disclaimer: I am currently seeing a psychiatrist, because even though I am
convinced that I am Sherwood Smith, she insists that I am not, and that if
I do pretend to be Sherwood Smith I will have to pay a great deal of money.
So here I go: I am NOT Sherwood Smith, which is not fair, and I do NOT own
the characters of Crown Duel. I do, however, own their real-life alter-
egos.
This is all fictional: sadly, a movie of Court Duel is not being made, but I thought that it would be fun to write a log from the point of view of Daine Winchester, the fictional actress playing the role of Nee. So here it all is, from the beginning of filming to the premiere in Hollywood.
Court Duel: the Movie
The official movie log of Daine Winchester, aka Nimiar Argaliar
April 21
I was always sort of sad that I never kept a journal in my high school years, because even if I do have an actress' incredible memory, I do not remember every single joke and note exchanged during those days. So I am determined to keep a journal now, and it shall be both copious AND consistent. Because, after all, who wants to remember high school, the eight hour long days of daily incarceration? Who would, when she can remember every day of shooting Court Duel: the Movie?
I, Daine, fully intend herewith to keep an accurate log of the making of Court Duel, complete with script, bloopers, and scenarios. Okay. So lets begin.
April 22
This movie is going to be so cool. I predict that once it premieres in theatres everyone will rush to their nearest bookseller's and buy a copy of Crown Duel. Harry Potter, move aside. (A/N: S'true. Sherwood Smith doesn't get half the recognition that she deserves.) And when that happens, I am going to publish this log. So now I have money as motivation, and not the hope of "looking back on yesteryear." Goody. People like to believe that writers work because they are compelled by the little divine voices inside their heads... uh, no. Writers like money, too.
Mr. Director is almost finished amassing the cast; we have the Marquise, Fialma, Elenet, Shevreath, Flauvic. Note about Flauvic: very good- looking, but, uh, slightly weird. I don't know, but I kind of get the impression that he's not all with it. He never seems interested but in one thing, and I think that I know what that one thing is: Flauvic himself.
April 24
We have Savona.
Loooong pause while I contemplate him. Even looooooonger pause while I gather my thoughts and return them to this journal. He is sooooooo good looking. Where did Mr. Director FIND him? Tall, powerful build, long waving dark hair, and a rakish smile... you know the sort. Did Ms. Smith right the character of Savona with him in mind?
Gotta go. Cast meeting with director and company.
April 25
At the cast meeting Mr. Director announced that the first part of the movie, when Mel is still at Tlanth, is going to be shot in England, at an old castle. Showed us shots. Perfect.
Mr. Handsome sat one chair away from me. Perfect.
Afterwards, we went out to eat, in a sort of get-acquainted-with-your colleagues dinner party at this place downtown called the Plum Tree. I sat next to the actor playing Vidanric. Nice guy, name of Tom. He grew up on a ranch in Northern California and is very good around horses and quite athletic, which is one reason Mr. Director hired him.
The whole Remalna crew is here: everyone I mentioned before, Trishe, Renna, Bran, Geral, Derek, Meliara (she is so adorable; five foot two, tiny, tiny, tiny), Princess Elestra, etc. etc.
April 26
During transatlantic flight to England, Continental Airlines
I hate flying.
Later
I still hate flying.
Later
To cheer me up, Meliara is singing "If Your Happy and You Know It" over and over, and clapping her hands energetically at the end of each verse. She is so small she can sit on Vidanric's lap. Contrary to character, she seems to have taken a liking to him..
Later
Bran and Mel are now singing two part harmony of "99 Bottles of Beer on the wall". Now joined by Vidanric in trio rendition of "My name is John Jingleheimer Smith." Over and over and over. This is insane. How am I going to look at Vidanric et al with respect during filming? How am I going to make lovey-dovey eyes at my betrothed after this?
April 27
En route to filming location
England is very nice, very nice. But if anyone says that the English are prim and proper after this, I'm going to laugh my head off. Feel like laughing now, only its one of those weird hysterical giggles that result from too much stress. Where is Motel6 on the horizon?
April 28
On location
Beautiful. I am the luckiest actress in the world. The drive up was a kille,( more "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"), but just the sight of the castle as we rounded the bend through the forest was gratifying enough. The castle is set on a low hill, surrounded by forested mountains. The forest doesn't come so close to the castle on the east side, which is where the gardens are. Crew and carpenters have already begun constructing a village on the slopes, with plenty of twisting lanes running through the village and small kitchen gardens. Why, there's even a blacksmith's shed, where the horses are kept-for real. Every actor or actress who is going to be riding in the movie has been given a horse and assigned to a trainer. I ride only once, and that in a party scene, so I get any old horse. Boo hoo.
Rehearsal in fifteen minutes. Going to scout out the castle with Meliara, who is racing up the hill like a little kid. Boy, what is that girl on? Prozac?
Thirty minutes later
Okay, so it doesn't look like there is... Was. going to be a rehearsal in fifteen minutes. Supposedly, the actress who was going to play Tamara was going to meet us here (she is a native of England), but so far she's a no show. Not even a call from her agent with a lame excuse about a forgotten meeting with her personal trainer. (Hey, it happens all the time in Hollywood.)
April 29
Up bright and early, made a trip to the bathroom. Word of warning: If any of my readers decide to become an actress and sign onto a period/fantasy movie, be sure to ascertain if there will be running water. Note to myself: purchase toilet paper at nearest supermarket, which might be as far away as 60 miles.
I have some time before rehearsals up at the castle begin, so I'll write more about yesterday in between munching on my croissant and sipping lukewarm coffee (courtesy of Singing Stein catering).
Tamara did show up, but how she did...! Either that girl has one very well paid publicity manager, or she has a twisted, conniving little mind. Ten minutes after I wrote the last entry, we all heard the sounds of galloping, and we turned, and saw this woman racing towards us, up the road, on a horse (which later turned out to be studio property, loaned for the afternoon).
Woman: (pulls reins, guiding horse to a stop. Leaps lightly off. Removes riding helmet, shakes out long, glossy, curly, black hair.) Sorry I'm late. I couldn't help myself, really, but this horse is so... (waives hands expressively).. Magnificent. I lost track of the time. Please don't desolate me by telling me I've made you all wait.
Mr. Director: Um, um.
Bran, Danric, Geral, and Derek: Oh, no. Not at all. (all rush to help her lead her to the castle)
Flauvic: (turns around, looks at Tamara slightly startled, then annoyed. Quickly refers to mirror in wallet.)
Remaining female cast members: (exchange dark, ominous looks)
Now, I pride myself on giving everyone a fair chance. We are equal, first impressions are misleading, ladidadida. But I don't think that I am going to like Tamara, especially since she talked to Savona all throughout the rehearsal session. He didn't look at her much. Good. Maybe if he avoids looking at her full in the face he'll be safe. Because, sadly, all boys are alike, and if he's sees that drop-dead-perfect-match-for-him face, he's a goner.
Rehearsal: scene three
Nee: (sighs) Your brother is a dear, and I do love him for the way he never fears to tell the truth. But he really doesn't understand some things, does he?
Mel: (squeaks) No.
Nee: (cocks her head, running hands over instrument. At this moment she realizes that by tilting her head she can get a good view of Savona, who is talking to Tamara. She glowers.) "No one.. Uh (greatly distracted by Tamara, who touches Savona's arm)... well, no ordinary person... uh..
Mr. Director: Line, Daine?
Nee: (sighs) No, Mr. Director. (assumes position again) ..sits down... lapses into staring coma
Mr. Director: (sighs) Cut! Cut!
Savona: (noticing Nee, walks over) Hey. Something wrong?
Nee: (very fast) Noonewellnoordinarypersonsitsdowntoaharpandplaysperfectly. Ittakestimeandtraining.
Savona: (startled. Lifts hands) Hey, I know it's only first rehearsal, but might I suggest a little R&R, kid?
Mr. Director: (looks relieved) That's exactly right, Gary. I think we should all have dinner and maybe a little nap afterwards before rehearsing act two. Where's Oria? (walks off, muttering) This is the last and absolutely last time I make a movie about a book! I don't care what they say at headquarters! I want an original screenplay, with none of these character actors!
And so it goes. Today we are going to rehearse that scene over, and go on to the next major scene, when Mel and Vidanric talk at dinner until their food turns cold. Then comes a meeting with the costume designers. This is very strange, but it turns out that the woman who plays Mora also designs and sews historic dresses; she even has her own small company, and acts on the side when she needs the money to purchase supplies. So at four thirty pm Mel and I are due at the trailer. Right-O.
Later, 9 o'clock pm
I'm beginning to sympathize with Mr. Director. Why is it that the weirdest actors always sign on fore the movies on books? Okay, here's the scenario.
Rehearsal: scene three again
Nee: (touches Mel's wrist) Let us make a pact. If you will come to Athanarel and dance at my wedding, I will undertake to teach you everything you need to know about Court life. And I'll help you select a wardrobe-and no one need ever know.
Mel: (swallows, breathes hard through nose)
Nee: What is it? Do you mistrust me?
Mel: (shakes head wildly, until coronet comes loose, and braid flops over eye) Oww!
Mr. Director: Cut! Emily! If that happens again, just pretend it's part of the scene!
Mel: But Mr. Director, you're the one who's pretending its out of the ordinary. You stopped the scene!
Mr. Director: (scowls) Don't talk back to me! Your're only a debut actress! Scene!
Mel: (shakes head stiffly, intones dramatically) They would know..
Camera zooms outside the room to Bran (aka Brendan) and Vidanric (aka Tom), who are sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing cards.
Brendan: Okay, okay. Nee tells Mel that I'm a jerk, they giggle at the entire male race, and everything's happy again, and I get my dinner. Enough already.
Tom: (shaking head) They're having a special girl talk, Bran. These things take time.
Brendan: Okay. Trump card. (swipes pile of cards)
Rehearsal: Scene five
Nee and Mel are sitting on hassocks before a window overlooking the garden.
Nee: (shudders) How could you have lived through that and still be sane?
Mel: (laughs for a protracted amount of time, begins giggling uncontrollably) Am I sane? Hee-hee-hee.. am I sane?
Nee begins to look uncomfortable, edges off the hassock.
Mel: (still laughing uncontrollably, now rolling on the floor) Ha, ha, ha! Hee-hee! Am I sane?
Honestly, what is that girl on?
April 30
It was getting too late last night, so I had to leave off the costume fitting until today. Lights are out strictly at nine thirty, because we actresses need to retain our fresh, youthful appearance so that the movie industry can continue drawing in adolescent boys and wistful girls. Everyone wishes that she could be an actress, but believe me, there are times when I wish that I could retire at an early age and go after a career in.. oh, I don't know.. demolition. Those times most frequently occur when my agent whisks a third slice of pizza or gigantic, fudge-chunk, carmel- oozing, rocky road, peanut swirl landslide sundae out of my hands. (Sigh wistfully).
Small wonder that I consider Savona synonymous to a hot fudge sundae, since both are out of my reach. Yep. The bad news is, he looked into Tamara's eyes for a full six seconds. He's a goner.
How am I to compete with a slender, statuesque, blue-eyed, long- lashed actress with fantastic bone structure? Huh?
Anyway, incident Mora. Around four thirty, Crazy Mel and I trekked over to the costume trailer, which stands in the cluster of trailers just behind a convenient screen of woodland. We climbed up the metal stairs into the domain of Mora, all blithely and innocently (remember, this was before we had fallen into the web of desperate, twisted psychological intrigue of Mora), and took off our sweatshirts for measuring. (Yea, and we were wearing shirts underneath, in case you too have a twisted mind.)
Mora is tall and thin, with gray-streaked hair and sharp, small eyes. Very strong body build, despite the thinness. We rehearsed our lines as she measured us, the scene in which Mel meets Mora for the first time and warns Mora, quite rightly, that she is not sophisticated. Then Mora laced us into our morning dresses, and gave us the Mora Costumes Initiation Speech.
Mora: (pulling on bodice laces.) You actors think that you run the show, saying your lines and looking gorgeous. But as long as I'm around, you'll remember the little people. And the little people did NOT like to keep patching holes in stockings and mending ripped seams. So you will stand, not sit, so that you do not crumple this priceless fabric, and you will at all times walk sedately, instead of running, to avoid tripping and ripping your gowns.
(I sneak a glance at Mel, thinking 'nice knowing you.')
Mora: (moving to Mel, and tying her bodice laces) I expect you to hand your costumes to your wardrobe assistant after you have changed into your regular clothes, and I expect you to maintain your current weight, so that the little people are not forced to waste precious time in altering your costumes. (yanks savagely on Mel's laces, pulling them tighter and tighter)
Mel: (nervously whispers to me) This kind of reminds me of the part in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, when the witch kills Snow White by tying her laces too tight.
Mora: (stalks over to built-in cabinets and pulls out two gold hairnets and a spool of ribbon) You will please not snag your stockings. You will wear shoes at all times. You will not attempt to go puddle-hopping while in your costume. You will not eat while in your costume. You will not apply makeup while in your costume. You will not doze off while in your costume. (begins pinning Mel's headdress on with long, sharp pins)
Mel: Oww! (leans over and whispers nervously to Nee) This also reminds me of the part when the witch kills Snow White by thrusting a poisoned pin in her scalp.
Nee: (as Mora advances on her with pins) Unnn.
Gotta go. Mr. Director is calling for Tlanth party to assemble for instructions on eating and serving food in Remalna style. Oh, please, I already know when to use the salad fork and when to use the fish fork. Can't wait until we have dancing lessons. Maybe I'll get to dance with Savona!
This is all fictional: sadly, a movie of Court Duel is not being made, but I thought that it would be fun to write a log from the point of view of Daine Winchester, the fictional actress playing the role of Nee. So here it all is, from the beginning of filming to the premiere in Hollywood.
Court Duel: the Movie
The official movie log of Daine Winchester, aka Nimiar Argaliar
April 21
I was always sort of sad that I never kept a journal in my high school years, because even if I do have an actress' incredible memory, I do not remember every single joke and note exchanged during those days. So I am determined to keep a journal now, and it shall be both copious AND consistent. Because, after all, who wants to remember high school, the eight hour long days of daily incarceration? Who would, when she can remember every day of shooting Court Duel: the Movie?
I, Daine, fully intend herewith to keep an accurate log of the making of Court Duel, complete with script, bloopers, and scenarios. Okay. So lets begin.
April 22
This movie is going to be so cool. I predict that once it premieres in theatres everyone will rush to their nearest bookseller's and buy a copy of Crown Duel. Harry Potter, move aside. (A/N: S'true. Sherwood Smith doesn't get half the recognition that she deserves.) And when that happens, I am going to publish this log. So now I have money as motivation, and not the hope of "looking back on yesteryear." Goody. People like to believe that writers work because they are compelled by the little divine voices inside their heads... uh, no. Writers like money, too.
Mr. Director is almost finished amassing the cast; we have the Marquise, Fialma, Elenet, Shevreath, Flauvic. Note about Flauvic: very good- looking, but, uh, slightly weird. I don't know, but I kind of get the impression that he's not all with it. He never seems interested but in one thing, and I think that I know what that one thing is: Flauvic himself.
April 24
We have Savona.
Loooong pause while I contemplate him. Even looooooonger pause while I gather my thoughts and return them to this journal. He is sooooooo good looking. Where did Mr. Director FIND him? Tall, powerful build, long waving dark hair, and a rakish smile... you know the sort. Did Ms. Smith right the character of Savona with him in mind?
Gotta go. Cast meeting with director and company.
April 25
At the cast meeting Mr. Director announced that the first part of the movie, when Mel is still at Tlanth, is going to be shot in England, at an old castle. Showed us shots. Perfect.
Mr. Handsome sat one chair away from me. Perfect.
Afterwards, we went out to eat, in a sort of get-acquainted-with-your colleagues dinner party at this place downtown called the Plum Tree. I sat next to the actor playing Vidanric. Nice guy, name of Tom. He grew up on a ranch in Northern California and is very good around horses and quite athletic, which is one reason Mr. Director hired him.
The whole Remalna crew is here: everyone I mentioned before, Trishe, Renna, Bran, Geral, Derek, Meliara (she is so adorable; five foot two, tiny, tiny, tiny), Princess Elestra, etc. etc.
April 26
During transatlantic flight to England, Continental Airlines
I hate flying.
Later
I still hate flying.
Later
To cheer me up, Meliara is singing "If Your Happy and You Know It" over and over, and clapping her hands energetically at the end of each verse. She is so small she can sit on Vidanric's lap. Contrary to character, she seems to have taken a liking to him..
Later
Bran and Mel are now singing two part harmony of "99 Bottles of Beer on the wall". Now joined by Vidanric in trio rendition of "My name is John Jingleheimer Smith." Over and over and over. This is insane. How am I going to look at Vidanric et al with respect during filming? How am I going to make lovey-dovey eyes at my betrothed after this?
April 27
En route to filming location
England is very nice, very nice. But if anyone says that the English are prim and proper after this, I'm going to laugh my head off. Feel like laughing now, only its one of those weird hysterical giggles that result from too much stress. Where is Motel6 on the horizon?
April 28
On location
Beautiful. I am the luckiest actress in the world. The drive up was a kille,( more "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"), but just the sight of the castle as we rounded the bend through the forest was gratifying enough. The castle is set on a low hill, surrounded by forested mountains. The forest doesn't come so close to the castle on the east side, which is where the gardens are. Crew and carpenters have already begun constructing a village on the slopes, with plenty of twisting lanes running through the village and small kitchen gardens. Why, there's even a blacksmith's shed, where the horses are kept-for real. Every actor or actress who is going to be riding in the movie has been given a horse and assigned to a trainer. I ride only once, and that in a party scene, so I get any old horse. Boo hoo.
Rehearsal in fifteen minutes. Going to scout out the castle with Meliara, who is racing up the hill like a little kid. Boy, what is that girl on? Prozac?
Thirty minutes later
Okay, so it doesn't look like there is... Was. going to be a rehearsal in fifteen minutes. Supposedly, the actress who was going to play Tamara was going to meet us here (she is a native of England), but so far she's a no show. Not even a call from her agent with a lame excuse about a forgotten meeting with her personal trainer. (Hey, it happens all the time in Hollywood.)
April 29
Up bright and early, made a trip to the bathroom. Word of warning: If any of my readers decide to become an actress and sign onto a period/fantasy movie, be sure to ascertain if there will be running water. Note to myself: purchase toilet paper at nearest supermarket, which might be as far away as 60 miles.
I have some time before rehearsals up at the castle begin, so I'll write more about yesterday in between munching on my croissant and sipping lukewarm coffee (courtesy of Singing Stein catering).
Tamara did show up, but how she did...! Either that girl has one very well paid publicity manager, or she has a twisted, conniving little mind. Ten minutes after I wrote the last entry, we all heard the sounds of galloping, and we turned, and saw this woman racing towards us, up the road, on a horse (which later turned out to be studio property, loaned for the afternoon).
Woman: (pulls reins, guiding horse to a stop. Leaps lightly off. Removes riding helmet, shakes out long, glossy, curly, black hair.) Sorry I'm late. I couldn't help myself, really, but this horse is so... (waives hands expressively).. Magnificent. I lost track of the time. Please don't desolate me by telling me I've made you all wait.
Mr. Director: Um, um.
Bran, Danric, Geral, and Derek: Oh, no. Not at all. (all rush to help her lead her to the castle)
Flauvic: (turns around, looks at Tamara slightly startled, then annoyed. Quickly refers to mirror in wallet.)
Remaining female cast members: (exchange dark, ominous looks)
Now, I pride myself on giving everyone a fair chance. We are equal, first impressions are misleading, ladidadida. But I don't think that I am going to like Tamara, especially since she talked to Savona all throughout the rehearsal session. He didn't look at her much. Good. Maybe if he avoids looking at her full in the face he'll be safe. Because, sadly, all boys are alike, and if he's sees that drop-dead-perfect-match-for-him face, he's a goner.
Rehearsal: scene three
Nee: (sighs) Your brother is a dear, and I do love him for the way he never fears to tell the truth. But he really doesn't understand some things, does he?
Mel: (squeaks) No.
Nee: (cocks her head, running hands over instrument. At this moment she realizes that by tilting her head she can get a good view of Savona, who is talking to Tamara. She glowers.) "No one.. Uh (greatly distracted by Tamara, who touches Savona's arm)... well, no ordinary person... uh..
Mr. Director: Line, Daine?
Nee: (sighs) No, Mr. Director. (assumes position again) ..sits down... lapses into staring coma
Mr. Director: (sighs) Cut! Cut!
Savona: (noticing Nee, walks over) Hey. Something wrong?
Nee: (very fast) Noonewellnoordinarypersonsitsdowntoaharpandplaysperfectly. Ittakestimeandtraining.
Savona: (startled. Lifts hands) Hey, I know it's only first rehearsal, but might I suggest a little R&R, kid?
Mr. Director: (looks relieved) That's exactly right, Gary. I think we should all have dinner and maybe a little nap afterwards before rehearsing act two. Where's Oria? (walks off, muttering) This is the last and absolutely last time I make a movie about a book! I don't care what they say at headquarters! I want an original screenplay, with none of these character actors!
And so it goes. Today we are going to rehearse that scene over, and go on to the next major scene, when Mel and Vidanric talk at dinner until their food turns cold. Then comes a meeting with the costume designers. This is very strange, but it turns out that the woman who plays Mora also designs and sews historic dresses; she even has her own small company, and acts on the side when she needs the money to purchase supplies. So at four thirty pm Mel and I are due at the trailer. Right-O.
Later, 9 o'clock pm
I'm beginning to sympathize with Mr. Director. Why is it that the weirdest actors always sign on fore the movies on books? Okay, here's the scenario.
Rehearsal: scene three again
Nee: (touches Mel's wrist) Let us make a pact. If you will come to Athanarel and dance at my wedding, I will undertake to teach you everything you need to know about Court life. And I'll help you select a wardrobe-and no one need ever know.
Mel: (swallows, breathes hard through nose)
Nee: What is it? Do you mistrust me?
Mel: (shakes head wildly, until coronet comes loose, and braid flops over eye) Oww!
Mr. Director: Cut! Emily! If that happens again, just pretend it's part of the scene!
Mel: But Mr. Director, you're the one who's pretending its out of the ordinary. You stopped the scene!
Mr. Director: (scowls) Don't talk back to me! Your're only a debut actress! Scene!
Mel: (shakes head stiffly, intones dramatically) They would know..
Camera zooms outside the room to Bran (aka Brendan) and Vidanric (aka Tom), who are sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing cards.
Brendan: Okay, okay. Nee tells Mel that I'm a jerk, they giggle at the entire male race, and everything's happy again, and I get my dinner. Enough already.
Tom: (shaking head) They're having a special girl talk, Bran. These things take time.
Brendan: Okay. Trump card. (swipes pile of cards)
Rehearsal: Scene five
Nee and Mel are sitting on hassocks before a window overlooking the garden.
Nee: (shudders) How could you have lived through that and still be sane?
Mel: (laughs for a protracted amount of time, begins giggling uncontrollably) Am I sane? Hee-hee-hee.. am I sane?
Nee begins to look uncomfortable, edges off the hassock.
Mel: (still laughing uncontrollably, now rolling on the floor) Ha, ha, ha! Hee-hee! Am I sane?
Honestly, what is that girl on?
April 30
It was getting too late last night, so I had to leave off the costume fitting until today. Lights are out strictly at nine thirty, because we actresses need to retain our fresh, youthful appearance so that the movie industry can continue drawing in adolescent boys and wistful girls. Everyone wishes that she could be an actress, but believe me, there are times when I wish that I could retire at an early age and go after a career in.. oh, I don't know.. demolition. Those times most frequently occur when my agent whisks a third slice of pizza or gigantic, fudge-chunk, carmel- oozing, rocky road, peanut swirl landslide sundae out of my hands. (Sigh wistfully).
Small wonder that I consider Savona synonymous to a hot fudge sundae, since both are out of my reach. Yep. The bad news is, he looked into Tamara's eyes for a full six seconds. He's a goner.
How am I to compete with a slender, statuesque, blue-eyed, long- lashed actress with fantastic bone structure? Huh?
Anyway, incident Mora. Around four thirty, Crazy Mel and I trekked over to the costume trailer, which stands in the cluster of trailers just behind a convenient screen of woodland. We climbed up the metal stairs into the domain of Mora, all blithely and innocently (remember, this was before we had fallen into the web of desperate, twisted psychological intrigue of Mora), and took off our sweatshirts for measuring. (Yea, and we were wearing shirts underneath, in case you too have a twisted mind.)
Mora is tall and thin, with gray-streaked hair and sharp, small eyes. Very strong body build, despite the thinness. We rehearsed our lines as she measured us, the scene in which Mel meets Mora for the first time and warns Mora, quite rightly, that she is not sophisticated. Then Mora laced us into our morning dresses, and gave us the Mora Costumes Initiation Speech.
Mora: (pulling on bodice laces.) You actors think that you run the show, saying your lines and looking gorgeous. But as long as I'm around, you'll remember the little people. And the little people did NOT like to keep patching holes in stockings and mending ripped seams. So you will stand, not sit, so that you do not crumple this priceless fabric, and you will at all times walk sedately, instead of running, to avoid tripping and ripping your gowns.
(I sneak a glance at Mel, thinking 'nice knowing you.')
Mora: (moving to Mel, and tying her bodice laces) I expect you to hand your costumes to your wardrobe assistant after you have changed into your regular clothes, and I expect you to maintain your current weight, so that the little people are not forced to waste precious time in altering your costumes. (yanks savagely on Mel's laces, pulling them tighter and tighter)
Mel: (nervously whispers to me) This kind of reminds me of the part in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, when the witch kills Snow White by tying her laces too tight.
Mora: (stalks over to built-in cabinets and pulls out two gold hairnets and a spool of ribbon) You will please not snag your stockings. You will wear shoes at all times. You will not attempt to go puddle-hopping while in your costume. You will not eat while in your costume. You will not apply makeup while in your costume. You will not doze off while in your costume. (begins pinning Mel's headdress on with long, sharp pins)
Mel: Oww! (leans over and whispers nervously to Nee) This also reminds me of the part when the witch kills Snow White by thrusting a poisoned pin in her scalp.
Nee: (as Mora advances on her with pins) Unnn.
Gotta go. Mr. Director is calling for Tlanth party to assemble for instructions on eating and serving food in Remalna style. Oh, please, I already know when to use the salad fork and when to use the fish fork. Can't wait until we have dancing lessons. Maybe I'll get to dance with Savona!