-title: The Realization
-author: indulgance rodent
-email: hprice16@yahoo.com
-summary: After a battle, Jake goes to talk to Tobias and realizes something he hadn't noticed before.
-disclaimer: *walks up to podium, shuffles some papers and taps the microphone* i hereby declare that i own none of the characters that this story employs. they are the property of ms. applegate and scholastic, and i will gladly give them back when i've finished with them.
-author's note: i wrote this in the wee hours of the night/morning. hopefully it's coherent enough.. enjoy ^_^'
---
Though he and Marco had muttered their goodnights several hours before hand, Tobias lay awake on the floor while his companion snored. Afraid to move lest he kick some of the piles of stuff on the floor and make much noise, he stared silently into the darkness and wished to be anywhere else. His mind was filled with a storm of thoughts, mostly about that night. He and Jake had just started out; they hadn't planned on letting anyone know about them until they were more comfortable with the situation themselves. Now Marco knew, and that drastically changed everything. While Marco felt a deep loyalty and friendship for Jake, he'd never held Tobias in high regard at all, sometimes making fun of him before they'd all gotten thrown into the war together. Tobias also knew that Marco had always liked Rachel, and that his fellow soldier had very little class and might use it against him to win her affection. ((But is that a fair assumption?)) he wondered. ((Sure, Marco's done some pretty shallow things to get girls before, but maybe that would be going a bit far...))
Stretching his neck up, Tobias managed to get the red numbered digital clock on the desk nearby into his view. Almost 3:30am. He sighed and lay his head back down. "This is excruciating," he mumbled softly into his pillow. After a slight pause, he sat up slowly and groped the floor around him, reasoning that with all the junk Marco had in his room, a flashlight wasn't beyond hope. He froze when his hand landed on something long, narrow, and cold under his companion's bed. ((Easier than I'd thought,)) he smiled to himself. ((Here's hoping it's really a flashlight and not a dildo or something.)) Lifting it slowly, he clicked it on and shined it toward the direction of the door. Then, trying not to make much noise, the boy stood and stretched his cramped legs, surveying the room around him and planning his escape path. Over the dirty laundry, around the comic books, past the piles of action figures--door.
Upon reaching the living room, Tobias was surprised to find Marco's father in an easychair facing the television. The middle-aged man had his back to where Tobias stood, so the boy couldn't tell if he was awake or not. Holding his breath, he took a step toward the door and hoped for the best. A floorboard creaked; Tobias winced. "Hello?" a tired voice came from the chair. Marco's father turned around and stared at him curiously. "Tobias? What are you doing up at this hour?"
"Couldn't sleep," Tobias replied, edging toward the door. "I was just going to take a walk. I'm sorry if I disturbed you, Mr. Evans--"
"Don't worry about it, you didn't disturb me," Marco's father cut him off, waving a hand dismissively. "It's kind of cold, though. Don't you want a coat or something?" He gestured toward a chair a few feet away, upon which a zip-up hoodie was draped. "It's Marco's, but I don't think he'd mind."
((You'd be surprised,)) Tobias thought, but he pulled the jacket on and said, "Thanks, Mr. Evans. I'll try to be quiet when I come back." With that, he shuffled out the door and into the hallway. ((Aprtment 205-B,)) he memorized, ((third door on the left, second floor, second building...)) Getting lost didn't sound like a very fun idea, nor did knocking on random aparment doors until he got the right one.
Marco's father was right about the cold, which came in the form of winds that whipped strands of Tobias' hair into his face. The boy walked on auto-pilot, his feet taking over where his brain had stepped out. Off in his own little world, Tobias didn't know where he was going until he'd gotten there, but recognized the place as soon as he snapped out of it. Moonlight fell on a set of monkeybars, the wind rustled the chains on a swingest. For some reason or another, Tobias had always come to the primary school playground when he was upset in the past. He and Rachel had used it as a haven when things seemed crazy; Tobias remembered several occasions where the two of them had talked from atop a slide, made out underneath the jungle gym, and pushed each other on the swings until it seemed like there wasn't a war, just the two of them. He even thought he saw her sitting on the see-saw just like she had so many times. He realized with a jolt that she really -was- sitting there.
"Rachel?" he called softly.
As though somebody had screamed something profane, Rachel jumped and turned around. She looked him over carefully, surveyed every inch of him as thought making sure he was real. "Hey," she finally replied. Tobias stepped toward her, and she jerked her thumb at the see-saw next to hers. "You can come sit down if you'd like." The gravel beneath his feet crunched louder than he'd have liked as Tobias approached the oversized popsicle sticks, passed the seat offered to him, and went around to the other side. "What are you doing?" Rachel asked as the boy pushed down on her see-saw, lifting her into the air with a little effort.
"Sitting," he replied simply, bringing his side low enough to climb onto. He kicked off after he mounted, sending Rachel back to the ground. Neither of them spoke for several minutes after that, just see-sawed up and down like children. Soon, the rhythm of their shoes hitting the gravel was broken as Rachel didn't kick back up into the air. Tobias, feet dangling, cleared his throat and said, "I didn't expect to see you here, but I'm kind of glad you are."
"Likewise," Rachel murmurred. She furrowed her brow and looked up at him, stared him in the face for a few seconds, then looked down. "I miss you sometimes," she said, "a lot." With that, she kicked off harder than she had before, launching upward.
After being taken surprise by Rachel's kick, the now-sore Tobias replied, "I miss you, too, and just doing stupid stuff like this with you. Hanging out, talking. I'm still mad at you, by the way," he added, following the girl's example and sending her plummeting. He couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face when she hit the packed-down gravel and her hair flew every which way. "And while I have a pretty good idea as to why you shut me out, it still surprises me. I didn't think you were like that." Their see-sawing became rhythmic again, and silent. Up and down, Rachel always seemed to find something else to look at whenever they passed in mid-air.
"I'm sorry," Rachel mumbled, hardly audible. She sighed heavily and met his gaze, then spoke again, her words louder and more rushed. "I just ... I freaked when you told me that you were ... you know ... and it was wrong of me, I know that, but it seemed like everything was getting so weird when all I wanted was something stable, something--"
"Normal, I know," Tobias interrupted, touching down and peering up at her. He grinned and muttered, "You should know better than that by now, three years into the least normal times any of us have seen."
Rachel shook her head. "That's just it, Tobias," she replied. "I needed that normalcy -because- everything else was so fucked up, not in spite of it. The war, my family ... I needed you, and I needed something simple. What you told me, it was just one more thing, you know? But hey," she added, "I realize now that you're no more bizarre than you were before." Rachel winced, a red tinge colouring her face that Tobias could see even in the dark. "I didn't mean it like that, I swear. It's just that, well, I've been thinking a lot lately ... about us ... and the possibility of maybe--"
"No, Rachel," the boy interrupted again, looking up at her gravely, "there -isn't- a possibility." He watched her open her mouth to protest, then close it bitterly. Kicking off once more, Tobias went on, "I'm sorry, and I never dreamed that it would be like this, but I have to decline. Like you said, everything's fucked up, and we need something normal to grip onto. I found my 'something normal,' and ... even if it isn't really all that normal, I can't let go of it."
Pausing at the ground once more, Rachel asked, "Is there someone else?" The question hung in the air far longer than Tobias had meant it to. So many responses, most of them lies, had rushed to his brain at once that he didn't know what to say. Something of a snort came from Rachel, followed by, "Who is it?" She sounded so much angrier now, the warmth that had been creeping back into her tone all but vanished. Still at a loss for words, Tobias just bit his lip. "You ... you jerk, you..." Rachel trailed off, hands balled into fists. Another snort, and she stood quickly and walked off, sending Tobias crashing to the ground.
Hundreds of replies flew to his lips, but only one slipped out. "Now, I hardly think -I'm- the jerk in this situation," he whispered, laying half-off the see-saw in the gravel, watching Rachel stride off into the night.
----
-author: indulgance rodent
-email: hprice16@yahoo.com
-summary: After a battle, Jake goes to talk to Tobias and realizes something he hadn't noticed before.
-disclaimer: *walks up to podium, shuffles some papers and taps the microphone* i hereby declare that i own none of the characters that this story employs. they are the property of ms. applegate and scholastic, and i will gladly give them back when i've finished with them.
-author's note: i wrote this in the wee hours of the night/morning. hopefully it's coherent enough.. enjoy ^_^'
---
Though he and Marco had muttered their goodnights several hours before hand, Tobias lay awake on the floor while his companion snored. Afraid to move lest he kick some of the piles of stuff on the floor and make much noise, he stared silently into the darkness and wished to be anywhere else. His mind was filled with a storm of thoughts, mostly about that night. He and Jake had just started out; they hadn't planned on letting anyone know about them until they were more comfortable with the situation themselves. Now Marco knew, and that drastically changed everything. While Marco felt a deep loyalty and friendship for Jake, he'd never held Tobias in high regard at all, sometimes making fun of him before they'd all gotten thrown into the war together. Tobias also knew that Marco had always liked Rachel, and that his fellow soldier had very little class and might use it against him to win her affection. ((But is that a fair assumption?)) he wondered. ((Sure, Marco's done some pretty shallow things to get girls before, but maybe that would be going a bit far...))
Stretching his neck up, Tobias managed to get the red numbered digital clock on the desk nearby into his view. Almost 3:30am. He sighed and lay his head back down. "This is excruciating," he mumbled softly into his pillow. After a slight pause, he sat up slowly and groped the floor around him, reasoning that with all the junk Marco had in his room, a flashlight wasn't beyond hope. He froze when his hand landed on something long, narrow, and cold under his companion's bed. ((Easier than I'd thought,)) he smiled to himself. ((Here's hoping it's really a flashlight and not a dildo or something.)) Lifting it slowly, he clicked it on and shined it toward the direction of the door. Then, trying not to make much noise, the boy stood and stretched his cramped legs, surveying the room around him and planning his escape path. Over the dirty laundry, around the comic books, past the piles of action figures--door.
Upon reaching the living room, Tobias was surprised to find Marco's father in an easychair facing the television. The middle-aged man had his back to where Tobias stood, so the boy couldn't tell if he was awake or not. Holding his breath, he took a step toward the door and hoped for the best. A floorboard creaked; Tobias winced. "Hello?" a tired voice came from the chair. Marco's father turned around and stared at him curiously. "Tobias? What are you doing up at this hour?"
"Couldn't sleep," Tobias replied, edging toward the door. "I was just going to take a walk. I'm sorry if I disturbed you, Mr. Evans--"
"Don't worry about it, you didn't disturb me," Marco's father cut him off, waving a hand dismissively. "It's kind of cold, though. Don't you want a coat or something?" He gestured toward a chair a few feet away, upon which a zip-up hoodie was draped. "It's Marco's, but I don't think he'd mind."
((You'd be surprised,)) Tobias thought, but he pulled the jacket on and said, "Thanks, Mr. Evans. I'll try to be quiet when I come back." With that, he shuffled out the door and into the hallway. ((Aprtment 205-B,)) he memorized, ((third door on the left, second floor, second building...)) Getting lost didn't sound like a very fun idea, nor did knocking on random aparment doors until he got the right one.
Marco's father was right about the cold, which came in the form of winds that whipped strands of Tobias' hair into his face. The boy walked on auto-pilot, his feet taking over where his brain had stepped out. Off in his own little world, Tobias didn't know where he was going until he'd gotten there, but recognized the place as soon as he snapped out of it. Moonlight fell on a set of monkeybars, the wind rustled the chains on a swingest. For some reason or another, Tobias had always come to the primary school playground when he was upset in the past. He and Rachel had used it as a haven when things seemed crazy; Tobias remembered several occasions where the two of them had talked from atop a slide, made out underneath the jungle gym, and pushed each other on the swings until it seemed like there wasn't a war, just the two of them. He even thought he saw her sitting on the see-saw just like she had so many times. He realized with a jolt that she really -was- sitting there.
"Rachel?" he called softly.
As though somebody had screamed something profane, Rachel jumped and turned around. She looked him over carefully, surveyed every inch of him as thought making sure he was real. "Hey," she finally replied. Tobias stepped toward her, and she jerked her thumb at the see-saw next to hers. "You can come sit down if you'd like." The gravel beneath his feet crunched louder than he'd have liked as Tobias approached the oversized popsicle sticks, passed the seat offered to him, and went around to the other side. "What are you doing?" Rachel asked as the boy pushed down on her see-saw, lifting her into the air with a little effort.
"Sitting," he replied simply, bringing his side low enough to climb onto. He kicked off after he mounted, sending Rachel back to the ground. Neither of them spoke for several minutes after that, just see-sawed up and down like children. Soon, the rhythm of their shoes hitting the gravel was broken as Rachel didn't kick back up into the air. Tobias, feet dangling, cleared his throat and said, "I didn't expect to see you here, but I'm kind of glad you are."
"Likewise," Rachel murmurred. She furrowed her brow and looked up at him, stared him in the face for a few seconds, then looked down. "I miss you sometimes," she said, "a lot." With that, she kicked off harder than she had before, launching upward.
After being taken surprise by Rachel's kick, the now-sore Tobias replied, "I miss you, too, and just doing stupid stuff like this with you. Hanging out, talking. I'm still mad at you, by the way," he added, following the girl's example and sending her plummeting. He couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face when she hit the packed-down gravel and her hair flew every which way. "And while I have a pretty good idea as to why you shut me out, it still surprises me. I didn't think you were like that." Their see-sawing became rhythmic again, and silent. Up and down, Rachel always seemed to find something else to look at whenever they passed in mid-air.
"I'm sorry," Rachel mumbled, hardly audible. She sighed heavily and met his gaze, then spoke again, her words louder and more rushed. "I just ... I freaked when you told me that you were ... you know ... and it was wrong of me, I know that, but it seemed like everything was getting so weird when all I wanted was something stable, something--"
"Normal, I know," Tobias interrupted, touching down and peering up at her. He grinned and muttered, "You should know better than that by now, three years into the least normal times any of us have seen."
Rachel shook her head. "That's just it, Tobias," she replied. "I needed that normalcy -because- everything else was so fucked up, not in spite of it. The war, my family ... I needed you, and I needed something simple. What you told me, it was just one more thing, you know? But hey," she added, "I realize now that you're no more bizarre than you were before." Rachel winced, a red tinge colouring her face that Tobias could see even in the dark. "I didn't mean it like that, I swear. It's just that, well, I've been thinking a lot lately ... about us ... and the possibility of maybe--"
"No, Rachel," the boy interrupted again, looking up at her gravely, "there -isn't- a possibility." He watched her open her mouth to protest, then close it bitterly. Kicking off once more, Tobias went on, "I'm sorry, and I never dreamed that it would be like this, but I have to decline. Like you said, everything's fucked up, and we need something normal to grip onto. I found my 'something normal,' and ... even if it isn't really all that normal, I can't let go of it."
Pausing at the ground once more, Rachel asked, "Is there someone else?" The question hung in the air far longer than Tobias had meant it to. So many responses, most of them lies, had rushed to his brain at once that he didn't know what to say. Something of a snort came from Rachel, followed by, "Who is it?" She sounded so much angrier now, the warmth that had been creeping back into her tone all but vanished. Still at a loss for words, Tobias just bit his lip. "You ... you jerk, you..." Rachel trailed off, hands balled into fists. Another snort, and she stood quickly and walked off, sending Tobias crashing to the ground.
Hundreds of replies flew to his lips, but only one slipped out. "Now, I hardly think -I'm- the jerk in this situation," he whispered, laying half-off the see-saw in the gravel, watching Rachel stride off into the night.
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