Disclaimer: Don't own Gainax. Don't own Evangelion. Don't try to sue.
No money. No point.
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES LIME ELEMENTS
[This is thought]
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This Way to Happiness
Chapter Two: Through Muddy Pools of LCL
By FinalMax
A Richter Scale Production
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It's been two days since we got back from the "Over the Rainbow." I still
can't believe that Shinji and Misato had to stay on the ship overnight.
Sure, we still hadn't reached the shore yet, but why did they stick us in
the same room with Asuka? I was only glad that Kensuke and Touji were
airlifted before they could embarrass my host any further. I can still
remember the events of that evening . . .
#########/BEGIN FLASHBACK/##########
"What?!" shrieked Shinji. "Why do I have to stay too?"
"Because, Shinji," Misato chuckled, "I want a good morning hug, and I
always get what I want. What, are you embarrassed that you have to spend
the night in the same room with two beautiful women?"
"Well, um, uh, I guess," Shinji choked out. "What about Pen-Pen? Who's
going to feed him in the morning? And what about clothes?"
"I already have that taken care of," Misato beamed. "I asked Ritsuko to
look after him until we got back. It's her day off, so I don't think that
will be a problem. I told her that he likes his beer with his breakfast.
Clothes are no problem; I packed an overnight bag for us."
Shinji was shocked. "Wow, I'm surprised that you actually thought ahead."
"What's that supposed to mean, Shinji?" Misato pouted.
"It means you don't use your head," said another voice.
"Huh? Oh, it's you Asuka," Misato said, glaring at the fiery pilot of Unit
02.
"What do you mean, 'it's you, Asuka?'" the redhead huffed. "Of course it's
me; I'm just amazed that idiot boy is still here."
"Well, you'd better get comfortable, Asuka, cause Shinji and I are going to
share your room tonight."
"What?" Asuka screamed. You could just see the steam rising from her ears.
"Y-y-yeah. S-since Kaji-san isn't here, Misato was told to look after you.
They d-didn't have any more r-rooms for us, s-so they put us in y-your
room," Shinji answered.
"But that doesn't explain why you're here, dummy."
"M-Misato's my guardian, so I-I guess that they d-didn't want me to b-be
left alone."
"Oh, that's just great." Asuka said sarcastically. "I have to share my
room with a pervert and a tramp."
"Just who are you calling a tramp?" bellowed Misato.
"Guess."
"Why you . . . you little bitch," Misato hissed. "You haven't changed at
all, have you?"
"Like you should talk."
At this point, Shinji decided to play peacemaker. "Now, ladies . . . "
"What?!" Misato and Asuka snapped as they gave death glares to poor Shinji.
In fact, the combined glare from both women was strong enough to make
Gendo raise an eyebrow, had he been in the room.
"Maybe we should just get some sleep," Shinji continued, feeling slightly
tired. "It's been a long day for all of us, and we could all use the rest.
God knows we won't have much time for sleep when we get back."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Asuka asked.
"Well, Asuka," replied Misato, "you're going to have a sync-test as soon as
we get Unit 02 in its cage. Then you can expect a thorough physical and
psychological examination followed by a complete briefing on the location
of weapons silos and power stations. Then you have . . . "
"Alright already, I get the point." Asuka sighed in defeat, "I'm going to
have zero free time for a couple of days."
"Let's not forget that I have to show you around town," Shinji added.
"Why you?" Asuka inquired.
"Because Misato will probably be filling out condolences and other
paperwork for the battle this afternoon. [Also, I drew the short straw.]
Anyways, I have to show you the way to school."
"School? I have to go to school? I'm a college graduate; I don't need to
go to school."
"Really, you're a college grad?" Shinji inquired. "I didn't know that, but
I don't think it matters. I was told that the pilots are expected to be in
school when they are not at NERV. Something about the UN demanding it or
they'd cut off their funding."
"Figures," Asuka scoffed. "You'd think that those fossils at the UN would
excuse a college graduate, but noooo. They just have to make us all go to
school."
"It's better than being at NERV all day," Misato said. "Believe me."
"I don't want to be in a school with perverts like Shinji and the Stooges,"
Asuka whined.
"Hey, I'm not a pervert," Shinji said. "I can't help my friends, but don't
automatically file me as 'Pervert' until you get to know me. I do have
feelings you know." [Did Kurt hit the confidence switch again? If not,
then where did that come from?]
"Tell her, Shinji!" whooped Misato. She was obviously pleased that Shinji
had stood up for himself. She then pondered how she could make Asuka
squirm and tease Shinji at the same time. Luckily, she didn't know the
whole story of the locker room incident, or she would have enough material
to tease the two pilots till doomsday. Suddenly, she had a thought.
"Misato, hello. Earth to Misato, come in," Asuka said as she waved her
hand in front of Misato's face.
"Huh, what is it?"
"I swear, Misato, you have the attention span of a turnip. Didn't you hear
a word I said?"
"Nope, I didn't pay attention to you at all. I was just thinking . . . "
"That must have hurt," the redhead interrupted.
"As I was saying," Misato continued, "I was just thinking of our sleeping
arrangements. I couldn't help but notice that there's only two beds and
not much room on the floor."
"Yeah. So?" Asuka asked suspiciously.
"There are three of us and only two beds. I guess two of us will have to
share a bed."
Somewhere in the engine room, the sound of two Children face faulting
startled an engineer, causing him to hit his head on a pipe. "Damn NERV
and their damned pilots."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!" the Children said as they got off the floor.
"You two heard me. Two of us will have to share a bed. Now Asuka, which
will it be: you and Shinji, or you and me?"
"M-M-Misato!" my host whimpered, his face turning an impressive shade of
red. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I don't like the idea of you sleeping on the floor of a battleship.
We don't know where it's been."
"O-Okay Misato. I guess I see your point. I don't really know how clean
the floor here is." Chuckling a little, Shinji added, "Odds are, this
floor may have been worse than your room the one time I went in."
"Ha, ha, ha, Shinji's got you there, Misato. I guess she's still a slob,"
Asuka said before rolling on the floor in laughter.
"Asuka," an annoyed Misato said, "I'm still waiting for an answer. Who is
going to be the substitute for your teddy bear tonight, me or Shinji?"
"How do you know about Mr. Bear-Bear?" Asuka gasped. It was her turn to
have a red face.
"I had to deliver your ID card once," Misato narrated with a toothy grin.
"You were gone somewhere, but you left the door open. I put it on your
nightstand, when I spotted Mr. Bear-Bear. I thought it was cute, but
that's beside the point. I know they must have made you pack Mr. Bear-Bear
up. Now, who's going to play teddy bear tonight?"
"I don't know why you're asking me. If you're so worried about your
precious Shinji, why don't you ask him? I don't think that pervert would
mind sleeping with you."
"Actually," Shinji pointed out, "she tries convincing me every Thursday,
and I've yet to take her up on the offer." Asuka looked at him kind of
funny until he added, "It's bad enough to get a bear hug every morning from
her. I really don't want her to crush me in my sleep."
"Besides," Misato whispered to Asuka, "I think Shinji would pass out if I
asked him. He seems to react like that to the slightest innuendo." [If
that isn't a setup, I don't know what is.]
Just then, the two women thought on the same wavelength. I like to call
this particular wavelength the "Teasing Frequency." It is the wavelength I
observe when women have mischievous thoughts running through their heads.
I probably should have warned Shinji, but I thought it would be a little
more fun for Shinji and I to make some mischief of our own. I began
thinking up a counterstrike to whatever the girls were plotting.
Unfortunately, I didn't think fast enough.
After Misato nodded in agreement, Asuka asked, "Shinji? What do you think?
Should I sleep with Misato, or do you want to sleep with me?" I should
note that Asuka used 'the Voice.' No, I'm not making a reference to Dune;
I'm talking about the seductive voice women use to tease the guys they're
interested in. The puppy-dog look she had wasn't helping Shinji's resolve
either. [Damn it, we'll have to abort Operation Sweatdrop.]
"H-H-H-Huh? W-W-What do you mean? I-I can't sleep with you!" Shinji
stuttered. His brain was still trying to register what was going on as
Asuka leaned against him.
"Ah, why not? I don't bite, unless you want me to," Asuka purred in
Shinji's ear. "I promise you'll enjoy it."
It just figured that Shinji's brain shut down, the victim of obvious
sensory overload. Between the Sixth Angel and Asuka's teasing, poor
Shinji's brain blew a fuse. However, one part of Shinji was paying very
close attention. Unfortunately, that proved to be more of a problem than
usual, since Shinji fainted from the rapid shift in blood pressure
throughout his body.
As Shinji fell to the floor, I heard Misato say, "I told you he'd faint,
Asuka. I guess we'll put a blanket on the floor for Shinji. I doubt he'll
wake before dawn. Really, Asuka, did you have to go that far? That's
overkill!"
"I know, I know." Tilting her head to one side, Asuka continued, "It's
still funny . . . "
Me: "Shinji! Shinji! Damn! I probably should have pressed the
confidence switch. Now I have to jumpstart his brain. Where's that
emergency override I saw earlier? Alright, take a left at the
cerebellum and head towards the left eardrum. That seems easy enough.
(Arriving at the emergency override) You've got to be kidding me. A
megaphone is the emergency override? Who the hell designed this
place, a circus clown? Oh well, I guess it's better than nothing.
(Shouting) SHINJI! ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
Shinji: (Somewhat startled) "What the hell was that?"
Me: (back in the hypothalamus) "I just used the emergency override.
Usually, it's used to wake your body up, but your whole mind needed
the jumpstart. (Sigh) We really need to work on your reactions to
implied sexual advances."
Shinji: (puzzled) "Huh?"
Me: "I mean you need to stop freezing when girls flirt with you.
You could avoid a lot of embarrassment in the future if you stop
fainting."
Shinji: "I can't help it; I haven't had much contact with girls,
especially the drop dead gorgeous girls."
Me: "I understand. I may not be a Casanova, but I know how to make
friends with women. I should probably teach you a few things that
virtually all girls have in common."
Shinji: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I was almost entirely raised by women, so theoretically, I
should have a better idea what women think than most men do. They
thought that at least one man should have some clue. One thing I've
already learned is that man can only catch a woman who wants him to
catch her. This is why some men can do nothing and still 'win'
women's hearts, while others could move heaven and earth yet never get
a date."
Shinji: "Wow! I didn't know that. Is there any more?"
Me: "Yeah, there is. Most of it's situational, so I'll teach you
when the situations arise."
Shinji: "Thanks. Just don't talk to me about a woman's period.
Misato already explained it to me in excruciating detail."
Me: (Shuddering at the thought) "Oooh, I understand. Hey, what time
is it?" (Gave him time to look at his watch)
Shinji: "It's 1:30. I guess I should change now. I don't want to
spend the rest of the night in these clothes."
Me: "Good idea, you do that."
Shinji changed into the sleepwear Misato packed for him. I'm guessing
Misato bought it as a present for Shinji, considering it was pre-packaged
and had a note saying, "Wear this at night, okay? Sweet Dreams Shinji.
Love, Misato." I had to admit I was surprised myself. Did she expect
Shinji to pass out before Asuka and her went to bed? That, and how much
did she spend on that? It looks like it's made from pure silk. Anyways,
Shinji looked for his SDAT in the bag but didn't find it. He probably
should have checked his jacket, where he left it.
Shinji got back to the spot on the floor he was resting on earlier, waiting
for sleep to come to him. He was about to fall asleep, when he heard a
soft cry. We wondered who it could be, whether it was someone in Asuka's
room or an adjacent room. Actually, I should say Shinji wondered who was
crying. I already had a clue who it was. After all, it sounded like a
woman crying, and we were sharing a room with the only two women on the
whole damned ship.
Shinji looked around our room first. It wasn't Misato, since she was
snoring softly with a goofy grin on her face. I swear that her grin looked
more devious than Shinji could remember it being. After Shinji wiped the
drool off her chin, we turned our attention to Asuka's bed.
Asuka looked scared in her bed. No, not scared, she was terrified. She
was clutching her sheets as if her life depended on it. She was shaking
her head as if it would make her nightmare go away. She had two tears fall
from her face onto her pillow. As we got closer to her bed, Shinji and I
both had the same thought cross our collective head. [What should I/Shinji
do? She looks so helpless. I can't stand it!]
Shinji was about to wake her up, when Asuka's arms shot out, grabbed him by
the neck, and drew him closer to her. Shinji suddenly found his head
nestled firmly in Asuka's bosom, with no apparent way to get out. Shinji
and I found ourselves in an awkward position: we could wake Asuka now and
possibly be killed, or we could wait until her hold on Shinji lessened. We
chose to wait it out.
Strangely, at the very moment Asuka grabbed Shinji, she seemed to calm
down. Whenever her grip relaxed and Shinji tried to get away, however,
Asuka tightened her grip on the 'Shinji bear.' After the third escape
attempt, Shinji and I gave up and decided to just enjoy the moment.
Around two o'clock, Asuka decided to go to the bathroom. We were afraid
she'd wake up and kill us, or at the very least, she'd let us go. Neither
outcome took place. Instead, Asuka got out of bed and walked to the
nearest restroom, still holding Shinji's neck like a teddy bear. She
finally let go of Shinji when she was getting ready to actually use the
bathroom. Shinji saw his opportunity and ran to the door, only to find
that Asuka locked it. Shinji didn't have a clue what to do, and Asuka was
almost done.
Me: "Shinji! What the hell do you think you're doing? Here you
are, alone, in the bathroom, with a beautiful girl, and you want to
run away? What's wrong with you, man?"
Shinji: "I don't want to be killed, that's all! Self-preservation
takes priority over personal enjoyment."
Me: "Shinji, that's just preserving your existence, not living.
There's a difference."
Shinji: "Okay, then. Why don't you tell me what I need to do?"
Me: "Take chances, make mistakes, do some things without thinking
about consequences. That's what you need to do to live. Never forget
that."
Shinji: "What does that have to do with this situation?"
Me: "You are thinking about the consequences of staying. Did you
ever think that she'd wake up because you're not there?"
Shinji: "No, why?"
Me: (Sighing) "Just sit back and enjoy the night. This kind of
thing doesn't happen every day, and you owe it to your fellow man to
enjoy it."
Shinji: "Really?"
Me: "Nah, I just made that up. Seriously though, you need to relax
and enjoy the pleasant surprises life brings. Besides, Asuka seems to
feel better when she has her teddy bear, (teasingly) or in this case,
her 'Shinji bear.'"
Shinji: "Don't call me that."
Me: (Chuckling) "Relax, I was just illustrating a point. For now,
it's probably in Asuka's best interest if you continue to play 'teddy
bear.' It's your choice, though. I personally couldn't stand seeing
a girl like her crying. Could you?"
Shinji: "No, I guess not. (after a pause to consider) All right, I'll
do it. I'll just deal with the consequences when everyone wakes up."
Me: "Good. Let's get back now; she's almost done."
Shinji: "Okay. Kurt?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Shinji: "Thanks."
Me: "No problem."
Shinji went back to the spot where Asuka let go of his head just as she was
reaching out for him. Again, Asuka dragged Shinji around, but Shinji
managed to walk at the same pace. When we reached the bedroom, Asuka put
her 'teddy bear' on the bed before she crawled in. We had to quickly get
under the covers before Asuka. If we didn't, then Shinji would pin down
the covers, and Asuka might wake while she attempted to get in bed.
We barely managed to get Shinji under the covers before Asuka crawled in.
Shinji rolled onto his side to give the redheaded beauty some space.
Shinji was still facing Asuka, just to check if she needed more room. As
Asuka got into her bed, she wrapped her arms around Shinji's waist and
pulled him closer. Shinji and Asuka's faces were mere centimeters away
from each other.
I could tell that Shinji was quite tempted to kiss Asuka in her sleep.
Hell, just about any man that is that close to an attractive young woman
would be tempted to do that and then some. I was surprised to see that he
was already closing the gap between their lips. [Guess my speech worked a
little too well.] Two centimeters. One centimeter. Five millimeters.
Four. Three. Two . . .
Just before their lips could meet, a tear rolled down Asuka's cheek,
followed by a light sniffle. That stopped Shinji's approach and made him
back up a bit. Shinji looked Asuka over as he tried to determine why she
was crying. As he observed the auburn-haired maiden before him, I was
trying to read her emotions. I sensed an overpowering emotion from her,
although I couldn't quite place it yet.
"Don't," Asuka said sleepily. "Don't leave me alone. Stay here with me.
Don't go!" Trembling and still asleep, Asuka pulled Shinji closer to her
as I finally understood what I sensed. Fear. Fear is what I felt from
Asuka. I felt that Shinji and I had to help her somehow. I couldn't
interfere with her dreams, because I was afraid I'd make them worse. We
had no choice; Shinji would have to comfort her.
Me: "Shinji."
Shinji: "Yeah, Kurt. What is it?"
Me: "Something's really scaring Asuka. I won't go in her dreams
because I might make them worse. So you'll have to comfort her."
Shinji: "How am I going to do that?"
Me: "I'll tell you. It's time to teach you another one of the
things all women have in common. Thankfully, this can be applied to
the current situation."
Shinji: "What is it?"
Me: "All women have certain vulnerable points. When these points
are properly stimulated, a woman will almost instantly calm. One of
these points is just below the left shoulder blade."
Shinji: "Why there?"
Me: "Easy. They can't reach it when it itches. This itch can
actually worsen when a woman is wearing a bra, because it rubs up
against this spot. In order to properly exploit this sensitive point,
you must scratch that spot. It is virtually guaranteed to work,
unless the woman is sore. Then it just makes her mad. Given our
current predicament, it is in our interests to start slowly and
gently. If Asuka is still uncomfortable, adjust the speed and
strength of the scratching motion until we achieve the desired
effect."
Shinji: "And what is the desired effect?"
Me: "Asuka stops crying and trembling, and her grip on you may
loosen."
Shinji: "But what if the back scratch doesn't work?"
Me: "Good question. (After a moment) Wing it!"
Shinji: "Huh?"
Me: "You'll have to do this yourself. I can only suggest that you
don't try to wake Asuka up, since I have no idea what she'll do to
you."
Shinji: "Okay, I'll remember that."
Me: "Good luck, Shinji."
Shinji: "Thanks, I'll need it."
Shinji slowly wrapped his arms around Asuka and began to gently scratch her
back. Oddly enough, he decided to scratch underneath both shoulder blades.
[Better safe than sorry.] He started with an up-and-down motion with
limited success. Asuka calmed a little, but neither her tears nor her hold
on Shinji lessened.
After he sighed, Shinji scratched her back in a circular motion. He
experimented with different ways to scratch Asuka's back. He scratched her
back in a clockwise manner, then counterclockwise. Asuka calmed a little
more after each try, but still hadn't stopped crying. Then Shinji used his
right hand to scratch her left shoulder blade clockwise while his left
scratched her right shoulder blade counterclockwise. This made Asuka calm
down even more, but it still wasn't enough. Even when Shinji went in
reverse, Asuka couldn't calm down.
Suddenly, inspiration must have struck Shinji. He stopped scratching
Asuka's back and pulled her closer to him. He brushed a stray strand of
the Germanic beauty's red hair with his right hand and gently caressed her
face. Shinji gently rocked Asuka in his arms before he kissed her. He
didn't kiss her on the lips like he tried to before, but rather he kissed
her forehead. After he gave Asuka two light kisses to her forehead, Shinji
brought his face close to her ear. Before he resumed scratching Asuka's
back, he whispered to her, "Everything will be all right. I'll stay with
you. Sweet dreams, Asuka."
As Shinji spoke those soft words, Asuka finally calmed down completely,
succumbing to the brown-haired pilot's gentle caress. As Shinji drifted to
sleep, he saw one of the most heavenly sights his young eyes had ever seen.
Right before his eyes, we saw Asuka sleeping with an absolutely serene
smile on her face. It was the kind of smile that you see when someone
knows that everything will be all right. I could tell the sight moved
Shinji, as a similar smile was on his face.
Me: "Shinji. (After a minute) Shinji! Hello, earth to Shinji, come in
Shinji!"
Shinji: "Huh? What is it now Kurt?"
Me: "Where did that idea come from? I know I told you to wing it,
but I don't know how you got the idea of holding Asuka like that! I
have to admit, it was impressive how you got her calm. No offence,
but I didn't think you had that much confidence."
Shinji: "I suddenly remembered something my mother did whenever I was
afraid. She used to hold me like that and would whisper soothing
words in my ear. Sometimes, she'd sing a song to calm me down. It's
funny; I couldn't remember it until I saw Asuka crying like that. The
memory just came from thin air, and I just felt like it would work on
her. I'm glad it did, because I don't think I would've seen her smile
like that."
Me: "Me too. I didn't even think she could make that kind of
smile."
Shinji: "I saw her make that smile before."
Me: "Really? When? Where?"
Shinji: "In the entry plug. She made that smile right after we
defeated the angel."
Me: "Wow. I'm impressed. (Teasingly) Maybe she only smiles like
that for you."
Shinji: (Yawning) "I'm too tired to deal with your teasing, Kurt.
Good night."
Me: "Good night, Shinji. (after a moment of thought) Hey, Shinji."
Shinji: (Annoyed and tired) "What now, Kurt?"
Me: "Considering how close you are to Asuka right now, I'll have to
make sure certain bodily reactions are in check."
Shinji: "Huh?"
Me: "In other words, I'm going to make sure that you don't have
morning wood, so Asuka won't kill you."
Shinji: "Good thinking. Now let me sleep."
As Shinji slept, I worked on keeping his hormones under control. First, I
tried redirecting them to his arms, but that made Shinji's hands head south
on Asuka. I had to override that action before we all had a rude
awakening. Then I tried directing the hormones towards his back, but all
that did was make the sensation of Asuka's arms around him more arousing.
It really didn't help that her arms roamed a bit. Finally, I redirected
the hormones to his feet. [There's no way those could cause any trouble,
right?] Thankfully, all that it did was make Shinji's legs wrap around
Asuka's. If anything, I just prevented Asuka from kicking Shinji in the
morning. Figuring that nothing will happen in the morning, I decided to
check on the sleeping pilots' dreams.
First, I checked Shinji's dream. It appears that my efforts to prevent an
early demise resulted in giving him more, um, pleasant dreams. I'll
abbreviate the details. Shinji. Asuka. Rei. Hot tub. King-size bed.
Massage oil. Use your imagination. To say the very least, he was sleeping
with a smile on his face.
After making a mental note to talk to Shinji about the limits of human
flexibility, I went over to Asuka's head to check on her dreams. I quickly
found Asuka's control center and watched the replay of her dream. A
younger Asuka stood under a spotlight with dozens of people around her. As
she grew, people started walking into the shadows just beyond the light.
One by one, they left, ignoring Asuka's desperate pleas for them to stay.
Finally, only Kaji remained. She clung to Kaji, still begging for him to
stay. In response, he held Asuka and rocked her gently. As he slowly
kissed her forehead, Kaji morphed into Shinji. Asuka gasped a little at
the sudden and confusing change. The shock slowly turned into delight as
Shinji held the temperamental German closer to him.
I switched to the live feed, which stayed at the same scene. When Shinji
turned her around and whispered in her ear, Asuka's dream switched to Unit
02's entry plug, during the Angel battle. After her and Shinji defeated
the Angel, Shinji nibbled on her left ear. Asuka turned around and gave
the dream Shinji a deep, passionate kiss. She let Shinji's hands roam
around her as she did the same for him. It was at this point that I heard
a sound. I recognized the sound as the song, "Let's Get It On." [Well, at
least she knows some mood music.] After identifying the song, I looked
back at the scene and deleted my mental note. [Guess I don't have to worry
about Asuka not being flexible enough.]
I didn't know what was happening outside the dream, so I left Asuka's body
to investigate. Sure enough, she was pressing her body into Shinji's and
softly moaned into his neck. "Damn it!" I said to myself. "Now I have to
go back to work." [And I was going to talk to Kyoko about the early
portion of Asuka's dream.] Suddenly, it hit me. [What if Asuka begins to
moan loud enough to wake Misato?] "Dear God," I pleaded, "please keep
Asuka quiet. I don't think Shinji will survive the combined assault of
Asuka and Misato." I quickly had to get back to redirecting hormones and
blood flow, as it was 4:30 am. I redirected the blood to his hands and
brain. Likewise, I directed the hormones to Shinji's arms and legs. Again
they made their previous movements, thus both preventing Asuka from harming
Shinji when they woke and making the redhead moan a little louder.
Fortunately, she had buried her head in his shoulder, so the sound was
muffled.
This time I'd have to stay in Shinji to insure that his reactions are still
impaired. Suddenly, Asuka's grip on Shinji tightened as her body tensed.
I'm guessing that her whole body blushed, since she suddenly warmed up.
Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Asuka was
thoroughly enjoying the direction her dream went. It was pretty obvious to
any conscious person or mind.
As the first rays of daylight swept across the sky, I realized a new
problem. Shinji and I knew how long Misato slept, but not how long Asuka
would sleep. Shinji would be waking up pretty soon, and that might do more
harm than good. I had to keep Shinji asleep for a bit longer, until I knew
what to do. In my panic, I turned the internal alarm clock off and
accidentally hit the dream replay button. [Damn it, why does the replay
button have to be so close to the snooze button.] I decided to forgo
messing with his hormones and just stick to redirecting the blood flow. I
allowed only the minimum amount of blood head towards its previous
destination. The rest of the blood was distributed equally throughout the
rest of the body.
As Misato opened her eyes, she noticed three things. She wasn't in her
apartment and hadn't had a beer since yesterday morning, and Shinji wasn't
asleep on the floor. She got out of bed and was about to go look for her
roommate, when she noticed a large lump in Asuka's bed. Something didn't
add up in her head: Shinji should have been on the floor, and Asuka's bed
looked like it had two people in it.
Fear for her life and her job was apparent from the sweat on her brow. Her
fears grew as only two possibilities played through her mind. Either Asuka
jumped Shinji, or she strangled our hero and was planning to use a self-
defense argument. Misato knew that Shinji couldn't take the initiative and
make an advance on any woman. She also knew that he wouldn't harm another
person if it could be helped, so he wouldn't have put up much resistance in
either scenario.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Misato decided to approach the bed and
see if she was right. As she looked at the sleeping form of Asuka in
Shinji's arms, Misato released the breath she unconsciously held. She knew
her roommate wasn't dead because his breath stirred some of the sleeping
German's red hair. Every time her hair moved across her neck, Asuka
tightened her grip on Shinji and nuzzled his shoulder. (Misato) [Wait a
minute! She's got her arms wrapped around my little Shinji! What the hell
happened last night? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this! Hmm, now which
one should I wake first, Shinji or Asuka? I'd better wake Shinji, since
he'd give a better answer than Asuka.]
As Misato was about to shake Shinji awake, she saw a genuinely serene smile
on the sleeping pilot's face. It made her rethink how she would wake
Shinji. After a couple moments of thinking, Misato brought her face closer
to Shinji's. She said in a voice just loud enough for the young boy to
hear, "Shinji. Wake up, sleepyhead."
Shinji slowly opened his eyes as he heard the voice and looked at his
surroundings. He smiled a bit as he looked at the sleeping beauty in his
arms, but it was the sight of Misato that made him fully awake. "M-M-
Misato!" Shinji whispered. "I can explain."
"You'd better explain, and fast," Misato sternly said in the same soft
voice she used to wake Shinji. She knew that Asuka was someone you'd have
to wake gently, for safety reasons. Sensing that Misato wouldn't go until
he explained himself, Shinji told Misato about last night, carefully
omitting the internal dialogs I shared with him. As Shinji recalled his
interesting night, Misato's face changed from a stern officer's to a soft
mother's. "Aw," Misato cooed. "That's so sweet. (Teasingly) My Shinji's
got a girlfriend."
"Misato! She's not my girlfriend," Shinji blushed at the statement. "I
just don't like seeing someone cry. I don't know exactly why she cried,
but it was tearing me apart. I can't just sit back and watch her suffer,
so I did my best to comfort her."
"I understand. You just wanted to help, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Well that's good. I'm gonna bathe and get ready, so you just stay here,"
Misato said with a small twinkle in her eyes.
"Okay. See you when you get back Misato," Shinji whispered. He then
turned his attention back to the angelic form in his arms. "You know what,
Asuka? You may be cute when you're awake, but you're absolutely gorgeous
when you're asleep. (To himself) It figures that I can say stuff like this
only when nobody can hear me. How pathetic."
Misato came back about a half hour later, clean, sober, and fully clothed.
"Shinji?" she asked. "Would you wake sleeping beauty up?"
"Okay, I'll wake her."
"Wake her up gently, Shinji. She doesn't quite like being shaken."
"Okay, Misato." Shinji swept back a few stray strands of Asuka's fiery
hair before carefully drawing himself closer to her ear. "Asuka," he
whispered. "It's morning. Time to wake up." All Asuka did was bury her
head further into his shoulder and mumble, "Just five more minutes."
Shinji, never one to question a woman's request, waited five more minutes
before renewing his effort to wake the German fireball resting comfortably
beside him. During this period, Shinji observed the young maiden sleeping
in front of him. He noticed the soft texture and creamy color of Asuka's
skin. Her ears weren't pierced, but rather they had a natural indentation
that could easily be mistaken for a piercing. Shinji absently noticed that
Asuka's hair smelled of strawberries and cream, with just a hint of LCL.
The scent had an intoxicating effect on the brown-haired pilot. Shinji was
so entranced by the German beauty's hair that he failed to notice Asuka
beginning to awaken.
Asuka wasn't entirely awake when she opened her eyes, seeing Shinji holding
her to him. Believing that she was still dreaming, Asuka said in a sultry
voice, "Mmm, Shinji, you were wonderful."
"Huh?" Shinji muttered, puzzled at the young Fraulein's statement. [What in
the hell was she dreaming about last night? Better yet, do I want to
know?] He looked at Misato, who currently was chuckling softly. As Misato
felt his gaze, she motioned for Shinji to play along with Asuka for a
little longer. Shinji blinked his acknowledgement, partly because he
wanted to know what went through the redhead's mind, and partly to have a
little fun.
"Well," Shinji softly said to Asuka, "I aim to please."
"You did, alright," said Asuka, before leaning in for a kiss.
Shinji froze, as Asuka got closer to his lips. He couldn't believe that
she was about to kiss him, as he tried to last night. As the distance
between them closed, Shinji shut his eyes in preparation for this new
experience. He absently wondered if Asuka's lips would taste like
strawberries. His friends had discussed the whole notion of kissing with
him once. They told him that every girl's kiss has a different taste.
Just moments before the teens' lips met, Misato cleared her throat, loudly.
Shinji quickly pulled back as Asuka gave him a confused look. It took a
few moments for Asuka's brain to register three facts. First, she wasn't
dreaming. Second, somehow, Shinji was lying comfortably with her in bed.
Third, they had an audience. Using the complex calculus she learned in
college, she put two and two together and came up with . . . five.
Indeed, something about this whole scenario didn't quite add up. [How did
Shinji get in my bed? Why did he get in my bed? And why are his arms
around me?] It wasn't that she didn't like it, because she did.
Considering her dream, Asuka found it pleasantly ironic that the focus of
the latter part of said dream was really in bed with her. The questions
she asked herself were pushed aside as she remembered that she had an
audience.
Asuka collected her thoughts as she prepared to save face. She took a
long, deep breath before . . . "Baka-Hentai!" Asuka screamed as Shinji
jumped off the bed, thus taking both of them tumbling to the floor. "How
dare you! You'd better explain yourself quick! And it better be good, or
I'll . . . "
"Now, Asuka," Shinji said as he crawled backwards from the redhead, "I-I
can explain. Just give me a minute . . . "
Misato, struggling to keep her composure, giggled. That giggle turned into
a chuckle, which progressed into a soft laugh. Within seconds, Misato was
holding her stomach as she let loose hysterical laughter, the likes of
which I've never before witnessed. "You should have seen the look on your
face, Asuka," Misato said between breaths. "It *Ha* was so *Hehe* funny.
It was almost as priceless as Shinji's when I woke him up."
"You mean you woke HIM up before ME?" roared a red-faced Asuka as steam
blew from her ears in embarrassment. "How long was he up?"
"Oh, I'd say about forty-five minutes."
"WHAT! I hope you had the sense to stay in the room that whole time!"
Asuka was now angry.
"Actually," Misato said weakly, "I was gone for a half hour"
"YOU WERE WHAT?" Okay, now Asuka had gone from angry to absolutely pissed
off. "He could have done something perverted while you were gone. Did you
ever think about that?"
For the sake of my host and his guardian, I decided to once more press the
confidence switch. [Damn, I hope this works!] "Asuka," Shinji said in a
calm, tranquil voice, "I was only admiring the wondrous beauty of your
face. I wouldn't dream of doing anything to ruin your magnificent pristine
form."
The flames that were circling Asuka's head died down from Shinji's comment.
Slowly, she made her way to Shinji, knelt down, and stared straight into
his eyes. "Now listen here, Third Child," Asuka hissed. "If I ever find
out that you've lied to me, I'll crush your balls into dust and put them in
a dust buster. Got it?"
"Y-Y-Yes, ma'am," gulped Shinji, suddenly crossing his legs in fear.
"Good," Asuka said before switching to a cheery voice. "Let's eat!"
#####################END FLASHBACK#########################
Today, Shinji has school and a synch test. He was still a little concerned
about Asuka. She's currently living in the barracks at NERV HQ. We've
heard that Shinji's father living in that same building. Personally, I
feel a great deal of pity for anyone who lives in the same block as Gendo,
let alone the same building.
To Be Continued
**************************************************************
AN: I've been racking my brain trying to finish this flashback. I know
what I'll have happen after the flashback, but it may take me a while to
really finish this chapter. School's about to start up again, so it may be
another couple months till the next update. I may decide to not make this
a flashback.
AN: I've decided that I'm splitting Chapter Two into two parts. The
length of the flashback was an unexpected development. The next part
No money. No point.
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES LIME ELEMENTS
[This is thought]
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This Way to Happiness
Chapter Two: Through Muddy Pools of LCL
By FinalMax
A Richter Scale Production
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
It's been two days since we got back from the "Over the Rainbow." I still
can't believe that Shinji and Misato had to stay on the ship overnight.
Sure, we still hadn't reached the shore yet, but why did they stick us in
the same room with Asuka? I was only glad that Kensuke and Touji were
airlifted before they could embarrass my host any further. I can still
remember the events of that evening . . .
#########/BEGIN FLASHBACK/##########
"What?!" shrieked Shinji. "Why do I have to stay too?"
"Because, Shinji," Misato chuckled, "I want a good morning hug, and I
always get what I want. What, are you embarrassed that you have to spend
the night in the same room with two beautiful women?"
"Well, um, uh, I guess," Shinji choked out. "What about Pen-Pen? Who's
going to feed him in the morning? And what about clothes?"
"I already have that taken care of," Misato beamed. "I asked Ritsuko to
look after him until we got back. It's her day off, so I don't think that
will be a problem. I told her that he likes his beer with his breakfast.
Clothes are no problem; I packed an overnight bag for us."
Shinji was shocked. "Wow, I'm surprised that you actually thought ahead."
"What's that supposed to mean, Shinji?" Misato pouted.
"It means you don't use your head," said another voice.
"Huh? Oh, it's you Asuka," Misato said, glaring at the fiery pilot of Unit
02.
"What do you mean, 'it's you, Asuka?'" the redhead huffed. "Of course it's
me; I'm just amazed that idiot boy is still here."
"Well, you'd better get comfortable, Asuka, cause Shinji and I are going to
share your room tonight."
"What?" Asuka screamed. You could just see the steam rising from her ears.
"Y-y-yeah. S-since Kaji-san isn't here, Misato was told to look after you.
They d-didn't have any more r-rooms for us, s-so they put us in y-your
room," Shinji answered.
"But that doesn't explain why you're here, dummy."
"M-Misato's my guardian, so I-I guess that they d-didn't want me to b-be
left alone."
"Oh, that's just great." Asuka said sarcastically. "I have to share my
room with a pervert and a tramp."
"Just who are you calling a tramp?" bellowed Misato.
"Guess."
"Why you . . . you little bitch," Misato hissed. "You haven't changed at
all, have you?"
"Like you should talk."
At this point, Shinji decided to play peacemaker. "Now, ladies . . . "
"What?!" Misato and Asuka snapped as they gave death glares to poor Shinji.
In fact, the combined glare from both women was strong enough to make
Gendo raise an eyebrow, had he been in the room.
"Maybe we should just get some sleep," Shinji continued, feeling slightly
tired. "It's been a long day for all of us, and we could all use the rest.
God knows we won't have much time for sleep when we get back."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Asuka asked.
"Well, Asuka," replied Misato, "you're going to have a sync-test as soon as
we get Unit 02 in its cage. Then you can expect a thorough physical and
psychological examination followed by a complete briefing on the location
of weapons silos and power stations. Then you have . . . "
"Alright already, I get the point." Asuka sighed in defeat, "I'm going to
have zero free time for a couple of days."
"Let's not forget that I have to show you around town," Shinji added.
"Why you?" Asuka inquired.
"Because Misato will probably be filling out condolences and other
paperwork for the battle this afternoon. [Also, I drew the short straw.]
Anyways, I have to show you the way to school."
"School? I have to go to school? I'm a college graduate; I don't need to
go to school."
"Really, you're a college grad?" Shinji inquired. "I didn't know that, but
I don't think it matters. I was told that the pilots are expected to be in
school when they are not at NERV. Something about the UN demanding it or
they'd cut off their funding."
"Figures," Asuka scoffed. "You'd think that those fossils at the UN would
excuse a college graduate, but noooo. They just have to make us all go to
school."
"It's better than being at NERV all day," Misato said. "Believe me."
"I don't want to be in a school with perverts like Shinji and the Stooges,"
Asuka whined.
"Hey, I'm not a pervert," Shinji said. "I can't help my friends, but don't
automatically file me as 'Pervert' until you get to know me. I do have
feelings you know." [Did Kurt hit the confidence switch again? If not,
then where did that come from?]
"Tell her, Shinji!" whooped Misato. She was obviously pleased that Shinji
had stood up for himself. She then pondered how she could make Asuka
squirm and tease Shinji at the same time. Luckily, she didn't know the
whole story of the locker room incident, or she would have enough material
to tease the two pilots till doomsday. Suddenly, she had a thought.
"Misato, hello. Earth to Misato, come in," Asuka said as she waved her
hand in front of Misato's face.
"Huh, what is it?"
"I swear, Misato, you have the attention span of a turnip. Didn't you hear
a word I said?"
"Nope, I didn't pay attention to you at all. I was just thinking . . . "
"That must have hurt," the redhead interrupted.
"As I was saying," Misato continued, "I was just thinking of our sleeping
arrangements. I couldn't help but notice that there's only two beds and
not much room on the floor."
"Yeah. So?" Asuka asked suspiciously.
"There are three of us and only two beds. I guess two of us will have to
share a bed."
Somewhere in the engine room, the sound of two Children face faulting
startled an engineer, causing him to hit his head on a pipe. "Damn NERV
and their damned pilots."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!" the Children said as they got off the floor.
"You two heard me. Two of us will have to share a bed. Now Asuka, which
will it be: you and Shinji, or you and me?"
"M-M-Misato!" my host whimpered, his face turning an impressive shade of
red. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I don't like the idea of you sleeping on the floor of a battleship.
We don't know where it's been."
"O-Okay Misato. I guess I see your point. I don't really know how clean
the floor here is." Chuckling a little, Shinji added, "Odds are, this
floor may have been worse than your room the one time I went in."
"Ha, ha, ha, Shinji's got you there, Misato. I guess she's still a slob,"
Asuka said before rolling on the floor in laughter.
"Asuka," an annoyed Misato said, "I'm still waiting for an answer. Who is
going to be the substitute for your teddy bear tonight, me or Shinji?"
"How do you know about Mr. Bear-Bear?" Asuka gasped. It was her turn to
have a red face.
"I had to deliver your ID card once," Misato narrated with a toothy grin.
"You were gone somewhere, but you left the door open. I put it on your
nightstand, when I spotted Mr. Bear-Bear. I thought it was cute, but
that's beside the point. I know they must have made you pack Mr. Bear-Bear
up. Now, who's going to play teddy bear tonight?"
"I don't know why you're asking me. If you're so worried about your
precious Shinji, why don't you ask him? I don't think that pervert would
mind sleeping with you."
"Actually," Shinji pointed out, "she tries convincing me every Thursday,
and I've yet to take her up on the offer." Asuka looked at him kind of
funny until he added, "It's bad enough to get a bear hug every morning from
her. I really don't want her to crush me in my sleep."
"Besides," Misato whispered to Asuka, "I think Shinji would pass out if I
asked him. He seems to react like that to the slightest innuendo." [If
that isn't a setup, I don't know what is.]
Just then, the two women thought on the same wavelength. I like to call
this particular wavelength the "Teasing Frequency." It is the wavelength I
observe when women have mischievous thoughts running through their heads.
I probably should have warned Shinji, but I thought it would be a little
more fun for Shinji and I to make some mischief of our own. I began
thinking up a counterstrike to whatever the girls were plotting.
Unfortunately, I didn't think fast enough.
After Misato nodded in agreement, Asuka asked, "Shinji? What do you think?
Should I sleep with Misato, or do you want to sleep with me?" I should
note that Asuka used 'the Voice.' No, I'm not making a reference to Dune;
I'm talking about the seductive voice women use to tease the guys they're
interested in. The puppy-dog look she had wasn't helping Shinji's resolve
either. [Damn it, we'll have to abort Operation Sweatdrop.]
"H-H-H-Huh? W-W-What do you mean? I-I can't sleep with you!" Shinji
stuttered. His brain was still trying to register what was going on as
Asuka leaned against him.
"Ah, why not? I don't bite, unless you want me to," Asuka purred in
Shinji's ear. "I promise you'll enjoy it."
It just figured that Shinji's brain shut down, the victim of obvious
sensory overload. Between the Sixth Angel and Asuka's teasing, poor
Shinji's brain blew a fuse. However, one part of Shinji was paying very
close attention. Unfortunately, that proved to be more of a problem than
usual, since Shinji fainted from the rapid shift in blood pressure
throughout his body.
As Shinji fell to the floor, I heard Misato say, "I told you he'd faint,
Asuka. I guess we'll put a blanket on the floor for Shinji. I doubt he'll
wake before dawn. Really, Asuka, did you have to go that far? That's
overkill!"
"I know, I know." Tilting her head to one side, Asuka continued, "It's
still funny . . . "
Me: "Shinji! Shinji! Damn! I probably should have pressed the
confidence switch. Now I have to jumpstart his brain. Where's that
emergency override I saw earlier? Alright, take a left at the
cerebellum and head towards the left eardrum. That seems easy enough.
(Arriving at the emergency override) You've got to be kidding me. A
megaphone is the emergency override? Who the hell designed this
place, a circus clown? Oh well, I guess it's better than nothing.
(Shouting) SHINJI! ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
Shinji: (Somewhat startled) "What the hell was that?"
Me: (back in the hypothalamus) "I just used the emergency override.
Usually, it's used to wake your body up, but your whole mind needed
the jumpstart. (Sigh) We really need to work on your reactions to
implied sexual advances."
Shinji: (puzzled) "Huh?"
Me: "I mean you need to stop freezing when girls flirt with you.
You could avoid a lot of embarrassment in the future if you stop
fainting."
Shinji: "I can't help it; I haven't had much contact with girls,
especially the drop dead gorgeous girls."
Me: "I understand. I may not be a Casanova, but I know how to make
friends with women. I should probably teach you a few things that
virtually all girls have in common."
Shinji: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I was almost entirely raised by women, so theoretically, I
should have a better idea what women think than most men do. They
thought that at least one man should have some clue. One thing I've
already learned is that man can only catch a woman who wants him to
catch her. This is why some men can do nothing and still 'win'
women's hearts, while others could move heaven and earth yet never get
a date."
Shinji: "Wow! I didn't know that. Is there any more?"
Me: "Yeah, there is. Most of it's situational, so I'll teach you
when the situations arise."
Shinji: "Thanks. Just don't talk to me about a woman's period.
Misato already explained it to me in excruciating detail."
Me: (Shuddering at the thought) "Oooh, I understand. Hey, what time
is it?" (Gave him time to look at his watch)
Shinji: "It's 1:30. I guess I should change now. I don't want to
spend the rest of the night in these clothes."
Me: "Good idea, you do that."
Shinji changed into the sleepwear Misato packed for him. I'm guessing
Misato bought it as a present for Shinji, considering it was pre-packaged
and had a note saying, "Wear this at night, okay? Sweet Dreams Shinji.
Love, Misato." I had to admit I was surprised myself. Did she expect
Shinji to pass out before Asuka and her went to bed? That, and how much
did she spend on that? It looks like it's made from pure silk. Anyways,
Shinji looked for his SDAT in the bag but didn't find it. He probably
should have checked his jacket, where he left it.
Shinji got back to the spot on the floor he was resting on earlier, waiting
for sleep to come to him. He was about to fall asleep, when he heard a
soft cry. We wondered who it could be, whether it was someone in Asuka's
room or an adjacent room. Actually, I should say Shinji wondered who was
crying. I already had a clue who it was. After all, it sounded like a
woman crying, and we were sharing a room with the only two women on the
whole damned ship.
Shinji looked around our room first. It wasn't Misato, since she was
snoring softly with a goofy grin on her face. I swear that her grin looked
more devious than Shinji could remember it being. After Shinji wiped the
drool off her chin, we turned our attention to Asuka's bed.
Asuka looked scared in her bed. No, not scared, she was terrified. She
was clutching her sheets as if her life depended on it. She was shaking
her head as if it would make her nightmare go away. She had two tears fall
from her face onto her pillow. As we got closer to her bed, Shinji and I
both had the same thought cross our collective head. [What should I/Shinji
do? She looks so helpless. I can't stand it!]
Shinji was about to wake her up, when Asuka's arms shot out, grabbed him by
the neck, and drew him closer to her. Shinji suddenly found his head
nestled firmly in Asuka's bosom, with no apparent way to get out. Shinji
and I found ourselves in an awkward position: we could wake Asuka now and
possibly be killed, or we could wait until her hold on Shinji lessened. We
chose to wait it out.
Strangely, at the very moment Asuka grabbed Shinji, she seemed to calm
down. Whenever her grip relaxed and Shinji tried to get away, however,
Asuka tightened her grip on the 'Shinji bear.' After the third escape
attempt, Shinji and I gave up and decided to just enjoy the moment.
Around two o'clock, Asuka decided to go to the bathroom. We were afraid
she'd wake up and kill us, or at the very least, she'd let us go. Neither
outcome took place. Instead, Asuka got out of bed and walked to the
nearest restroom, still holding Shinji's neck like a teddy bear. She
finally let go of Shinji when she was getting ready to actually use the
bathroom. Shinji saw his opportunity and ran to the door, only to find
that Asuka locked it. Shinji didn't have a clue what to do, and Asuka was
almost done.
Me: "Shinji! What the hell do you think you're doing? Here you
are, alone, in the bathroom, with a beautiful girl, and you want to
run away? What's wrong with you, man?"
Shinji: "I don't want to be killed, that's all! Self-preservation
takes priority over personal enjoyment."
Me: "Shinji, that's just preserving your existence, not living.
There's a difference."
Shinji: "Okay, then. Why don't you tell me what I need to do?"
Me: "Take chances, make mistakes, do some things without thinking
about consequences. That's what you need to do to live. Never forget
that."
Shinji: "What does that have to do with this situation?"
Me: "You are thinking about the consequences of staying. Did you
ever think that she'd wake up because you're not there?"
Shinji: "No, why?"
Me: (Sighing) "Just sit back and enjoy the night. This kind of
thing doesn't happen every day, and you owe it to your fellow man to
enjoy it."
Shinji: "Really?"
Me: "Nah, I just made that up. Seriously though, you need to relax
and enjoy the pleasant surprises life brings. Besides, Asuka seems to
feel better when she has her teddy bear, (teasingly) or in this case,
her 'Shinji bear.'"
Shinji: "Don't call me that."
Me: (Chuckling) "Relax, I was just illustrating a point. For now,
it's probably in Asuka's best interest if you continue to play 'teddy
bear.' It's your choice, though. I personally couldn't stand seeing
a girl like her crying. Could you?"
Shinji: "No, I guess not. (after a pause to consider) All right, I'll
do it. I'll just deal with the consequences when everyone wakes up."
Me: "Good. Let's get back now; she's almost done."
Shinji: "Okay. Kurt?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Shinji: "Thanks."
Me: "No problem."
Shinji went back to the spot where Asuka let go of his head just as she was
reaching out for him. Again, Asuka dragged Shinji around, but Shinji
managed to walk at the same pace. When we reached the bedroom, Asuka put
her 'teddy bear' on the bed before she crawled in. We had to quickly get
under the covers before Asuka. If we didn't, then Shinji would pin down
the covers, and Asuka might wake while she attempted to get in bed.
We barely managed to get Shinji under the covers before Asuka crawled in.
Shinji rolled onto his side to give the redheaded beauty some space.
Shinji was still facing Asuka, just to check if she needed more room. As
Asuka got into her bed, she wrapped her arms around Shinji's waist and
pulled him closer. Shinji and Asuka's faces were mere centimeters away
from each other.
I could tell that Shinji was quite tempted to kiss Asuka in her sleep.
Hell, just about any man that is that close to an attractive young woman
would be tempted to do that and then some. I was surprised to see that he
was already closing the gap between their lips. [Guess my speech worked a
little too well.] Two centimeters. One centimeter. Five millimeters.
Four. Three. Two . . .
Just before their lips could meet, a tear rolled down Asuka's cheek,
followed by a light sniffle. That stopped Shinji's approach and made him
back up a bit. Shinji looked Asuka over as he tried to determine why she
was crying. As he observed the auburn-haired maiden before him, I was
trying to read her emotions. I sensed an overpowering emotion from her,
although I couldn't quite place it yet.
"Don't," Asuka said sleepily. "Don't leave me alone. Stay here with me.
Don't go!" Trembling and still asleep, Asuka pulled Shinji closer to her
as I finally understood what I sensed. Fear. Fear is what I felt from
Asuka. I felt that Shinji and I had to help her somehow. I couldn't
interfere with her dreams, because I was afraid I'd make them worse. We
had no choice; Shinji would have to comfort her.
Me: "Shinji."
Shinji: "Yeah, Kurt. What is it?"
Me: "Something's really scaring Asuka. I won't go in her dreams
because I might make them worse. So you'll have to comfort her."
Shinji: "How am I going to do that?"
Me: "I'll tell you. It's time to teach you another one of the
things all women have in common. Thankfully, this can be applied to
the current situation."
Shinji: "What is it?"
Me: "All women have certain vulnerable points. When these points
are properly stimulated, a woman will almost instantly calm. One of
these points is just below the left shoulder blade."
Shinji: "Why there?"
Me: "Easy. They can't reach it when it itches. This itch can
actually worsen when a woman is wearing a bra, because it rubs up
against this spot. In order to properly exploit this sensitive point,
you must scratch that spot. It is virtually guaranteed to work,
unless the woman is sore. Then it just makes her mad. Given our
current predicament, it is in our interests to start slowly and
gently. If Asuka is still uncomfortable, adjust the speed and
strength of the scratching motion until we achieve the desired
effect."
Shinji: "And what is the desired effect?"
Me: "Asuka stops crying and trembling, and her grip on you may
loosen."
Shinji: "But what if the back scratch doesn't work?"
Me: "Good question. (After a moment) Wing it!"
Shinji: "Huh?"
Me: "You'll have to do this yourself. I can only suggest that you
don't try to wake Asuka up, since I have no idea what she'll do to
you."
Shinji: "Okay, I'll remember that."
Me: "Good luck, Shinji."
Shinji: "Thanks, I'll need it."
Shinji slowly wrapped his arms around Asuka and began to gently scratch her
back. Oddly enough, he decided to scratch underneath both shoulder blades.
[Better safe than sorry.] He started with an up-and-down motion with
limited success. Asuka calmed a little, but neither her tears nor her hold
on Shinji lessened.
After he sighed, Shinji scratched her back in a circular motion. He
experimented with different ways to scratch Asuka's back. He scratched her
back in a clockwise manner, then counterclockwise. Asuka calmed a little
more after each try, but still hadn't stopped crying. Then Shinji used his
right hand to scratch her left shoulder blade clockwise while his left
scratched her right shoulder blade counterclockwise. This made Asuka calm
down even more, but it still wasn't enough. Even when Shinji went in
reverse, Asuka couldn't calm down.
Suddenly, inspiration must have struck Shinji. He stopped scratching
Asuka's back and pulled her closer to him. He brushed a stray strand of
the Germanic beauty's red hair with his right hand and gently caressed her
face. Shinji gently rocked Asuka in his arms before he kissed her. He
didn't kiss her on the lips like he tried to before, but rather he kissed
her forehead. After he gave Asuka two light kisses to her forehead, Shinji
brought his face close to her ear. Before he resumed scratching Asuka's
back, he whispered to her, "Everything will be all right. I'll stay with
you. Sweet dreams, Asuka."
As Shinji spoke those soft words, Asuka finally calmed down completely,
succumbing to the brown-haired pilot's gentle caress. As Shinji drifted to
sleep, he saw one of the most heavenly sights his young eyes had ever seen.
Right before his eyes, we saw Asuka sleeping with an absolutely serene
smile on her face. It was the kind of smile that you see when someone
knows that everything will be all right. I could tell the sight moved
Shinji, as a similar smile was on his face.
Me: "Shinji. (After a minute) Shinji! Hello, earth to Shinji, come in
Shinji!"
Shinji: "Huh? What is it now Kurt?"
Me: "Where did that idea come from? I know I told you to wing it,
but I don't know how you got the idea of holding Asuka like that! I
have to admit, it was impressive how you got her calm. No offence,
but I didn't think you had that much confidence."
Shinji: "I suddenly remembered something my mother did whenever I was
afraid. She used to hold me like that and would whisper soothing
words in my ear. Sometimes, she'd sing a song to calm me down. It's
funny; I couldn't remember it until I saw Asuka crying like that. The
memory just came from thin air, and I just felt like it would work on
her. I'm glad it did, because I don't think I would've seen her smile
like that."
Me: "Me too. I didn't even think she could make that kind of
smile."
Shinji: "I saw her make that smile before."
Me: "Really? When? Where?"
Shinji: "In the entry plug. She made that smile right after we
defeated the angel."
Me: "Wow. I'm impressed. (Teasingly) Maybe she only smiles like
that for you."
Shinji: (Yawning) "I'm too tired to deal with your teasing, Kurt.
Good night."
Me: "Good night, Shinji. (after a moment of thought) Hey, Shinji."
Shinji: (Annoyed and tired) "What now, Kurt?"
Me: "Considering how close you are to Asuka right now, I'll have to
make sure certain bodily reactions are in check."
Shinji: "Huh?"
Me: "In other words, I'm going to make sure that you don't have
morning wood, so Asuka won't kill you."
Shinji: "Good thinking. Now let me sleep."
As Shinji slept, I worked on keeping his hormones under control. First, I
tried redirecting them to his arms, but that made Shinji's hands head south
on Asuka. I had to override that action before we all had a rude
awakening. Then I tried directing the hormones towards his back, but all
that did was make the sensation of Asuka's arms around him more arousing.
It really didn't help that her arms roamed a bit. Finally, I redirected
the hormones to his feet. [There's no way those could cause any trouble,
right?] Thankfully, all that it did was make Shinji's legs wrap around
Asuka's. If anything, I just prevented Asuka from kicking Shinji in the
morning. Figuring that nothing will happen in the morning, I decided to
check on the sleeping pilots' dreams.
First, I checked Shinji's dream. It appears that my efforts to prevent an
early demise resulted in giving him more, um, pleasant dreams. I'll
abbreviate the details. Shinji. Asuka. Rei. Hot tub. King-size bed.
Massage oil. Use your imagination. To say the very least, he was sleeping
with a smile on his face.
After making a mental note to talk to Shinji about the limits of human
flexibility, I went over to Asuka's head to check on her dreams. I quickly
found Asuka's control center and watched the replay of her dream. A
younger Asuka stood under a spotlight with dozens of people around her. As
she grew, people started walking into the shadows just beyond the light.
One by one, they left, ignoring Asuka's desperate pleas for them to stay.
Finally, only Kaji remained. She clung to Kaji, still begging for him to
stay. In response, he held Asuka and rocked her gently. As he slowly
kissed her forehead, Kaji morphed into Shinji. Asuka gasped a little at
the sudden and confusing change. The shock slowly turned into delight as
Shinji held the temperamental German closer to him.
I switched to the live feed, which stayed at the same scene. When Shinji
turned her around and whispered in her ear, Asuka's dream switched to Unit
02's entry plug, during the Angel battle. After her and Shinji defeated
the Angel, Shinji nibbled on her left ear. Asuka turned around and gave
the dream Shinji a deep, passionate kiss. She let Shinji's hands roam
around her as she did the same for him. It was at this point that I heard
a sound. I recognized the sound as the song, "Let's Get It On." [Well, at
least she knows some mood music.] After identifying the song, I looked
back at the scene and deleted my mental note. [Guess I don't have to worry
about Asuka not being flexible enough.]
I didn't know what was happening outside the dream, so I left Asuka's body
to investigate. Sure enough, she was pressing her body into Shinji's and
softly moaned into his neck. "Damn it!" I said to myself. "Now I have to
go back to work." [And I was going to talk to Kyoko about the early
portion of Asuka's dream.] Suddenly, it hit me. [What if Asuka begins to
moan loud enough to wake Misato?] "Dear God," I pleaded, "please keep
Asuka quiet. I don't think Shinji will survive the combined assault of
Asuka and Misato." I quickly had to get back to redirecting hormones and
blood flow, as it was 4:30 am. I redirected the blood to his hands and
brain. Likewise, I directed the hormones to Shinji's arms and legs. Again
they made their previous movements, thus both preventing Asuka from harming
Shinji when they woke and making the redhead moan a little louder.
Fortunately, she had buried her head in his shoulder, so the sound was
muffled.
This time I'd have to stay in Shinji to insure that his reactions are still
impaired. Suddenly, Asuka's grip on Shinji tightened as her body tensed.
I'm guessing that her whole body blushed, since she suddenly warmed up.
Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Asuka was
thoroughly enjoying the direction her dream went. It was pretty obvious to
any conscious person or mind.
As the first rays of daylight swept across the sky, I realized a new
problem. Shinji and I knew how long Misato slept, but not how long Asuka
would sleep. Shinji would be waking up pretty soon, and that might do more
harm than good. I had to keep Shinji asleep for a bit longer, until I knew
what to do. In my panic, I turned the internal alarm clock off and
accidentally hit the dream replay button. [Damn it, why does the replay
button have to be so close to the snooze button.] I decided to forgo
messing with his hormones and just stick to redirecting the blood flow. I
allowed only the minimum amount of blood head towards its previous
destination. The rest of the blood was distributed equally throughout the
rest of the body.
As Misato opened her eyes, she noticed three things. She wasn't in her
apartment and hadn't had a beer since yesterday morning, and Shinji wasn't
asleep on the floor. She got out of bed and was about to go look for her
roommate, when she noticed a large lump in Asuka's bed. Something didn't
add up in her head: Shinji should have been on the floor, and Asuka's bed
looked like it had two people in it.
Fear for her life and her job was apparent from the sweat on her brow. Her
fears grew as only two possibilities played through her mind. Either Asuka
jumped Shinji, or she strangled our hero and was planning to use a self-
defense argument. Misato knew that Shinji couldn't take the initiative and
make an advance on any woman. She also knew that he wouldn't harm another
person if it could be helped, so he wouldn't have put up much resistance in
either scenario.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Misato decided to approach the bed and
see if she was right. As she looked at the sleeping form of Asuka in
Shinji's arms, Misato released the breath she unconsciously held. She knew
her roommate wasn't dead because his breath stirred some of the sleeping
German's red hair. Every time her hair moved across her neck, Asuka
tightened her grip on Shinji and nuzzled his shoulder. (Misato) [Wait a
minute! She's got her arms wrapped around my little Shinji! What the hell
happened last night? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this! Hmm, now which
one should I wake first, Shinji or Asuka? I'd better wake Shinji, since
he'd give a better answer than Asuka.]
As Misato was about to shake Shinji awake, she saw a genuinely serene smile
on the sleeping pilot's face. It made her rethink how she would wake
Shinji. After a couple moments of thinking, Misato brought her face closer
to Shinji's. She said in a voice just loud enough for the young boy to
hear, "Shinji. Wake up, sleepyhead."
Shinji slowly opened his eyes as he heard the voice and looked at his
surroundings. He smiled a bit as he looked at the sleeping beauty in his
arms, but it was the sight of Misato that made him fully awake. "M-M-
Misato!" Shinji whispered. "I can explain."
"You'd better explain, and fast," Misato sternly said in the same soft
voice she used to wake Shinji. She knew that Asuka was someone you'd have
to wake gently, for safety reasons. Sensing that Misato wouldn't go until
he explained himself, Shinji told Misato about last night, carefully
omitting the internal dialogs I shared with him. As Shinji recalled his
interesting night, Misato's face changed from a stern officer's to a soft
mother's. "Aw," Misato cooed. "That's so sweet. (Teasingly) My Shinji's
got a girlfriend."
"Misato! She's not my girlfriend," Shinji blushed at the statement. "I
just don't like seeing someone cry. I don't know exactly why she cried,
but it was tearing me apart. I can't just sit back and watch her suffer,
so I did my best to comfort her."
"I understand. You just wanted to help, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Well that's good. I'm gonna bathe and get ready, so you just stay here,"
Misato said with a small twinkle in her eyes.
"Okay. See you when you get back Misato," Shinji whispered. He then
turned his attention back to the angelic form in his arms. "You know what,
Asuka? You may be cute when you're awake, but you're absolutely gorgeous
when you're asleep. (To himself) It figures that I can say stuff like this
only when nobody can hear me. How pathetic."
Misato came back about a half hour later, clean, sober, and fully clothed.
"Shinji?" she asked. "Would you wake sleeping beauty up?"
"Okay, I'll wake her."
"Wake her up gently, Shinji. She doesn't quite like being shaken."
"Okay, Misato." Shinji swept back a few stray strands of Asuka's fiery
hair before carefully drawing himself closer to her ear. "Asuka," he
whispered. "It's morning. Time to wake up." All Asuka did was bury her
head further into his shoulder and mumble, "Just five more minutes."
Shinji, never one to question a woman's request, waited five more minutes
before renewing his effort to wake the German fireball resting comfortably
beside him. During this period, Shinji observed the young maiden sleeping
in front of him. He noticed the soft texture and creamy color of Asuka's
skin. Her ears weren't pierced, but rather they had a natural indentation
that could easily be mistaken for a piercing. Shinji absently noticed that
Asuka's hair smelled of strawberries and cream, with just a hint of LCL.
The scent had an intoxicating effect on the brown-haired pilot. Shinji was
so entranced by the German beauty's hair that he failed to notice Asuka
beginning to awaken.
Asuka wasn't entirely awake when she opened her eyes, seeing Shinji holding
her to him. Believing that she was still dreaming, Asuka said in a sultry
voice, "Mmm, Shinji, you were wonderful."
"Huh?" Shinji muttered, puzzled at the young Fraulein's statement. [What in
the hell was she dreaming about last night? Better yet, do I want to
know?] He looked at Misato, who currently was chuckling softly. As Misato
felt his gaze, she motioned for Shinji to play along with Asuka for a
little longer. Shinji blinked his acknowledgement, partly because he
wanted to know what went through the redhead's mind, and partly to have a
little fun.
"Well," Shinji softly said to Asuka, "I aim to please."
"You did, alright," said Asuka, before leaning in for a kiss.
Shinji froze, as Asuka got closer to his lips. He couldn't believe that
she was about to kiss him, as he tried to last night. As the distance
between them closed, Shinji shut his eyes in preparation for this new
experience. He absently wondered if Asuka's lips would taste like
strawberries. His friends had discussed the whole notion of kissing with
him once. They told him that every girl's kiss has a different taste.
Just moments before the teens' lips met, Misato cleared her throat, loudly.
Shinji quickly pulled back as Asuka gave him a confused look. It took a
few moments for Asuka's brain to register three facts. First, she wasn't
dreaming. Second, somehow, Shinji was lying comfortably with her in bed.
Third, they had an audience. Using the complex calculus she learned in
college, she put two and two together and came up with . . . five.
Indeed, something about this whole scenario didn't quite add up. [How did
Shinji get in my bed? Why did he get in my bed? And why are his arms
around me?] It wasn't that she didn't like it, because she did.
Considering her dream, Asuka found it pleasantly ironic that the focus of
the latter part of said dream was really in bed with her. The questions
she asked herself were pushed aside as she remembered that she had an
audience.
Asuka collected her thoughts as she prepared to save face. She took a
long, deep breath before . . . "Baka-Hentai!" Asuka screamed as Shinji
jumped off the bed, thus taking both of them tumbling to the floor. "How
dare you! You'd better explain yourself quick! And it better be good, or
I'll . . . "
"Now, Asuka," Shinji said as he crawled backwards from the redhead, "I-I
can explain. Just give me a minute . . . "
Misato, struggling to keep her composure, giggled. That giggle turned into
a chuckle, which progressed into a soft laugh. Within seconds, Misato was
holding her stomach as she let loose hysterical laughter, the likes of
which I've never before witnessed. "You should have seen the look on your
face, Asuka," Misato said between breaths. "It *Ha* was so *Hehe* funny.
It was almost as priceless as Shinji's when I woke him up."
"You mean you woke HIM up before ME?" roared a red-faced Asuka as steam
blew from her ears in embarrassment. "How long was he up?"
"Oh, I'd say about forty-five minutes."
"WHAT! I hope you had the sense to stay in the room that whole time!"
Asuka was now angry.
"Actually," Misato said weakly, "I was gone for a half hour"
"YOU WERE WHAT?" Okay, now Asuka had gone from angry to absolutely pissed
off. "He could have done something perverted while you were gone. Did you
ever think about that?"
For the sake of my host and his guardian, I decided to once more press the
confidence switch. [Damn, I hope this works!] "Asuka," Shinji said in a
calm, tranquil voice, "I was only admiring the wondrous beauty of your
face. I wouldn't dream of doing anything to ruin your magnificent pristine
form."
The flames that were circling Asuka's head died down from Shinji's comment.
Slowly, she made her way to Shinji, knelt down, and stared straight into
his eyes. "Now listen here, Third Child," Asuka hissed. "If I ever find
out that you've lied to me, I'll crush your balls into dust and put them in
a dust buster. Got it?"
"Y-Y-Yes, ma'am," gulped Shinji, suddenly crossing his legs in fear.
"Good," Asuka said before switching to a cheery voice. "Let's eat!"
#####################END FLASHBACK#########################
Today, Shinji has school and a synch test. He was still a little concerned
about Asuka. She's currently living in the barracks at NERV HQ. We've
heard that Shinji's father living in that same building. Personally, I
feel a great deal of pity for anyone who lives in the same block as Gendo,
let alone the same building.
To Be Continued
**************************************************************
AN: I've been racking my brain trying to finish this flashback. I know
what I'll have happen after the flashback, but it may take me a while to
really finish this chapter. School's about to start up again, so it may be
another couple months till the next update. I may decide to not make this
a flashback.
AN: I've decided that I'm splitting Chapter Two into two parts. The
length of the flashback was an unexpected development. The next part