Hey kitty,
I'm writing this to you cause you'll probably be the first one to find me. Heck you'll probably think that I'm just taking a really long nap or something. I always loved the way you kept thinking happy thoughts though I acted like I hated it. I guess your perkiness did annoy me a bit, being all happy when the world is such a shit but I guess that was just your way of dealing. Ignoring all the bullshit in our lives.
That's three more pills gone. I want to do this right so I'm spacing them out. 3 every 5 minutes. If I take too many at once I'll just end up chucking 'em all up. I really don't one to be one of those "almost" suicides that get saved because they were too dumb to even kill themselves, like some dumb valley girl who got dumped on Valentines Day.
Sorry about the valley girl crack.
I guess it's pretty obvious why I'm doing this. Its not like everyone doesn't kn0w how fucked up I am over not being able to touch. Once the Prof gave me this sermon on seeing it like a disability and alotta people without legs or arms lead long full lives. But kitty, its not the same, its not. The thing is I CAN touch people. I can but when I do I steal everything that they are. I suck em dry. You know, that's why I started reading all those vamp novels, see what was so fucking romantic about leeching off people like that.
Another three.
Anne Rice tries to make it sound like this huge orgasm, well guess what ANNE? I CANT HAVE ONE! But that's not true I guess, I give them to myself all the time but then those don't count. An orgasm should be like a gift, something given. Just like a kiss. Or someone taking my hand.
Fuck I gotta stop crying. I never cry.
I'll never have someone hold me after making love, skin to skin, feel their warmth and love flowing through me and into me, letting me know that life will be alright..i'll never have that.
Kitty please don't cry. I just took the last three in the bottle. That makes 12. The bottle says not to take more then 2 every 8 hours so I should be fine. Im really tired. Im going to lay down now.
I love you Kitty. Always will.
Marie
I'm writing this to you cause you'll probably be the first one to find me. Heck you'll probably think that I'm just taking a really long nap or something. I always loved the way you kept thinking happy thoughts though I acted like I hated it. I guess your perkiness did annoy me a bit, being all happy when the world is such a shit but I guess that was just your way of dealing. Ignoring all the bullshit in our lives.
That's three more pills gone. I want to do this right so I'm spacing them out. 3 every 5 minutes. If I take too many at once I'll just end up chucking 'em all up. I really don't one to be one of those "almost" suicides that get saved because they were too dumb to even kill themselves, like some dumb valley girl who got dumped on Valentines Day.
Sorry about the valley girl crack.
I guess it's pretty obvious why I'm doing this. Its not like everyone doesn't kn0w how fucked up I am over not being able to touch. Once the Prof gave me this sermon on seeing it like a disability and alotta people without legs or arms lead long full lives. But kitty, its not the same, its not. The thing is I CAN touch people. I can but when I do I steal everything that they are. I suck em dry. You know, that's why I started reading all those vamp novels, see what was so fucking romantic about leeching off people like that.
Another three.
Anne Rice tries to make it sound like this huge orgasm, well guess what ANNE? I CANT HAVE ONE! But that's not true I guess, I give them to myself all the time but then those don't count. An orgasm should be like a gift, something given. Just like a kiss. Or someone taking my hand.
Fuck I gotta stop crying. I never cry.
I'll never have someone hold me after making love, skin to skin, feel their warmth and love flowing through me and into me, letting me know that life will be alright..i'll never have that.
Kitty please don't cry. I just took the last three in the bottle. That makes 12. The bottle says not to take more then 2 every 8 hours so I should be fine. Im really tired. Im going to lay down now.
I love you Kitty. Always will.
Marie