The Past Can Kill
Chapter one: The boy


What is it like to be hated? By everyone, your friends, strangers, and even your family. Well one boy knew hate all right. His name was Severus Snape. He knew not love, for he had never been given it. I'm not even sure he knew what love was. You have to put this into consideration for the way he acted. Of course, no one knew of this, of the hate he had to grow up in. Not even Albus Dumbledore knew. Snape never showed his true feelings. Of course, this was presumably to protect himself, but then again, he might have been hurting himself. And once again, this was because he didn't know the meaning of love, unless you defined it as being hurt, raped, and abused. Because then he definitely would've known love. Oh yea, definitely.

I'm going to tell you the tale of how a single person got Snape to open up and share his heart... a person least expected. Maybe Snape would learn the true meaning of love after all... or maybe he wouldn't...

~*~*~


Harry was playing a game of Quidditch with the Weasleys, for it was winter break at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was a joyous time for both students and teachers. Students, obviously, because there was no classes and homework. And surprisingly enough, teachers even enjoyed not teaching every once in awhile. But only every once in awhile. They don't get greedy. Of course, there are those exceptional teachers who would prefer to teach year round, non-stop. In most cases, it's because they love teaching so much. But there are exceptions to every case. This cases exception happens to be Severus Snape. He would prefer to teach year-round because it was something to do, something to keep his mind off of other, more troublesome things. Like his past, and the way it always seemed to creep up on him at the worst times. Though he did have a pensieve, he felt it was wrong to try and put all his thoughts in there. That was because he wanted to remember he was human. And plus, if he put all the bad thoughts in, his head would most likely be totally empty.

So we join Severus in his room, staring into space... remembering...

~*~*~
It had been St. Nicolas Day, and he had been excited to open presents. There was one problem with this scenario. This year there were no presents. 'Mommy, Mommy! Santa Claus forgot to come!!!' a young, about 5 or 6 year old, Severus cried, running over to his mother. His mother sent an icy glare down at him, where he was tugging on her skirts. 'Maybe, just maybe that's because someone wasn't good this year.' she said, her tone cold. Severus whimpered, and said, 'But I was good this year mommy! I remembered to be extra 'specially good! Just for you and daddy!' His mother laughed at this, as if it were a hysterical joke. Severus didn't understand why his mother, his angel, was laughing at him. He ran to his room, in a hysterical fit, leaving his mother staring after him, still chuckling occasionally.

~*~*~


'Professor Snape? Severus??'

A distant voice was calling him, and Severus slowly came back to the world of the living. He was still sitting in his room, but there was someone here now. Severus looked around. Albus Dumbledore was sitting on his bed, sucking a lemon drop. 'Yes Albus?' Severus asked. 'I was just wondering whether or not you were coming to the Feast tonight Severus.' Dumbledore said, merry blue eyes twinkling. 'Yea... Sure... I'll come.' Severus said, shaking his head to rid it of the remainders of that horrible memory. 'Okay. I'll see you then.' Albus said, standing up and walking out of the room.

~*~*~


There were few people at the feast, and there was only one table as a result. Most people had gone home for the holidays, in case they didn't get to see their parents again, as most parents of the students, with the exception of Slytherins, had joined the Order. The Slytherins had mostly gone home for something to do with Voldemort, obviously. Some of the seventh-years might even be getting initiated as Death Eaters for all anyone knew. The leftover students were Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. All the teachers were there, as to watch over the students. All in all it was a very merry way to end the day.

~*~*~ End Chapter 1 ~*~*~