Jo & Lise xx
Part Seven
The dull whirring of the plane was rhythmic and soothing, he felt relaxed... at ease.
The large man next to him was asleep, snoring loudly and occasionally reaching out in his disturbed dreams.
He wondered what she'd be doing...had she read his letter? Had she found it? Maybe she was at work or maybe she was asleep...maybe she hadn't found it. What if she thought he'd just left? It was all too many unknowns, too many possibilities whirring around his mind...
He began to feel less and less relaxed, and he realised all he wanted to do was talk to her, just hear her voice, to let him know she felt the same, although he already knew she did.
Only 3 hours, 38 minutes and 14 seconds...
***
Abby glanced down at her watch quickly before returning her attention to the chart in front of her.
"Abby, it's only two seconds later than the last time you looked," Susan said, smiling at her.
"Yeah," she sighed, staring wistfully ahead.
"My goodness, you got it bad!"
"Huh?"
"The love bug." She took the chart out of Abby's hands. "Come on Little Miss Love, come and help me with..." She paused to glance at the chart. "With Mr. Wright's arm lac." Abby followed her dutifully, glancing at her watch once again as they went. "Oh come on Abby, quit looking at your watch! It's making me jealous that I don't have anyone to look at my watch for."
"Sorry," Abby mumbled, following Susan through the swing doors. "But his plane should be landing around now, he said he'd ring me."
"Ah, I see." They approached the gurney in the corner of the room. "Okay Mr. Wright, let's take a look at this cut." Abby stood silently watching as her friend examined the arm. She resisted the temptation to look at her watch once again, knowing Susan would never let her off. "Right, Abby can you get me a..."
"Abby, you got a phone call! Line Two," Chuny interrupted, looking into the room. Her eyes lit up, and she turned quickly towards the door.
"Yeah sure, that's fine. You can go, don't mind me," Susan called after her sarcastically, earning herself a half-hearted glare.
When Abby was safely shut in the lounge, alone, she picked up the phone receiver. This was it, this was him. She grinned to herself as her finger made its way to the button that would put him on. She pressed it firmly, and waited to hear his voice.
"Hello?" She sighed happily. It was him, his voice on the other end of the line. He was okay, he was really okay.
"Hey."
***
"Hey...you got there ok then?"
"Yeah..." Had she found it? Should he come right out and ask...?
"So..." she prompted.
"Did you get my note?"
"Might have..."
"Abby! I've got like 1 minute left..."
"Maybe I did... is this the time I should tell you I love you too?" she teased.
"Maybe..."
He sighed, wishing he could be there, having her tease him to his face... being able to touch her, hold her...
"Carrteeeeer? You still there?"
"I've got to go... I do love you Abby..."
"I love you too..."
***
"You got there okay then?" she asked, not sure where else to start.
"Yeah..." he sounded hesitant, like there was something on his mind.
"So..." she began, trying to find out what he wanted to say. Maybe it was about the letter?
"Did you get my note?" Yeah, the letter. She smiled to herself, thinking back to the words that had been scrawled across that bit of paper in his messy doctor's handwriting.
"Might have..."
"Abby! I've got like 1 minute left..." She sensed the frustration in his voice, but wasn't quite sure how to express herself seriously.
"Maybe I did... is this the time I should tell you I love you too?" Teasing was how she coped with things, when she wasn't quite comfortable. She was happy to be talking to him, but she wasn't sure how to tell him how she felt. She'd never felt like this about anyone before, never needed to say something quite this important.
"Maybe..." There was a long pause, and she began to worry that he'd gone.
"Carrteeeeer? You still there?" She continued the teasing: it covered up her concern that he'd been cut off before they got to finish the conversation.
"I've got to go... I do love you Abby..." Her breath caught in her throat as she heard the words. It was one thing seeing them written on paper, but hearing him say them was something else. She could hear the love in his voice as he said it, and it meant so much to her. The time for teasing and jokes was over. She didn't need to hide behind them anymore, she knew exactly what she had to say.
"I love you too..."
The phone crackled, and the line cut out. Had she told him in time?
***
He lay watching her sleep, every breath she took was graceful and perfect...her hair fanned out behind her. Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled at him, leaning towards him...
"Abby" He mumbled, awaking himself by trying to reach out for her on the small bumpy plane.
He shut his eyes, trying to get back to the dream that felt so real...trying in vain to close his eyes again, but the plane constantly shuddered underneath him, making him wonder how he drifted to sleep in the first place.
"Who's Abby?" he jumped, forgetting completely that he was travelling with Gillian now.
"Abby's my..."
He stopped, aware that Gillian had just lost Luka, possibly the only man to ever have a real hold over her, instead of the other way round. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks blotchy from the tears which had fallen there...
"Friend."
***
"You okay Abby?" Susan asked, as she entered the doctor's lounge and saw her friend lying on the couch.
"Yeah, just tired." She swung her legs over the side of the couch and sat up. Susan raised an eyebrow.
"Anything you want to tell me?"
"What?" Abby stared at her. "Oh...no! Definitely not." She shook her head, laughing to herself slightly. "I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep last night. I just lay there the whole night, thinking about him travelling across the Congo, through all that danger. And then when I did get to sleep I dreamt about him being shot. So I gave up trying to sleep." She sighed.
"You miss him?" She really did look awful, Susan noted. The question didn't really need to be asked.
"Miss him doesn't quite cover it," she sighed. "I miss him so much. And I'm scared that he's not going to come back to me. I have all these images in my head of what's happening to him. I haven't heard from him since he rang me at the airport yesterday."
"You weren't expecting to hear from him yet, though," Susan comforted, sitting down next to her friend.
"Doesn't make me feel any better." Abby put her hand across her mouth as she yawned. "I've been such a fool, Susan."
"No you haven't!"
"I have. I rejected him. I said I wouldn't marry him unless he didn't go, or came back safe. But now, if he dies, he'll never know how I feel."
"Oh, he knows Abby! He wouldn't have asked you to marry him otherwise."
"I guess." She paused once again. "I tried to tell him on the phone. I said I loved him, but...it cut out, and I don't know if he heard." She could feel a tear trickle down her cheek. "And it scares me that I didn't get to say it to him, possibly."
"I told you Abby, he knows." She pulled her friend into a hug. "Anyway, Carter's not going to die. You see, he loves you too much to just leave you like that."
"Well he won't have much choice."
"This is Carter we're talking about," Susan laughed. "Seriously, that man could and would do anything for you!"
***
They'd been there three days now, and had exhausted nearly all their options. The last chance lay with a member of the negotiating team of the red cross, although any possibility of Luka being alive was now doubtful after Carter and Gillian had received his ID covered in blood, from the Red Cross Headquarters- they had both dared to believe he could be alive, but now it was a mission of merely recovering his body.
It was midday, the red hot sun beating down, sweat trickling down both their faces. Carter had no idea exactly who this member of the negotiating team was, but Gillian seemed to know whoever it was they were looking for, and pointed to a silhouetted figure in the distance.
"Debbie?!" Gillian called excitedly.
"Gillian..." She turned towards them, despite this Carter was blinded by the light and couldn't focus on "Debbie" properly.
As she climbed down from the Red Cross truck, he gained a proper look at her. She was possibly the most beautiful woman he had seen, he almost forgot to breathe for a second...
"Debbie, this is John Carter; he was a friend of Luka Kovac."
"I'm very sorry Mr. Carter." she replied, studying his face intently.
"Its Dr. Carter." It was unnerving the way that she watched him, without conveying any trace of emotion or what she was thinking.
"So what do you need me for?"
"We're trying to recover Luka's body - so that I can take it back to the US. We were informed that money could hopefully uncover his body faster..." He trailed off at the end of the sentence, remembering how Abby had once told him he should use the money in a way he felt passionate.
"Huh. Well Dr. Carter, money isn't everything. If either side gets hold of the fact we are using money to influence, we would lose any neutral standing we have...as well as being killed. And we're talking dead with heads mounted on a pointed sticks."
She walked off, tossing her blonde hair back into the sun-bleached hat. He and Gillian turned to leave, walking down the dusty track.
"I told you she was your type..."
"What? When?! She's not my type at all." He stuttered in protest.
"Hey Ritchie Rich! If you want some information on Dr. Kovac, I need a Doctor to accompany me to Kivu and transport some of the wounded?"
He looked at Gillian, who nodded in reply.
"Sure."
"Definitely not my type." He muttered to Gillian, unsure of who he was trying to kid, himself or her.
***
Abby crossed another day off on her calendar, sighing. She'd never done this before: there had never been anything to count down to. Birthdays and Christmas were just another day; she'd never expected presents or a nice meal. Not that she was actually counting down: she couldn't count down, because she didn't know when he'd be back. She didn't even know when she would hear from him again. It was three days since she'd last heard from him, and although she kept assuring herself that he was away from phones it didn't really help.
There were so many things to worry about. What if he got hurt by the Mai Mai? What if he was caught in crossfire? What if he got through all that fine, but then crashed in the plane on the way home? What if he met another woman?
She knew her last two thoughts were fairly irrational, but that didn't matter. She knew if they were going to get married she would have to trust him explicitly, but she didn't seem to be able to do that right now. Why, she didn't know. He'd always been faithful to her, and yet she had this nagging feeling that something might happen.
She threw the pen down on the worktop, angry at herself for thinking like that. She seemed to be doing it far too much recently, and she hated herself for it. There was only one person who seemed to be able to make her see sense: Susan. As she reached for the phone, it began to ring. Maybe Susan could read her mind now, she thought, laughing to herself.
"Hello, Abby Lockhart," she said, answering the phone.
"Abby, it's me!"
"Mom?" She sighed, wishing she'd got to the phone a second sooner so that she could be talking to Susan right now. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes, it's fine."
"Why did you ring then?" She couldn't help feeling irritated: not only could she not talk to Susan, but every second that she was on the phone to someone else Carter couldn't call her.
"I just wanted to chat. Isn't that allowed?" Abby sighed once again. Sure it was allowed, and they'd been getting on a lot better recently. But she didn't remember ever talking to her Mom on the phone before, unless there was an emergency. Never without a reason. "So how are things with you and John?" Ah, the interrogation. Perhaps her mother had some sixth sense that told her there was news. But Abby wasn't going to let her in on it just yet, especially when it wasn't exactly official.
"We're okay," she provided, before deciding Maggie probably wanted more details. "He's gone to Africa?"
"Why? Is he trying to run away from you?" Wow, great way to make me feel better Maggie, Abby thought, sighing angrily.
"Please do not get me started on that Maggie, you don't want to know and I don't want to tell..."
***
When they finally arrived upon the place they were seeking, they found a sight for sore eyes. The clinic had been burnt down, evidence strewn everywhere possible of the bloodshed and loss of life.
The Mai-Mai boys sat, undisturbed by the fact of what surrounded them.
Carter took in what he could, before looking away, repulsed. He was shocked when he heard Debbie yelling at the boys...
"You burned a clinic to the ground. What the hell do you think the big Red Cross is for? If you keep burning down hospitals where are you going to go when you get shot or your mother gets sick?!" She fumed, venting her anger, knowing full well the boys did not speak English and therefore wouldn't respond.
Gillian noticed keenly the look of admiration in John's eyes...
***
He sat on the crumbling wall over looking the destroyed site, dirty, torn, shaken and wanting escape somehow.
He fumbled his i-pod out of his pocket, closed his eyes and let the music drift over him...soothing him...he wasn't aware that anyone had walked up towards him, until he felt a hand placed upon his shoulder.
His heart jumped for a second, thinking it would be one of the Mai-Mai until he realised it was only Debbie. Only Debbie. Those two words seemed to treble his heart speed more than if he was under attack.
"Trying to escape?"
"It's pretty hard in this place..."
"What you listening to?"
"Les Nubians."
"No Dixie Chicks on that thing?"
"Dixie Chicks?" he repeated teasingly in disbelief.
"You don't like the Dixie Chicks?!" She looked teasingly back with those deep blue eyes...
"Country and Western. I don't know..."
"Don't know what you're missing"
"Maybe..." he replied, not convinced.
"So what are you doing out here? You don't seem the type," she asked becoming serious.
"There's a type?"
"Two. Macho adrenaline junkies and save the world peaceniks."
"So what does that make you?"
"Guess..."
"I think I value my life more than that..." He grinned at her, then became serious.
"You know, I consider myself as reasonably well informed. I read the New York Times, watch Nightline, listen to NPR. But before I came here I hadn't heard a thing about the Congo."
"Nobody gives a damn about what happens out here. There are no real American interests in West Africa. Half the continent is dying of AIDS and the pharmaceutical companies won't produce cheaper versions of their HIV drugs to save millions of lives. Just a bunch of savages that get what they deserve. We'll drop into any Third World s**thole to protect a pipeline for Texas oil interests, but three million people are slaughtered and we're too busy watching Survivor."
He thought about this for a moment, and glanced at her, once more in admiration. There was no other word for it, he respected her for doing what she did, for being outspoken, for being feisty...he felt the urge to justify himself to her, and open up.
"I'm not sure what I'm doing out here. I'm not sure what I'm doing period. Seemed simple six months ago. I've been seeing this woman, a wonderful woman who I know I shouldn't be with- it's not good for her or me."
"What makes you say its not good for you or her?" she enquired, leaning close towards him. He could almost count the freckles on her nose, the beads of sweat upon her forehead.
"Meeting you..." he replied. He was deeply aware it was wrong, his head and heart screamed no...he felt the guilt surge through him as their lips combined, yet he couldn't tear himself away from that moment.
***
Please review! Please don't kill us! And please don't stop reading...you know you want to trust us to sort this all out plausibly. :-p ;) And please, we don't want any flames about Carter never cheating on Abby and all that. Please just trust us that this WILL be okay. ;)