I decided
to talk to him then, since Shinji was frying some eggs.
Me: "Hey, Shinji. I've got something to talk to you about."
Shinji: "What is it, Kurt?"
Me: "I know I promised to help you, but I'm afraid that I can't
always help you. There are going to be challenges that you will have
to face alone. I can give you advice, I can root for you, but I can't
fight all your battles for you. I'm also afraid of what will happen
when you pilot an EVA, since I'm in your head. NERV may want to kill
you if they find me."
Shinji: "I see what you mean. I don't really want to pilot EVA,
and I don't really want to die either. Maybe we should make a run for
it, OK?" [Although I don't want to run either.]
Me: "No, Shinji. We can't run from them. I could see if I can hide
during the test. Maybe I could rummage in your memories while you're
trying to sync with Unit 01. One of the things I'm going to help you
with is your courage. I know you have it. I saw it when you first
piloted your EVA. It takes real courage to stand up to protect even
one person. I'm not going to let you throw that kind of courage away.
Let's just get ready for today. We'll worry about EVA when the next
test comes. For now, we'll just live for the moment." [Please, let
this work.]
Shinji: "Alright, Kurt. We'll do things your way. To be honest,
I'm glad you convinced me to stay. I didn't want to leave my friends
behind. I just want to live with them in peace."
Me: "Good, I'm glad it worked. Now, let's finish getting breakfast
ready."
As we finished our mental discourse, Pen-Pen waddled into the kitchen for
his breakfast. Shinji jumped when Pen-Pen pecked at his ankle. God, that
was funny. Shinji had to introduce me to everyone's favorite warm water
penguin. Shinji gave Pen-Pen some sardines and a can of beer before
returning to breakfast.
Misato crawled out of bed at 7:45. I can't really say that she was awake
yet. At first glance, Misato looked like a zombie. Slowly, she dragged
her feet to the fridge, got her first beer of the morning, and took a long
pull from the can. Immediately, her body seemed to come to life. I was
honestly tempted to cry out, "She's alive! Alive!!" She looked a hell of
a lot better now. Her purple hair, although messy, seemed to flow down her
shoulders like water. Her normal morning wear left little to the
imagination. I'd say that her measurements are 40-26-36, E cup. Of
course, I can't be too sure.
Now that she awoke, Shinji and I gave her breakfast. She rewarded Shinji's
kindness with a warm, tender smile and a bear hug. Well, at least I can
say that she has one hell of a grip. After she let go of Shinji's body
(and, consequentially, my body), Misato teased Shinji of trying to look
good for the Second Child when we'd pick her up today.
Shinji mentally pointed out that, although she's his guardian, he feels
like he's taking care of her. I had to have a discussion with him about
that.
Me: "Yo, Shinji."
Shinji: "What's up?"
Me: "Misato seems pretty nice."
Shinji: "Yeah, she is sort of nice. I don't know."
Me: "Shinji, my friend, you have a lot to learn about others. Do
you remember when I told you that I'm an empath?"
Shinji: "Yeah. What about it, Kurt?"
Me: "Well, I can see what other people feel. I can see into the
core of their being, into the part that they hide from everyone, even
themselves. I can tell you what they feel about you. I can't tell
you how everyone you've ever met feels for you, as many of them are
still trying to sort those feelings. I can, however, tell you how
people you are close to feel. I can tell you what Misato feels for
you right now, if you like."
Shinji: "Really? Well, I would like to know how she feels. I
couldn't figure it out after I ran away; her feelings seemed to change
a bit. Would you tell me, please?"
Me: "Sure. First, I need you to look in Misato's eyes. That should
make it easier for me."
Shinji gently tilted Misato's head so we could look in her eyes. I could
see tears forming in her eyes from Shinji's touch. Her smile was almost as
bright as the sun. After a couple seconds, I was able to tell him.
"Shinji, in her heart, you are the son she never had. You are her hope for
the future. She is torn between motherly love and duty. She deeply
regrets that you have to fight, but she can't imagine the world in any
other way. This is because she'd have to imagine a life without you in it.
Yes, she wishes that everything and nothing would change. She'd do
anything for you, but can't do the one thing she knows would make you
happy. She would bear all your pain if you let her. I think that it would
be best if you opened up to her. You need her, and she needs you. [They
need each other more than they know] Shinji, give her a hug. It sounds
lame, but it would make her happier than she's been in a long time."
Shinji slowly walked beside Misato, knelt down, and wrapped his arms around
his guardian. Misato tensed at the gentle embrace for a second, surprised
at her young ward's sudden show of affection. After she recovered from the
shock, she wrapped her right arm around Shinji's neck and pulled him into
an even bigger bear hug, smiling as she did so. "Shinji," Misato said with
joyful tears in her eyes, "you've made me happy. I've been so worried
about you. I was afraid that you'd stay in your shell. You're always so
quiet, and I never know how you feel about me."
Slowly, Pen-Pen strode over and pulled on Misato's shirt a little. Misato
and Shinji looked at the penguin and guessed that he felt left out, so each
of them released an arm and invited the feathered member of this
interesting family into the hug. After a minute more of this group hug,
they left each other's arms and continued with breakfast. No words needed
to be spoken at this point; there wasn't any need. Breakfast and the
breakfast dishes were done within fifteen minutes. As Shinji was getting
everything cleaned up, he decided to have a conversation with me.
Shinji: "Hey, Kurt."
Me: "I know, Shinji. You're welcome. Let's get ready; I can
already sense your friends approaching. They seem excited today."
Shinji: "Yeah. They're probably drooling over Misato, although
Kensuke is probably excited to go see Unit 02 or some kind of military
toys."
(Ding-Dong!)
Shinji: "That's them now, I'll bet. Kurt?"
Me: "What is it, Shinji?"
Shinji: "I don't think I need you to tell me how they feel. I already
know."
Me: "That's good to know, Shinji. Let's go, bud."
Then Shinji went to answer the door. Touji and Kensuke were at the door,
drooling at Misato, who happened to be standing behind Shinji. When the
two Stooges got their tongues back in their skulls, Misato, Touji, Kensuke,
and Shinji left for the helicopter that would take them to the "Over the
Rainbow" and Unit 02.
*The "Over The Rainbow"*
As the chopper hovered above the "Over the Rainbow," Kensuke was rambling
on about the history of the carrier, its capacity, and other tidbits of
useless military information. Touji was taking a nap until his own snoring
woke him up. Misato was asking all of us if we thought this was fun; most
of us grunted an affirmative. Shinji and I were having a nice internal
discussion about some very important things.
Me: " . . . So let me get this straight: you save the world, go to
school, are used as a guinea pig for god-knows-how-many experiments,
and you don't get paid?"
Shinji: "That's right. They didn't even give Misato a raise when
she became my guardian. I don't really spend much. It's not like I
need it, anyways."
Me: "And why is that?"
Shinji: "I'd get money from my father every year for my birthday.
I've bought very little with it, just my cello, a jacket, some
clothes, my SDAT, and some tapes for it. I put the rest in a bank
account."
Me: "Well that's good, but you still aren't getting paid. You save
the world for a living, for crying out loud! You deserve a paycheck,
not to mention hazard pay!"
Shinji: "You know what? You've got a point. Rei and I should be
getting paid. I'm going to take it up with NERV when we get back."
As we got out of the chopper, the wind generated by the helicopter blades
made Touji's hat fly away from him. He kept chasing it, calling out to
anyone to catch his hat. It was funny to see him run the entire width of
the carrier twice. I didn't think a hat could be that slippery.
Suddenly, a foot stopped the hat's rampage. Shinji's eyes followed the leg
attached to the foot and the body with it, stopping at a girl's face. Her
auburn hair flowed as if it were made of fire, topped with her trademark A-
10 neural interfaces. Her sapphire eyes sparkled in the sun. Her skin was
cream colored, not too pale, and not too tan. Her figure was accented by
her yellow sundress. Shinji and I both had the same thought in our
collective head: [Damn, she's gorgeous.] So this is Asuka. I can't
believe she's a fourteen year old. At the time, neither the three stooges
nor myself could produce a coherent thought.
That changed after the wind blew Asuka's dress up, giving all of us guys a
good look at her underwear, or lack thereof. I knew what would happen
next, so I just went with it. (SMACK!) I felt the imprint of a hand on
Shinji's (and mine) face.
"Ow!" Touji said, "What the hell was that for."
"That was the viewing fee," Asuka stated.
Shinji and I thought it was a very reasonable rate. Hell, it's probably
cheap. Unfortunately, Touji didn't think so, the idiot. He did something
that we would all regret. "I think it's a little much. Here's your
change!" Touji said before he dropped trow in front of Asuka. He deserved
to get hit, but he didn't need to get kicked in the nuts! That's just too
low.
"So where's the Third Child?" Asuka asked, glancing at the prone form of
Touji. "Don't tell me that he's that pervert over there."
"Don't worry, Asuka," Misato said, pointing at Shinji. "Shinji over here
is the Third Child."
(To Shinji) [Go ahead. Introduce yourself. Try to make a good
impression.]
"H-h-hi. I-I'm . . ." Shinji began to mumble.
(To Myself) [Geez, I'm going to have to do something for him. Now I know I
saw a confidence switch in here somewhere, so where is it? Ah, there it
is. It's right above the meekness board. No wonder he hasn't found it.
We'll just flip that switch and . . . there! That should help. Maybe I
should read the owner's manual.]
"Hello," Shinji said smoothly. "I'm Shinji. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Then he took her hand in his and kissed it ever so gently. [Where'd this
confidence come from?]
"Whatever," Asuka said rather coldly, although the blush on her cheeks told
a different story. After collecting her thoughts for a second, she added,
"At least you know how to introduce yourself properly to a lady like me. I
am, after all . . . Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Shinji and I turned our head to see
what was so funny.
As this interesting introduction took place, one could spot three jaws fall
through the deck of the "Over the Rainbow." The shocked look on Misato's,
Touji's, and Kensuke's faces was absolutely hilarious. Their faces were
bleach white, their eyes were practically popping out of their skulls, and
they had the largest collective sweatdrop ever recorded. Shinji and Asuka
were laughing their asses off simply from looking at their companions. In
the distance, however, we heard a distinctively male voice say, "So you're
the Third."
At the sound of the new voice, Misato seemed to immediately break out of
her trance. Both Shinji and Misato looked in the direction of the voice,
and they found an unshaven man, wearing loose, casual clothing. "Kaji!!"
squealed Asuka, as she attached herself to his arm. Meanwhile, Misato shot
Kaji one of her death glares.
Kaji was slightly taller than the average man, about 5'11", by my estimate.
He had this laid-back attitude that can just attract people to him. That
would definitely explain the swarm of women with "I Love You, Kaji" signs
about fifty yards back. I could tell that Misato and him have some kind of
history between them. Shinji might want to know a little about this.
Me: "Hey, Shinji. Yo! Shinji! Stop drooling over Asuka and pay
attention!"
Shinji: "Huh, uh, what? Hey, I'm not drooling! What do you want now,
Kurt?"
Me: "I noticed something as Misato and Kaji looked at each other.
They may have some kind of history between them."
Shinji: "What kind of history?"
Me: "The romantic kind, of course. I sense a longing from Kaji
towards Misato. What's even more interesting is that I sense the same
from Misato, mingled with some regret. You may want to talk to her
later about it, okay?"
Shinji: "Okay, thanks. I'll talk to her about it when we get
home. Oh, and do you know what made me so confident all of a sudden?"
Me: "Yeah, uh, about that . . . "
Shinji: "Well?"
Me: "I just hit the confidence switch in your head."
Shinji: "You can do that? Why?"
Me: "You said you wanted to make a good impression with Asuka,
didn't you?"
Shinji: "Well, yeah."
Me: "Well, there you go. Don't worry about thanking me; I'm just
doing what I said I'd do for you. Now, go catch up with everyone.
They're heading for the mess hall."
The others were about to turn a corner when Shinji finally caught up with
them. Touji and Kensuke teased Shinji a little about his earlier actions
with Asuka. I chuckled as Shinji began to turn several shades of red, at
some point matching Asuka's hair. Asuka noticed too, and she started in on
the other two stooges, especially Touji. This was fine by Shinji, since
Touji teased him the most that day. Within a few minutes, the group was in
the mess. They found a free table and sat down to have a (quiet?) talk.
"So, Shinji," Kaji inquired, "is Misato still wild in bed?"
"W-W-What!?!" Misato and just about everyone else at the table shouted.
"Ha, ha, ha!" Kaji laughed. "Don't worry, I wasn't serious. I just wanted
to see your reactions. Now, Shinji, seriously, how was she?"
"I-I-I have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Kaji," Shinji answered.
"How dare you think that I'd stoop that low, Kaji!" Misato fumed. "I'll
have you know that my Shinji is a perfect gentleman. Besides, I'm almost
old enough to be his mother."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me, at least, not outside the bedroom,"
Kaji retorted.
At this point, Misato was too flustered to make any rational response. So
she stormed off to the bridge. Shinji was also too embarrassed to say
anything. Fortunately for Shinji, Asuka decided to drag him out of the
mess before Touji and Kensuke could taunt him any more. She dragged Shinji
over to where Unit 02 was being stored, and started to rant about how great
her EVA is to his and all that nice nine yards worth of bullshit.
Thankfully, she finished before poor Shinji fell asleep. The two pilots
rushed to the deck as they heard a shrill alarm. There was only one thing
that could cause this much trouble for a whole goddamn fleet, an Angel.
Quickly, Asuka dragged Shinji to a stairwell and told him to stay put and
not peek. She then went down one set of stairs and swiftly changed into a
red plugsuit. Shinji took a brief glance in Asuka's direction to see if
she was okay. [Alright, he took a little peek, but I don't blame him. He
is one of us guys, you know.] After she finished changing, Asuka gave
Shinji a plugsuit and told him to go change.
"Don't peek," Shinji said.
"Yeah, right. Like I'm going to peek at a scrawny little boy," Asuka
puffed.
While Shinji was changing, Asuka did peek at him. [I noticed from the
corner of Shinji's left eye, since he was a little too busy with the
plugsuit.] She laughed uncontrollably when Shinji emerged, wearing a
women's plugsuit. He was absolutely embarrassed, and the damn plugsuit
left one hellacious wedgie. [Poor Shinji, I feel for you, buddy.]
After Asuka was done laughing at my host, she dragged a confused and
frustrated Shinji to Unit 02's entry plug. Shinji asked the red headed
beauty what we were going to do. "We're going to fight the Angel,
Dummkopf," Asuka declared. In a matter of moments, Shinji was sitting
behind Asuka Langley Sohryu in her EVA. She didn't know that his thoughts
would interrupt with Unit 02's startup sequence until the screen flashed
'ERROR' in German. She quickly switched it to Japanese after calling
Shinji an idiot. It was when the startup sequence was completed when I
felt a little strange.
Me: "Shinji."
Shinji: "Well, Kurt, it seems it's alright for you to be in my
head when an EVA is starting up. I'm glad that concern has been
settled."
Me: "That's not what I called out to you for. I'm picking up a
strange vibe in here."
Shinji: "What do you mean? I don't feel anymore different than
when I'm in EVA."
Me: "I sense three minds other than my own. I sense yours, I can
sense Asuka more clearly than before, and I sense another presence in
here. I'm not too sure what this means. I'm having a bit of trouble
separating the minds of you, Asuka, and the third mind. I've been
concentrating a lot just to talk to you."
Shinji: "Do you think the Angel has already infected the EVA?"
Me: "No, this third mind is definitely human. I can sense the Angel
from a distance, and it's not the same."
Asuka: [Now's my chance, now I can prove that I'm better than
this Third Child, Shinji Ikari. All I've got to do is beat this Angel
and . . .]
Me: "Huh?"
Shinji: "What is it?"
Me: "That's strange. I just picked up Asuka's thoughts as clearly
as I did yours. Maybe it's the entry plug and the LCL that's doing
this."
Shinji: "Maybe you're right. I just wonder whom the third mind
you sensed belongs to. Is he or she on our side?"
Me: "I'm not sure, Shinji. I think I have a little more mobility
around here, so I'll try to investigate. I might be able to freely
move from person to person now, but I want you to concentrate on the
battle. Trust me when I say that Asuka may need your help."
Shinji: "Okay, I'll do it. Good luck and be careful."
Me: "Okay, bye."
*Within the mindscape of EVA Unit 02*
And so, I went into the mindscape of the EVA. I was able to reach Asuka's
mind before I felt something pulling me into some kind of void. I would
have called out to Shinji, but I didn't know if he'd get pulled in too. As
my descent in the mindscape of EVA continued, I heard a strange, but
definitely female, voice.
????: "Who are you?"
Me: "I should be asking the same thing, don't you think?"
????: "I say again, 'Who are you?'"
Me: "I am Kurt. May I ask who you are?"
????: "I am Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu. What are you doing here?"
Me: "I'm just visiting. I was just looking around . . . Wait a
minute. You said 'Sohryu,' right? By any chance, are you related to
an Asuka Langley Sohryu?"
Kyoko: "Yes, I am her mother. Do you know her? How has she been
doing? Is she alright?"
Me: "Don't worry, she's alright. She's in the entry plug of Unit 02
right now, preparing to fight an Angel."
Kyoko: "So, she's been chosen to pilot. But she's so young. The
Angels shouldn't be attacking until . . . just what year is it
anyway?"
Me: "It's 2015, Mrs. Sohryu."
Kyoko: "But I was in an experiment with Unit 02 a couple days ago."
Me: "Madam, I hate to bear bad news, but you've been dead for about
a decade. You committed suicide. Your daughter's fourteen, now."
Kyoko: "No! It just isn't possible. I could never do that; I love
Asuka too much to do that, even if I wanted to."
Me: "I might have an explanation, but I need to ask a question for
you first. What exactly was this experiment you were in?"
Kyoko: "After the unfortunate accident with Yui Ikari and Unit 01, we
decided to use a system similar to the experimental Magi computer
system AI. It was basically a personality and thought process
emulator. I had to sync with Unit 02, while a computer recorded my
brain wave patterns for imprinting. Oh, no!"
Me: "Yes, I'm afraid. The information you just gave me confirmed a
hypothesis. Like the accident with Unit 01, your encounter with Unit
02 tore your mind from your body. You see, after your experiment, you
were put in the hospital for a nervous breakdown. You even started
calling a red-haired doll 'Asuka' and kept asking it if she wanted to
go to heaven with you. Then, on the day the real Asuka was chosen to
be the pilot of Unit 02, your daughter walked in to see you and the
doll hanging from the ceiling."
Kyoko: "Oh my god. What have I done to my poor Asuka?"
Me: "It didn't get much better after that. Your husband got
remarried not long after your death, and your daughter started
shutting everyone out of her life. She's been living only to pilot
since that day, after she promised to never need anyone ever again.
I'm so sorry that I had to be the one to inform you about this."
Kyoko: "Oh, my dear Asuka. I didn't know. I just didn't know."
At this point, Kyoko Sohryu broke down and cried. I don't like to see
women suffer, so I gently held her and gave her a proverbial shoulder to
cry on. I didn't know what to do or how to get back. I did know what was
going on outside, but I wasn't sure how far into the battle Shinji and
Asuka were in.
Me: "Kyoko, I need you to do something for me."
Kyoko: "What?"
Me: "I need to see the fight outside. Whether you like it or not,
you now inhabit Unit 02. You can make it move, see through its eyes,
and protect your daughter. I'm going to suggest some things so just
do what I say, okay?"
Kyoko: "Okay, I'll try."
Me: "Good. Now focus on a looking glass. Imagine seeing the
outside world through it. Try to reach out to your daughter's mind if
you must. Extend yourself as far as your mind will go."
Kyoko: "I think I'm getting something. Yes! Look! We have our
looking glass! I can see it . . . "
*Meanwhile, at the battle*
Unit 02 leaps from ship to ship until it reaches the carrier, where its
primary power was set up. As it leaps onto the carrier, the tarp that
acted as a cape was thrown away, revealing the red knight known as EVA. As
it lands, however, one of the two pilots inside the entry plug falls out of
his place.
Shinji: [Damn it! I fell off the pilot's chair. That's what I
get for sitting behind one of the bossiest people I've ever met.
Where is this Angel, anyway? I can't see it anywhere. Wait, we're on
the ocean; it's underwater, isn't it? Damn my bad luck. That's the
last time I let someone convince me to ride sidesaddle in an entry
plug. I just hope this crazy bitch doesn't get us killed.]
Asuka: [Ha! That idiot Shinji just fell off his seat. I knew
there wasn't anything special about the Third Child. It was probably
a fluke that he could pilot his EVA without training. I mean, who
gets a 40% sync ratio on their first try. I bet they had him train
for months after he screwed up. At least I know my EVA doesn't have a
mind of its own; it will do whatever I say. Now, where is that Angel?
I want to kill it as soon as possible so I can show up the idiot over
there. (to her right) Duh, it's probably underwater because it's
scared of my Unit 02 and me.]
"Asuka," Shinji calmly stated, "we shouldn't try to dive in after it.
After all, the B-type equipment wasn't exactly designed for underwater
combat."
"Just because it wasn't designed for it doesn't mean it can't do it," Asuka
retorted. [Well, it doesn't. Okay, Angel, here comes the Great Asuka
Langley Sohryu!]
Asuka, in all her arrogance, willed Unit 02 to dive in after the Angel.
After she caught up with it, Asuka found out very fast that the EVA
couldn't fight efficiently underwater using only the B-type equipment. All
the EVA could do was sink slowly to the Angel's mouth.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Third Child?" Asuka screamed, "Are you
going to help me or what?" [I swear, if he makes one smart-ass remark . .
.]
"What do you want me to do, Asuka?" the timid hero asked. [I have no damn
clue what to do here. This isn't like the time I had Kensuke and Touji in
my entry plug. For one thing, I'm the passenger, and it's her EVA.]
"If I had an idea, wouldn't I have already told you what to do, Shinji?"
[God, this boy is dense. You'd think he'd have that much common sense.]
"Well, move back a bit. I can't grip the controls correctly if I'm not in
the seat. We'll figure it out after that, okay?" [I'm lying. I've never
tried piloting EVA in another position, and I don't think it will matter
anyway. I just don't want to be bounced around the entry plug anymore.]
After Asuka moved back a bit, Shinji scooted into his temporary seat. He
blushed a little as Asuka leaned into him to reach her controls. [This
isn't the time to think like that!] He leaned forward a bit to let her
reach them a little better. As Asuka gripped the butterfly controls, her
and Shinji were surprised to hear Misato informing them of her plan to
defeat the Angel. Unit 02 was to open the aquatic Angel's mouth and hold
it, while two battleships sink to the same depth. There, the ships would
fire directly into the Angel's Core, thus killing the monster.
The two pilots slowly shook their heads simultaneously as they considered
the absurdity of her plan. (Both) [It's a great plan, but there's one
problem. The EVA can't swim, let alone open an Angel's mouth underwater!
We're going to need a miracle to pull this off.]
*Meanwhile, back in the mindscape*
Kyoko: "Who's that boy in there with my Asuka?"
Me: "That's my friend and how I got here, Shinji Ikari, the son of Yui
Ikari."
Kyoko: "You mean he was chosen too? Which unit does he pilot? Why is he
here?"
Me: "Wait a minute. Let me explain. Yes, he was chosen. He has
been designated as the Third Child. He pilots EVA Unit 01. He came
here with the director of field operations to pick up Unit 02 and your
daughter. Right now, he's fighting an Angel. He doesn't like to
pilot, because he feels that his father is using him."
Kyoko: "Why is that?"
Me: "Gendo, Shinji's father, left his son shortly after Yui died.
For about a decade, Shinji has been living with his teacher. Not too
long ago, Shinji got a letter from his father saying that he wanted to
talk to Shinji. The day Shinji arrived in Tokyo-3 to meet with his
father was the very day the Third Angel attacked the Geofront.
Misato, the director of field operations, picked him up and took him
to NERV HQ. There, Shinji encountered his father and asked him, 'Why
did you send for me?' His father told him that he had a use for
Shinji."
Kyoko: "That's terrible."
Me: "That's not the end of it. Shinji refused to pilot the EVA.
Gendo decided that if his son wouldn't pilot Unit 01, then he'd have
the First Child, Rei Ayanami, do it instead. When Rei entered the
room where Unit 01 was kept, Shinji was absolutely shocked. Rei was
severely injured from an earlier accident with Unit 00. As Shinji
looked down at the stretcher Rei lay upon, a blast from the Angel
shook the compound. Shinji would've been crushed by debris, if Unit
01 hadn't raised its arm to block it. It shocked everyone in the
room, since they didn't think EVA would activate without the entry
plug. He rushed over to the overturned stretcher to check on Rei. As
he held the fragile female pilot, she gave a soft cry, and Shinji
noticed the blood now on his hands. He decided there to pilot Unit
01, despite having no prior training, since he felt that Rei would die
if she went out in the EVA. He's continued to fight because they tell
him to. He had a chance to run away after the Fourth Angel, but he's
stayed. I think he really pilots so no one else would suffer the pain
of the EVA."
Kyoko: "I had no idea that Gendo would be so cold. I knew how much
Yui meant to him, but I never imagined that he'd turn his back on his
son only to use him later. That's so disgusting. I know Yui wouldn't
have approved of this."
Me: "That makes two of us, but that's all in the past. What matters
right now is that your daughter and my friend are in trouble. Right
now, we are all in the EVA. They may have trouble fighting
underwater. We have to find a way to help them. Do you have any
ideas?"
Kyoko: "I might have one, but it would require something that might be
impossible."
Me: "What is it?"
Kyoko: "We might be able to give the EVA a burst of strength to open
the Angel's jaw so the battleships can attack the Core. The only
thing is that we need an extremely high sync ratio to help, and with
two pilots in there, it would mean that both of them must think on the
same wavelength for it to work. I don't know your friend well enough
to trust him to be concentrated on fighting the Angel. After all, my
daughter has grown to be a lovely young woman."
Me: "Don't worry. I've looked through his memories, and he is a
perfect gentleman. He has been in more . . . compromising positions,
and he has maintained his composure where lesser men fail. Besides,
this is a life-or-death situation. He'll get the job done; he just
needs to get over his embarrassment first."
Kyoko: "Ha, ha, ha. I'll take your word for it. I just hope it'll
work. I just wonder what I can do for them."
Me: "Maybe, since we're also in the EVA, we should try to encourage
it. Maybe we should chant 'Open' over and over until the EVA opens
the Angel's mouth."
Kyoko: "It sounds too simple, but it's better than nothing."
Me: [It's up to you two now, Asuka and Shinji. The world can't
afford to lose you two, not now, not ever. Those two are more
important than they may think. Besides, I don't know what will happen
if my host dies. I know they'll succeed, but I just can't help but
worry. Now, how do I get back in Shinji's head? I didn't exactly see
any road signs or anything . . .] (This was while Kyoko and me were
chanting)
*Back in the fray*
As the battleships were approaching their destination, Unit 02 and its two
pilots were having some problems. The Angel ate the progressive knife, and
the EVA was a little waterlogged. On top of that, the EVA was having
little progress opening the Angel's mouth.
(Asuka) [Damn it, why does this shit always happen to me? First, my
laundry wasn't done, and then those Stooges got a free look up my dress,
and now this! Why did I drag that Shinji into my EVA? He's breaking my
concentration. Forget him! I need to concentrate. Open up you son of a
bitch! You hear me? Open, open, open, open . . .]
(Shinji) [Why me? Why do I always end up in these situations? First, I
embarrass myself at Misato's on my first night living there. Then there's
the incident from when I delivered Rei's new passcard, and now I've got a
beautiful girl leaning forwards on my back. As if I needed more pressure,
she has to press her chest against my back. I swear she's doing this to me
deliberately. (Mentally slaps himself) I've got more important things to
worry about now. I've got this damned Angel to deal with. Open your
damned mouth! Open up! Open! Please open? Open, open . . .]
Asuka & Shinji: [Open!]
Kyoko & me: [Open!]
Suddenly, as our thoughts converged, a surge of power went shooting up the
arms of EVA Unit 02, opening the mouth of the giant, fishy Angel. Just
then, the ships arrived and fired into the behemoth's Core.
All minds present in EVA: [Run like hell!]
As this thought crossed all our heads, physical or metaphysical, the EVA
kicked off the Angel of fishes and launched itself just as it blew up.
Thankfully, we were able to ride the shockwave to the surface and land on
the deck of the "Over the Rainbow."
"I really should be getting paid for doing this," Shinji exhaled. "I've
been doing this way too much without hazard pay."
Asuka just looked at Shinji with a quizzical look and sighed, "Me too."
*In the mindscape*
Me: "Whew, that was close."
Kyoko: "You're telling me. I can't believe it worked. How do you
think the children are doing right now? I wonder if I can speak to my
daughter?"
Me: "I think they're alright, but I wouldn't recommend trying to
contact Asuka right now, if I were you. Think about it; you've been
dead for the better part of a decade. If you were to contact her now,
she might have a nervous breakdown."
Kyoko: "I guess you're right. If I spoke with her right now, it would
be too painful for both of us. I guess I can figure out how to
control EVA from in here. I may have to keep her safe, just like Yui
did for Shinji."
Me: (Surprised) "How'd you figure it out?"
Kyoko: "Two things you said brought me to that conclusion. First, you
said that, like Yui, EVA must have torn my soul out. The second clue
came when you said that Unit 01 protected Shinji from falling debris
without anyone piloting it. I just figured that Yui was trapped in
Unit 01 and learned how to take some control of it. Now I have to
figure it out for myself."
Me: "Good. Well, I hope you succeed. I've got to leave now."
Kyoko: "Will I speak with you again? It's been so lonely in here, and
I can't even speak with my daughter. Please, tell me you will come
back."
Me: "Mrs. Sohryu, Kyoko, I can't say if I'll speak with you again.
I can promise that I'll try. As for when you can speak with Asuka,
just be patient. Either she will open up to EVA enough for you to
speak with her, or you will have to act for her safety. If I can
figure out how I was able to meet you in the first place, I will
return and tell you how life has been for her outside of EVA. For
now, just prepare to protect your precious child. I'll see what I can
do for her, same as I promised to do for Shinji."
Kyoko: "Thank you, Kurt. I hope we meet again. Farewell, Kurt."
Me: "Until we meet again, Kyoko."
And then, I focused on Shinji's mind, on his memories and feelings. I felt
myself rise from where I was. I waved at Kyoko as I ascended to Shinji's
mind. [Maybe I will be able to meet her again. If I can return from the
EVA to Shinji by simply focusing on his mind, then I might be able to
travel to other minds in the same way.] As the presence of Shinji's mind
grew stronger, the world around me seemed to grow brighter. [Yes, I must
return to Kyoko again. She's been stuck in that dark place by herself for
too long. That's no way for anyone to live.]
*Back on the "Over the Rainbow"*
Me: "Hey, Shinji?"
Shinji: "Hey, Kurt. What happened?"
Me: "You aren't going to believe this. There's a human soul stuck
in the Evangelion. Asuka's EVA has the soul of someone close to her.
I can't tell you more, but I promised her that we'd help Asuka."
Shinji: "What? I can't believe you agreed to without asking me .
. .. Wait a minute. Her? (Teasingly) Did you find yourself a
girlfriend in there?"
Me: "NO I DID NOT! She's already married, and that's against my
beliefs to go for women who are already spoken for. Now, don't tease
me about it, or I'll hit your mute switch. And don't even think that
it doesn't exist, or you'll find out the hard way!"
Shinji: "Okay, okay, I'll quit teasing you. So, what do we do?"
Me: "Well, for now, you should try to be a friend for her. Be kind,
be polite, endure her taunts and assaults, and make her feel welcome.
In short, just be yourself."
Shinji: "That's it? Well, that seems easy enough."
Me: "That's the spirit! Now, let's get you out of that damn red
plugsuit before . . . "
(FLASH) Kensuke had just taken a picture of Shinji wearing that damn
plugsuit Asuka gave him. Shinji just stood as his friends and his guardian
laughed at him, his face as red as the plugsuit. [Poor Shinji, I'm sorry I
didn't show up earlier. I sympathize with you. Oh well, I'd better help
him salvage the rest of this trip.]
Me: "Too late. Just get out of the plugsuit, get clean, and go talk
to Misato about what we talked about earlier today."
Shinji ran from his friends and over to where he left his clothes, which
were conveniently missing. [Only one person could cause this much trouble,
Asuka.]
"What's wrong, Shinji?" Asuka asked with an overly sweet voice. "Did you
lose something?"
Shinji: "Can I get back at her, just this once?"
Me: "Oh, yeah. I'm all for fun and games, but that's just low. Shinji,
attack!"
"No, Asuka," Shinji replied in an eerily calm voice. "I just found
something." He slowly rose to his feet, holding Asuka's yellow sundress.
[Hey, I pressed his confidence switch. Asuka deserves it for this stunt.]
"Shinji Ikari, you better give me that dress back. Just because I hid your
clothes in my locker . . . oops," Asuka gasped, realizing her mistake. Not
only did she just admit to pulling a prank on the Third Child, she just
revealed the location of Shinji's clothes.
"I don't know, Asuka," Shinji spoke, "I think I'll hold on to this until I
get my clothes back. I might consider returning your dress if you lead me
to your locker, and don't try anything funny. I'll know if you try
something."
"Oooh, Shinji, I'm going to kill you!" Asuka screamed as she began to chase
Shinji around the carrier. "I can't wait until I get my hands on you.
You're gonna . . . "
"I didn't know you wanted me that bad, Asuka! Maybe we should slow down.
After all, we just met!" Shinji laughed as he ducked, dodged and faked out
Asuka.
Meanwhile, Misato and the remaining Stooges were looking on with their
mouths wide open. They couldn't believe that Shinji was teasing Asuka.
Just the fact that he was teasing a girl in general was enough to leave
them speechless. After a few minutes of watching this, they started
chasing the two pilots, trying their damnedest to keep Shinji safe. Of
course, they were a little late, since Shinji and Asuka were quickly out of
sight.
Shinji finally gave Asuka her dress back after she got tired of chasing
him. Incidentally, that took about twenty minutes of lapping the carrier.
She got so tired that she chased him right to her locker. However,
physical exhaustion doesn't always stop Asuka from getting her revenge.
She locked the door to the locker room as Shinji and her entered. Shinji
had nowhere to run to.
Unfortunately for Asuka, she forgot that she was in the room with Shinji
and that the lock was on the other side of the door. This became readily
apparent as she pounded on the door for her to leave.
"Um, Asuka?" Shinji asked sheepishly.
"What is it?" Asuka snapped back.
"Um, a-are we s-stuck?" he stuttered.
"No, what would give you that idea?" she said, her voice utterly dripping
with sarcasm.
"S-sorry."
"It's all your fault, you know? If you hadn't taken my dress, we'd not be
in this mess."
"I'm sorry." Shinji thought a little before adding, "Do they have cameras
in here?"
"What the hell are you thinking? I am not, repeat, not interested in a
little boy like you."
"I wasn't thinking like that. I thought that we might be able to call for
someone else to come unlock the door for us, that's all."
"Hey, that's not a bad idea, Third Child. Oh, wait. They don't have
cameras in the locker rooms. They decided that people needed their privacy
when they built this ship."
"Oh," sighed Shinji. "I-I guess there's only one thing to do right now."
"And what, pray tell, would that be? What could we possibly do in here,
huh?"
"C-change out of t-these plugsuits, p-perhaps?"
"AHA! So that's your plan, you want to gawk over my naked body! Well no
chance, Shinji," Asuka bellowed as she hid her eyes behind her hands.
"That wasn't the idea at all. It's not like I was suggesting a bath or
something." Shinji blushed suddenly at the thought of Asuka bathing. "I
just don't want to be in this plugsuit anymore. Now, could you please turn
around so I can change my clothes?" Shinji asked as he turned his back to
Asuka, who was slowly removing her hands from her eyes.
"Are you suggesting that I would look at you . . . " Asuka stopped and
turned around quickly as she noticed Shinji removing the plugsuit he was
wearing. She had a red face and was muttering various German curses meant
for Shinji.
"There, you can turn around now," said Shinji as he finished putting his
shoes on.
"Why, so you can flash me?" a flustered Asuka barked.
"Oh, you're probably afraid that you'd like what you'd see," Shinji
deadpanned. [I flipped the confidence switch for him again. God, I love
seeing Asuka squirm.]
"Oh, yeah. Like a scrawny boy like you would have anything to impress me,"
Asuka said as she whirled around to see Shinji, fully clothed and smiling.
"Uh, hello," Shinji said timidly. [I turned the switch off, for now. I
can't make him be confident all the time, or he wouldn't be Shinji.]
"You jerk!" Asuka screamed, "I'll kill you, Ikari!"
"Now, Asuka," Shinji pleaded as he backed into a locker, "please don't do
anything rash. I was only joking around." [Maybe I went a little too far.]
Shinji then began to assume a fetal position from inside a locker.
"Oh, Shinji?" Asuka purred as she approached Shinji's position.
"Y-y-yes?"
"Never mind. I guess I should change now," she said as seductively as she
could without giving poor Shinji a massive nosebleed. "I guess I shouldn't
have to worry about you seeing me naked. After all, you never know when we
might have to take a sync test in the nude." [If she only knew how true
that statement really was . . .]
"H-h-huh?" squeaked Shinji. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was
she actually allowing Shinji to see her naked? He deliberated with himself
for a while before deciding that he should be a gentleman and not look.
[Good Shinji]
Asuka, however, had planned on Shinji to not be a gentleman. As such, she
teased him a little more. "It's just a shame that you stayed decent," the
fiendish redhead pouted while rustling her clothes. "Because I really
wanted to see your cute little butt again."
(Shinji) [I mustn't run away. What am I talking about? There's nowhere to
run to! I mustn't submit. Like I have a choice! It's a matter of
survival: look and die, or don't and pray that you live. Wait a minute.
Did she say I had a cute butt? Is she really interested in me? Nah! It's
a trap. But what if it isn't? Oh, I don't know what to do . . .]
By this time, Asuka had closed the door of the locker that Shinji crawled
into. She was congratulating herself for royally messing with the young
man's head. "That's what you get for messing with the Great Asuka Langley
Sohryu," she whispered into the door.
Of course, Shinji wasn't paying attention to the fact that someone had
indeed come in to unlock the locker room door. He was too engrossed in his
present train of thought to notice Asuka close the locker door and leave
the room, now dressed in her yellow sundress. He didn't notice until the
door closed again.
"It's unlocked? I'm free! OW! Hey! Asuka!" Shinji yelled as he stumbled
out of the locker. "Is anyone in here? No? Good." And with that, he
left the locker room. Both Shinji and I thanked whatever gods Asuka didn't
lock the door as she left.
After searching for about an hour, Shinji got to the mess just in time for
dinner. He was ecstatic that he found Misato, as he had some business to
talk to her about.
"Shinji!" the purple haired guardian cried, "Thank God! I thought Asuka
had killed you!"
"I was close, Misato," Shinji said in relief. "I was real damn close to
being dead."
"What happened? We lost you around the flight deck and couldn't locate
you."
"Asuka chased me into the locker room," began Shinji. "I got my clothes
back, and I gave her dress back. Unfortunately, she locked me in the
locker room." [We just aren't going to mention to Misato that Asuka was
locked in there too.]
"So that explains it. I was worried that she threw a locker at you or
something. You have to be more careful around her; she can be mean when
she wants to be," Misato said ominously.
"Thanks for the warning, Misato," Shinji said before getting to the heart
of the matter. "Oh, yeah. I needed to talk to you about something."
"Sure, Shinji, what is it?"
"Can I get a paycheck for this gig?"
To Be Continued
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Author's notes: I don't know how this chapter got this big. I had a basic
idea for the chapter, but all these great ideas for some kind of plot
development just appeared out of nowhere. I'm just afraid of how long the
later chapters will be. As for Kyoko, I figured that since Unit 02 didn't
have a megalomaniac talk to it on a regular basis about some master plan,
Kyoko wouldn't know what's been going on. I don't think it helped that EVA
didn't take all of Kyoko. I figured that I should include the souls of
each EVA for various reasons. It will all become clear with the passing of
time, or of a few more Angels. I just hope you like it. Please read and
review. I'll have another chapter, when I have another chapter. See ya.
point, no money.
[This is thought]
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This Way To Happiness
Chapter One: Across The Fiery Ocean
By FinalMax
A Richter Scale Production
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
*Shinji and Misato's Apartment: Early Morning*
I woke Shinji up around 7:00, I think. He wasn't ready to get up yet, but
I finally managed to convince him to get out of bed. All it took was for
me to say that I thought I heard Misato start on breakfast. Of course, it
wasn't true, but it worked. Since we share the same body, we went to the
bathroom. I figured that we should be clean for our trip today, and I
wondered what I've got to work with here. Good, we have ten fingers, ten
toes, five appendages, two eyes, good teeth, and a little bit of fuzz for a
moustache. Huh, they didn't mention that in the series. It's not really a
moustache, but it's a start. Shinji's build isn't really muscular, per se,
but not really scrawny either. Actually, with a little bit of work, he
could be quite the heartbreaker at school and at work.
When Shinji was done in the bathroom, we headed for the kitchen to start on
breakfast. I was still wondering how I managed to stay for this long.
[What the hell is going on around here? I've never stayed this long in
someone's head. Maybe, it's because I've only visited minds of people from
my own universe before now. I'm going to need some more time to figure
this out. Ah well, I might as well enjoy this turn of events. After all,
I did promise to help out Shinji. I can probably help influence a few
things for Shinji, but I honestly can't change everything around here. Oh,
shit. I didn't think about what effect my presence is going to have on
Shinji's piloting. I've got to tell him; he deserves to know.] I decided
to talk to him then, since Shinji was frying some eggs.
Me: "Hey, Shinji. I've got something to talk to you about."
Shinji: "What is it, Kurt?"
Me: "I know I promised to help you, but I'm afraid that I can't
always help you. There are going to be challenges that you will have
to face alone. I can give you advice, I can root for you, but I can't
fight all your battles for you. I'm also afraid of what will happen
when you pilot an EVA, since I'm in your head. NERV may want to kill
you if they find me."
Shinji: "I see what you mean. I don't really want to pilot EVA,
and I don't really want to die either. Maybe we should make a run for
it, OK?" [Although I don't want to run either.]
Me: "No, Shinji. We can't run from them. I could see if I can hide
during the test. Maybe I could rummage in your memories while you're
trying to sync with Unit 01. One of the things I'm going to help you
with is your courage. I know you have it. I saw it when you first
piloted your EVA. It takes real courage to stand up to protect even
one person. I'm not going to let you throw that kind of courage away.
Let's just get ready for today. We'll worry about EVA when the next
test comes. For now, we'll just live for the moment." [Please, let
this work.]
Shinji: "Alright, Kurt. We'll do things your way. To be honest,
I'm glad you convinced me to stay. I didn't want to leave my friends
behind. I just want to live with them in peace."
Me: "Good, I'm glad it worked. Now, let's finish getting breakfast
ready."
As we finished our mental discourse, Pen-Pen waddled into the kitchen for
his breakfast. Shinji jumped when Pen-Pen pecked at his ankle. God, that
was funny. Shinji had to introduce me to everyone's favorite warm water
penguin. Shinji gave Pen-Pen some sardines and a can of beer before
returning to breakfast.
Misato crawled out of bed at 7:45. I can't really say that she was awake
yet. At first glance, Misato looked like a zombie. Slowly, she dragged
her feet to the fridge, got her first beer of the morning, and took a long
pull from the can. Immediately, her body seemed to come to life. I was
honestly tempted to cry out, "She's alive! Alive!!" She looked a hell of
a lot better now. Her purple hair, although messy, seemed to flow down her
shoulders like water. Her normal morning wear left little to the
imagination. I'd say that her measurements are 40-26-36, E cup. Of
course, I can't be too sure.
Now that she awoke, Shinji and I gave her breakfast. She rewarded Shinji's
kindness with a warm, tender smile and a bear hug. Well, at least I can
say that she has one hell of a grip. After she let go of Shinji's body
(and, consequentially, my body), Misato teased Shinji of trying to look
good for the Second Child when we'd pick her up today.
Shinji mentally pointed out that, although she's his guardian, he feels
like he's taking care of her. I had to have a discussion with him about
that.
Me: "Yo, Shinji."
Shinji: "What's up?"
Me: "Misato seems pretty nice."
Shinji: "Yeah, she is sort of nice. I don't know."
Me: "Shinji, my friend, you have a lot to learn about others. Do
you remember when I told you that I'm an empath?"
Shinji: "Yeah. What about it, Kurt?"
Me: "Well, I can see what other people feel. I can see into the
core of their being, into the part that they hide from everyone, even
themselves. I can tell you what they feel about you. I can't tell
you how everyone you've ever met feels for you, as many of them are
still trying to sort those feelings. I can, however, tell you how
people you are close to feel. I can tell you what Misato feels for
you right now, if you like."
Shinji: "Really? Well, I would like to know how she feels. I
couldn't figure it out after I ran away; her feelings seemed to change
a bit. Would you tell me, please?"
Me: "Sure. First, I need you to look in Misato's eyes. That should
make it easier for me."
Shinji gently tilted Misato's head so we could look in her eyes. I could
see tears forming in her eyes from Shinji's touch. Her smile was almost as
bright as the sun. After a couple seconds, I was able to tell him.
"Shinji, in her heart, you are the son she never had. You are her hope for
the future. She is torn between motherly love and duty. She deeply
regrets that you have to fight, but she can't imagine the world in any
other way. This is because she'd have to imagine a life without you in it.
Yes, she wishes that everything and nothing would change. She'd do
anything for you, but can't do the one thing she knows would make you
happy. She would bear all your pain if you let her. I think that it would
be best if you opened up to her. You need her, and she needs you. [They
need each other more than they know] Shinji, give her a hug. It sounds
lame, but it would make her happier than she's been in a long time."
Shinji slowly walked beside Misato, knelt down, and wrapped his arms around
his guardian. Misato tensed at the gentle embrace for a second, surprised
at her young ward's sudden show of affection. After she recovered from the
shock, she wrapped her right arm around Shinji's neck and pulled him into
an even bigger bear hug, smiling as she did so. "Shinji," Misato said with
joyful tears in her eyes, "you've made me happy. I've been so worried
about you. I was afraid that you'd stay in your shell. You're always so
quiet, and I never know how you feel about me."
Slowly, Pen-Pen strode over and pulled on Misato's shirt a little. Misato
and Shinji looked at the penguin and guessed that he felt left out, so each
of them released an arm and invited the feathered member of this
interesting family into the hug. After a minute more of this group hug,
they left each other's arms and continued with breakfast. No words needed
to be spoken at this point; there wasn't any need. Breakfast and the
breakfast dishes were done within fifteen minutes. As Shinji was getting
everything cleaned up, he decided to have a conversation with me.
Shinji: "Hey, Kurt."
Me: "I know, Shinji. You're welcome. Let's get ready; I can
already sense your friends approaching. They seem excited today."
Shinji: "Yeah. They're probably drooling over Misato, although
Kensuke is probably excited to go see Unit 02 or some kind of military
toys."
(Ding-Dong!)
Shinji: "That's them now, I'll bet. Kurt?"
Me: "What is it, Shinji?"
Shinji: "I don't think I need you to tell me how they feel. I already
know."
Me: "That's good to know, Shinji. Let's go, bud."
Then Shinji went to answer the door. Touji and Kensuke were at the door,
drooling at Misato, who happened to be standing behind Shinji. When the
two Stooges got their tongues back in their skulls, Misato, Touji, Kensuke,
and Shinji left for the helicopter that would take them to the "Over the
Rainbow" and Unit 02.
*The "Over The Rainbow"*
As the chopper hovered above the "Over the Rainbow," Kensuke was rambling
on about the history of the carrier, its capacity, and other tidbits of
useless military information. Touji was taking a nap until his own snoring
woke him up. Misato was asking all of us if we thought this was fun; most
of us grunted an affirmative. Shinji and I were having a nice internal
discussion about some very important things.
Me: " . . . So let me get this straight: you save the world, go to
school, are used as a guinea pig for god-knows-how-many experiments,
and you don't get paid?"
Shinji: "That's right. They didn't even give Misato a raise when
she became my guardian. I don't really spend much. It's not like I
need it, anyways."
Me: "And why is that?"
Shinji: "I'd get money from my father every year for my birthday.
I've bought very little with it, just my cello, a jacket, some
clothes, my SDAT, and some tapes for it. I put the rest in a bank
account."
Me: "Well that's good, but you still aren't getting paid. You save
the world for a living, for crying out loud! You deserve a paycheck,
not to mention hazard pay!"
Shinji: "You know what? You've got a point. Rei and I should be
getting paid. I'm going to take it up with NERV when we get back."
As we got out of the chopper, the wind generated by the helicopter blades
made Touji's hat fly away from him. He kept chasing it, calling out to
anyone to catch his hat. It was funny to see him run the entire width of
the carrier twice. I didn't think a hat could be that slippery.
Suddenly, a foot stopped the hat's rampage. Shinji's eyes followed the leg
attached to the foot and the body with it, stopping at a girl's face. Her
auburn hair flowed as if it were made of fire, topped with her trademark A-
10 neural interfaces. Her sapphire eyes sparkled in the sun. Her skin was
cream colored, not too pale, and not too tan. Her figure was accented by
her yellow sundress. Shinji and I both had the same thought in our
collective head: [Damn, she's gorgeous.] So this is Asuka. I can't
believe she's a fourteen year old. At the time, neither the three stooges
nor myself could produce a coherent thought.
That changed after the wind blew Asuka's dress up, giving all of us guys a
good look at her underwear, or lack thereof. I knew what would happen
next, so I just went with it. (SMACK!) I felt the imprint of a hand on
Shinji's (and mine) face.
"Ow!" Touji said, "What the hell was that for."
"That was the viewing fee," Asuka stated.
Shinji and I thought it was a very reasonable rate. Hell, it's probably
cheap. Unfortunately, Touji didn't think so, the idiot. He did something
that we would all regret. "I think it's a little much. Here's your
change!" Touji said before he dropped trow in front of Asuka. He deserved
to get hit, but he didn't need to get kicked in the nuts! That's just too
low.
"So where's the Third Child?" Asuka asked, glancing at the prone form of
Touji. "Don't tell me that he's that pervert over there."
"Don't worry, Asuka," Misato said, pointing at Shinji. "Shinji over here
is the Third Child."
(To Shinji) [Go ahead. Introduce yourself. Try to make a good
impression.]
"H-h-hi. I-I'm . . ." Shinji began to mumble.
(To Myself) [Geez, I'm going to have to do something for him. Now I know I
saw a confidence switch in here somewhere, so where is it? Ah, there it
is. It's right above the meekness board. No wonder he hasn't found it.
We'll just flip that switch and . . . there! That should help. Maybe I
should read the owner's manual.]
"Hello," Shinji said smoothly. "I'm Shinji. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Then he took her hand in his and kissed it ever so gently. [Where'd this
confidence come from?]
"Whatever," Asuka said rather coldly, although the blush on her cheeks told
a different story. After collecting her thoughts for a second, she added,
"At least you know how to introduce yourself properly to a lady like me. I
am, after all . . . Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Shinji and I turned our head to see
what was so funny.
As this interesting introduction took place, one could spot three jaws fall
through the deck of the "Over the Rainbow." The shocked look on Misato's,
Touji's, and Kensuke's faces was absolutely hilarious. Their faces were
bleach white, their eyes were practically popping out of their skulls, and
they had the largest collective sweatdrop ever recorded. Shinji and Asuka
were laughing their asses off simply from looking at their companions. In
the distance, however, we heard a distinctively male voice say, "So you're
the Third."
At the sound of the new voice, Misato seemed to immediately break out of
her trance. Both Shinji and Misato looked in the direction of the voice,
and they found an unshaven man, wearing loose, casual clothing. "Kaji!!"
squealed Asuka, as she attached herself to his arm. Meanwhile, Misato shot
Kaji one of her death glares.
Kaji was slightly taller than the average man, about 5'11", by my estimate.
He had this laid-back attitude that can just attract people to him. That
would definitely explain the swarm of women with "I Love You, Kaji" signs
about fifty yards back. I could tell that Misato and him have some kind of
history between them. Shinji might want to know a little about this.
Me: "Hey, Shinji. Yo! Shinji! Stop drooling over Asuka and pay
attention!"
Shinji: "Huh, uh, what? Hey, I'm not drooling! What do you want now,
Kurt?"
Me: "I noticed something as Misato and Kaji looked at each other.
They may have some kind of history between them."
Shinji: "What kind of history?"
Me: "The romantic kind, of course. I sense a longing from Kaji
towards Misato. What's even more interesting is that I sense the same
from Misato, mingled with some regret. You may want to talk to her
later about it, okay?"
Shinji: "Okay, thanks. I'll talk to her about it when we get
home. Oh, and do you know what made me so confident all of a sudden?"
Me: "Yeah, uh, about that . . . "
Shinji: "Well?"
Me: "I just hit the confidence switch in your head."
Shinji: "You can do that? Why?"
Me: "You said you wanted to make a good impression with Asuka,
didn't you?"
Shinji: "Well, yeah."
Me: "Well, there you go. Don't worry about thanking me; I'm just
doing what I said I'd do for you. Now, go catch up with everyone.
They're heading for the mess hall."
The others were about to turn a corner when Shinji finally caught up with
them. Touji and Kensuke teased Shinji a little about his earlier actions
with Asuka. I chuckled as Shinji began to turn several shades of red, at
some point matching Asuka's hair. Asuka noticed too, and she started in on
the other two stooges, especially Touji. This was fine by Shinji, since
Touji teased him the most that day. Within a few minutes, the group was in
the mess. They found a free table and sat down to have a (quiet?) talk.
"So, Shinji," Kaji inquired, "is Misato still wild in bed?"
"W-W-What!?!" Misato and just about everyone else at the table shouted.
"Ha, ha, ha!" Kaji laughed. "Don't worry, I wasn't serious. I just wanted
to see your reactions. Now, Shinji, seriously, how was she?"
"I-I-I have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Kaji," Shinji answered.
"How dare you think that I'd stoop that low, Kaji!" Misato fumed. "I'll
have you know that my Shinji is a perfect gentleman. Besides, I'm almost
old enough to be his mother."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me, at least, not outside the bedroom,"
Kaji retorted.
At this point, Misato was too flustered to make any rational response. So
she stormed off to the bridge. Shinji was also too embarrassed to say
anything. Fortunately for Shinji, Asuka decided to drag him out of the
mess before Touji and Kensuke could taunt him any more. She dragged Shinji
over to where Unit 02 was being stored, and started to rant about how great
her EVA is to his and all that nice nine yards worth of bullshit.
Thankfully, she finished before poor Shinji fell asleep. The two pilots
rushed to the deck as they heard a shrill alarm. There was only one thing
that could cause this much trouble for a whole goddamn fleet, an Angel.
Quickly, Asuka dragged Shinji to a stairwell and told him to stay put and
not peek. She then went down one set of stairs and swiftly changed into a
red plugsuit. Shinji took a brief glance in Asuka's direction to see if
she was okay. [Alright, he took a little peek, but I don't blame him. He
is one of us guys, you know.] After she finished changing, Asuka gave
Shinji a plugsuit and told him to go change.
"Don't peek," Shinji said.
"Yeah, right. Like I'm going to peek at a scrawny little boy," Asuka
puffed.
While Shinji was changing, Asuka did peek at him. [I noticed from the
corner of Shinji's left eye, since he was a little too busy with the
plugsuit.] She laughed uncontrollably when Shinji emerged, wearing a
women's plugsuit. He was absolutely embarrassed, and the damn plugsuit
left one hellacious wedgie. [Poor Shinji, I feel for you, buddy.]
After Asuka was done laughing at my host, she dragged a confused and
frustrated Shinji to Unit 02's entry plug. Shinji asked the red headed
beauty what we were going to do. "We're going to fight the Angel,
Dummkopf," Asuka declared. In a matter of moments, Shinji was sitting
behind Asuka Langley Sohryu in her EVA. She didn't know that his thoughts
would interrupt with Unit 02's startup sequence until the screen flashed
'ERROR' in German. She quickly switched it to Japanese after calling
Shinji an idiot. It was when the startup sequence was completed when I
felt a little strange.
Me: "Shinji."
Shinji: "Well, Kurt, it seems it's alright for you to be in my
head when an EVA is starting up. I'm glad that concern has been
settled."
Me: "That's not what I called out to you for. I'm picking up a
strange vibe in here."
Shinji: "What do you mean? I don't feel anymore different than
when I'm in EVA."
Me: "I sense three minds other than my own. I sense yours, I can
sense Asuka more clearly than before, and I sense another presence in
here. I'm not too sure what this means. I'm having a bit of trouble
separating the minds of you, Asuka, and the third mind. I've been
concentrating a lot just to talk to you."
Shinji: "Do you think the Angel has already infected the EVA?"
Me: "No, this third mind is definitely human. I can sense the Angel
from a distance, and it's not the same."
Asuka: [Now's my chance, now I can prove that I'm better than
this Third Child, Shinji Ikari. All I've got to do is beat this Angel
and . . .]
Me: "Huh?"
Shinji: "What is it?"
Me: "That's strange. I just picked up Asuka's thoughts as clearly
as I did yours. Maybe it's the entry plug and the LCL that's doing
this."
Shinji: "Maybe you're right. I just wonder whom the third mind
you sensed belongs to. Is he or she on our side?"
Me: "I'm not sure, Shinji. I think I have a little more mobility
around here, so I'll try to investigate. I might be able to freely
move from person to person now, but I want you to concentrate on the
battle. Trust me when I say that Asuka may need your help."
Shinji: "Okay, I'll do it. Good luck and be careful."
Me: "Okay, bye."
*Within the mindscape of EVA Unit 02*
And so, I went into the mindscape of the EVA. I was able to reach Asuka's
mind before I felt something pulling me into some kind of void. I would
have called out to Shinji, but I didn't know if he'd get pulled in too. As
my descent in the mindscape of EVA continued, I heard a strange, but
definitely female, voice.
????: "Who are you?"
Me: "I should be asking the same thing, don't you think?"
????: "I say again, 'Who are you?'"
Me: "I am Kurt. May I ask who you are?"
????: "I am Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu. What are you doing here?"
Me: "I'm just visiting. I was just looking around . . . Wait a
minute. You said 'Sohryu,' right? By any chance, are you related to
an Asuka Langley Sohryu?"
Kyoko: "Yes, I am her mother. Do you know her? How has she been
doing? Is she alright?"
Me: "Don't worry, she's alright. She's in the entry plug of Unit 02
right now, preparing to fight an Angel."
Kyoko: "So, she's been chosen to pilot. But she's so young. The
Angels shouldn't be attacking until . . . just what year is it
anyway?"
Me: "It's 2015, Mrs. Sohryu."
Kyoko: "But I was in an experiment with Unit 02 a couple days ago."
Me: "Madam, I hate to bear bad news, but you've been dead for about
a decade. You committed suicide. Your daughter's fourteen, now."
Kyoko: "No! It just isn't possible. I could never do that; I love
Asuka too much to do that, even if I wanted to."
Me: "I might have an explanation, but I need to ask a question for
you first. What exactly was this experiment you were in?"
Kyoko: "After the unfortunate accident with Yui Ikari and Unit 01, we
decided to use a system similar to the experimental Magi computer
system AI. It was basically a personality and thought process
emulator. I had to sync with Unit 02, while a computer recorded my
brain wave patterns for imprinting. Oh, no!"
Me: "Yes, I'm afraid. The information you just gave me confirmed a
hypothesis. Like the accident with Unit 01, your encounter with Unit
02 tore your mind from your body. You see, after your experiment, you
were put in the hospital for a nervous breakdown. You even started
calling a red-haired doll 'Asuka' and kept asking it if she wanted to
go to heaven with you. Then, on the day the real Asuka was chosen to
be the pilot of Unit 02, your daughter walked in to see you and the
doll hanging from the ceiling."
Kyoko: "Oh my god. What have I done to my poor Asuka?"
Me: "It didn't get much better after that. Your husband got
remarried not long after your death, and your daughter started
shutting everyone out of her life. She's been living only to pilot
since that day, after she promised to never need anyone ever again.
I'm so sorry that I had to be the one to inform you about this."
Kyoko: "Oh, my dear Asuka. I didn't know. I just didn't know."
At this point, Kyoko Sohryu broke down and cried. I don't like to see
women suffer, so I gently held her and gave her a proverbial shoulder to
cry on. I didn't know what to do or how to get back. I did know what was
going on outside, but I wasn't sure how far into the battle Shinji and
Asuka were in.
Me: "Kyoko, I need you to do something for me."
Kyoko: "What?"
Me: "I need to see the fight outside. Whether you like it or not,
you now inhabit Unit 02. You can make it move, see through its eyes,
and protect your daughter. I'm going to suggest some things so just
do what I say, okay?"
Kyoko: "Okay, I'll try."
Me: "Good. Now focus on a looking glass. Imagine seeing the
outside world through it. Try to reach out to your daughter's mind if
you must. Extend yourself as far as your mind will go."
Kyoko: "I think I'm getting something. Yes! Look! We have our
looking glass! I can see it . . . "
*Meanwhile, at the battle*
Unit 02 leaps from ship to ship until it reaches the carrier, where its
primary power was set up. As it leaps onto the carrier, the tarp that
acted as a cape was thrown away, revealing the red knight known as EVA. As
it lands, however, one of the two pilots inside the entry plug falls out of
his place.
Shinji: [Damn it! I fell off the pilot's chair. That's what I
get for sitting behind one of the bossiest people I've ever met.
Where is this Angel, anyway? I can't see it anywhere. Wait, we're on
the ocean; it's underwater, isn't it? Damn my bad luck. That's the
last time I let someone convince me to ride sidesaddle in an entry
plug. I just hope this crazy bitch doesn't get us killed.]
Asuka: [Ha! That idiot Shinji just fell off his seat. I knew
there wasn't anything special about the Third Child. It was probably
a fluke that he could pilot his EVA without training. I mean, who
gets a 40% sync ratio on their first try. I bet they had him train
for months after he screwed up. At least I know my EVA doesn't have a
mind of its own; it will do whatever I say. Now, where is that Angel?
I want to kill it as soon as possible so I can show up the idiot over
there. (to her right) Duh, it's probably underwater because it's
scared of my Unit 02 and me.]
"Asuka," Shinji calmly stated, "we shouldn't try to dive in after it.
After all, the B-type equipment wasn't exactly designed for underwater
combat."
"Just because it wasn't designed for it doesn't mean it can't do it," Asuka
retorted. [Well, it doesn't. Okay, Angel, here comes the Great Asuka
Langley Sohryu!]
Asuka, in all her arrogance, willed Unit 02 to dive in after the Angel.
After she caught up with it, Asuka found out very fast that the EVA
couldn't fight efficiently underwater using only the B-type equipment. All
the EVA could do was sink slowly to the Angel's mouth.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Third Child?" Asuka screamed, "Are you
going to help me or what?" [I swear, if he makes one smart-ass remark . .
.]
"What do you want me to do, Asuka?" the timid hero asked. [I have no damn
clue what to do here. This isn't like the time I had Kensuke and Touji in
my entry plug. For one thing, I'm the passenger, and it's her EVA.]
"If I had an idea, wouldn't I have already told you what to do, Shinji?"
[God, this boy is dense. You'd think he'd have that much common sense.]
"Well, move back a bit. I can't grip the controls correctly if I'm not in
the seat. We'll figure it out after that, okay?" [I'm lying. I've never
tried piloting EVA in another position, and I don't think it will matter
anyway. I just don't want to be bounced around the entry plug anymore.]
After Asuka moved back a bit, Shinji scooted into his temporary seat. He
blushed a little as Asuka leaned into him to reach her controls. [This
isn't the time to think like that!] He leaned forward a bit to let her
reach them a little better. As Asuka gripped the butterfly controls, her
and Shinji were surprised to hear Misato informing them of her plan to
defeat the Angel. Unit 02 was to open the aquatic Angel's mouth and hold
it, while two battleships sink to the same depth. There, the ships would
fire directly into the Angel's Core, thus killing the monster.
The two pilots slowly shook their heads simultaneously as they considered
the absurdity of her plan. (Both) [It's a great plan, but there's one
problem. The EVA can't swim, let alone open an Angel's mouth underwater!
We're going to need a miracle to pull this off.]
*Meanwhile, back in the mindscape*
Kyoko: "Who's that boy in there with my Asuka?"
Me: "That's my friend and how I got here, Shinji Ikari, the son of Yui
Ikari."
Kyoko: "You mean he was chosen too? Which unit does he pilot? Why is he
here?"
Me: "Wait a minute. Let me explain. Yes, he was chosen. He has
been designated as the Third Child. He pilots EVA Unit 01. He came
here with the director of field operations to pick up Unit 02 and your
daughter. Right now, he's fighting an Angel. He doesn't like to
pilot, because he feels that his father is using him."
Kyoko: "Why is that?"
Me: "Gendo, Shinji's father, left his son shortly after Yui died.
For about a decade, Shinji has been living with his teacher. Not too
long ago, Shinji got a letter from his father saying that he wanted to
talk to Shinji. The day Shinji arrived in Tokyo-3 to meet with his
father was the very day the Third Angel attacked the Geofront.
Misato, the director of field operations, picked him up and took him
to NERV HQ. There, Shinji encountered his father and asked him, 'Why
did you send for me?' His father told him that he had a use for
Shinji."
Kyoko: "That's terrible."
Me: "That's not the end of it. Shinji refused to pilot the EVA.
Gendo decided that if his son wouldn't pilot Unit 01, then he'd have
the First Child, Rei Ayanami, do it instead. When Rei entered the
room where Unit 01 was kept, Shinji was absolutely shocked. Rei was
severely injured from an earlier accident with Unit 00. As Shinji
looked down at the stretcher Rei lay upon, a blast from the Angel
shook the compound. Shinji would've been crushed by debris, if Unit
01 hadn't raised its arm to block it. It shocked everyone in the
room, since they didn't think EVA would activate without the entry
plug. He rushed over to the overturned stretcher to check on Rei. As
he held the fragile female pilot, she gave a soft cry, and Shinji
noticed the blood now on his hands. He decided there to pilot Unit
01, despite having no prior training, since he felt that Rei would die
if she went out in the EVA. He's continued to fight because they tell
him to. He had a chance to run away after the Fourth Angel, but he's
stayed. I think he really pilots so no one else would suffer the pain
of the EVA."
Kyoko: "I had no idea that Gendo would be so cold. I knew how much
Yui meant to him, but I never imagined that he'd turn his back on his
son only to use him later. That's so disgusting. I know Yui wouldn't
have approved of this."
Me: "That makes two of us, but that's all in the past. What matters
right now is that your daughter and my friend are in trouble. Right
now, we are all in the EVA. They may have trouble fighting
underwater. We have to find a way to help them. Do you have any
ideas?"
Kyoko: "I might have one, but it would require something that might be
impossible."
Me: "What is it?"
Kyoko: "We might be able to give the EVA a burst of strength to open
the Angel's jaw so the battleships can attack the Core. The only
thing is that we need an extremely high sync ratio to help, and with
two pilots in there, it would mean that both of them must think on the
same wavelength for it to work. I don't know your friend well enough
to trust him to be concentrated on fighting the Angel. After all, my
daughter has grown to be a lovely young woman."
Me: "Don't worry. I've looked through his memories, and he is a
perfect gentleman. He has been in more . . . compromising positions,
and he has maintained his composure where lesser men fail. Besides,
this is a life-or-death situation. He'll get the job done; he just
needs to get over his embarrassment first."
Kyoko: "Ha, ha, ha. I'll take your word for it. I just hope it'll
work. I just wonder what I can do for them."
Me: "Maybe, since we're also in the EVA, we should try to encourage
it. Maybe we should chant 'Open' over and over until the EVA opens
the Angel's mouth."
Kyoko: "It sounds too simple, but it's better than nothing."
Me: [It's up to you two now, Asuka and Shinji. The world can't
afford to lose you two, not now, not ever. Those two are more
important than they may think. Besides, I don't know what will happen
if my host dies. I know they'll succeed, but I just can't help but
worry. Now, how do I get back in Shinji's head? I didn't exactly see
any road signs or anything . . .] (This was while Kyoko and me were
chanting)
*Back in the fray*
As the battleships were approaching their destination, Unit 02 and its two
pilots were having some problems. The Angel ate the progressive knife, and
the EVA was a little waterlogged. On top of that, the EVA was having
little progress opening the Angel's mouth.
(Asuka) [Damn it, why does this shit always happen to me? First, my
laundry wasn't done, and then those Stooges got a free look up my dress,
and now this! Why did I drag that Shinji into my EVA? He's breaking my
concentration. Forget him! I need to concentrate. Open up you son of a
bitch! You hear me? Open, open, open, open . . .]
(Shinji) [Why me? Why do I always end up in these situations? First, I
embarrass myself at Misato's on my first night living there. Then there's
the incident from when I delivered Rei's new passcard, and now I've got a
beautiful girl leaning forwards on my back. As if I needed more pressure,
she has to press her chest against my back. I swear she's doing this to me
deliberately. (Mentally slaps himself) I've got more important things to
worry about now. I've got this damned Angel to deal with. Open your
damned mouth! Open up! Open! Please open? Open, open . . .]
Asuka & Shinji: [Open!]
Kyoko & me: [Open!]
Suddenly, as our thoughts converged, a surge of power went shooting up the
arms of EVA Unit 02, opening the mouth of the giant, fishy Angel. Just
then, the ships arrived and fired into the behemoth's Core.
All minds present in EVA: [Run like hell!]
As this thought crossed all our heads, physical or metaphysical, the EVA
kicked off the Angel of fishes and launched itself just as it blew up.
Thankfully, we were able to ride the shockwave to the surface and land on
the deck of the "Over the Rainbow."
"I really should be getting paid for doing this," Shinji exhaled. "I've
been doing this way too much without hazard pay."
Asuka just looked at Shinji with a quizzical look and sighed, "Me too."
*In the mindscape*
Me: "Whew, that was close."
Kyoko: "You're telling me. I can't believe it worked. How do you
think the children are doing right now? I wonder if I can speak to my
daughter?"
Me: "I think they're alright, but I wouldn't recommend trying to
contact Asuka right now, if I were you. Think about it; you've been
dead for the better part of a decade. If you were to contact her now,
she might have a nervous breakdown."
Kyoko: "I guess you're right. If I spoke with her right now, it would
be too painful for both of us. I guess I can figure out how to
control EVA from in here. I may have to keep her safe, just like Yui
did for Shinji."
Me: (Surprised) "How'd you figure it out?"
Kyoko: "Two things you said brought me to that conclusion. First, you
said that, like Yui, EVA must have torn my soul out. The second clue
came when you said that Unit 01 protected Shinji from falling debris
without anyone piloting it. I just figured that Yui was trapped in
Unit 01 and learned how to take some control of it. Now I have to
figure it out for myself."
Me: "Good. Well, I hope you succeed. I've got to leave now."
Kyoko: "Will I speak with you again? It's been so lonely in here, and
I can't even speak with my daughter. Please, tell me you will come
back."
Me: "Mrs. Sohryu, Kyoko, I can't say if I'll speak with you again.
I can promise that I'll try. As for when you can speak with Asuka,
just be patient. Either she will open up to EVA enough for you to
speak with her, or you will have to act for her safety. If I can
figure out how I was able to meet you in the first place, I will
return and tell you how life has been for her outside of EVA. For
now, just prepare to protect your precious child. I'll see what I can
do for her, same as I promised to do for Shinji."
Kyoko: "Thank you, Kurt. I hope we meet again. Farewell, Kurt."
Me: "Until we meet again, Kyoko."
And then, I focused on Shinji's mind, on his memories and feelings. I felt
myself rise from where I was. I waved at Kyoko as I ascended to Shinji's
mind. [Maybe I will be able to meet her again. If I can return from the
EVA to Shinji by simply focusing on his mind, then I might be able to
travel to other minds in the same way.] As the presence of Shinji's mind
grew stronger, the world around me seemed to grow brighter. [Yes, I must
return to Kyoko again. She's been stuck in that dark place by herself for
too long. That's no way for anyone to live.]
*Back on the "Over the Rainbow"*
Me: "Hey, Shinji?"
Shinji: "Hey, Kurt. What happened?"
Me: "You aren't going to believe this. There's a human soul stuck
in the Evangelion. Asuka's EVA has the soul of someone close to her.
I can't tell you more, but I promised her that we'd help Asuka."
Shinji: "What? I can't believe you agreed to without asking me .
. .. Wait a minute. Her? (Teasingly) Did you find yourself a
girlfriend in there?"
Me: "NO I DID NOT! She's already married, and that's against my
beliefs to go for women who are already spoken for. Now, don't tease
me about it, or I'll hit your mute switch. And don't even think that
it doesn't exist, or you'll find out the hard way!"
Shinji: "Okay, okay, I'll quit teasing you. So, what do we do?"
Me: "Well, for now, you should try to be a friend for her. Be kind,
be polite, endure her taunts and assaults, and make her feel welcome.
In short, just be yourself."
Shinji: "That's it? Well, that seems easy enough."
Me: "That's the spirit! Now, let's get you out of that damn red
plugsuit before . . . "
(FLASH) Kensuke had just taken a picture of Shinji wearing that damn
plugsuit Asuka gave him. Shinji just stood as his friends and his guardian
laughed at him, his face as red as the plugsuit. [Poor Shinji, I'm sorry I
didn't show up earlier. I sympathize with you. Oh well, I'd better help
him salvage the rest of this trip.]
Me: "Too late. Just get out of the plugsuit, get clean, and go talk
to Misato about what we talked about earlier today."
Shinji ran from his friends and over to where he left his clothes, which
were conveniently missing. [Only one person could cause this much trouble,
Asuka.]
"What's wrong, Shinji?" Asuka asked with an overly sweet voice. "Did you
lose something?"
Shinji: "Can I get back at her, just this once?"
Me: "Oh, yeah. I'm all for fun and games, but that's just low. Shinji,
attack!"
"No, Asuka," Shinji replied in an eerily calm voice. "I just found
something." He slowly rose to his feet, holding Asuka's yellow sundress.
[Hey, I pressed his confidence switch. Asuka deserves it for this stunt.]
"Shinji Ikari, you better give me that dress back. Just because I hid your
clothes in my locker . . . oops," Asuka gasped, realizing her mistake. Not
only did she just admit to pulling a prank on the Third Child, she just
revealed the location of Shinji's clothes.
"I don't know, Asuka," Shinji spoke, "I think I'll hold on to this until I
get my clothes back. I might consider returning your dress if you lead me
to your locker, and don't try anything funny. I'll know if you try
something."
"Oooh, Shinji, I'm going to kill you!" Asuka screamed as she began to chase
Shinji around the carrier. "I can't wait until I get my hands on you.
You're gonna . . . "
"I didn't know you wanted me that bad, Asuka! Maybe we should slow down.
After all, we just met!" Shinji laughed as he ducked, dodged and faked out
Asuka.
Meanwhile, Misato and the remaining Stooges were looking on with their
mouths wide open. They couldn't believe that Shinji was teasing Asuka.
Just the fact that he was teasing a girl in general was enough to leave
them speechless. After a few minutes of watching this, they started
chasing the two pilots, trying their damnedest to keep Shinji safe. Of
course, they were a little late, since Shinji and Asuka were quickly out of
sight.
Shinji finally gave Asuka her dress back after she got tired of chasing
him. Incidentally, that took about twenty minutes of lapping the carrier.
She got so tired that she chased him right to her locker. However,
physical exhaustion doesn't always stop Asuka from getting her revenge.
She locked the door to the locker room as Shinji and her entered. Shinji
had nowhere to run to.
Unfortunately for Asuka, she forgot that she was in the room with Shinji
and that the lock was on the other side of the door. This became readily
apparent as she pounded on the door for her to leave.
"Um, Asuka?" Shinji asked sheepishly.
"What is it?" Asuka snapped back.
"Um, a-are we s-stuck?" he stuttered.
"No, what would give you that idea?" she said, her voice utterly dripping
with sarcasm.
"S-sorry."
"It's all your fault, you know? If you hadn't taken my dress, we'd not be
in this mess."
"I'm sorry." Shinji thought a little before adding, "Do they have cameras
in here?"
"What the hell are you thinking? I am not, repeat, not interested in a
little boy like you."
"I wasn't thinking like that. I thought that we might be able to call for
someone else to come unlock the door for us, that's all."
"Hey, that's not a bad idea, Third Child. Oh, wait. They don't have
cameras in the locker rooms. They decided that people needed their privacy
when they built this ship."
"Oh," sighed Shinji. "I-I guess there's only one thing to do right now."
"And what, pray tell, would that be? What could we possibly do in here,
huh?"
"C-change out of t-these plugsuits, p-perhaps?"
"AHA! So that's your plan, you want to gawk over my naked body! Well no
chance, Shinji," Asuka bellowed as she hid her eyes behind her hands.
"That wasn't the idea at all. It's not like I was suggesting a bath or
something." Shinji blushed suddenly at the thought of Asuka bathing. "I
just don't want to be in this plugsuit anymore. Now, could you please turn
around so I can change my clothes?" Shinji asked as he turned his back to
Asuka, who was slowly removing her hands from her eyes.
"Are you suggesting that I would look at you . . . " Asuka stopped and
turned around quickly as she noticed Shinji removing the plugsuit he was
wearing. She had a red face and was muttering various German curses meant
for Shinji.
"There, you can turn around now," said Shinji as he finished putting his
shoes on.
"Why, so you can flash me?" a flustered Asuka barked.
"Oh, you're probably afraid that you'd like what you'd see," Shinji
deadpanned. [I flipped the confidence switch for him again. God, I love
seeing Asuka squirm.]
"Oh, yeah. Like a scrawny boy like you would have anything to impress me,"
Asuka said as she whirled around to see Shinji, fully clothed and smiling.
"Uh, hello," Shinji said timidly. [I turned the switch off, for now. I
can't make him be confident all the time, or he wouldn't be Shinji.]
"You jerk!" Asuka screamed, "I'll kill you, Ikari!"
"Now, Asuka," Shinji pleaded as he backed into a locker, "please don't do
anything rash. I was only joking around." [Maybe I went a little too far.]
Shinji then began to assume a fetal position from inside a locker.
"Oh, Shinji?" Asuka purred as she approached Shinji's position.
"Y-y-yes?"
"Never mind. I guess I should change now," she said as seductively as she
could without giving poor Shinji a massive nosebleed. "I guess I shouldn't
have to worry about you seeing me naked. After all, you never know when we
might have to take a sync test in the nude." [If she only knew how true
that statement really was . . .]
"H-h-huh?" squeaked Shinji. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was
she actually allowing Shinji to see her naked? He deliberated with himself
for a while before deciding that he should be a gentleman and not look.
[Good Shinji]
Asuka, however, had planned on Shinji to not be a gentleman. As such, she
teased him a little more. "It's just a shame that you stayed decent," the
fiendish redhead pouted while rustling her clothes. "Because I really
wanted to see your cute little butt again."
(Shinji) [I mustn't run away. What am I talking about? There's nowhere to
run to! I mustn't submit. Like I have a choice! It's a matter of
survival: look and die, or don't and pray that you live. Wait a minute.
Did she say I had a cute butt? Is she really interested in me? Nah! It's
a trap. But what if it isn't? Oh, I don't know what to do . . .]
By this time, Asuka had closed the door of the locker that Shinji crawled
into. She was congratulating herself for royally messing with the young
man's head. "That's what you get for messing with the Great Asuka Langley
Sohryu," she whispered into the door.
Of course, Shinji wasn't paying attention to the fact that someone had
indeed come in to unlock the locker room door. He was too engrossed in his
present train of thought to notice Asuka close the locker door and leave
the room, now dressed in her yellow sundress. He didn't notice until the
door closed again.
"It's unlocked? I'm free! OW! Hey! Asuka!" Shinji yelled as he stumbled
out of the locker. "Is anyone in here? No? Good." And with that, he
left the locker room. Both Shinji and I thanked whatever gods Asuka didn't
lock the door as she left.
After searching for about an hour, Shinji got to the mess just in time for
dinner. He was ecstatic that he found Misato, as he had some business to
talk to her about.
"Shinji!" the purple haired guardian cried, "Thank God! I thought Asuka
had killed you!"
"I was close, Misato," Shinji said in relief. "I was real damn close to
being dead."
"What happened? We lost you around the flight deck and couldn't locate
you."
"Asuka chased me into the locker room," began Shinji. "I got my clothes
back, and I gave her dress back. Unfortunately, she locked me in the
locker room." [We just aren't going to mention to Misato that Asuka was
locked in there too.]
"So that explains it. I was worried that she threw a locker at you or
something. You have to be more careful around her; she can be mean when
she wants to be," Misato said ominously.
"Thanks for the warning, Misato," Shinji said before getting to the heart
of the matter. "Oh, yeah. I needed to talk to you about something."
"Sure, Shinji, what is it?"
"Can I get a paycheck for this gig?"
To Be Continued
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Author's notes: I don't know how this chapter got this big. I had a basic
idea for the chapter, but all these great ideas for some kind of plot
development just appeared out of nowhere. I'm just afraid of how long the
later chapters will be. As for Kyoko, I figured that since Unit 02 didn't
have a megalomaniac talk to it on a regular basis about some master plan,
Kyoko wouldn't know what's been going on. I don't think it helped that EVA
didn't take all of Kyoko. I figured that I should include the souls of
each EVA for various reasons. It will all become clear with the passing of
time, or of a few more Angels. I just hope you like it. Please read and
review. I'll have another chapter, when I have another chapter. See ya.