Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the squick moments in this story, but this really will highlight some mushy Eriol and Kaho scenes. I'm also sorry for some horrible angst to come, but this is not a happily ever after for this couple fic. It's part of the same timeline as Solace, and that means we're in for some angst. I'm not going to be able to keep everyone happy, but I will be able to stay true to my artistic vision. I hope you stick with it, even if there are things you're not happy with. The parts that squick some make others cheer, and vice versa here. Sorry. (So, yes, in the broader sense L-chan was right in a previous review about knowing how this will end, but I've still got some twists and surprises up my sleeve!)

That said, I have to admit I'm impressed with the quality of the reviews I've received and the maturity everyone has shown on both sides of the equation. Yay! I've got the best reviewers in the world! ~giggles~ I appreciate each and every one of you, no matter what side of the fence you are with this 'ship. So, for Rakko-chan, Kira, Peacewish, Kawaii-cherrychan, Jettera, Lady Kazune Kikenshi, Shadow, and L-chan I'd like to say thank you, and I'm sorry I can't please all the people all the time, but at least there are no flames. I appreciate that more than I can say. You guys rock!

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Moon's Dance and Shadow

A Kaho and Eriol story

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Chapter Five

Dark Side of the Moon

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Some days were better than others. Eriol regained his strength quickly at first. Then a few weeks, or sometimes a few days would pass, and he would pause, wavering, and smile nostalgically. He would mention a card's name and sometimes laugh, or sometimes frown.

Some cards were worse on him than others. When the Time card was captured he passed out and was in bed for an entire day. I felt something strange in the air that day, a sense of déjà vu. He had to explain that the card had been recycling the day in Tomoeda and it was powerful enough that anyone with magic would feel ripples from it, though not necessarily know why. I was glad I wasn't at home, experiencing the same day over and over. Maybe if things were better, happier, but not like this. I spent too much time worried.

Then, every time the Time card was used after, he knew it. He felt weakened, drained, even though the card was no longer pulling against only his own magic. And each card that was captured was an additional drain on him, even though they could feed off their user also. Well, it was more complex than that, but the essence was that each card fed off of him, pulling more when they were active or just awake, then they fed a little off of whoever possessed the card, especially when they were activated, until the Final Judgment.

He would only get weaker and weaker until then, and after that all ties to the cards would be totally severed. They wouldn't be able to take his energy. Or any energy at all.

I frowned at his explanation as he lay in bed, imagining what it would be like for him when this judgment would take place. The way he described it, there would be a lot of magic being flung around, and that magic would come from the cards, or from Yue who also drew upon Eriol's magic without knowing it. Well, not exactly.

"So, this Yue is also draining you. And the cards. And Ruby Moon."

"Yes. It's rather difficult at times, but when the cards aren't being used or exerting their influence on their own the drain is a mere trickle. I'm more worried about when the cards are no longer pulling against my power."

"Why is that?"

The frown on his face was heartbreaking. "Because they could die."

What a funny way of looking at it. Cards, dying. It was strange, and I would have found it humorous if he hadn't obviously been serious and heartbroken at the thought. "I'm sure it will be okay. Your prior incarnation spent a lot of effort in making sure that things would work out, so I'm sure they will."

"There are too many things that weren't foreseen. It's all up to Sakura at that point, no matter how hard I try to make her do what needs to be done. Genuine intent and need must be met. She's so gentle that she might not have what it takes to control the cards as well as create them in her own image and--"

"Eriol, there's nothing that can be done about it right now. Right now you need to rest. Don't waste your energy on worrying."

He nodded, slumping into his pillows.

And that is how nearly half a year passed.

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She was staring off into the distance, looking uncharacteristically lost. Summer was dying, fading away too rapidly and autumn was claiming the leaves with its golden grip. She stared over the pond I had skated upon just this past winter with such abandon, watching the restless movement of the ducks before they decided to move on. I knew that back home everything would still be green despite the cooling air, but here the trees were starting to wear their dormant colors.

"Nakuru," I called softly. Ruby Moon had chosen that name for her false form, and it had fit her in her more enthusiastic days.

"Kaho-sensei," she said with a nod, inviting me to join her. "Welcome to my autumn."

I thought--no, I hoped--that she was trying to be cute. "You can't own an autumn."

She gave me a funny look, acknowledging the humor of what I said, but clearly not appreciating it. "That's not what I meant, and I think you know it. I'm so tired all the time. I want to curl up and sleep, except when I'm so hungry that I want to do both. I wasn't made to get hungry, but I am. I love to eat, but hunger? It doesn't make sense, and it doesn't help. So, I mean, this is my autumn. And when the Final Judgment of the cards comes, it will be my winter."

"Eriol would never let that happen," I assured her. "I know you're both tired, but he has the strength to sustain you through this. It gets uncomfortable, but that will pass."

"You sound so sure. Tell me, teacher, if he miscalculated at any point, what is to stop him from simply letting me fade away, drift into nothingness, and then create another me? Or one he likes better since he was so young and inexperienced when he made me. Maybe, now that he has all of Clow's memories and not just flashes like he did before he made us, maybe now he'll want me to be more like his lost Yue. Maybe he'll want a lover instead of a best friend. And letting me slip into nothingness now will give him the excuse he needs to have what he really wants."

I felt faintly sick. Clow and Yue? Lovers? Why did that thought bother me so much? Sure, there was a touch of jealousy there, but I knew that it was irrational. It was not homophobia...that was a concept that had never been an issue.

Finally it hit me. Clow had taken advantage of his creation. Had used Yue to satisfy his base lust. It sickened me to think of him like that, but there it was. And Eriol had been the bigger person and created a humanoid mood guardian that would not be used like that.

But, I couldn't be seeing the whole picture. There had to be more to the story. I was confused, but I did not see anything about Clow or Eriol doing something so horrific. I needed time. I needed distance. I needed to think about this somewhere that I was not facing this every day.

I was so lost in this train of thoughts that I missed Nakuru transforming into her true form of Ruby Moon. I only realized it when I heard her speak again. "I don't want to die. I want to live and fall in love. I want someone for me like Touya was for you, and I wouldn't give him up for any master who would let me fade away and replace me."

What was going on? Ruby Moon was suddenly standing closer, looking me in the eye, looking somehow hungry. She began hovering, putting herself above me, and her eyes gleamed with power. I was a rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, unable to do more than stare, unblinking, as she drew closer. A thrill of fear shot through me, but it was a little fear that somehow made me alive at the same time. Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer and closer.

I was falling. I was out of control. I was scared, but I was somehow thrilled in a way I never had been before. I wondered if this was why people went to see scary movies. A little fear that you somehow knew wasn't anything to be afraid of. I knew I'd be safe. I was scared, but I was safe. It would be okay.

I felt the magic stirring around us, pulling at me and charging the air. "You're so delicious, your energy is delectable. I'm so hungry, and you're so tasty, I just want a bit, just a taste, some energy to sustain me through this..."

This wasn't the happy girl I had known before, this was a being that knew no natural gender, and this being was pressing lips against my own, tasting me physically as well as tasting my magical energy. That is when I felt the pulling of my essence from me, drawing away my awareness and draining my vitality. I wanted to fight, but just couldn't dream of it. The thrill had left, replaced by a panic deep within. How would this be all right? How was this safe? I was being robbed and violated while part of me actually enjoyed it. I couldn't even cry as my eyelids drooped downward.

"Stop!"

I was a discarded rag doll, barely aware of what was happening around me. I still had my magic, though it had been drained nearly totally. I would recover. I gasped for breath, trying to stand but barely able to sit. Finally I gave up, laying on the ground and trying to make sense of the words being said around me.

It was no use. I had a headache building behind my eyes and at the base of my skull that drove sense from me. I was nauseous. I could only comprehend that Eriol was yelling at Ruby Moon, and then there was silence. No sound of retreating footfalls or anything, just silence. I rolled over to look at them and there they stood, larger than life, towering over my prone form with concern written on their faces. Suddenly the form of Ruby Moon was replaced with Nakuru and tears were in those little girl eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't stop myself. It won't happen again."

No, of course it wouldn't. She had stolen enough of my magic to make it through any hard times with energy to spare. I looked into her eyes and found no hint of understanding there for what she had done, only a sorrow that things had gone wrong and I had almost gotten hurt. She didn't look so sweet in her innocence anymore, like a kitten who was playing with a mouse and didn't realize it could kill the defenseless toy. I shuddered, trying to pull away. I still didn't have the energy quite, but enough of the horror I felt reflected on my face that Eriol understood.

"You should go," he said gently to his creation. He didn't wait, but scooped me up in his arms and held me. He was apologizing over and over, blaming himself for not teaching Ruby Moon the ethics to prevent such a horrible thing. I didn't want to hear that. Eriol was the one who had just saved me, had been my knight in shining armor when I needed it most.

I stopped his apologies by crossing his lips with a finger. "It doesn't matter, I just want to go home." And then, as thanks for saving me and to remove any sting from my request, I leaned in and kissed him. My own action caught me by surprise, but it felt like the right thing to do.

"Please, when you get there, help Sakura. Help them all." He smiled, even as he murmured the words that released me from this place.

I held him in my arms, holding him close as if I didn't want to let go, but the time came. I let go, standing with my returning strength, and I didn't look back. Less than twenty four hours later I was on the plane returning home to Tomoeda.