Chapter 2: More Beginnings, and Some Endings
After that, things happen quickly. Jack never goes back home. Instead, he gets a job and moves in with Eric. They tell their families two months after they start dating, and both sets react with shock, but happiness for them. They outgrow the apartment, and move to a bigger one, which is too expensive. Eric finally admits that the problem isn't the apartments, but where they are. New York isn't a great city, but it isn't home. So they move back to Philly. At first, they stay in an apartment that's smaller than the first one they had in New York, but its okay, because it's home. Then Mr Feeny tells them that he's finally retiring, to Florida. He tells them that he wants someone that he trusts to stay in the house. "Despite that, I'm giving it to you," he deadpans, making Eric and Jack laugh, until they realize that they have a house. Then they celebrate.
"Eric."
Eric snaps his head up, realizing that Jack must have been calling for a while. "Oh, sorry. What?"
"Cory's on the phone." Jack has an odd note in his voice, and Eric shoots him a look of concern before taking the phone.
"Hey Cor, what's up?"
"Eric, are you guys planning on visiting here anytime soon?" Cory asks. His voice is rough, and Eric hears the same thing in his voice that he had heard in Jack's.
"We can," Eric says cautiously. "Cory, what's wrong?"
"I just want to see my brother. Is that so wrong?" Despite Cory's attempt to be cheerful, Eric can hear the roughness intensify.
"Okay, when?" Eric says, relenting.
"Friday okay?"
"Fine with me." Eric turns around to ask Jack, and starts a little when he realizes that Jack's left the room. "Do you want us to call you when we get in?"
"Sure. See you then."
Cory hangs up and Eric goes off to find his missing boyfriend. Jack's curled up on their bed, hugging a pillow. "Hey," Eric whispers, "What's wrong?"
"Topanga's... she's sick, Eric."
Eric sits down on the bed. "How sick?"
"Very sick. Um, the doctors... they're saying that there's no hope."
As the information absorbs into Eric's head, he takes a deep breath and holds it for a minute, trying to stay calm. "How?"
"She has leukemia, and it's untreatable. And she's had it for quite a while, Cory said."
Eric nods, remembering Topanga's weight loss and her puzzlement over it. And her fatigue that finally made her give up her treasured internship. He tries to say something else, but the words stick in his throat. Finally, he gives up on speaking and curls himself around Jack. They lay together for a while, giving and drawing comfort from each other.
"Will everyone be there?" Eric finally asks.
"I didn't ask." Jack sighs, and his breath tickles Eric's neck. "I guess we should pack."
But they don't get up until much later.
In the end, they decide to drive as opposed to flying. They switch off behind the wheel, and arrive in the middle of the afternoon. Typical New York summer weather, it's sticky and sunny. It's the only thing that Eric misses.
They go straight to the apartment, and Shawn lets them in. As they come in, Shawn says quietly, "They went for a walk." Then he embraces them both. "I never see you guys! All closed off in Philly and all."
"You can always come and visit us," Jack points out.
"I'm going to have to take you up on that offer." Shawn has an odd note in his voice, and Jack looks at him strangely before Shawn says, "Later," in a soft voice. Jack takes him at his word.
For a little while, they stand around, a little awkwardly, until Eric asks Shawn about his next book. Shawn tells them about the plot, and promises them advance copies before Cory and Topanga come back in.
Eric watches closely as they walk into the apartment. He's not sure what he was expecting to see. He had some vague idea that Topanga would be wearing scarves or a wig, but her hair is present and accounted for, but its trademark vitality is gone, and it just hangs limply down her back. Topanga herself is thinner and pale, as if there were no blood left in her body. She smiles when she notices Jack and Eric, but doesn't speak. She sits down on the couch, obviously catching her breath. Cory hangs up the sweater that she was wearing and sits next to her.
"Hi, Eric, Jack," Cory says, looking at them steadily.
"Hi, Cory, Topanga," Eric echoes, a little more seriously than he intends to, and turns to Jack, who is still silent. Giving up on speech, Eric sits down on a chair, looking at everyone.
"Hello, Eric," Topanga says softly, still smiling gently. "Hi, Jack."
Jack finally says a greeting to Cory and Topanga and goes to sit on the couch beside her. She puts her head on his shoulder. Looking back, when Cory heard about Jack and Eric getting together, he reacted typically for him, with shock, but Topanga immediately told people that Jack and Eric were her brothers-in-law, and adopted them both as surrogate big brothers to her. Jack strokes her hair and asks, "How're you feeling, honey?"
"Mostly tired." She pauses, and then says, "A little scared," quietly.
Eric wants to say something trite like 'it's okay to be scared' or 'we all are', but instead, he watches quietly as Topanga looks over to Cory and tells him that she's going to lie down for a while. He helps her into the bedroom and comes back out. "So, who's up for dinner?"
They end up going to a corner deli, and while eating (Eric can never remember what) Cory slowly tells them how they found out.
"Basically, she started bruising really easily. Like, she bumped her shin on the coffee table, and it left a big black mark that lasted a long time. And the tiredness that never went away- it was worrying her, us, so she went to her doctor. They eventually diagnosed her, but it was too late by then." Cory looks down at the table. "So she's skipping chemo and everything, because it would only extend her life, not cure her."
The table sits in silence, food forgotten for the moment. As they sit there, Cory's cell goes off. He answers it and quickly runs out of the deli. Shawn follows without a beat. A minute later, Eric and Jack are chasing them, knowing that something must be wrong, but not knowing what.
They arrive back at the apartment, and Cory's already in the bedroom with Topanga when they get back in. Shawn's on the phone, saying something urgently. He covers the receiver with his hand and says rapidly, "Topanga has a nosebleed that she can't get to stop. I'm calling 911 now."
Eric nods and goes outside to flag the ambulance as Jack goes inside the bedroom to see if he can help. Cory's got Topanga sitting up, a big towel pressed to her face. Already the towel is showing signs of saturation. Jack tries to remember his medical training from the Peace Corps.
"Okay, help her lean forward. Topanga, can you hear me?" Jack looks at her closely. Her skin is a grayish color now, and she doesn't respond to Jack's calls, but obediently lets Cory lean her forward.
The paramedics come in and load her to the gurney. "We're going to Cedars," they tell Cory, who nods numbly and lets them go silently.
"C'mon Cory, we can ride in our car." Eric carefully guides Cory to the car, with Shawn and Jack following close behind.
They arrive at the hospital just as the ambulance pulls up and unloads the gurney. Cory talks to the paramedics and gets her checked in. He comes back to where Jack, Eric, and Shawn are standing. "I've been through this before. Um, it'll be a while before we can see her." He seems to deflate after he says this, and Eric gently leads him to the waiting area and sits him down.
They wait for about ten minutes before Topanga's doctor comes to talk to Cory. The doctor is kind, but blunt. "As you know, Topanga has a Do Not Resuscitate order. She's already asking to go home, and I agree with her. There's nothing we can do here that can't be done at home."
Cory nods slowly. "What can we do?"
"Basically, keep her comfortable. I've written her a prescription for a pain medication, a little stronger than the last one she was on, but she should tolerate it well. And of course, if you have any questions, feel free to call." He touches Cory's shoulder briefly before disappearing down a corridor.
Cory gazes down at the piece of paper the doctor left with him. "She didn't like the last one he gave her," he murmurs. "She wouldn't take them half the time."
"Well, why don't we get those filled anyway so she can have them if she needs them," Jack suggests. "Is there a pharmacy in here?"
"Yeah, there is. I can take that there while you get her checked out." Shawn takes the prescription and heads off while Jack and Eric follow Cory to Topanga's room.
When they get in there, Topanga is sitting on top of the bed, legs swung off of the side. She's swinging them back and forth, appearing much more relaxed then the rest of them.
"Are you ready?" Cory asks.
She smiles and nods. "Just waiting for a wheelchair. Where's Shawn?"
"The doctor gave you a new med today. He's at the pharmacy," Eric answers.
The nurse comes in with the discharge papers and the wheelchair just as Shawn comes up. They get everything and head out to the car, carefully putting Topanga in the front seat. She seems kinda cold, so they leave the windows rolled up, even though the temperature is 70 degrees outside. The ride back to the apartment isn't long, but seems hours long, especially since Topanga seems to be holding her breath every time the car rolls over a bump. When they finally get home, Cory gets her comfortable and gives her some of the medicine, over her protests. Once she's asleep, Jack and Eric excuse themselves, saying that they need to check into the hotel. Shawn offers to come with them. Knowing that he wants to talk to them, they agree.
Once they're in the room, Shawn says, "She's in a lot of pain."
Jack nods, agreeing. They sit in silence a little while longer before Shawn speaks up again. "I wanted to ask you guys for advice, but I don't think this is the best time. So can I just shelve it for now?"
"Fine with me," Eric sighs. "Right now, I don't want to think. I'm going to the pool." He grabs his suit and a towel and leaves the room.
Jack eyes Shawn carefully. "How are you holding up? I meant to ask you earlier."
"Better than I thought I would. I think I'm trying to be strong for both of them now. Maybe, after... I won't be so calm."
"I understand. Believe me." Jack runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "But you know you're always welcome. Always."
After Shawn goes back to the apartment, to take Cory food, Jack goes down to the pool to see Eric still doing laps. He cuts through the water smoothly, not one motion wasted. When he takes a breather, he sees Jack and swims over to where he's sitting. "When'd you come down?" Eric asks.
"A few minutes. Shawn left, so I thought I'd see what you wanted for dinner."
"You know, I'm not hungry. Maybe I'll grab something later," Eric replies vaguely. "Are you coming in?"
Normally, this would be a set up for something fun, or something X-rated, but Jack shakes his head. "I think I might just lie down. See you."
An hour later, as Jack is in that area between wakefulness and sleep, Eric comes in, dry but smelling of chlorine. He curls around Jack. "Is this okay?" he whispers into Jack's ear.
Jack murmurs something and presses himself closer. He lets himself drift off, comforted by the warmth around him.
Two days later, once Jack and Eric are back in Philly, they get a call from Shawn. He tells them emotionlessly that Topanga just died, and could they come back to New York? Of course, they tell him, and immediately turn around and hit the road.
Once they arrive, the first thing they do is make Cory eat something, since he hasn't since the day in the deli. Shawn, they make get some sleep and then they start making arrangements.
The week flies by in a haze of relatives' calls, cards, visits, and food gifts, until Saturday arrives, calmly sunny. As they stand in the cemetery after the short funeral, Eric thinks that the sky should be dark and pouring out the sorrow that he feels. He takes a look around, and knows that a lot of the people assembled feel the same way he does.
The burial over, the people start leaving in two and threes. Eric and Jack go over to Cory, who's standing with Mr and Mrs Laurence, who are united in their grief in their daughter. Mr and Mrs Matthews are here also, but as far away from each other as possible, in the gracelessness of the newly-divorced.
Everyone eventually migrates back to Cory's apartment. They eat the food that people have been bringing over in droves and make polite conversation before claming another commitment and leaving. Before long, it's just the old gang, including Rachel, who flew in from Uganda for this, and Angela, making one of her rare stateside visits, with Shawna. There's nothing that they say that comforts so much as their very presence.
Life eventually settles into a new normal. Shawn goes on a new book tour, but not before coming to stay with Jack and Eric for a week and finally telling them that, in his words, "my straightness is a little bent".
"How bent?" Eric asks suspiciously.
"Like those circular straws."
When pressed, he confesses that he's known this for a while, but had denied it. Now his publishers, who are getting mileage from his 'hot young author' persona, are asking him to keep this under wraps, which isn't hard, according to Shawn, because he hasn't had a date since the last century. Cory throws himself into his job more, and pretends that everything is fine whenever he speaks to Eric.
Basically, everything's the same for Jack and Eric. Eric works at the hardware store with his dad, which isn't exactly what he wants to do with the rest of his life, but is a living for now. Jack's working in a governmental office, thanks to the Peace Corps. The two make a comfortable living, enough, as Eric puts it, 'to keep us in absolutely unnecessary things'.
After Shawn finishes up his next book tour, he comes and stays with Jack and Eric again. He seemingly just wants to relax, but two days into his vacation, he corners Jack and tells him that he wants to tell him something.
"You found someone," Jack suggests.
Shawn winces and shakes his head. "I wish."
"Okay, I'm afraid to guess. Go ahead, tell me."
"Well, you know how I never seem to find someone right for me? I realize why now."
Eric wanders by and Shawn motions for him to join the conversation. "What's up?" Eric asks.
Shawn looks down and sighs. "I'm in love with Cory."
"My brother Cory?" Eric questions incredulously. "Formerly known as Brillo Head?"
"That would be him," Shawn replies, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I know that falling in love with straight, mourning guys isn't probably the best strategy-"
"This isn't recent," Jack interrupts softly.
"Say what?" Eric asks.
Shawn nods, shocked. "How'd you-"
"You just confirmed something I've thought for a long while." Jack says gently. "How long exactly?"
"Since college, at least."
Jack smiles, satisfied. "Nice to know that I've still got it."
"Oh, you still got it, baby." Eric says suggestively.
Shawn holds up a hand. "Talking now, flirting later. Any advice from the lovebirds?"
"Nope. Are we done here? Because I think Jack needs to show me what he's got." Eric addresses this to Shawn, although he never takes his eyes off of Jack.
Shawn throws up his hands and leaves. Somehow, Eric and Jack never notice.
A few months later, Shawn calls them and tells them that he's seeing a man named Jeremy. When Jack asks about his crush, for lack of a better word, Shawn says that he's trying to move past that and move on to someone who might actually love him back.
"This so isn't gonna work," Eric tells Jack privately.
"What makes you think so? That whole fake-rebound thing, or the fact that this Jeremy is an asshole?"
"Excuse me?"
"I know of him, in a vague way. He's a struggling actor. And I've never heard good things about him."
Eric nods. Jack's usually right about people, so arguing with him is less satisfactory than watching him be right.
Time fast forwards again. Jack gets a promotion at work, and Eric and his dad expand the store. Cory comes out for a visit, and admits that he isn't ready for another relationship, and when Eric hints that there might be someone out there for him already, it goes flying over his head. "I tried," he tells Jack when they come home from dinner.
"What did you expect? For Cory to say, 'I get it all of the sudden! Shawn's the one for me'? I'm not sure that he even knows Shawn is gay."
"I know that's too much to ask, but still-" Eric sighs. "I think they would be good for each other."
One week after that, Jack receives a phone call from Shawn. "Um, have you been watching the news? Particularly the entertainment news?"
"Not really. Why?"
"You were right about Jeremy." Shawn gives a bitter laugh and continues, "He's talking to the press about our relationship. Seems that he's getting good publicity from his relationship with a closeted author."
"Shawn, I'm so sorry-" Jack starts.
"Don't be, it's not necessary. It's just that, I feel stupid, not seeing this come a mile away. At first, he was happy to keep this quiet. And when we broke it off, it was mutual."
"Not your fault," Jack says after a moment. "Sometimes things just don't work out."
"Okay, I can accept that," Shawn replies. "But answer me this- do you think I'll ever find what you and Eric have?"
"Do you want what Eric and I have?" Jack asks jokingly. Then he sobers up and says, "If it's meant to be, it'll happen."
"I guess," Shawn says, not convinced.
"Have you talked to Cory about this yet?"
"I'm over his house now. They've got mine staked out. I didn't realize I was that popular." Shawn laughs ruefully and continues, "We talked for a long time this afternoon. He didn't know."
"I knew that," Jack says a little impatiently.
"Yeah, yeah," Shawn says.
"How did he react?"
There's a pause, and then he says, emphatically, "He said that nothing will change between us. That's exactly what I feared."
"Did you want him to throw you out of his house?"
"I kinda hoped that he would, you know, realize."
"You do remember that this is Cory we're talking about. He needs to be hit by the proverbial baseball bat."
"Meaning?"
"Spell it out for him so that can be no mistake about what's going on. Once he catches on, he's lightning quick, so you'll have your results fast."
"How'd you get to be so knowledgeable about Cory?" Shawn questions.
"Eric," Jack says simply.
After that, they hang up. Jack goes and finds Eric still up, working on paperwork.
"Have a nice chat?" Eric asks, not looking up.
"He wants what we have," Jack says in way of reply.
Eric looks Jack straight in the face, startled. "Really?"
"His exact words were, 'do you think I'll ever find what you and Eric have'."
"Deep," Eric comments, but he's smiling. "So, you think he'll be okay?"
"Yeah, if only because he can achieve some closure."
"Ooh, big words. You coulda been a psychologist."
"Yeah right," Jack laughs. "Like I could ever listen to anyone else's problems."
Two days later, there's a phone call from Cory, full of babbling and confusion, until Cory lets it slip that he just doesn't feel ready for a relationship yet, be it with his best friend or anyone else. Eric tries to reassure him and tells him to talk to Shawn. Eric isn't sure how effective his advice is, but Cory seems to breathe a little easier by the end of the conversation.
There's distinctive silence on Cory and Shawn's end for about three months. Finally Jack and Eric can't take any more and call Cory, the safe bet.
"Been kinda busy lately," Cory apologizes.
"Oh really?" Eric asks slyly.
"Yes, really. When are you guys coming to visit?"
"You want us to come up there?"
"It's called hospitality."
Jack takes the phone and laughs into the receiver. "You must have said something good to shut Eric up."
"Hey!" Eric whaps Jack on the arm as Cory elicits a promise from Jack to come and visit in two weeks.
Once Cory's off the phone, Jack turns to Eric anxiously. "Can this mean what I think it does?"
"Hope against hope against hope." At Jack's perplexed expression, Eric explains, "It's what I always used to say whenever I wanted something really really bad."
They arrive in due time, go to Cory's brownstone and get settled in. As soon as they do, Cory drags them out the door. "We've got places to go, blah blah."
"You seem excited," Jack comments mildly.
They end up at Shawn's house, where Shawn's waiting nervously. "Hey. Um, we have something we want to tell you."
"We're dating!" Cory blurts out.
Shawn looks at his boyfriend in astonishment. "What happened to the big speech you had planned?"
"Eh. I'll save that for my parents. They'll need it more."
In the midst of all the celebrating, Eric ends up stepping onto Shawn's patio, overlooking his backyard. Cory steps out a minute later.
"So," Eric says conversationally, throwing his arm around Cory, "You and Shawn, eh?"
Cory nods and blushes slightly. But his eyes are clear, and shining with happiness. Then he says, wonderingly, "It's real."
"Never doubted that." They look inside the window, watching Shawn and Jack interact, and Eric speaks up suddenly. "Must be something about those Hunter men."
Cory smiles broadly. "If they know what's good for them, they'll say the same thing about us."
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Next chapter is up and running, and due soon, okay? Don't hurt me!