Chapter 3 -If I cry out in fear..
The title for this chapter comes from the song Wonder - by Embrace. I may reference it a lot now. The full line is "If I cry out if fear, I'll feel more afraid." I like the song at the mo, and as I appear to be naming all my chapters after song names, bands or lines, I thought I would continue it.
I have re - watched ES, and although there is no lever in the movies, will you, when you get to that part, please accept that there is, just for the sake of argument.
I may also not be able to update for a month because my mums threatening to cut off the Internet. I don't know if its an empty threat or not, but apart from trying to upload it at my library, I'll keep it going until I can update it regularly.
******
It is extremely hard to concentrate on a maths lesson when your mind keeps on wondering to the mansion on the hill you can see out of the window. The maths teacher droned on as Jane watched birds fly overhead and tried to see if she could see Edward in the house. She blinked, and didn't listen as he told her about the joys of volumes and surface areas. She didn't listen as some cheerleaders at the back started to giggle and laugh at her because she sat so still, just watching out of the window. She hardly noticed that the notepad she usually kept hidden under her other schoolbooks was slowly becoming filled up with a sketch of Edwards face, although slightly changed from memory and the bad light she had seen it in.
She had managed to get her hands on some stuff before she left the house. She had taken her little radio and a First Aid Kit her dad kept under the sink and crammed them into her bag quickly. She had them in her bag right now and debated whether she should get them out or not. Probably not. She felt the room get still as the teachers sonorous, monotonous voice drilling into her brain. She felt her body start to freeze up, and the sketching slowing down.
Then to break the pure stillness, she moved her head to look down at her watch. Why was time moving so slowly? She wanted to get out of here! She couldn't wait to leave, couldn't wait to run to that house, and walk through the wonderfully fantastic garden to see.to see a man with no hands, but scissors. She couldn't wait to see Edward. Jane, although she didn't look it to a casual observer, felt shivers of excitement. Edward by most standards wasn't a very articulate person and neither was he incredibly intelligent, although to be honest she couldn't really tell, but something, something about him made her want to return. There was something about his sullen face with the deep dark eyes like muddy pools of water that made her want to go back, just to find out if it was real.
As she looked out the window, she swore she saw something moving in the garden, but it could have just have been a bird. Jane gazed out, trying to work out if she had been mistaken, when something woke her up out of her dream state.
'Jane, what did I just say?' asked the Math's teacher.
Jane looked up, startled, much to the amusement to everyone else. 'I dunno sir.' She said. The class laughed at her. She went red, and stared at her desk so she wouldn't have to see anyone's face.
The teacher sighed and said, 'If you had been listening to me Jane, you would have know that that I was asking you how to work out this question.' He pointed to the board. Jane looked at it and before she could give an answer he said, 'but as you haven't been listening all lesson, I suppose you wouldn't mind me showing the class what you have been concentrating on?' Jane only had half a second to react. She slid the notebook under the table, but the teacher saw it, and grabbing it ripped the page in half. Her mouth fell open as about an hours work went to waste, but at least no one could see the picture properly.
The teacher, giving up, threw the picture in the bin. 'I'll see you after class Jane, ' he said. Some of the class jeered at her, and a ball of paper hit her round the back of the head. 'Quieten down, quieten down,' muttered the teacher under his breath.
'Oh, Plain Jane's in trouble!' shouted a jock at the back of the class.
'Yeah, you should be ashamed for yourself!' another shouted, before he couldn't talk because of his laughter.
'Danny, Jim, stop it!' said the teacher. The bell rang, and the class started to pack away. 'Right class, do exercise thirty two - five, page one hundred and twenty four.' As Jane shuffled out of the classroom, he shouted, 'Jane, come back here.'
Jane, if she hadn't been so embarrassed, or if she hadn't felt so defiant, or if she didn't have anyone else to meet, she would have stayed, but she didn't. She rushed out, carrying her maths books under her arms.
The teacher ran out into the corridor. 'JANE!' he yelled.
Jane didn't listen. She ran on, pushing past everyone in the crowd, knowing that many of them were jeering at her. She ran out of the school, past the rows of houses, and then she ran all the way to the foot of the mountain. She looked behind her, as if wondering whether she should go up there. It had been all she had thought about all day, returning to the garden, returning to the old house, going back to see Edward... Only out of fascination of course.. As she climbed up the hillside her mind wondered to the people at school. What would they think, Jane 'ice maiden' Parsons going up a mountain to see a man? But none of them would be able to understand why she would be going to see him.
She was glad that the climb was pretty short. She walked into the garden, and passing all the topiaries and flowers, she opened the door to the house.
She walked in, the door closing behind her. She looked around the foyer, looking for him. She hoped that yesterday wasn't some strange dream she had for whatever reason. She hoped that maybe it was real. Her heart sank, as she heard nothing but her own footsteps echoing in the old house. She sighed, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter like crazy. Then she felt cold steel gently perch upon her shoulder.
Jane screamed. Then, realising who it was, she stopped, turning around. Edward stood there, looking even more scared than she was, his blades interlocked in a vaguely half-terrified, half embarrassed way. Jane gasped and said, 'Oh Edward, I didn't know it was you...'
'I'm sorry,' he whispered, his eyes looking away. She saw the blades rubbing together nervously as he seemed to realise what he had done was wrong.
Jane smiled, a little painfully, and said, ' No, no Edward, you just gave me a little shock, that's all..' he looked at her a little scared, like a child who's teacher had just shouted at him. Jane stepped towards him, and in response he stepped back. 'Don't worry..' she whispered reassuringly, ' Edward, I'm..do you want me to go?'
He looked down at the floor, unlocking his scissors and shook his head slowly.
Jane smiled again and said, 'I got you a few things, just to make it a little more interesting up here.' She walked towards the machinery on the other side of the foyer (okay, I got the house mixed up at the start, but I'm correcting my mistake now.), and signalling to Edward to follow, sat down on one of the conveyer belts. Edward stood up, waiting for her. She slipped the bag off her back, and opened it. After a few seconds of rummaging through she brought out a radio. Edward looked at it strangely.
Holding in her hand like it were a jewel, she said, 'It's a radio. It plays music and adverts and occasionally someone called DJ started to talk about nonsense. You have to ignore them, but the music's pretty good. ' She placed it on the conveyer belt, and flicked a switch to show him how it worked. He looked at it like a quizzical dog, but Jane smiled, and continued to rummage through her bag. Bringing out English books and maths books she finally found The First Aid Kit. Then, putting the books away, and indicating to him to sit down, he did, clicking his blades and locking them together.
'Okay Edward, I'm just going to put some antiseptic on your cuts,' she said, pouring the acid smelling liquid on a piece of cotton wool. Then, as she applied it he jerked away, frightened, razors clicking like crazy. Jane looked down at the cotton wool and said apologetically, 'Edward, it stings a bit, but I promise it will help your cuts, its so bacteria don't get into it and grow.' Edward eyed her dubiously. Then Jane put it against her own skin. 'Look, it doesn't hurt.' She remarked, trying to prove her point.
She put a little more antiseptic on the piece of cotton wool and then tried putting against his skin. He stood completely still, his face a picture of pure terror as he snipped each time she used it on his skin. Jane ignored it, until she was content that it was all over. 'See?' she asked, 'doesn't it feel better now?'
Edward looked her in the eye, fixing her with a look that said plainly that it did not. Jane laughed at his expression and putting the bottle down on the conveyer belt, she gently touched his face. He winced, sniped nervously, but didn't finch. Jane, standing up, couldn't help stroking the scar down his right eye. He looked nervously into her face, not understanding as she whispered, ' who could leave you here? How could let you hurt yourself like this?'
There eyes met for a second, but he looked away, like he were ashamed, his mouth in the tight little pout it would go in when he was scared. Jane looked away, and looked down at her watch. 'Jeez, I think I better get going. I'll see you tommoro...' As she walked, she fell over a lever, which creaked sideways. Before either of then knew it, an ancient generator buzzed into life, and, coughing and spluttering like an asthmatic, the previously inanimate convey belt juddered to a start, and the machines hanging up above the metal belt started to jerk to life. Jane, looking around gasped. Edward went right over to her, and held out his hand to help her up. Smiling, a little out of embarrassment, she declined the offer, and stood right up.
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a clamp on a long arm swung around. Jane would have been knocked out of she hadn't have jumped out of the way in time. Edward didn't seem fazed by this at all. Instead, he smiled. Jane looked at him, startled, but then went back to the machine. The little clamp had a hammer on it, which now swung down to hit whatever would have been in the clamp on the head. The clamp opened, and the bowl on the belt moved forward. Then, on a spring, it moved forward and a whisker went into bowl, mixing around the invisible ingredients. Jane stepped, following the machine. A hand swung out, knocking the bowl over, the dust inside making a fine pastry. Then, going though the rollers, more metal people with shape cutters for feet made patterns in the dust. Jane gasped with excitement while Edward followed her steps.
Then, into the oven that gasped and wheezed like it had done a mile run, the dust went and lay forgotten about as Jane turned around to Edward and said, 'Edward.......Edward.......' his face was alight with childish delight. She didn't understand why, but he seemed to have sensed some great news. 'Edward....what is it?' she asked, herself feeling excited. It had to be something big to get him as excited as this.
'My father,' he said, hands snipping excitedly, ' he's going to come back! He's going to wake up!'
Jane, not understanding gasped and exclaimed, 'Oh my God! How do you know!'
'The last time the cookie machine was on, my father was awake.' He said, his face spitting into a smile his face couldn't contain.
'Edward, that's great!' she said, her mind not realising what he meant, 'do you think he'll be back soon?'
'He never left the cookie machine on without watching it,' replied Edward, 'in case something happened.'
'Well, I can stay here for a while,' she said with a sigh, 'I'll wait with you for a bit. ' Edward's grin seemed to get even bigger, 'but only for a short while. ' She reminded him, 'I have to go home sometime.'
Edward hugged her, scissors going around her body. Jane suddenly went very still. Edward looked down at her, and the razors that crossed around her body from his wrists. He let go, looking a little scared, but while only a day ago she would have run, she stayed, and embraced his onyx black body gently, resting her head on his shoulder. He patted her small hand with the palm of his, and they stayed like that for a long while. Long enough to make the difference.
*****
When Jane got home, she was met with her parents.
'Jane, what time do you call this?' demanded her father.
'Look, I'm sorry...'
'Ten minutes late!' he exclaimed, 'Ten minutes! You promised that if we let you go to that drama club, you'd be home on time.'
'Dad!' she moaned, her stomach knotting as she remembered the lie, 'They overran..'
'If they overrun, you phone us! That's the rule young lady!' he exclaimed.
She tried to respond, but she didn't as she realised that it would lead to a fight. She shook her head and said, 'sorry dad.....'
He sighed and said, 'don't do it again sport, okay. Your Mom's worried about you.'
Jane looked at him and flashed him a brittle grin. If he had found out she was with a boy, even a boy (or more likely, especially) like Edward, she would have been in trouble. But he was no stricter than any of the other fathers in town, but she was less willing to disobey him and being shy and awkward made her easy prey to others.
Jane went back to her room, and taking out her books realised she had left the first Aid Kit up there. Oh well, she thought to herself, it was a good excuse to return.
Later that night she went to bed and dreamed not of hunky models or of flying pigs, but of scissors and snow.
*********
Thank you for reading! Please could you review me, just to tell me where I'm going wrong, or how you'd like the plot to go? I have to choices in my mind, and I can't chose. Should I go down the path where the story is very simple, or should I try my hand at going a little more dreamlike and avoid reality later on.
Tell me what you think.
Thank you.
The title for this chapter comes from the song Wonder - by Embrace. I may reference it a lot now. The full line is "If I cry out if fear, I'll feel more afraid." I like the song at the mo, and as I appear to be naming all my chapters after song names, bands or lines, I thought I would continue it.
I have re - watched ES, and although there is no lever in the movies, will you, when you get to that part, please accept that there is, just for the sake of argument.
I may also not be able to update for a month because my mums threatening to cut off the Internet. I don't know if its an empty threat or not, but apart from trying to upload it at my library, I'll keep it going until I can update it regularly.
******
It is extremely hard to concentrate on a maths lesson when your mind keeps on wondering to the mansion on the hill you can see out of the window. The maths teacher droned on as Jane watched birds fly overhead and tried to see if she could see Edward in the house. She blinked, and didn't listen as he told her about the joys of volumes and surface areas. She didn't listen as some cheerleaders at the back started to giggle and laugh at her because she sat so still, just watching out of the window. She hardly noticed that the notepad she usually kept hidden under her other schoolbooks was slowly becoming filled up with a sketch of Edwards face, although slightly changed from memory and the bad light she had seen it in.
She had managed to get her hands on some stuff before she left the house. She had taken her little radio and a First Aid Kit her dad kept under the sink and crammed them into her bag quickly. She had them in her bag right now and debated whether she should get them out or not. Probably not. She felt the room get still as the teachers sonorous, monotonous voice drilling into her brain. She felt her body start to freeze up, and the sketching slowing down.
Then to break the pure stillness, she moved her head to look down at her watch. Why was time moving so slowly? She wanted to get out of here! She couldn't wait to leave, couldn't wait to run to that house, and walk through the wonderfully fantastic garden to see.to see a man with no hands, but scissors. She couldn't wait to see Edward. Jane, although she didn't look it to a casual observer, felt shivers of excitement. Edward by most standards wasn't a very articulate person and neither was he incredibly intelligent, although to be honest she couldn't really tell, but something, something about him made her want to return. There was something about his sullen face with the deep dark eyes like muddy pools of water that made her want to go back, just to find out if it was real.
As she looked out the window, she swore she saw something moving in the garden, but it could have just have been a bird. Jane gazed out, trying to work out if she had been mistaken, when something woke her up out of her dream state.
'Jane, what did I just say?' asked the Math's teacher.
Jane looked up, startled, much to the amusement to everyone else. 'I dunno sir.' She said. The class laughed at her. She went red, and stared at her desk so she wouldn't have to see anyone's face.
The teacher sighed and said, 'If you had been listening to me Jane, you would have know that that I was asking you how to work out this question.' He pointed to the board. Jane looked at it and before she could give an answer he said, 'but as you haven't been listening all lesson, I suppose you wouldn't mind me showing the class what you have been concentrating on?' Jane only had half a second to react. She slid the notebook under the table, but the teacher saw it, and grabbing it ripped the page in half. Her mouth fell open as about an hours work went to waste, but at least no one could see the picture properly.
The teacher, giving up, threw the picture in the bin. 'I'll see you after class Jane, ' he said. Some of the class jeered at her, and a ball of paper hit her round the back of the head. 'Quieten down, quieten down,' muttered the teacher under his breath.
'Oh, Plain Jane's in trouble!' shouted a jock at the back of the class.
'Yeah, you should be ashamed for yourself!' another shouted, before he couldn't talk because of his laughter.
'Danny, Jim, stop it!' said the teacher. The bell rang, and the class started to pack away. 'Right class, do exercise thirty two - five, page one hundred and twenty four.' As Jane shuffled out of the classroom, he shouted, 'Jane, come back here.'
Jane, if she hadn't been so embarrassed, or if she hadn't felt so defiant, or if she didn't have anyone else to meet, she would have stayed, but she didn't. She rushed out, carrying her maths books under her arms.
The teacher ran out into the corridor. 'JANE!' he yelled.
Jane didn't listen. She ran on, pushing past everyone in the crowd, knowing that many of them were jeering at her. She ran out of the school, past the rows of houses, and then she ran all the way to the foot of the mountain. She looked behind her, as if wondering whether she should go up there. It had been all she had thought about all day, returning to the garden, returning to the old house, going back to see Edward... Only out of fascination of course.. As she climbed up the hillside her mind wondered to the people at school. What would they think, Jane 'ice maiden' Parsons going up a mountain to see a man? But none of them would be able to understand why she would be going to see him.
She was glad that the climb was pretty short. She walked into the garden, and passing all the topiaries and flowers, she opened the door to the house.
She walked in, the door closing behind her. She looked around the foyer, looking for him. She hoped that yesterday wasn't some strange dream she had for whatever reason. She hoped that maybe it was real. Her heart sank, as she heard nothing but her own footsteps echoing in the old house. She sighed, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter like crazy. Then she felt cold steel gently perch upon her shoulder.
Jane screamed. Then, realising who it was, she stopped, turning around. Edward stood there, looking even more scared than she was, his blades interlocked in a vaguely half-terrified, half embarrassed way. Jane gasped and said, 'Oh Edward, I didn't know it was you...'
'I'm sorry,' he whispered, his eyes looking away. She saw the blades rubbing together nervously as he seemed to realise what he had done was wrong.
Jane smiled, a little painfully, and said, ' No, no Edward, you just gave me a little shock, that's all..' he looked at her a little scared, like a child who's teacher had just shouted at him. Jane stepped towards him, and in response he stepped back. 'Don't worry..' she whispered reassuringly, ' Edward, I'm..do you want me to go?'
He looked down at the floor, unlocking his scissors and shook his head slowly.
Jane smiled again and said, 'I got you a few things, just to make it a little more interesting up here.' She walked towards the machinery on the other side of the foyer (okay, I got the house mixed up at the start, but I'm correcting my mistake now.), and signalling to Edward to follow, sat down on one of the conveyer belts. Edward stood up, waiting for her. She slipped the bag off her back, and opened it. After a few seconds of rummaging through she brought out a radio. Edward looked at it strangely.
Holding in her hand like it were a jewel, she said, 'It's a radio. It plays music and adverts and occasionally someone called DJ started to talk about nonsense. You have to ignore them, but the music's pretty good. ' She placed it on the conveyer belt, and flicked a switch to show him how it worked. He looked at it like a quizzical dog, but Jane smiled, and continued to rummage through her bag. Bringing out English books and maths books she finally found The First Aid Kit. Then, putting the books away, and indicating to him to sit down, he did, clicking his blades and locking them together.
'Okay Edward, I'm just going to put some antiseptic on your cuts,' she said, pouring the acid smelling liquid on a piece of cotton wool. Then, as she applied it he jerked away, frightened, razors clicking like crazy. Jane looked down at the cotton wool and said apologetically, 'Edward, it stings a bit, but I promise it will help your cuts, its so bacteria don't get into it and grow.' Edward eyed her dubiously. Then Jane put it against her own skin. 'Look, it doesn't hurt.' She remarked, trying to prove her point.
She put a little more antiseptic on the piece of cotton wool and then tried putting against his skin. He stood completely still, his face a picture of pure terror as he snipped each time she used it on his skin. Jane ignored it, until she was content that it was all over. 'See?' she asked, 'doesn't it feel better now?'
Edward looked her in the eye, fixing her with a look that said plainly that it did not. Jane laughed at his expression and putting the bottle down on the conveyer belt, she gently touched his face. He winced, sniped nervously, but didn't finch. Jane, standing up, couldn't help stroking the scar down his right eye. He looked nervously into her face, not understanding as she whispered, ' who could leave you here? How could let you hurt yourself like this?'
There eyes met for a second, but he looked away, like he were ashamed, his mouth in the tight little pout it would go in when he was scared. Jane looked away, and looked down at her watch. 'Jeez, I think I better get going. I'll see you tommoro...' As she walked, she fell over a lever, which creaked sideways. Before either of then knew it, an ancient generator buzzed into life, and, coughing and spluttering like an asthmatic, the previously inanimate convey belt juddered to a start, and the machines hanging up above the metal belt started to jerk to life. Jane, looking around gasped. Edward went right over to her, and held out his hand to help her up. Smiling, a little out of embarrassment, she declined the offer, and stood right up.
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a clamp on a long arm swung around. Jane would have been knocked out of she hadn't have jumped out of the way in time. Edward didn't seem fazed by this at all. Instead, he smiled. Jane looked at him, startled, but then went back to the machine. The little clamp had a hammer on it, which now swung down to hit whatever would have been in the clamp on the head. The clamp opened, and the bowl on the belt moved forward. Then, on a spring, it moved forward and a whisker went into bowl, mixing around the invisible ingredients. Jane stepped, following the machine. A hand swung out, knocking the bowl over, the dust inside making a fine pastry. Then, going though the rollers, more metal people with shape cutters for feet made patterns in the dust. Jane gasped with excitement while Edward followed her steps.
Then, into the oven that gasped and wheezed like it had done a mile run, the dust went and lay forgotten about as Jane turned around to Edward and said, 'Edward.......Edward.......' his face was alight with childish delight. She didn't understand why, but he seemed to have sensed some great news. 'Edward....what is it?' she asked, herself feeling excited. It had to be something big to get him as excited as this.
'My father,' he said, hands snipping excitedly, ' he's going to come back! He's going to wake up!'
Jane, not understanding gasped and exclaimed, 'Oh my God! How do you know!'
'The last time the cookie machine was on, my father was awake.' He said, his face spitting into a smile his face couldn't contain.
'Edward, that's great!' she said, her mind not realising what he meant, 'do you think he'll be back soon?'
'He never left the cookie machine on without watching it,' replied Edward, 'in case something happened.'
'Well, I can stay here for a while,' she said with a sigh, 'I'll wait with you for a bit. ' Edward's grin seemed to get even bigger, 'but only for a short while. ' She reminded him, 'I have to go home sometime.'
Edward hugged her, scissors going around her body. Jane suddenly went very still. Edward looked down at her, and the razors that crossed around her body from his wrists. He let go, looking a little scared, but while only a day ago she would have run, she stayed, and embraced his onyx black body gently, resting her head on his shoulder. He patted her small hand with the palm of his, and they stayed like that for a long while. Long enough to make the difference.
*****
When Jane got home, she was met with her parents.
'Jane, what time do you call this?' demanded her father.
'Look, I'm sorry...'
'Ten minutes late!' he exclaimed, 'Ten minutes! You promised that if we let you go to that drama club, you'd be home on time.'
'Dad!' she moaned, her stomach knotting as she remembered the lie, 'They overran..'
'If they overrun, you phone us! That's the rule young lady!' he exclaimed.
She tried to respond, but she didn't as she realised that it would lead to a fight. She shook her head and said, 'sorry dad.....'
He sighed and said, 'don't do it again sport, okay. Your Mom's worried about you.'
Jane looked at him and flashed him a brittle grin. If he had found out she was with a boy, even a boy (or more likely, especially) like Edward, she would have been in trouble. But he was no stricter than any of the other fathers in town, but she was less willing to disobey him and being shy and awkward made her easy prey to others.
Jane went back to her room, and taking out her books realised she had left the first Aid Kit up there. Oh well, she thought to herself, it was a good excuse to return.
Later that night she went to bed and dreamed not of hunky models or of flying pigs, but of scissors and snow.
*********
Thank you for reading! Please could you review me, just to tell me where I'm going wrong, or how you'd like the plot to go? I have to choices in my mind, and I can't chose. Should I go down the path where the story is very simple, or should I try my hand at going a little more dreamlike and avoid reality later on.
Tell me what you think.
Thank you.