Title: A Sorta Fairytale
Author: Brie (chrys_kitty@yahoo.com or irish_martyr@yahoo.com)
Pairing: Bill Weasley/Remus Lupin, implied Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (from one POV)
Rating: G
Comments: A somewhat sad, perfectly innocent Bill/Remus one-shot. ^^ Written for remus_no_miko because I was bored and needed something to do. She wanted a fic with Remus but couldn't decide who to put him with, so of course I had to choose, and who better than my lovely Bill? XD Aah, I do love that boy. Anyway, yes. Minor OotP spoilers, but everyone's read it anyway, so. ^~
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be. Sigh.
Lying asleep with his cheek supported on one arm, a slight smile on his face, Remus Lupin breathed quietly, his honey brown hair fluttering softly to rest in his eyes. Before him lay strewn papers of parchment, the writings incomplete and loosely organized, a quill discarded in a bottle of ink half-empty. As he shifted his robes inched a little bit farther down his arms, the fabric gathering just along his forearms, long since slipped from where he had originally rolled them to. The only other sounds in the kitchen where he rested so peacefully were the gentle humming of an enchanted icebox until there was a slight groan and creak as a handle was turned and a door pushed open.
Snow clinging lightly to his hair and shoulders, Bill Weasley stepped carefully onto the linoleum, his boots offering little traction after carrying him through partially melted drifts and puddles. He brought with him the chill and comfort of the cool night air, snowflakes swirling around his arms as the air spiked and sent tufts of fine white powder into his pinkened cheeks. Rubbing his palms together, Bill brought them to his mouth, blowing lightly as he toed the door shut behind him, a greeting dying on his lips as his gaze fell on the sleeping form at the table.
It was rare to find the older man in a moment where his guard was down. Certainly when one looked at Remus, they didn't immediately think of someone who was constantly keeping his emotions under a tight reign, but then, most people didn't look very much farther past what they were presented. It was much easier that way, to accept only what was given, and never make the effort to find out just why there were faint worried lines around his eyes or why his lips seemed always just a bit drawn, just a bit more thin every time he came 'round.
Shaking his head just slightly, Bill reached up absently and drew a finger across his cheekbone, wiping away the melted remains that had slid down from his eyelashes. Had someone not known where he had been, he supposed it would have looked like he was crying, what with the color the bite of the wind had slapped into his face and the moisture slowly winding down his cheeks. Bill couldn't honestly remember the last time he had cried, however; he was always the shoulder for someone else to lean on, the pillar that kept those he cared for from crumbling. He did not mind.
Bill shrugged his deep red cloak from his shoulders and set it along the back of an empty chair to reveal a thick green sweater with a large 'B' emblazoned on it, the collar of his dress shirt folding over the neck of it, cuffs of his sleeves curling over the ends, buttons undone. His jeans, dark blue and worn, were slightly damp from the moisture in the air, and as he walked his wand tapped lightly against one leg, the map at his hip brushing the other.
As he weaved his way around the table, careful to avoid brushing against Remus' chair, a soft hum fell past his lips. With a flick of his wrist he had some water boiling, and was reaching up to gather herbs from the cupboards to brew some tea when there was a slight stirring behind him.
Glancing over his shoulder, both his eyebrows rose just slightly as he saw Remus yawn, reaching up with one thin hand to attempt to stifle it. There were pink imprints on the cheek that had rested on his arm, and his eyes were a bit bemused and unfocused as he slowly woke, gazing around at his surroundings in quiet amusement for a moment before he rested his eyes on Bill. "Bill. It's good to see you."
Offering him a half-smile, Bill replied easily, "Hey. Sorry if I woke you up."
Remus shook his head, slowly unfolding himself to stretch his cramped limbs. Certainly that hadn't been the best position to fall asleep in. "No, don't worry about it. I needed to be awake anyhow to finish this up." He gestured toward the parchment before him, automatically reaching to straighten the loose sheets.
"I've made some tea." Turning over two teacups, Bill filled them carefully with the sweet-smelling tea and carried the tray over, setting it between them. "What're you working on?"
"Thank you..." Remus murmured, reaching for a cup and curling his fingers around the handle. "Some articles for a Muggle magazine."
Though Bill continued to smile he was frowning faintly at the same time, giving him a mildly perplexed expression. Being a werewolf, he knew how difficult it was for Remus to find a job in the Wizarding world; people like Dolores Umbridge made that nearly impossible. It was even more difficult still for him to get steady, well-paying work in the Muggle world, as employers generally did not allow employees off for a week at a time every month without becoming suspicious and demanding reasons. Reasons that Remus, naturally, could not supply.
Which left him reduced to writing simple articles that he could send in by mail and produce at his own pace. He was not hindered by a set schedule this way, and could function around the cycle of the moon, but it did not bring in much in the way of money. It was not just in his eyes that a gentle man like Remus should be held to the long feared image of a werewolf, violent and bloodthirsty, and not given the same opportunities as everyone else. But then, a lot of the world was not fair.
Expression clearing, he inquired politely, "Having any luck?"
Carefully setting his quill aside to dry, Remus brought the tea to his lips and held it there for a moment as he replied. "It's coming well enough, I suppose." He took a small sip of his tea and blinked. "Peppermint."
Bill nodded and said almost lazily, "It'll help you sleep better."
Faintly unsettled by the comment, Remus glanced over at him curiously, beginning softly, "Thank you for the thought, Bill..." He trailed off as Bill waved a hand through the air dismissively.
"Nah, it's nothing. I've just notice that you aren't sleeping well lately, is all. Been worried," he added, wondering at the slightly puzzled expression on Remus' face. "Mum has too."
Remus allowed that comment to settle on the air, glancing down at the tea Bill had brewed for him. It was true that he had found it difficult to sleep lately, owing to several rather pressing and difficult circumstances. He was worried about Harry, for one thing; it was almost impossible to reach him lately, and he seemed to be drawing even further into himself. There was also the matter of Voldemort, and his growing influence in the Wizarding population... and Sirius.
It still hurt whenever he thought of him, a slow, torturous wrenching in his chest. He'd cared for Sirius, perhaps more than he should have, and had never told him at risk of being rejected. He'd put his own fears before his feelings, and now he was reaping the consequences of that. He carried the burden of his unspoken confession alone, and it was slowly tearing him apart.
But that Bill had noticed... it was strange. No one else had commented or made any indication that he had been acting differently from his usual quiet demeanor. As it was, everyone was busy with their own problems, and he did not blame them for that. The only person he had really been close to in the Order was Sirius; without him, he was a drifter, not really part of the circle of friends, but not really a stranger to it, either. It was awkward. He hadn't thought that anyone really noticed him.
Bringing the tea to his mouth once more, he sipped it and murmured, "Thank you..."
Whether Bill read more into that statement or not he did not say. He merely smiled and sipped his own tea, saying conversationally, "I was out fraternizing with some Muggles tonight. You heard about the disturbance on Scotland, didn't you?" He added, brows drawing lightly together.
Some Muggles had fallen victim to a masked wizard's boredom. He'd been in Hogsmeade at the time, collecting some things to bring back to Grimmauld Place, when he'd gotten wind of it.
"Ah, yes, I did..." Remus' light brows drew together faintly. "Everything was all right, I hope?"
"Yeah. Had to obliviate a few people, though. I... really don't like doing that."
Remus murmured an acquiescence softly. As the days had gone by he had assumed the pain of losing Sirius, the one person he cared for most taken away from him so quickly. He hadn't been prepared at all; hadn't said goodbye. It tore at him so badly some days that wished to simply forget, will it all away, and leave the pain behind. But somehow, he felt that he would be betraying Sirius, and he didn't think he could stand to live without the memories, good and bad. Because they were what kept him sane when things became too horrible to bear. It hurt to remember, but in feeling pain he remembered that he was still alive. As long as he was alive, Sirius was as well, inside of him.
"I've lost you."
"Hm?" Remus glanced over, startled out of his thoughts, and attempted a smile. It was tinged with sadness, however, and he found that his facial muscles would not cooperate with him.
Setting his teacup down, Bill said in a slow, calm voice, "It's not good to dwell on the pain for so long, Remus. It'll break you."
Amber eyes widening a bit, Remus slowly rose from his chair and glanced away, taking his tea with him as he crossed toward a window, one arm looping slackly around his waist. The words he had spoken had a strong effect on Remus; if not only because he had used his first name for the very first time, but the fact that they were accurate. Bill was unnervingly perceptive and seemed to notice things that he tried to hide. It was as if he was made of spun glass, fragile and transparent, his feelings and thoughts left bare to be seen. He wasn't entirely certain how that thought made him feel, aside from vaguely uneasy.
Knowing that he needed time, Bill allowed him to stand there alone for a few moments and just watched him, slow pangs of something akin to pity washing over him. There was a need there as well, one to comfort and care for, and he found that he wanted to reach out and take away all the worries and factors that troubled him. He wanted to simply envelop Remus in an embrace free of restrictions and demands, and let him know that he did not always have to be strong for others.
But then, this was not an entirely new sensation for Bill; he had always been the person in his circle of acquaintances to watch and manage everyone else, make certain that the people he cared about held fast and made it through the difficult times. He could recognize that right now, Remus needed someone, needed to be allowed to be comforted. He did not know, however, whether or not he realized it.
Slowly pulling himself to a standing position, Bill lingered a few moments' time before gradually coming to rest beside Remus. He left a few steps' distance between them. "I apologize if I was out of line."
Still studying the gentle flurry of snowflakes outside the window laced with ice, Remus shook his head and murmured, "No… It's just a bit unnerving, is all."
"What is?"
Bit by bit, as if he were trying to find words as he spoke, he said faintly, "It's strange. You look at me and see what I am—so weary, so sad. I've… tried very hard to keep that from everyone else." Bill just stared at him for a few moments, expression indiscernible.
"I'm sorry," Remus began, finally turning to look at him. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"
Bill shook his head. "No, I was just thinking about you." When Remus merely blinked he continued on. "You notice things about people… and guard yourself so carefully. You always put everyone else first. It's not healthy, Remus. I'm worried."
His barrier stripped away, Remus gazed at Bill uncertainly, wondering what it was about the younger man that put him at ease and allowed him to feel just how tired he was. There was no need to put up a front because Bill saw past it. He could just be himself, if only for a few moments. He could feel, if only for a few moments….
Setting his tea aside carefully, Remus lowered his eyes and hesitantly stepped forward, slowly leaning his forehead down on Bill's shoulder. The red-haired man brought one arm up to fold Remus into his embrace, leaning his cheek against the side of his forehead, smiling a bit. He held him there for a time, allowing Remus' breathing to even and slow, feeling the tension seep away from his body as he sighed softly and allowed himself to rest against Bill.
Not wanting to take advantage of his state of mind, Bill drew back and tilted his chin up with one finger, his near translucent blue eyes very soft and expressive. "If you ever need someone to lean on, Remus, I'm here."
"I…" Remus didn't know what had just happened, but he knew the stirrings of something were rising inside of him. Friendship, perhaps, and he frowned a bit, parting his lips as if to speak more, but Bill carefully pressed one finger to them, smiling.
"Don't analyze this, Remus. Just… I'm here." His voice had quieted until it was almost inaudible, and he remained smiling even as he turned, striding leisurely from the room, his cloak still folded over one of the chairs.
Watching him go, Remus reached up to press two fingers to his lips briefly before he felt them lift into the first genuine smile he had experienced in quite a long time. As he moved to where Bill's cloak lay, picking it up carefully and running one hand across it briefly, he said softly, "Thank you, Bill."
