Chapter 3: Secrets and Stupidity
Akane gave Ranma a disgusted glare. "Did you really think that I was that stupid. It was obvious. I've known ever since the night I found 'P-Chan'. Why do you think I didn't just give him a bath myself? Why do you think I had you do it?"
"But-but you slept with him. He was in your bed. You." Ranma was in shock.
"I was in my pajamas. I wasn't revealing anything." Akane replied.
"Yeah, but when I came in."
"You weren't a pig."
"Yeah, but what about the time when we thought there was a spring of drowned man under the locker room. You had only a bra on, and you hugged him to your breast."
"You were peeking." Akane was getting mad. "You pervert." Her mallet was out, and she looked dangerous.
"Who are you calling a pervert? Ryoga." Ranma pointed at him.
"Ryoga is an entirely different matter."
"Oh really." Ranma put his face right up to hers.
"Yes really." She didn't let him make her back down.
Ranma drew back, a smirk on his face. "Oh, now I get it."
"Get what?" Akane was still made, but his expression had put her off balance.
"You like him. You like Ryoga. That's why you don't mind squishing him against you. You'd like to do it when he was in." He got no further.
Akane was mad. She was radiating anger all over the place. Everyone but Ranma, who was smirking at her, Ryoga, who was looking hopeful, and Naru, who was watching the fight with interest, had backed as far away as possible in the room. Akane was in one of those moods where she didn't care who got hurt as long as Ranma was hurt in the bargain.
"I! Do! Not! Like! Ryoga!" She yelled at him through clenched teeth.
"Oh yeah? Then why are you always holding him as a pig?"
"I would rather hold him than you." She spat.
That hurt Ranma, but he didn't want her to know how much it hurt. So he went to his usual method of hiding the pain, insults. "Yeah, well I'd rather you held him then held me any day, Tomboy. I'd rather marry anyone than marry you."
"I'd rather marry Ryoga than marry you."
"Do that then. I'd rather marry Ukyo than you."
"I'd marry Mousse before I'd ever think about marrying you."
"I'd marry Shampoo rather than you."
"I'd rather marry Kunou than marry you."
"You know what? I'd rather marry Kodachi than you. At least she can cook."
"Fine. Marry Kodachi. See if I care. I'd rather marry Happousia than you."
She had done it. She had said the ultimate. Nothing could top that. Unfortunately, Happousia was listening and he took her at her word.
"Akane. You really feel that way." Tears ran down the old lech's face. "My darling, let's marry now. We can elope." He ran forward.
Or at least, he tried to. For some reason, he didn't get anywhere. This was because Naru had caught hold of his shirt and was keeping him in place. She lifted him up, smiling, and poked a point on his side.
As soon as she set him down, he looked up at her. Seeing that she was a very pretty girl who looked a lot like Ranma made him itch to feel her up. So he tried to spring at her.
That was when he discovered that he no longer had the use of his legs.
It would have been comical had the situation been different. But now, with Ranma and Akane facing off, no one spared it a second glance.
Naru decided that she had to put a stop to this. She marched up and got between Akane and Ranma, a very dangerous thing to do. Everyone drew in a sharp breath.
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen." She said icily to the two of them. "If you hate each other so much, then just break the engagement. Your parents can't force you to marry."
It was at this point that Soun and Genma decided that they didn't like her after all.
Akane frowned. "Don't tell that to me. Tell it to him. He's the one who can break the engagement. I have no objections." Naru turned to Ranma.
"If I break the engagement, I'll be re-engaged to Nabiki." He shuddered.
"But I thought you said you'd rather marry anyone than marry Akane." Naru smiled sweetly. "We all heard you say that."
Ranma sweatdroped. That wasn't fair. She wasn't supposed to be smart enough to come up with a good comeback. Nobody else was. "Well." He said reluctantly. "I would rather marry Akane than marry Nabiki. But only Nabiki is worse than Akane." He said hurriedly.
"Well then, break the engagement to Akane and don't let them engage you to Nabiki." She said. "Or Kasumi, as I see that that will be your next argument. We're past the age were you have to listen to your parents for this sort of thing. Arranged marriages are old fashioned. You don't have to go along with them."
Ranma said nothing. There was nothing he could say.
Naru watched Ranma's face. Naru was very good at reading feelings in people's bodies. In fact, she was so good that she could practically tell what people were thinking by watching them.
Satisfied with what she saw there, she turned to Akane. But before she could speak, Soun and Genma were standing before her.
"Girl, do not speak of things you know nothing about. Our children must marry to carry on the dojo and."
"Bullshit." Naru said derisively. "You can't force them to do anything. And they can carry on their own dojos without marrying, if they want to. But why should they."
"Girl." Genma began, but was interrupted by Naru's fist connecting with his face. "Ow. That hurt."
"Good. It was supposed to."
"If you weren't a girl." Once again Naru's fist interrupted him, this time in the stomach.
"Girls are not weak." She said quietly. "Girls can fight. Girls can become great martial artists." Her voice was rising in volume and fury. "Girls can fend for themselves. We do not need to be rescued all the time. We are not the weaker sex!" As she said this she lunged at both of them.
At first both of them thought that this would be an easy fight. She was a girl after all. However, they soon found that if they did not take her seriously, they got hurt. Both of them were so hard pressed to defend themselves that they forgot that this was a girl they were facing. They began to attack her as if she were Ranma. And she held them off as if she were Ranma. She dodged and punched and kicked so fast that she seemed to be everywhere at once. She was actually in the air and using their bodies rather than touching the ground. Then she did the best technique.
She kicked them in their groins.
Both of them fell to the floor, doubled over in pain. She landed on the ground lightly and walked up to them.
"In fact, I'd almost say we were stronger because of that little spot on your bodies." Her voice was quiet again. She walked over and grabbed their heads so that they were forced to look at her. "Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
They nodded.
"Good." She said, and pressed a point at the backs of their necks.
They passed out.
She turned back to the rest of the room.
Sometime during the fight the Kunous had regained consciousness and returned. Now Kunou was staring at Naru with his "you are a very pretty, very good, martial artist who I have to date because I love you" look.
Kodachi was just staring with astonishment.
Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki had a look of half-astonishment at her spectacular performance; half-pleasure at their father's getting what they deserved.
Shampoo was very glad that she and Naru had never fought because she didn't want to have to kill her friend.
Mousse was thinking that if he was that good Shampoo would be his.
Ukyo and Ryoga were just astonished.
She was good. She wasn't as good as Ranma. She wasn't quite as good as Ryoga. But she was damn close.
Akane gave Ranma a disgusted glare. "Did you really think that I was that stupid. It was obvious. I've known ever since the night I found 'P-Chan'. Why do you think I didn't just give him a bath myself? Why do you think I had you do it?"
"But-but you slept with him. He was in your bed. You." Ranma was in shock.
"I was in my pajamas. I wasn't revealing anything." Akane replied.
"Yeah, but when I came in."
"You weren't a pig."
"Yeah, but what about the time when we thought there was a spring of drowned man under the locker room. You had only a bra on, and you hugged him to your breast."
"You were peeking." Akane was getting mad. "You pervert." Her mallet was out, and she looked dangerous.
"Who are you calling a pervert? Ryoga." Ranma pointed at him.
"Ryoga is an entirely different matter."
"Oh really." Ranma put his face right up to hers.
"Yes really." She didn't let him make her back down.
Ranma drew back, a smirk on his face. "Oh, now I get it."
"Get what?" Akane was still made, but his expression had put her off balance.
"You like him. You like Ryoga. That's why you don't mind squishing him against you. You'd like to do it when he was in." He got no further.
Akane was mad. She was radiating anger all over the place. Everyone but Ranma, who was smirking at her, Ryoga, who was looking hopeful, and Naru, who was watching the fight with interest, had backed as far away as possible in the room. Akane was in one of those moods where she didn't care who got hurt as long as Ranma was hurt in the bargain.
"I! Do! Not! Like! Ryoga!" She yelled at him through clenched teeth.
"Oh yeah? Then why are you always holding him as a pig?"
"I would rather hold him than you." She spat.
That hurt Ranma, but he didn't want her to know how much it hurt. So he went to his usual method of hiding the pain, insults. "Yeah, well I'd rather you held him then held me any day, Tomboy. I'd rather marry anyone than marry you."
"I'd rather marry Ryoga than marry you."
"Do that then. I'd rather marry Ukyo than you."
"I'd marry Mousse before I'd ever think about marrying you."
"I'd marry Shampoo rather than you."
"I'd rather marry Kunou than marry you."
"You know what? I'd rather marry Kodachi than you. At least she can cook."
"Fine. Marry Kodachi. See if I care. I'd rather marry Happousia than you."
She had done it. She had said the ultimate. Nothing could top that. Unfortunately, Happousia was listening and he took her at her word.
"Akane. You really feel that way." Tears ran down the old lech's face. "My darling, let's marry now. We can elope." He ran forward.
Or at least, he tried to. For some reason, he didn't get anywhere. This was because Naru had caught hold of his shirt and was keeping him in place. She lifted him up, smiling, and poked a point on his side.
As soon as she set him down, he looked up at her. Seeing that she was a very pretty girl who looked a lot like Ranma made him itch to feel her up. So he tried to spring at her.
That was when he discovered that he no longer had the use of his legs.
It would have been comical had the situation been different. But now, with Ranma and Akane facing off, no one spared it a second glance.
Naru decided that she had to put a stop to this. She marched up and got between Akane and Ranma, a very dangerous thing to do. Everyone drew in a sharp breath.
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen." She said icily to the two of them. "If you hate each other so much, then just break the engagement. Your parents can't force you to marry."
It was at this point that Soun and Genma decided that they didn't like her after all.
Akane frowned. "Don't tell that to me. Tell it to him. He's the one who can break the engagement. I have no objections." Naru turned to Ranma.
"If I break the engagement, I'll be re-engaged to Nabiki." He shuddered.
"But I thought you said you'd rather marry anyone than marry Akane." Naru smiled sweetly. "We all heard you say that."
Ranma sweatdroped. That wasn't fair. She wasn't supposed to be smart enough to come up with a good comeback. Nobody else was. "Well." He said reluctantly. "I would rather marry Akane than marry Nabiki. But only Nabiki is worse than Akane." He said hurriedly.
"Well then, break the engagement to Akane and don't let them engage you to Nabiki." She said. "Or Kasumi, as I see that that will be your next argument. We're past the age were you have to listen to your parents for this sort of thing. Arranged marriages are old fashioned. You don't have to go along with them."
Ranma said nothing. There was nothing he could say.
Naru watched Ranma's face. Naru was very good at reading feelings in people's bodies. In fact, she was so good that she could practically tell what people were thinking by watching them.
Satisfied with what she saw there, she turned to Akane. But before she could speak, Soun and Genma were standing before her.
"Girl, do not speak of things you know nothing about. Our children must marry to carry on the dojo and."
"Bullshit." Naru said derisively. "You can't force them to do anything. And they can carry on their own dojos without marrying, if they want to. But why should they."
"Girl." Genma began, but was interrupted by Naru's fist connecting with his face. "Ow. That hurt."
"Good. It was supposed to."
"If you weren't a girl." Once again Naru's fist interrupted him, this time in the stomach.
"Girls are not weak." She said quietly. "Girls can fight. Girls can become great martial artists." Her voice was rising in volume and fury. "Girls can fend for themselves. We do not need to be rescued all the time. We are not the weaker sex!" As she said this she lunged at both of them.
At first both of them thought that this would be an easy fight. She was a girl after all. However, they soon found that if they did not take her seriously, they got hurt. Both of them were so hard pressed to defend themselves that they forgot that this was a girl they were facing. They began to attack her as if she were Ranma. And she held them off as if she were Ranma. She dodged and punched and kicked so fast that she seemed to be everywhere at once. She was actually in the air and using their bodies rather than touching the ground. Then she did the best technique.
She kicked them in their groins.
Both of them fell to the floor, doubled over in pain. She landed on the ground lightly and walked up to them.
"In fact, I'd almost say we were stronger because of that little spot on your bodies." Her voice was quiet again. She walked over and grabbed their heads so that they were forced to look at her. "Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
They nodded.
"Good." She said, and pressed a point at the backs of their necks.
They passed out.
She turned back to the rest of the room.
Sometime during the fight the Kunous had regained consciousness and returned. Now Kunou was staring at Naru with his "you are a very pretty, very good, martial artist who I have to date because I love you" look.
Kodachi was just staring with astonishment.
Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki had a look of half-astonishment at her spectacular performance; half-pleasure at their father's getting what they deserved.
Shampoo was very glad that she and Naru had never fought because she didn't want to have to kill her friend.
Mousse was thinking that if he was that good Shampoo would be his.
Ukyo and Ryoga were just astonished.
She was good. She wasn't as good as Ranma. She wasn't quite as good as Ryoga. But she was damn close.