Disclaimer: I own nothing except the crazy ideas for this story which I so
dearly hope is original. The rest belongs to you know who and bla bla bla.
I don't know why I have to do this, but I guess if it makes people happy I
will.
A/N: Here is the next and unawaited ch. 6! Yay yay rah rah rah.
Mania at Hogwarts: Ch. 6 - Detention and Barney
Seamus & Dean were walking across the grounds with Filch until they reached the lake.
"Um.what are we supposed to do here, at the lake, at this hour?" Dean asked.
"Shut up and I'll tell ya!" Argued Filch. "You do remember Care of Magical Creatures earlier today don't ya?"
"How could we forget?" Seamus said recalling the horrid memory. They both shuddered at the thought while Filch continued.
"Well, remember the two filthy students that so unfortunately happened to errm.well, that incident ya know? Well yer job is to, errm.retrieve the bodies."
"RETRIEVE THE BODIES?!! WHAT IF THERE IS NO BODIES LEFT?! THE GIANT SQUID PROBABLY ATE THEM!" Seamus yelled in a thick Irish accent.
"Well, yes. We know for sure that is what happened," Filch said in a "that's so obvious" voice.
"I don't like where this is going," Dean whispered.
"So what yer goin ter have to do is find the giant squid, try to kill it, and bring the bodies back," Filch drawled like this happens every other day.
"THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!" It was Dean's turn to yell.
"Yea, it probably is," Filch yelled. "But that doesn't mean yer not goin ter try! Here ya go."
Filch handed them both spears and some gillyweed.
"This is ALL we get to use?" Seamus asked, his eyes starting to glaze over and roll into the back of his head.
Without another word said, Filch dragged the boys to the waters edge and pushed them in. "Good luck," Filch said in a false voice. He turned around and started his walk back to the castle.
"Did Filch just wish us good luck?" Dean whispered to Seamus.
A loud, "NOT!!!" echoed throughout the grounds followed by a loud cackle.
Both boys signed, swallowed the gillyweed, and began their impossible quest.
*Meanwhile*
Harry, Hermione, and Ron were just strolling around the corridors when they found Malfoy sitting in the same corner as this morning.
"Malfoy, have you been there all day?" Hermione asked, snorting loudly.
Harry and Ron gave her odd looks at her snorting.
"Yes, they, they, THEY NEVER RETURNED BARNEY!" he screamed.
At this, Harry and Hermione dropped to the floor with uncontrollable laughter.
"Ron, what's the matter with you? Don't you find this hilarious?" Harry asked.
"Um.yeah, hehe!" Ron said, stuttering lightly.
Harry gave Hermione a questioning look and shrugged.
"But Malfoy, didn't we tell you? We found Barney!" Hermione squealed.
At this Malfoy's eyes widened and he jumped up.
"Give him to me now!" he screamed.
"Well, you see. We DID find him, but not exactly how you would of liked," she continued.
Malfoy looked at her questioningly.
"Maybe this will explain it," Harry said catching on.
Out of nowhere a song began to play.
Hermione: Happened one day in the studio, Dancing around in a do-si-do
Harry: The purple monstrosity was waving his arms, We were falling victim to his evil charms
Hermione: He brushed against a candle and he started to smoke, And now we're all laughing at the dinosaur choke
They both gave Ron a glare and he started to sing, though somewhat chokefully.
Ron: Oh boy, Barney's on fire! It's what we've always desired.
Hermione: We'll watch the flames get higher and higher
Harry: Just don't try to put him out!
Ron: (in the background) Kill him! Kill him!
Harry: Purple fur was flying ashes everywhere, And all of the kids just continued to stare
Hermione: The guy inside the suit, he started to yell, We probably should've helped him but what the hell
Harry: He threw himself violently against the wall, He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl
Ron: (in tears) Oh Boy, Barney's on fire! This is our secret desire!
Harry: We'll watch the flames get higher and higher!
Hermione: But don't you try to put him out!
Ron: (in whispers) Break it down for me fellas. (Acting like Barney screaming and saying, "I love you.you..love..me)
Harry: Oh boy, Barney's on fire! This is what we've always desired!
Hermione: Won't you help us fan the flames higher? And you better not try to put him out
Harry: (slower) Barney's no longer ignited, We're feeling somewhat slighted
Hermione: He's lying in a heap on the floor, We poked him with a stick cause we had to be sure he was dead After the song ended, Ron ran over to Draco and put his arm around him. Malfoy was crying so loudly he was out of control and screaming.
"HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?! WHY?! I UNDERSTAND *CHOKE* THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME, BUT THERE WAS NO *HIC* REASON TO DO THAT!"
With that said, he ran down the hall and out of sight, followed closely by Ron.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"That. was. the. funniest thing. in the history. of the world!" Harry panted.
"Yes, it really was, but don't you think we should actually return his barney now?" Hermione asked, snorting a little.
"Yeah, I suppose so," Harry sighed, and without they started their walk to the ever so pink dungeons.
When they got down to the dungeons they stopped because they couldn't remember the password. They started naming various things and finally Hermione said sarcastically, "All hail the deceased Barney??"
As weird as it may seem, it worked and they stepped into the common room.
When they reached the 6th year boys dormitories, they heard voices coming from inside.
"Calm down, Draco. I will buy you 10 new Barneys tomorrow," Ron's voice drifted into the hallway.
"You, you, you will?" Draco stuttered.
"Yes, now just calm down, please," Ron said softly.
"Well, I have one other Barney still, but its just not the same. Nobody can ever replace my first Barney!"
Harry set the Barney down outside the door and knocked softly, and then they ran farther up the stairs so they would be out of sight but could still see and hear.
The door opened and Malfoy's face appeared in the door frame.
"Whose there?" he muttered.
He was about to go back inside when he heard a squeak. He looked down and his eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in anger. "YOU ARE NOT BARNEY! YOU, YOU, YOU IMPOSTER!! You look nothing like my real Barney! The real Barney has a orange dot on its thigh!" Malfoy yelled in outrage, obviously ignoring the quickly fading spot on its thigh.
He then picked up the "imposter barney", and took him inside. What Harry and Hermione heard was not pretty, but not either of them were prepared for what came next.
"AND DON'T EVER SHOW YOUR GREEN, UGLY SELF HERE AGAIN!" Malfoy screamed then slammed the door shut.
Lets just say Barney had a few body parts amputated. He no longer had a head, err. well, he did, but.well you get the picture. Where the "belly" was supposed to be was 3 knifes stuck into it, and its tail was reattached to its, erm. well, whatever that was. It was hard to tell.
They both walked over the mangled, once fluffy and plush toy. There was a note attached to it. It read, "Use this box of matches to erm.well, you know. JUST GET RID OF THIS IMPOSTER!"
"Gladly!" Harry cackled evilly. He lit a match and set the "imposter" on fire. Hermione quickly knocked on the door and they ran as fast as they could up the stairs.
The door opened and Malfoy reappeared. He saw the smoldering doll and a look of utter horror appeared on his face. "Ron, hurry! Bring Barney out here now! Ron brought the replacement Barney to the door. Draco quickly dumped a glass of water on the Barney and examined him closely. He saw a faded orange dot on its right thigh. Draco started to tear up and before long he was shaking with uncontrollable tears. "It.really.was.BARNEY!!" he cried.
"It's all Harry and Hermione's fault. They had me all worked up cuz of that stupid song! I bet they set fire to this one too! Ooh I'm gonna kill them!"
With that he shut the door with a huge slam and Harry and Hermione ran for their lives trying to come up with a hiding place, while Draco thought up a plan for revenge!
TO BE CONTINUED
A/N: So, how'd ya like it? It's quite long isn't it? Still to come, why are the teachers acting so weird? What is happening with Seamus and Dean? And what in the world is Draco plotting? Still to come on the next chapter of MANIA AT HOGWARTS!! ~*Leah*~
A/N: Here is the next and unawaited ch. 6! Yay yay rah rah rah.
Mania at Hogwarts: Ch. 6 - Detention and Barney
Seamus & Dean were walking across the grounds with Filch until they reached the lake.
"Um.what are we supposed to do here, at the lake, at this hour?" Dean asked.
"Shut up and I'll tell ya!" Argued Filch. "You do remember Care of Magical Creatures earlier today don't ya?"
"How could we forget?" Seamus said recalling the horrid memory. They both shuddered at the thought while Filch continued.
"Well, remember the two filthy students that so unfortunately happened to errm.well, that incident ya know? Well yer job is to, errm.retrieve the bodies."
"RETRIEVE THE BODIES?!! WHAT IF THERE IS NO BODIES LEFT?! THE GIANT SQUID PROBABLY ATE THEM!" Seamus yelled in a thick Irish accent.
"Well, yes. We know for sure that is what happened," Filch said in a "that's so obvious" voice.
"I don't like where this is going," Dean whispered.
"So what yer goin ter have to do is find the giant squid, try to kill it, and bring the bodies back," Filch drawled like this happens every other day.
"THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!" It was Dean's turn to yell.
"Yea, it probably is," Filch yelled. "But that doesn't mean yer not goin ter try! Here ya go."
Filch handed them both spears and some gillyweed.
"This is ALL we get to use?" Seamus asked, his eyes starting to glaze over and roll into the back of his head.
Without another word said, Filch dragged the boys to the waters edge and pushed them in. "Good luck," Filch said in a false voice. He turned around and started his walk back to the castle.
"Did Filch just wish us good luck?" Dean whispered to Seamus.
A loud, "NOT!!!" echoed throughout the grounds followed by a loud cackle.
Both boys signed, swallowed the gillyweed, and began their impossible quest.
*Meanwhile*
Harry, Hermione, and Ron were just strolling around the corridors when they found Malfoy sitting in the same corner as this morning.
"Malfoy, have you been there all day?" Hermione asked, snorting loudly.
Harry and Ron gave her odd looks at her snorting.
"Yes, they, they, THEY NEVER RETURNED BARNEY!" he screamed.
At this, Harry and Hermione dropped to the floor with uncontrollable laughter.
"Ron, what's the matter with you? Don't you find this hilarious?" Harry asked.
"Um.yeah, hehe!" Ron said, stuttering lightly.
Harry gave Hermione a questioning look and shrugged.
"But Malfoy, didn't we tell you? We found Barney!" Hermione squealed.
At this Malfoy's eyes widened and he jumped up.
"Give him to me now!" he screamed.
"Well, you see. We DID find him, but not exactly how you would of liked," she continued.
Malfoy looked at her questioningly.
"Maybe this will explain it," Harry said catching on.
Out of nowhere a song began to play.
Hermione: Happened one day in the studio, Dancing around in a do-si-do
Harry: The purple monstrosity was waving his arms, We were falling victim to his evil charms
Hermione: He brushed against a candle and he started to smoke, And now we're all laughing at the dinosaur choke
They both gave Ron a glare and he started to sing, though somewhat chokefully.
Ron: Oh boy, Barney's on fire! It's what we've always desired.
Hermione: We'll watch the flames get higher and higher
Harry: Just don't try to put him out!
Ron: (in the background) Kill him! Kill him!
Harry: Purple fur was flying ashes everywhere, And all of the kids just continued to stare
Hermione: The guy inside the suit, he started to yell, We probably should've helped him but what the hell
Harry: He threw himself violently against the wall, He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl
Ron: (in tears) Oh Boy, Barney's on fire! This is our secret desire!
Harry: We'll watch the flames get higher and higher!
Hermione: But don't you try to put him out!
Ron: (in whispers) Break it down for me fellas. (Acting like Barney screaming and saying, "I love you.you..love..me)
Harry: Oh boy, Barney's on fire! This is what we've always desired!
Hermione: Won't you help us fan the flames higher? And you better not try to put him out
Harry: (slower) Barney's no longer ignited, We're feeling somewhat slighted
Hermione: He's lying in a heap on the floor, We poked him with a stick cause we had to be sure he was dead After the song ended, Ron ran over to Draco and put his arm around him. Malfoy was crying so loudly he was out of control and screaming.
"HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?! WHY?! I UNDERSTAND *CHOKE* THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME, BUT THERE WAS NO *HIC* REASON TO DO THAT!"
With that said, he ran down the hall and out of sight, followed closely by Ron.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"That. was. the. funniest thing. in the history. of the world!" Harry panted.
"Yes, it really was, but don't you think we should actually return his barney now?" Hermione asked, snorting a little.
"Yeah, I suppose so," Harry sighed, and without they started their walk to the ever so pink dungeons.
When they got down to the dungeons they stopped because they couldn't remember the password. They started naming various things and finally Hermione said sarcastically, "All hail the deceased Barney??"
As weird as it may seem, it worked and they stepped into the common room.
When they reached the 6th year boys dormitories, they heard voices coming from inside.
"Calm down, Draco. I will buy you 10 new Barneys tomorrow," Ron's voice drifted into the hallway.
"You, you, you will?" Draco stuttered.
"Yes, now just calm down, please," Ron said softly.
"Well, I have one other Barney still, but its just not the same. Nobody can ever replace my first Barney!"
Harry set the Barney down outside the door and knocked softly, and then they ran farther up the stairs so they would be out of sight but could still see and hear.
The door opened and Malfoy's face appeared in the door frame.
"Whose there?" he muttered.
He was about to go back inside when he heard a squeak. He looked down and his eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in anger. "YOU ARE NOT BARNEY! YOU, YOU, YOU IMPOSTER!! You look nothing like my real Barney! The real Barney has a orange dot on its thigh!" Malfoy yelled in outrage, obviously ignoring the quickly fading spot on its thigh.
He then picked up the "imposter barney", and took him inside. What Harry and Hermione heard was not pretty, but not either of them were prepared for what came next.
"AND DON'T EVER SHOW YOUR GREEN, UGLY SELF HERE AGAIN!" Malfoy screamed then slammed the door shut.
Lets just say Barney had a few body parts amputated. He no longer had a head, err. well, he did, but.well you get the picture. Where the "belly" was supposed to be was 3 knifes stuck into it, and its tail was reattached to its, erm. well, whatever that was. It was hard to tell.
They both walked over the mangled, once fluffy and plush toy. There was a note attached to it. It read, "Use this box of matches to erm.well, you know. JUST GET RID OF THIS IMPOSTER!"
"Gladly!" Harry cackled evilly. He lit a match and set the "imposter" on fire. Hermione quickly knocked on the door and they ran as fast as they could up the stairs.
The door opened and Malfoy reappeared. He saw the smoldering doll and a look of utter horror appeared on his face. "Ron, hurry! Bring Barney out here now! Ron brought the replacement Barney to the door. Draco quickly dumped a glass of water on the Barney and examined him closely. He saw a faded orange dot on its right thigh. Draco started to tear up and before long he was shaking with uncontrollable tears. "It.really.was.BARNEY!!" he cried.
"It's all Harry and Hermione's fault. They had me all worked up cuz of that stupid song! I bet they set fire to this one too! Ooh I'm gonna kill them!"
With that he shut the door with a huge slam and Harry and Hermione ran for their lives trying to come up with a hiding place, while Draco thought up a plan for revenge!
TO BE CONTINUED
A/N: So, how'd ya like it? It's quite long isn't it? Still to come, why are the teachers acting so weird? What is happening with Seamus and Dean? And what in the world is Draco plotting? Still to come on the next chapter of MANIA AT HOGWARTS!! ~*Leah*~