Disclaimer: This sick injustice of the world is as follows: We do not, nor will we ever, own Charmed. However, because we refuse to accept this sad and unfair fact, we will continue to use the characters in our twisted stories. I advise you not to try to explain to us our disillusions. The results would not be pretty.
AN: Twin A: Hello and welcome to our less than average
Twin B: agonizingly un-funny attempt at humour.
Parental discretion is NOT necessary. We really do not need that kind of hassle. We do, though, caution you against reading on if you are: 1) eating 2) under the age of 12 OR 3) in any way against playful and harmless insults. Thank you and review
FLAMING IS WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS!!
"I'm surprised you haven't run across an entry about the Sillies in the Book of Shadows," Leo told them, "Their history stretches back further than even Melinda Warren. The Sillies are so old, in fact, that even the stories about them are outdated and forgotten."
Piper rolled her eyes at him. Leo took that as encouragement, and glanced at Prue for the same. Prue jsut stared back at him with a blank expression. Well, it was an improvement from the constant scowl, anyway.
"The reason that it is so important that they are saved is because without them, the entire world is in jeopardy," he explained, pausing for dramatic purposes. Neither Prue nor Piper looked impressed. What else was new?
"The Elders want you to get Paige and rescue the Sillies from the gutter. If you fail, the world spins into chaos and things as you know it will dissolve," he finished in a grave voice. Wow, this was so different from every other time a demon showed up.
"So," Prue asked in her bored tone of voice, "after I-I mean we, although we know that I really do all the work around here anyway-rescue the Sillies, jsut what do you propose we do with them?"
"Return them to the 'happy little fields'," Leo said, using the tone he always used with Phoebe. The one that said 'Come here, little idiot girl, let me show you.'. Weren't they in the least bit concerned about what was going to happen?
"Leo, what exactly do the Sillies do?," Piper asked. Oooh, the million dollar question.
Leo glanced at her. Were they all morphing into Phoebes? "They enable people to engage in se-.."
"Leo, that kind of talk is hardly necessary!," Prue screeched, "Save the pillow talk for later."
"No," Phoebe insisted, "Let him talk!"
Leo shot her a grateful look, thought about it, and appeared horrified. Phoebe was grinning at him, her tongue practically hanging out of her mouth in a pant. Prying his eyes from her face, Leo concentrated on Piper.
"Right, anyway, as I was saying," he continued, quite disturbed, "You must return the Sillies to the "happy little fields". If you do not, the world will no longer be able to have se-.."
The doorbell rang, drowning out his last word. Sighing, Prue knocked Phoebe, who had been scrambling to get the door, out of the way and marched to the front door. Piper choked back a laugh when Phoebe hit the ground, then helped her halfway up and dropped her again when she heard Prue shout. Phoebe tumbled to the floor and Piper hurried to see what Prue was fussing about.
"Piper, can you get rid of this bimbo on our doorstep?," Prue demanded, waving a hand to indicate a very pale-skinned woman. Piper rolled her eyes and attempted to smile politely. The girl was sucking on a lollipop frantically, going at it like a...um, baby with a pacifier. Yeah.
"Can I help you?," Piper asked, still trying to use manners.
"Ah, screw it," Prue muttered and used telekinesis to throw the woman into the street.
"Prue, that wasn't very nice," Piper reprimanded tersely. Prue shrugged, a malicious smile spreading across her face.
"Maybe not, but at least it wasn't Phoebe this time," she pointed out. Piper sighed and shoved the door closed. Phoebe was wailing so loudly from the other room she didn't bother replying. Prue wouldn't have heard her anyway. At this very moment, she actually wished it had been Phoebe Prue had sent toppling into the street. Then, maybe a car could come speeding down the...
"Piper, make Leo heal me! I got an owie," Phoebe said in a wavering voice, holding up her carpet-burned elbow. Piper felt like back handing her, but gave Leo a warning look instead. He quickly placed his hand over Phoebe's 'wound'.
Prue watched her idiot sister curiously, still not quite sure how Phoebe managed to act like a child one minute, and a sex-crazed slut the next. Some people had all the good traits. Brains, beauty, sense of humour... Then, there was Phoebe. Shaking her head sadly, she tuned in back in to her family.
"Piper, you guys need to summon Paige somehow. You can't defeat Houdini without her," Leo was saying. Prue felt her fragile ego being attacked.
"There is nothing I can't do," she said loudly. Piper ignored her, quite used to the arrogant statements her sister made. Leo didn't even pause in his argument.
"The Elders are certain that if you face him with only Phoebe and Prue, you all will be destroyed," he continued, trying his best to be convincing.
"Hello, if we needed a little halfling to help us, Mom would have kept the mutt in the first place!," Prue interrupted once more.
"Prue!" Piper admonished, sighing. If this whole Paige thing was real, then it looked like Paige was going to be the new youngest. And if Prue's behavior with Phoebe was any guide to how she behaved toward her youngest siblings, then Piper was going to be in for double the middle sister duty. There were definitely times when she felt as though being the middle sister called for using the middle finger.
"So," she continued, looking at Leo now, "jsut how do you suggest we go about finding her?" Leo looked exasperated, sighing and rolling his eyes up toward "Them" in the way that only he could.
"You could try using a spell, using your magic!!! Honestly, you would think that you guys had never done this before...actually, you would think that you had never done this before every time we battle a new demon, since you have the same problems every single time..."
"Okay!" Prue broke in. "So, Leo, why don't you go and ask the Elders for more information, since we can't do anything without the help They provide and all, and we will sit here and wait like like the precious little angels we-or at least I-am. Or are. Or were." Grammar and tenses had never exactly been Prue's strong suit. Not thinking to doubt his charges one iota...despite the fact that Prue had pulled the whole 'you go do this and we'll wait, but then proceeded to sneak out the door' thing many, many times in the past. It could be chalked up to the fact that he was a very gullible...ahem, trusting whitelighter. Leo orbed away as he was told, and Prue smirked in truimph.
"Prue, if you really think that those damn Elders are going to help us out here, then you are even more delusional than your extreme pride and self-love leads me to believe already." Prue gave Piper an icy glare, resenting the slur on her perfect intelligence. Yes, perfect. Everything about her was perfect.
"Of course I don't." She snapped, "Those freaks are two senile to be of any help whatsoever. They are called 'Elders' for a reason, after all..." Piper did her best to disguise her laugh with a cough. Being the sweet middle sister certainly had it's drawbacks, one of which was that she wasn't really supposed to be mean ever. Jsut quiet. And innocent. Now Prue tugged on Piper's hand, pulling her toward the door.
"Grab Freebie." She ordered. Piper backed up.
"Prue, I'm not sure that we should go out and attempt this on our own...I think we should know more first..." Prue sighed in irritation. She loved her middle sister...especially when she compared her to the freak that was the youngest, but sometimes Piper's extreme scaredy cat qualities could be annoying. Well, that and the way that she dated all those demons, but that was beside the point...
"Piper, what more could we possible need to know?," Prue asked and Piper nearly choked on the air, which had suddenly become thick with an all-consuming pride. Smiling, Piper said the first thing that came to her mind.
"Well, for instance, where exactly the gutter is located," she suggested, feeling a burst of confidence hit her. Finally, she'd outdone Prue. Right?
"You must think I am a complete airhead, either that or you've somehow confused me with the Phoebs," Prue said coldly, "I know where the gutter is. I know all."
Phoebe suddenly decided to make an appearance in the conversation. After sitting on the floor twirling her hair for the past ten minutes, it was at least a more intelligent thing to do. Maybe.
"Prue, you don't know all! That's the Elder's job," Phoebe corrected her. Nope, she should have kept playing with her hair. Prue glared at her, but, because she wanted to continue with HER plan, chose to ignore the freak. Later, Phoebe would pay...Contented with the thought of the baseball bat hidden away in a closet, Prue turned her attention once again to Piper.
"Are you coming or not?," she demanded in a way that suggested that she would readily charge off alone. Piper nodded reluctantly, giving in as always. Prue grinned, pleased that her perfect plan was going along perfectly in the way that she had so perfectly planned it to go.
Piper dragged a screaming Phoebe away from the floor, while Prue got into her 'battle mode', which consisted of her screwing her face up in what was supposed to be an inimidating glare, but what usually ended up looking as though she was in dire need of a good lay.
"My hair was being all pretty. It was twisting up, and then un-twisting up," Phoebe protested loudly. Piper smiled placatingly. Jeez, she hated this job.
"If you come with us, we'll give you something shiny to play with," she offered. Phoebe giggled in delight, fully forgetting her earlier hair amusement. Piper smirked, pleased with herself. It worked every time...
Finally, the Charmed Ones were ready. Phoebe was equipped with new her new piece of aluminum foil, Piper with her leather, demon-dueling jacket, and Prue with...well, herself, which was more than adequate.
"Hey Prue," Piper called as they exited, leaving the door unlocked as per usual. Prue ignored her, completely distracted by the woman who was making her way up thier sidewalk.
"Not you again," she groaned, "I thought for sure I'd gotten rid of you!"
"No such luck," the woman stated, grinning, "I'm Paige." She stuck out her hand, which Piper warily accepted. Strange how this woman had the same name as their alleged youngest sister.
"Piper. This is Prue, and that," she said pointing at her younger sister, "is Phoebe. Now, what do you want?" Paige looked slightly offended, but quickly got over it.
"Never mind all that," Prue cut in, "Look, either you stay out of my way or I'm going to-"
"Prue," Piper warned reproachfully, "Paige, would you by any chance be an adopted child?" Paige gaped at her.
"Wow, are like, psychic or something?," she asked.
"Nope, she isn't, but I am!," Phoebe told her eargerly.
"Shut up, Phoebe," Prue growled hatefully. Phoebe sulked, but remained silent.
"I have an interesting story to tell you," Piper told Paige.
"Fine, Piper, if you insist on telling the half-breed, I mean Paige, about our...family, then you're telling her on the way to the gutter," Prue said angrily, furious at Piper for ruining her plan. Leaving no room for argument, Prue stalked off, knowing that her sisters would follow. After all, she was the best of them. Sniveling, ungrateful little...
AN: There you go, another chapter. Really sorries it took SOOOO long, but we were having jsut a tad bit of trouble. Hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review!
AN: Twin A: Hello and welcome to our less than average
Twin B: agonizingly un-funny attempt at humour.
Parental discretion is NOT necessary. We really do not need that kind of hassle. We do, though, caution you against reading on if you are: 1) eating 2) under the age of 12 OR 3) in any way against playful and harmless insults. Thank you and review
FLAMING IS WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS!!
"I'm surprised you haven't run across an entry about the Sillies in the Book of Shadows," Leo told them, "Their history stretches back further than even Melinda Warren. The Sillies are so old, in fact, that even the stories about them are outdated and forgotten."
Piper rolled her eyes at him. Leo took that as encouragement, and glanced at Prue for the same. Prue jsut stared back at him with a blank expression. Well, it was an improvement from the constant scowl, anyway.
"The reason that it is so important that they are saved is because without them, the entire world is in jeopardy," he explained, pausing for dramatic purposes. Neither Prue nor Piper looked impressed. What else was new?
"The Elders want you to get Paige and rescue the Sillies from the gutter. If you fail, the world spins into chaos and things as you know it will dissolve," he finished in a grave voice. Wow, this was so different from every other time a demon showed up.
"So," Prue asked in her bored tone of voice, "after I-I mean we, although we know that I really do all the work around here anyway-rescue the Sillies, jsut what do you propose we do with them?"
"Return them to the 'happy little fields'," Leo said, using the tone he always used with Phoebe. The one that said 'Come here, little idiot girl, let me show you.'. Weren't they in the least bit concerned about what was going to happen?
"Leo, what exactly do the Sillies do?," Piper asked. Oooh, the million dollar question.
Leo glanced at her. Were they all morphing into Phoebes? "They enable people to engage in se-.."
"Leo, that kind of talk is hardly necessary!," Prue screeched, "Save the pillow talk for later."
"No," Phoebe insisted, "Let him talk!"
Leo shot her a grateful look, thought about it, and appeared horrified. Phoebe was grinning at him, her tongue practically hanging out of her mouth in a pant. Prying his eyes from her face, Leo concentrated on Piper.
"Right, anyway, as I was saying," he continued, quite disturbed, "You must return the Sillies to the "happy little fields". If you do not, the world will no longer be able to have se-.."
The doorbell rang, drowning out his last word. Sighing, Prue knocked Phoebe, who had been scrambling to get the door, out of the way and marched to the front door. Piper choked back a laugh when Phoebe hit the ground, then helped her halfway up and dropped her again when she heard Prue shout. Phoebe tumbled to the floor and Piper hurried to see what Prue was fussing about.
"Piper, can you get rid of this bimbo on our doorstep?," Prue demanded, waving a hand to indicate a very pale-skinned woman. Piper rolled her eyes and attempted to smile politely. The girl was sucking on a lollipop frantically, going at it like a...um, baby with a pacifier. Yeah.
"Can I help you?," Piper asked, still trying to use manners.
"Ah, screw it," Prue muttered and used telekinesis to throw the woman into the street.
"Prue, that wasn't very nice," Piper reprimanded tersely. Prue shrugged, a malicious smile spreading across her face.
"Maybe not, but at least it wasn't Phoebe this time," she pointed out. Piper sighed and shoved the door closed. Phoebe was wailing so loudly from the other room she didn't bother replying. Prue wouldn't have heard her anyway. At this very moment, she actually wished it had been Phoebe Prue had sent toppling into the street. Then, maybe a car could come speeding down the...
"Piper, make Leo heal me! I got an owie," Phoebe said in a wavering voice, holding up her carpet-burned elbow. Piper felt like back handing her, but gave Leo a warning look instead. He quickly placed his hand over Phoebe's 'wound'.
Prue watched her idiot sister curiously, still not quite sure how Phoebe managed to act like a child one minute, and a sex-crazed slut the next. Some people had all the good traits. Brains, beauty, sense of humour... Then, there was Phoebe. Shaking her head sadly, she tuned in back in to her family.
"Piper, you guys need to summon Paige somehow. You can't defeat Houdini without her," Leo was saying. Prue felt her fragile ego being attacked.
"There is nothing I can't do," she said loudly. Piper ignored her, quite used to the arrogant statements her sister made. Leo didn't even pause in his argument.
"The Elders are certain that if you face him with only Phoebe and Prue, you all will be destroyed," he continued, trying his best to be convincing.
"Hello, if we needed a little halfling to help us, Mom would have kept the mutt in the first place!," Prue interrupted once more.
"Prue!" Piper admonished, sighing. If this whole Paige thing was real, then it looked like Paige was going to be the new youngest. And if Prue's behavior with Phoebe was any guide to how she behaved toward her youngest siblings, then Piper was going to be in for double the middle sister duty. There were definitely times when she felt as though being the middle sister called for using the middle finger.
"So," she continued, looking at Leo now, "jsut how do you suggest we go about finding her?" Leo looked exasperated, sighing and rolling his eyes up toward "Them" in the way that only he could.
"You could try using a spell, using your magic!!! Honestly, you would think that you guys had never done this before...actually, you would think that you had never done this before every time we battle a new demon, since you have the same problems every single time..."
"Okay!" Prue broke in. "So, Leo, why don't you go and ask the Elders for more information, since we can't do anything without the help They provide and all, and we will sit here and wait like like the precious little angels we-or at least I-am. Or are. Or were." Grammar and tenses had never exactly been Prue's strong suit. Not thinking to doubt his charges one iota...despite the fact that Prue had pulled the whole 'you go do this and we'll wait, but then proceeded to sneak out the door' thing many, many times in the past. It could be chalked up to the fact that he was a very gullible...ahem, trusting whitelighter. Leo orbed away as he was told, and Prue smirked in truimph.
"Prue, if you really think that those damn Elders are going to help us out here, then you are even more delusional than your extreme pride and self-love leads me to believe already." Prue gave Piper an icy glare, resenting the slur on her perfect intelligence. Yes, perfect. Everything about her was perfect.
"Of course I don't." She snapped, "Those freaks are two senile to be of any help whatsoever. They are called 'Elders' for a reason, after all..." Piper did her best to disguise her laugh with a cough. Being the sweet middle sister certainly had it's drawbacks, one of which was that she wasn't really supposed to be mean ever. Jsut quiet. And innocent. Now Prue tugged on Piper's hand, pulling her toward the door.
"Grab Freebie." She ordered. Piper backed up.
"Prue, I'm not sure that we should go out and attempt this on our own...I think we should know more first..." Prue sighed in irritation. She loved her middle sister...especially when she compared her to the freak that was the youngest, but sometimes Piper's extreme scaredy cat qualities could be annoying. Well, that and the way that she dated all those demons, but that was beside the point...
"Piper, what more could we possible need to know?," Prue asked and Piper nearly choked on the air, which had suddenly become thick with an all-consuming pride. Smiling, Piper said the first thing that came to her mind.
"Well, for instance, where exactly the gutter is located," she suggested, feeling a burst of confidence hit her. Finally, she'd outdone Prue. Right?
"You must think I am a complete airhead, either that or you've somehow confused me with the Phoebs," Prue said coldly, "I know where the gutter is. I know all."
Phoebe suddenly decided to make an appearance in the conversation. After sitting on the floor twirling her hair for the past ten minutes, it was at least a more intelligent thing to do. Maybe.
"Prue, you don't know all! That's the Elder's job," Phoebe corrected her. Nope, she should have kept playing with her hair. Prue glared at her, but, because she wanted to continue with HER plan, chose to ignore the freak. Later, Phoebe would pay...Contented with the thought of the baseball bat hidden away in a closet, Prue turned her attention once again to Piper.
"Are you coming or not?," she demanded in a way that suggested that she would readily charge off alone. Piper nodded reluctantly, giving in as always. Prue grinned, pleased that her perfect plan was going along perfectly in the way that she had so perfectly planned it to go.
Piper dragged a screaming Phoebe away from the floor, while Prue got into her 'battle mode', which consisted of her screwing her face up in what was supposed to be an inimidating glare, but what usually ended up looking as though she was in dire need of a good lay.
"My hair was being all pretty. It was twisting up, and then un-twisting up," Phoebe protested loudly. Piper smiled placatingly. Jeez, she hated this job.
"If you come with us, we'll give you something shiny to play with," she offered. Phoebe giggled in delight, fully forgetting her earlier hair amusement. Piper smirked, pleased with herself. It worked every time...
Finally, the Charmed Ones were ready. Phoebe was equipped with new her new piece of aluminum foil, Piper with her leather, demon-dueling jacket, and Prue with...well, herself, which was more than adequate.
"Hey Prue," Piper called as they exited, leaving the door unlocked as per usual. Prue ignored her, completely distracted by the woman who was making her way up thier sidewalk.
"Not you again," she groaned, "I thought for sure I'd gotten rid of you!"
"No such luck," the woman stated, grinning, "I'm Paige." She stuck out her hand, which Piper warily accepted. Strange how this woman had the same name as their alleged youngest sister.
"Piper. This is Prue, and that," she said pointing at her younger sister, "is Phoebe. Now, what do you want?" Paige looked slightly offended, but quickly got over it.
"Never mind all that," Prue cut in, "Look, either you stay out of my way or I'm going to-"
"Prue," Piper warned reproachfully, "Paige, would you by any chance be an adopted child?" Paige gaped at her.
"Wow, are like, psychic or something?," she asked.
"Nope, she isn't, but I am!," Phoebe told her eargerly.
"Shut up, Phoebe," Prue growled hatefully. Phoebe sulked, but remained silent.
"I have an interesting story to tell you," Piper told Paige.
"Fine, Piper, if you insist on telling the half-breed, I mean Paige, about our...family, then you're telling her on the way to the gutter," Prue said angrily, furious at Piper for ruining her plan. Leaving no room for argument, Prue stalked off, knowing that her sisters would follow. After all, she was the best of them. Sniveling, ungrateful little...
AN: There you go, another chapter. Really sorries it took SOOOO long, but we were having jsut a tad bit of trouble. Hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review!