Chapter 6 - You're a friend so I blame myself.
Hello! I'm sorry about not updating for ages. I have no excuses except writers block. It was nasty. But as my muse got a cameo in this chapter, she decided to help. It was like this Douglas Addams. He was brilliant (okay, that isn't true for me, but the next bit is) but even when he knew what was going to happen, he ran out of words to express it. Well, that's what happened to me for about a month. Nasty. Really really nasty.
Notes. Yes!
1/ I used Queen as the song in this chapter because I wanted to. I stole my mums Queen CD and it was in my head. Forgive my love of Queen.
2/ the title is taken from Feeder - Just a Day. Man I love that song!
3/yes, someone is onto them, but I hope the next chapter is a surprise. I think you'll find it unexpected, but quiet good.
4/ for those who don't watch stupid amounts of British TV, 'Dads army' is a sitcom set during the war, about a bunch of incompetent home guard.
**********
As Jane walked in she heard the clanking and clattering of machines as the cookie machine whirred and buzzed. Closing the door behind her with a loud slam that caused some dust to fall from the ceiling, she called, 'hello? Edward? Are you there?'
She turned to her left to see two chairs, long forgotten and covered in dustsheets, by the door. On one of the chairs Edward sat, staring at the machine as it chugged along. Jane stepped in quietly. He looked miserable. He looked so miserable as he stared, unblinking at the machine, as if he had watched his one hope die in front of his eyes.
'Edward?'
Edward looked up, scared, and snipped ecstatically as if he was under attack. When he saw it was only her he relaxed, his fingers snipping gently. She hoped his face would form into a grin, but it didn't. He looked up, his face a picture of unhappiness. No more words needed to be said, but he did anyway.
'He didn't come.' Those three simple words were weighed down with meaning. She could hear the disappointment; the confusion, the embarrassment, the soul destroying half-realisation and she swore she could hear a little recrimination in the voice. It was amazing what you could do with your voice, just to make a point.
Jane felt a pang of guilt, but felt compelled to place a hand on his shoulder and kneel in front of him. 'Edward, I don't know how to say this, but I don't think he is coming back.'
Edward looked at her; his eyes wide open at the concept.
Jane sighed and continued, 'you see Edward, sometimes people don't wake up after a deep sleep, I don't know why,' she lied,' but sometimes it happens, usually to the wrong people.'
Edward looked at her uncomprehendingly.
He's going to make me say it, she thought, he's going to make me have to explain it. He knows it! Or does he? It was hard to tell with a face, which seemed as pure and innocent as his, but she had a feeling that something lurked behind those eyes that wasn't letting on something to the outside world. It didn't matter which way it was, she felt as if ice was running down her back.
She didn't know how to say it, even if she had wanted to. Finally, after a pause that seemed to last a day she said, 'It's called Death. It means that you stop thinking and....'
'Jim didn't think,' said Edward.
'....Okay, different tack. Inside every living being a soul is supposed to exist.' She said, unsurely, 'this soul is, essentially, you. It's the thing that makes you more than a machine; it makes you do things of your own accord rather than just because you have to.'
Edward listened. He seemed interested, but something wasn't clicking in his brain.
'Well, the soul only stays in the body for a short while, and sometimes the soul will just go, and that's what death is. The soul leaving the body and leaving a shell there. '
'So where does it go?'
'No one knows.' Said Jane, 'its part of the mystery.'
'So will it come back?' asked Edward.
Jane sighed. 'Edward, it won't. '
'Why not?'
'I don't know, it just doesn't, everything after death is a mystery.'
'So he won't wake up?' asked Edward, one last time.
'No.' whispered Jane, looking down at the floor.
The silence drowned out all sounds at that moment, as Jane dared to look Edward in the eye. Jane had never seen eyes that could say so much more than the owner. Admittedly she was in high school, but she had never seen eyes that could look ambivalent before, as these did now. It was somewhere between sadness and anger, fear and seething recrimination. Jane could hear nothing, feel nothing, see nothing but Edwards's eyes. As if they had just gone through all emotions in a flash, finally they settled on despondent, and his hands clipped slowly, contriving to sound miserable.
Jane stood away from him, as if she didn't know what to do. Then, as if she had suddenly stopped thinking about what to do, and did what seemed right to herself, she walked towards him and put her hand on his shoulder. Edward, as if unsure what he should do, never having had anyone prepared to get close to him as this, even thought he had wanted them to, didn't move. Jane lent over and said, 'Edward, if you want me to, I'll go, but for now I'm here. I promise that unless you want me to leave, I won't. I'll try not to at least. '
Edward looked up into her eyes and repeated to himself, 'he won't wake up.'
'I'm sorry.'
'But the machine...' He pleaded, 'It came on.'
'I'm, I'm sorry.' Said Jane, guilt clawing away at her insides. God, she really was a bitch. She'd given this poor guy a little hope, and what for? Nothing! And she was too much of a coward to tell him that it had just been her mucking around. But as she tried to tell him, she felt her stomach recoil and her tongue freeze.
Edward sat, staring at the floor, his face full if vacant despondence. He quivered nervously, as it he was suffering from shock.
Jane suddenly felt awkward. 'Do you want me to leave?' she asked tentatively.
Edward shook his head.
Jane, to her surprise, found herself sitting on the cold floor, her head in her hands. They sat there silently for a few minutes. Silence seemed to fill the universe, as if it were diffusing into all space, choking and killing everyone silently. Jane didn't know what to say, let a lone do, while Edward, as if his mind were computing the information, sat there, like some obscene statue, waiting for either an answer or the thought to properly sink in.
Just the silence was causing Jane to sigh, she heard a sound. It sounded a little fuzzy, but it was unmistakably.....like. ....Like a voice? Jane scrambled to her feet.' What was that?' she exclaimed.
Edward seemed to become animate again, and listened too. 'I don't know.' she said nervously.
'It sounds like its coming from the machine.' She whispered. She took a dirty grey dustsheet off a chair, and holding it like a fire blanket in her arm she turned around to him and said, 'stay there. If someone followed me you can hide.'
'Why would I want to do that?' asked Edward. Jane gave him a look of pleading, not willing to explain that if he was seen, they might try to kill him.
She crept into the place where the machine was kept, her footsteps sounding undeniably loud. Her heart pounding like it were about to burst out of her chest, she walked cautiously, looking around for a place where the voice could come from. As she got closer to the sound, it seemed less human, less....normal. It was as if it weren't really there......
'I'm just a poor boy, no body loves me....' Sang a strangely familiar voice. She sided towards the lever, and pulled it so it was off. As the machinery clunked to a halt, she heard a choir sing, 'Spare him his life from this monstrosity.'
She heard the sound of a piano, and then, like the sound of some strange announcing angel something sang, 'easy come, easy go, will you let me go?'
She closed her eyes, and breathing heavily, she pin pointed the place where the sound had come from. She breathed in carefully, willing her whole body, and threw the dustsheet over something before screaming like a banshee!
She opened her eyes slowly. In front of her she saw the sheet sprawled on the floor, with a small lump in the middle. She gingerly lifted the sheet, and realised it was just the radio. In response, the radio proclaimed 'No! We will not let him go! Let him go! We will no let him go, let him go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, no, no, no, no!!'
She heard snipping and slicing behind her as a pair of feet walked quickly towards her. She turned around as she saw Edwards face, a little paler than usual say, 'Are you okay? Is he gone?'
Jane, feeling more than a little stupid, grinned foolishly and said, 'Edward, it was just, just the radio. '
The radio burst to a guitar solo, and to her own surprise, she found herself pretended to air guitar. 'You see,' she explained, 'I was just scared by the radio.'
Edward still looked confused. She threw the blanket off, and picked up the radio. The sound cracked as she moved it, but it claimed, 'so you think you can stomp me and spit in my eye?'
'It was just the radio, 'he said, poking it with a blade.
The signal waved for a second, but the end of the line could be heard. '....You can love me and leave me to die...?'
'See, you must have left the radio on,' said Jane with an unamused chuckled.
'I did?' said Edward, far more carefully than Jane would have given him a right to.
Jane, looking into his slightly confused face, felt her mouth fall open and dropped the radio with a loud smash. She gasped, and within seconds she felt five blades comfortingly holding her arm. She looked into his eyes, and all Jane could think to do was to choke, and lay her head on his shoulder.
**********
Back in England a phone went off while Johnny had gone to bed while Homer and Ysabelle were watching 'Dad's army.'
Ysabelle sighed and said, 'Who phones at this time of night?'
'I think it's one of our contacts. The 'physis's said they'd get someone onto my little "hunch".'
'You had a "hunch?"' sneered Ysabelle, 'you've never had a "hunch" since you found those plans for AIDA. ' The phone continued to ring. 'Are you going to pick that up?'
'Yes,' Homer sighed, throwing her a dirty look. He reached out for his Phone he had left on the side, and accepting the call he said, 'hello?'
Ysabelle pretended to watch the TV, but surreptitiously turned it down.
'Hi Jes......You're where? .......Really?.....It didn't take you long to find out where the city was........okay, okay, I know it wouldn't.......you when there? Without telling me, or the 'physis's for that matter.....well, great but.....you what?........Do you know how much damage you could've done you stupid.......Look, I'll get tickets to go there in a few days, but for the love of God don't go back without telling someone! I don't have time, send me a report in the morning..... Bye!' he switched off the phone, and smashed it down on the table.
There was a moment of silence before Ysabelle asked, trying to sound as calm and nonplussed as possible, 'who was that?'
'Jes.' He said, turning back to the TV.
'What she want?' she replied.
'She checked out my idea. I was right.'
'What idea was this?'
'That the thing Johnny's father made is walking around. But Jes said something was wrong.'
'Well, what can you expect. Nothing's ever right for that damn.....'
'Shut up Ys. She said that someone apart from us knows that it exists. About forty years ago someone found him, took him down to the Town, and then a few weeks later they mobbed him. Obviously he's still alive, but when Jes went up there she saw a girl in there with him.'
'Hmm' said Ysabelle, 'interesting.'
'Before she could get some proof she set something off, had to run before they found her.'
'That wouldn't 've happened if you had've sent me.' Said Ysabelle dryly, 'I'm not that stupid to do something like that.'
Homer turned around to her and exploded, 'Ys, what is wrong with you? Every time there's a female within a....a six-mile radius you start acting like a bitch! What the hell is your problem with women!'
Ysabelle gave him a dirty look and said, 'well, its better to act like a bitch then to be one.'
'I give up on you sometimes.' Sighed Homer, 'you're even more messed up than me.'
**********
Hello! I'm sorry about not updating for ages. I have no excuses except writers block. It was nasty. But as my muse got a cameo in this chapter, she decided to help. It was like this Douglas Addams. He was brilliant (okay, that isn't true for me, but the next bit is) but even when he knew what was going to happen, he ran out of words to express it. Well, that's what happened to me for about a month. Nasty. Really really nasty.
Notes. Yes!
1/ I used Queen as the song in this chapter because I wanted to. I stole my mums Queen CD and it was in my head. Forgive my love of Queen.
2/ the title is taken from Feeder - Just a Day. Man I love that song!
3/yes, someone is onto them, but I hope the next chapter is a surprise. I think you'll find it unexpected, but quiet good.
4/ for those who don't watch stupid amounts of British TV, 'Dads army' is a sitcom set during the war, about a bunch of incompetent home guard.
**********
As Jane walked in she heard the clanking and clattering of machines as the cookie machine whirred and buzzed. Closing the door behind her with a loud slam that caused some dust to fall from the ceiling, she called, 'hello? Edward? Are you there?'
She turned to her left to see two chairs, long forgotten and covered in dustsheets, by the door. On one of the chairs Edward sat, staring at the machine as it chugged along. Jane stepped in quietly. He looked miserable. He looked so miserable as he stared, unblinking at the machine, as if he had watched his one hope die in front of his eyes.
'Edward?'
Edward looked up, scared, and snipped ecstatically as if he was under attack. When he saw it was only her he relaxed, his fingers snipping gently. She hoped his face would form into a grin, but it didn't. He looked up, his face a picture of unhappiness. No more words needed to be said, but he did anyway.
'He didn't come.' Those three simple words were weighed down with meaning. She could hear the disappointment; the confusion, the embarrassment, the soul destroying half-realisation and she swore she could hear a little recrimination in the voice. It was amazing what you could do with your voice, just to make a point.
Jane felt a pang of guilt, but felt compelled to place a hand on his shoulder and kneel in front of him. 'Edward, I don't know how to say this, but I don't think he is coming back.'
Edward looked at her; his eyes wide open at the concept.
Jane sighed and continued, 'you see Edward, sometimes people don't wake up after a deep sleep, I don't know why,' she lied,' but sometimes it happens, usually to the wrong people.'
Edward looked at her uncomprehendingly.
He's going to make me say it, she thought, he's going to make me have to explain it. He knows it! Or does he? It was hard to tell with a face, which seemed as pure and innocent as his, but she had a feeling that something lurked behind those eyes that wasn't letting on something to the outside world. It didn't matter which way it was, she felt as if ice was running down her back.
She didn't know how to say it, even if she had wanted to. Finally, after a pause that seemed to last a day she said, 'It's called Death. It means that you stop thinking and....'
'Jim didn't think,' said Edward.
'....Okay, different tack. Inside every living being a soul is supposed to exist.' She said, unsurely, 'this soul is, essentially, you. It's the thing that makes you more than a machine; it makes you do things of your own accord rather than just because you have to.'
Edward listened. He seemed interested, but something wasn't clicking in his brain.
'Well, the soul only stays in the body for a short while, and sometimes the soul will just go, and that's what death is. The soul leaving the body and leaving a shell there. '
'So where does it go?'
'No one knows.' Said Jane, 'its part of the mystery.'
'So will it come back?' asked Edward.
Jane sighed. 'Edward, it won't. '
'Why not?'
'I don't know, it just doesn't, everything after death is a mystery.'
'So he won't wake up?' asked Edward, one last time.
'No.' whispered Jane, looking down at the floor.
The silence drowned out all sounds at that moment, as Jane dared to look Edward in the eye. Jane had never seen eyes that could say so much more than the owner. Admittedly she was in high school, but she had never seen eyes that could look ambivalent before, as these did now. It was somewhere between sadness and anger, fear and seething recrimination. Jane could hear nothing, feel nothing, see nothing but Edwards's eyes. As if they had just gone through all emotions in a flash, finally they settled on despondent, and his hands clipped slowly, contriving to sound miserable.
Jane stood away from him, as if she didn't know what to do. Then, as if she had suddenly stopped thinking about what to do, and did what seemed right to herself, she walked towards him and put her hand on his shoulder. Edward, as if unsure what he should do, never having had anyone prepared to get close to him as this, even thought he had wanted them to, didn't move. Jane lent over and said, 'Edward, if you want me to, I'll go, but for now I'm here. I promise that unless you want me to leave, I won't. I'll try not to at least. '
Edward looked up into her eyes and repeated to himself, 'he won't wake up.'
'I'm sorry.'
'But the machine...' He pleaded, 'It came on.'
'I'm, I'm sorry.' Said Jane, guilt clawing away at her insides. God, she really was a bitch. She'd given this poor guy a little hope, and what for? Nothing! And she was too much of a coward to tell him that it had just been her mucking around. But as she tried to tell him, she felt her stomach recoil and her tongue freeze.
Edward sat, staring at the floor, his face full if vacant despondence. He quivered nervously, as it he was suffering from shock.
Jane suddenly felt awkward. 'Do you want me to leave?' she asked tentatively.
Edward shook his head.
Jane, to her surprise, found herself sitting on the cold floor, her head in her hands. They sat there silently for a few minutes. Silence seemed to fill the universe, as if it were diffusing into all space, choking and killing everyone silently. Jane didn't know what to say, let a lone do, while Edward, as if his mind were computing the information, sat there, like some obscene statue, waiting for either an answer or the thought to properly sink in.
Just the silence was causing Jane to sigh, she heard a sound. It sounded a little fuzzy, but it was unmistakably.....like. ....Like a voice? Jane scrambled to her feet.' What was that?' she exclaimed.
Edward seemed to become animate again, and listened too. 'I don't know.' she said nervously.
'It sounds like its coming from the machine.' She whispered. She took a dirty grey dustsheet off a chair, and holding it like a fire blanket in her arm she turned around to him and said, 'stay there. If someone followed me you can hide.'
'Why would I want to do that?' asked Edward. Jane gave him a look of pleading, not willing to explain that if he was seen, they might try to kill him.
She crept into the place where the machine was kept, her footsteps sounding undeniably loud. Her heart pounding like it were about to burst out of her chest, she walked cautiously, looking around for a place where the voice could come from. As she got closer to the sound, it seemed less human, less....normal. It was as if it weren't really there......
'I'm just a poor boy, no body loves me....' Sang a strangely familiar voice. She sided towards the lever, and pulled it so it was off. As the machinery clunked to a halt, she heard a choir sing, 'Spare him his life from this monstrosity.'
She heard the sound of a piano, and then, like the sound of some strange announcing angel something sang, 'easy come, easy go, will you let me go?'
She closed her eyes, and breathing heavily, she pin pointed the place where the sound had come from. She breathed in carefully, willing her whole body, and threw the dustsheet over something before screaming like a banshee!
She opened her eyes slowly. In front of her she saw the sheet sprawled on the floor, with a small lump in the middle. She gingerly lifted the sheet, and realised it was just the radio. In response, the radio proclaimed 'No! We will not let him go! Let him go! We will no let him go, let him go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, no, no, no, no!!'
She heard snipping and slicing behind her as a pair of feet walked quickly towards her. She turned around as she saw Edwards face, a little paler than usual say, 'Are you okay? Is he gone?'
Jane, feeling more than a little stupid, grinned foolishly and said, 'Edward, it was just, just the radio. '
The radio burst to a guitar solo, and to her own surprise, she found herself pretended to air guitar. 'You see,' she explained, 'I was just scared by the radio.'
Edward still looked confused. She threw the blanket off, and picked up the radio. The sound cracked as she moved it, but it claimed, 'so you think you can stomp me and spit in my eye?'
'It was just the radio, 'he said, poking it with a blade.
The signal waved for a second, but the end of the line could be heard. '....You can love me and leave me to die...?'
'See, you must have left the radio on,' said Jane with an unamused chuckled.
'I did?' said Edward, far more carefully than Jane would have given him a right to.
Jane, looking into his slightly confused face, felt her mouth fall open and dropped the radio with a loud smash. She gasped, and within seconds she felt five blades comfortingly holding her arm. She looked into his eyes, and all Jane could think to do was to choke, and lay her head on his shoulder.
**********
Back in England a phone went off while Johnny had gone to bed while Homer and Ysabelle were watching 'Dad's army.'
Ysabelle sighed and said, 'Who phones at this time of night?'
'I think it's one of our contacts. The 'physis's said they'd get someone onto my little "hunch".'
'You had a "hunch?"' sneered Ysabelle, 'you've never had a "hunch" since you found those plans for AIDA. ' The phone continued to ring. 'Are you going to pick that up?'
'Yes,' Homer sighed, throwing her a dirty look. He reached out for his Phone he had left on the side, and accepting the call he said, 'hello?'
Ysabelle pretended to watch the TV, but surreptitiously turned it down.
'Hi Jes......You're where? .......Really?.....It didn't take you long to find out where the city was........okay, okay, I know it wouldn't.......you when there? Without telling me, or the 'physis's for that matter.....well, great but.....you what?........Do you know how much damage you could've done you stupid.......Look, I'll get tickets to go there in a few days, but for the love of God don't go back without telling someone! I don't have time, send me a report in the morning..... Bye!' he switched off the phone, and smashed it down on the table.
There was a moment of silence before Ysabelle asked, trying to sound as calm and nonplussed as possible, 'who was that?'
'Jes.' He said, turning back to the TV.
'What she want?' she replied.
'She checked out my idea. I was right.'
'What idea was this?'
'That the thing Johnny's father made is walking around. But Jes said something was wrong.'
'Well, what can you expect. Nothing's ever right for that damn.....'
'Shut up Ys. She said that someone apart from us knows that it exists. About forty years ago someone found him, took him down to the Town, and then a few weeks later they mobbed him. Obviously he's still alive, but when Jes went up there she saw a girl in there with him.'
'Hmm' said Ysabelle, 'interesting.'
'Before she could get some proof she set something off, had to run before they found her.'
'That wouldn't 've happened if you had've sent me.' Said Ysabelle dryly, 'I'm not that stupid to do something like that.'
Homer turned around to her and exploded, 'Ys, what is wrong with you? Every time there's a female within a....a six-mile radius you start acting like a bitch! What the hell is your problem with women!'
Ysabelle gave him a dirty look and said, 'well, its better to act like a bitch then to be one.'
'I give up on you sometimes.' Sighed Homer, 'you're even more messed up than me.'
**********