Doorstep
By Jane Moss
The only sound in the car was the soft hum of the engine and the softened sounds of the activities outside. The windows were rolled up against the cold night air and Grissom tried fruitlessly to focus his eyes on the road. He could feel his body screaming for rest, as he fought to keep his eyes open. This time, when he glanced at Sara, he found she had leaned to the side with her head resting on the window. At the next traffic light, he leaned over and pulled a few strands of hair back as carefully as he could. Her eyes were closed and he now realised her breathing was calm and steady, as she drifted further into sleep.
He would take her home. They had worked for a double shift already. They were not robots after all. He silently kicked himself as he realised that he once again let her work to the point of exhaustion. Lady Heather could wait. And the case would have to wait.
He pulled up at her apartment building and turned off the engine, sitting still for a moment. It was very tempting to close his eyes just for a moment, but he knew that sleep would overtake. Getting out, he tried to shut the door as quietly as he could as not to wake her. The click sounded loud to his ears, but Sara hadn't moved. He had to support her from the side as soon as he opened her door, as she was leaning heavily on it. Even in this sleep-deprived state, he could think of nothing else but how good it was to touch her. Slowly and gingerly, he slid one arm beneath her knees and the other under her upper back. She felt surprisingly heavy in his arms, though he knew it had something to do with the exhaustion. For the second time that week he found himself carrying her to the bedroom. As he thought of it, he found the idea suggestive and decided to leave it at that.
As gently as he could, in his state, Grissom placed her in the middle of the bed and let himself fall next to her, as his legs gave out. Only for a minute. Then he would leave. The bed was soft. He had to leave soon. And it was firm enough to support his body, which at that moment felt like it weighed a tonne. The thoughts were slowing down, as he slid off his jacket to prevent the hard items in the pockets from jabbing at his ribs. Just a little longer. One arm slid around the warm body next to him and it all went dark.
* * *
He could not remember when it last felt this good. May be it never did? Grissom could not pinpoint the exact instigator of such a pleasant feeling. Whatever it was, he had to keep it. Half asleep, his arms drew her closer and he let out a sigh, as more of her scent enveloped him.
Sara's eyes snapped open and she instinctively froze. It was warm. She was on her back with her arms around… Oh God – it was Grissom! He was on his side, leaning into her suggestively, with his head on her shoulder and his even breaths brushing the sensitive skin of her neck. His arm was hugging her around the waist. They were so close. They were practically lying on top of each other! She gasped slightly as he pulled her even closer and she could feel her breast press firmly into his chest. He mumbled something incoherent. He must have still been asleep. That didn't deter her thoughts from wandering.
Enjoy it while it lasts, before he wakes up and says he's sorry it ever happened. For a moment she had a crazy wish to wake up like this every day. Surely that was crazy, since he wasn't interested? The moment turned into a few minutes as she savoured the feel of his body against hers. So relaxed. She dreaded the idea that she would have to let go.
He shifted. His head moved and then came back to its original place. His arm rubbed against her stomach a few times and she held her breath to keep from whimpering. His eyes opened and his movements stilled abruptly. Their eyes locked. They were only a breath apart. Both were afraid to breathe. She wanted to run a hand across his cheek. Then his shoulder. Then down his back. She remembered Lady Heather. Her stomach turned. She remained motionless, but it must have flickered in her eyes, because he drew away and began to get up. It was so hard to let go and their joined heat dissipated in the cool air, as soon as they broke contact.
He sat at the edge of her bed for a long time before he turned around and watched her. Her blouse was somewhat creased. Her eyes held a questioning underlying. He could not lie to himself. It did feel good. He did want to stay. What happened with resolving it?
He let himself smile slightly; at first a bit dryly, but then his smile grew as she returned it. The tension seeped out of the room.
"Get ready for work. I'm cooking you breakfast," he found himself saying. It was only fair to reward her for being Sara. He was staying. She couldn't wipe away the 100-watt grin even if she tired.
Breakfast was far easier and more comfortable than the previous one had been. He was surprised how he had ever managed to keep himself away from her for so long and not so surprised at how enjoyable her company was. He couldn't count the number of cases he had avoided working with her and now they were just on the second and already further along than they had started.
Sara once again grew quiet as they made their way to their original destination. It was bad enough he let himself get involved with a suspect, but why would he drag her into this now? Sara knew, inwardly, that she was already involved whether she chose to be or not. The dull ache returned at the prospect that it was actually true, and that was proof enough in itself. She wished it would just stop hurting, but as they neared Heather's domain, it became apparent that the pain could only intensify. How many times had she warned herself not to give into fantasy relationships and get possessive over something that wasn't hers? But as she woke up encircled in his warm embrace, it felt as though he was hers alone. Didn't it?
* * * * *
We're getting to the LH scene, don't worry! I just thought you might enjoy a little… interlude! I'll try to hurry with the next chapter! Thanks again for the reviews! I'll try my best to finish this story soon! – JM:)