Coming Through the Rye
By Shannon the Twisted Link Worshiper
~ Part IV ~
Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?
As Heero made his way down to the dining hall for breakfast the next morning, he heard quite a loud ruckus coming from the direction of his destination. Even at the far end of the hall, he could hear the vibrant shouts of students and the sound of wild clapping and cheering. The sight that he beheld when he walked into the dining hall was the last he would ever expect to see at a boarding school at eight in the morning on a Sunday.
Standing on one the tables in the center of the room was D.B., a fork in hand, singing into it as if it were a microphone. He looked quite ridiculous, still in his pajamas, which consisted of baseball covered flannel pants and a large black tee shirt with a cartoon tiger printed on its back. Hoshi stood beside him, making just as much of a show as D.B was, a hastily wired turntable playing a crackly relic of a record at her feet, an old song that was practically ancient filling the room as they both took turns singing the verses. Sora was there, constantly fiddling with wires to keep them connected to all the extension cords that lay strewn all over the floor. Heero thought it was a miracle that they had not blown a fuse with so many cables.
"A thought grows in my head,
And I need to tell you.
It's news that I forethought.
Was it just a dream that happened long ago?
I think I just forgot!
"Well it hasn't been the first time,
And it sure does drive me mad!"
D.B. threw his arms around Hoshi and danced with her across the table, lifting her up by the waist as he spun around with her. As the record went on, D.B. let Hoshi back down onto her feet. They flung their arms around each other as they went on practically shouting the chorus of the song together, their faces as red as a drunkard's.
"There's a boy who fogs his world,
And now he's getting lazy.
There's no motivation and frustration makes him crazy.
He makes a plan to take a stand,
But always ends up sitting.
>Someone help him up or he's gonna end up quitting."
Sora had noticed Heero's entrance into the room quite a while ago. While Hoshi and D.B. were busy carrying on their impromptu concert, Sora had shoved her way through the crowd to where Heero was standing in the doorway, his jaw practically reaching the floor as he stared at the wild abandon unfolding before him. He had never seen two people motivate a crowd in such a way before, save Duo. He was in complete and utter shock.
"I shuffle through my mind,
To see if I can find,
The words I left behind.
Was it just a dream that happened long ago?
Oh well, never mind!
"Well it hasn't been the first time
And it sure does drive me mad!
And now he's getting lazy.
There's no motivation and frustration makes him crazy.
He makes a plan to take a stand,
But always ends up sitting.
Someone help him up or he's gonna end up quitting.
Oh Ye-eeahhhh!"
Heero soon realized that Hoshi was pointing straight at him. Sora was practically shoving him up beside them, and before Heero knew it, he was standing on the table, in the middle of the school dining hall amid a good portion of the student body, and old punk recording playing the background on a fossil old turntable as his companions proceeded to re-sing the chorus with the song.
"Hoshi!" He sounded quite perturbed as he crossed his arms and glowered at the pair standing before him. "What the hell are you two doing?"
"Making light of a depressing time," Hoshi shrugged.
"Depressing?" Heero wondered aloud as he tried to slink off the table and meld back into the crowd. Not that it was really possible anyway since said crowd had its focus pasted right upon the threesome standing upon the table. "We have peace, baka! There is nothing to be depressed about!"
"Not like that, Soldier Boy! One, it's Sunday, which means that we have class tomorrow; two, we're bored as hell, three, because we found this old record player in the library and four, because we can," Hoshi held up a finger for each reason as she started to count them aloud aloud. At the same time, D.B had grabbed Heero by the back of the shirt and hauled him back into the limelight. Hoshi was still talking as D.B. pushed him back before her, the whole ordeal being, quite simply, the most embarrassing experience of Heero's life. "Besides, my friend, you're not one to talk. Why, what's all this moping around the school all day?"
"I do not mope!" Heero all but roared.
He could feel the ire throbbing through his veins, his eyes clouded red with rage as Hoshi grabbed him around the waist, locking him in place and taking one wrist in her hand and holding it above their heads. "Ah, quick! Someone take Heero's pulse to make sure he's still alive!"
"I do not MOPE!" Heero snapped, wrenching himself away. He was staring death at D.B and Hoshi, his fists clenching and relaxing subconsciously at his sides. There was a world of things for Heero to be perturbed about, an immediate one being this unwanted attention, another being accused of being unhappy and sulking. Though, the more Heero thought about how angry such accusations made him, the more he started to notice where they were coming from.
"Excuse me, but what in heaven's name is going on here?" a deep adult voice cut through the waning sound of the record as it came to an end, leaving the room in a cold silence. Everyone turned to see a wizened man by the name of Professor Cawdor, the anatomy and biology teacher, standing in the doorway of the dining hall. Heero's mouth tightened into an even darker frown. Though Cawdor favoured him because he did well in his class, Heero could not help a nagging feeling stabbing in his gut that he had met Cawdor somewhere before, and that he was not a man to be trusted.
He slowly stepped into the room, the crowd of students parting like the Red Sea as he made his way to the table where Heero, Hoshi and D.B. stood, frozen. Cawdor was shaking his head disapprovingly as he approached the edge of the table, looking up at the young trio, though not failing to send a displeased glare at Sora, who was trying to quickly pack up the turntable as inconspicuously as possible. "Mister Yuy, I'm sorely disappointed. Such a shame to see my best and yet worst student carrying on in such a manner with this rabble."
Heero immediately switched on the defensive mode, throwing an arm in front of his other two friends as if he were blocking some enemy from getting through at them. "Professor, please, they were just having a bit of fun. It's a Sunday. Let them have just a little time to be immature." He shot a dark glare at the bunch behind him.
Everyone was staring wide eyed at Heero. Here was someone who had a murderous look in his eye nine times out of ten and had just defended the shenanigans of a trio of freehearted teens goofing off and making noise on a weekend. Certainly not what anyone, or even Heero for that matter, had ever expected.
"Mister Yuy, I really am surprised at you!" Cawdor leaned on the table crossly, making a motion with one hand that abruptly signaled for them all to get down. "What ever shall I write to your parents about?"
Heero winced. Since he had enrolled in the school on his own accord and had been planning to ditch and make his way elsewhere about the middle of the last term, he had lied about nearly everything on his application, leaving everyone to assume that he had a loving family, came from a decent background and had merely been drafted to fight for the colonies during the war. So it was not a total lie; the other Gundam boys had been a good enough family, though his upbringings were not exactly the kindest of things, and drafted would probably have been the nice way of putting how Heero had ended up Wing Zero's pilot. At least he felt he had good reason to justify it all.
"Hey Cawdor, it's not like we're doing anything wrong!" Hoshi suddenly piped up after a deafening silence weighted down the air between Heero and the professor. Her hands were on her hips as she sauntered up behind Heero and gave him a shove, nearly sending the Japanese boy plummeting to the floor on his face. However, Heero's unrest was too busy being directed at the crabby teacher before him to even pay her gesture any mind.
"Standing on the table and singing—" Cawdor tried to argue before Hoshi cut him off again with a nasty sneer. Heero slinked off the table in one quick motion.
"It's good music, not some stupid rap song that cusses every other word! How could anyone have a problem with old fashioned rock?" Hoshi fumed, stamping her foot as her fluent English poured from her mouth. "Don't know about you, but everyone I know thinks this stuff is excellent! Can't you have a little vintage fun?"
"Miss, you may be new and unfamiliar with our school policy, but that is no way to act!" Professor Cawdor got his rage up to a maximum as well, steam just about hissing from his ears. "I don't care who you're singing, but this is no way in which to conduct yourself in a dining hall! First thing in the morning, no less!" He was reaching up to tug Hoshi down to the floor and off to the headmaster's office when she sent a foot into his outstretched hand.
"Like fun I will, ya old geezer! Since when was having a good time on the weekends against the school's rules? Tough regiment you have running here," she snarled at him as she hopped off the table, sizing up Cawdor with a defiant glare in her eye. D.B. sat down cross-legged on the table to watch, Heero now leaning up against the table's edge with an almost sadistic look of amusement upon his face. Hoshi was still a teenager, and though she was a few good inches taller than Heero himself, she was still not quite the height of the professor. It was quite a sight to see the slender girl standing with her legs akimbo, hands on hips as she stared up into her adversary's eyes.
"That is no way to treat an elder!" Cawdor grabbed her dark red sweatshirt angrily.
"And that's no way to treat a lady, ya slime!" Hoshi wrenched herself away from him, making a big show of dusting herself clean of some imaginary blemish on her sleeve.
"Some lady you are, with such manners!" Cawdor exclaimed. Frowning and crossing his arms, he let out an exasperated sigh, tired of the futile argument. "Very well Hoshi. I will let you off with a very serious warning. Since you seem to come from an upbringing for which... certain allowances must be made, you will be without punishment this time. But if I catch you acting in such a way towards me or any other faculty member, don't think I will not send you packing straight for that L2 slum where you came from! You should thank everything holy that I am so kind."
"Kind he says," Sora muttered under he breath to D.B. D.B. just shrugged and settled back on his arms. The other students began to go about their own business, leaving the table where Heero and the others were, seeing that the time for fun and exuberance was at an end. As Cawdor walked with an almost triumphant air to his step from the room, leaving Hoshi quivering with rage, muttering obscenities about how she severely disliked the man, Sora reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder, saying, "Aw, Hoshi, don't let it get to you so bad. He's just a bitchy old nut. Don't pay him any mind."
"Well he's not that bad," D.B. said thoughtfully, cupping his chin in his hands.
"Oh please!" Sora rolled her eyes, hugging the still insanely vexed Hoshi to her shoulder, comforting her upset friend.
"I agree," Heero growled softly, "with Sora that is." He shrugged almost apologetically at D.B. Seeing the look on D.B.'s face (for the soft blonde haired boy obviously placed much more trust in Cawdor than Sora did), he quickly atoned for the comment, feeling a surge of confusion flutter in his chest as to why he would even bother about D.B.'s particular feelings. I kind of remember feeling that way around my… friends…. Heero mused to himself while he said aloud: "That is, it was not fair of him to make those comments about Hoshi and L2. He knew that it would make her upset and used it against her."
"Thanks, Soldier Boy," Hoshi said into Sora's shirt, almost inaudibly as she choked back her sobs, trying hard not to cry.
"Anytime," Heero smiled somewhat warmly at her. "Anytime."
Duo was sipping on a can of root beer, kneeling in that cramped attic space with his computer set up. Cords and various hookups snaked all over the old wooden floor, leading to spots in the wall that had been hacked away at to reveal the webs of wires that powered the dormitory building in which he had stashed himself away, which he had skillfully rooted to his own machine to power it up and offer it internet access.
"Quite the setup for quite a mission, doncha think, Pocky?" Duo said to the brown cat as he slurped at his root beer, setting the can down beside his laptop. He slid in the disk that held the recordings of that day's events into his computer and played the files, watching the faces of everyone who had crossed paths with his cover agent during the day, particularly a certain brown haired Japanese with amazing blue eyes.
Duo closed his eyes and lay down on his stomach, ankles crossed and toes tapping on the floor as he let the footage play. Some of it was all needlessly boring, girly chitchat and mildly interesting afternoon seminar about William Blake. His eyes shifted focus, dulling a bit as his mind began to wander to thoughts of Heero, particularly whenever he wandered across the computer screen. "Miss ya, Hee-chan," he let out a sigh. "Really, I do."
Suddenly, his finger slammed down on the keyboard, pausing the file on an old member of the school's faculty. "See that, Pocky, that's gotta be the guy," Duo muttered as the cat pawed over to curl up in a ball at his side. He absently gave the cat's fur a ruffle as he went about madly flipping through a disorganized dossier stuffed with loose paper reports and files. "Better get him outta here before something shitty happens."
The crowing of a raven outside on the roof brought Duo from his computer. Slithering over to the small window in the empty attic space, he pushed the window open, taking in a deep breath of the cool night air. The moonlight streamed from behind the thick grey clouds smearing the sky, dabbling Duo's face in its frozen white glow. "Nice night for a walk or something," he murmured. He turned around to see the cat sitting by the computer, waving its paw in the air after him, sending him the most heart-melting look a cat could possibly give a person. Duo stuck his tongue out at his adopted pet, saying, "Aw, Pocky, you crazy fuzz ball, you know I can't deal with spending my life up here. Maybe you can do it, but I really can't. I'll be back soon, I promise, okay? I'll even try to snag us some chow." The cat had added a piteous mewing to that adorable look. Duo gave a little cough and added with a small laugh, "Have I ever lied to you before, Pocky? I'll be back soon. Don't shred anything up!"
Hauling himself through the window, he jumped out onto the roof. The crowd of ravens scattered and took flight to the safe refuge of the trees down in the courtyard below. Duo slid down the slate shingled roof a bit, tumbling down to the very edge, where he ended up just sitting, bare feet shoved into the cold metal gutter that trimmed the roof. He stretched, throwing his hands up over his head and groaned. "Aaah, what am I doing here? I can't even pop up and tell him that I'm around."
He crawled back up to the roof's peak, making his way on his toes like a gifted acrobat. He crossed to the other side of the dormitories, where the boys' quarters were and slid down to a familiar window. He had come to sit outside this window a few nights before. This night, however, Duo was in no mood to just to patter around over his ceiling though all the darkened midnight hours. Leaning down precariously, braid plummeting towards the ground as he skillfully picked the window lock with a hairpin and slid into the roomy loft dormitory. Just falling in upon the empty bed, he sat with his legs crossed, hands resting upon his knees as he stared across the empty gap between the two beds, his eyes wandering over the slender form of the dearest person of all his affections. Quiet as Death, he slinked over to the edge of the bed, leaning on the mattress as he drunk in the closet look he had had of Heero Yuy in years.
He was stretched out on the small bed, sheets and blankets tangled around his muscled frame, head cradled in the crook of his arm as he slept on, totally unaware that he was being watched by the one person he would have given his life up to see. Mussed dark brown hair fell in its usual messy chunks, his pretty little mouth tightened in a cute pout. The wire of a set of earphones that fit into his pretty ears wound its way over his body to a thin portable compact disk player lying at his hip. Duo gently ran his fingers over Heero's closed eyes, wiping away the small tears caught on his delicate lashes. A small groan issued from Heero's mouth as he rearranged himself in his sleep, murmuring Duo's name into his pillow. He could even faintly hear the music playing softly in Heero's ears over his headset, the memory of the song almost ripping Duo's heart to shreds.
[A hundred days have made me older,
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder,
And I don't think I can look at this the same.]
"Heh, you only see her, Hoshi. You have no idea that I'm even here." He buried his nose into Heero's pillow, breathing in that warm heavy scent of his like he had not done in what seemed to be forever. "It would be so easy for me to just wake you up and hold you again but I…."
Heero seemed to almost know that something was amiss. He let out another stifled moan, which seemed to melt into something that sounded a lot like "Duo…."
Duo was so close, he could have almost placed a kiss upon Heero's lips, their breathes mingling over the soft pillow as he watched the Oriental boy dream just inches away from his face. With a saddened sigh, he let his fingers wander over Heero's warm cheek as he whispered on to the sleeper beside him, "I just can't right now, old pal." A disappointed and heart wrenched expression fell upon his face as he continued. "Heh, you always were so cute when you slept, weren't ya, Hee-chan? You still are just as cute… just as beautiful as you were when you were a kid. Hmm, I wonder if I've changed. I wonder if you'd still think the same about stupid old me." Another discontented sigh spilled over Duo's tongue as he reluctantly rolled himself off the bed, falling to h is knees beside it, eyes still fixed upon his sweet Japanese lover from unforgotten days since past. "Maybe it's better this way then, yeah? I should just stay as Death, watchin' over ya 'til it's all over, you know? That's the best company I could ever give you anyway."
Heero moaned in his dreams uncomfortably, rearranging himself in a position that left him on his back, one hand lazily draped over his bare stomach, the other lazily cushioned on the pillow beside his cheek. His eyes squinted a bit, dark blue irises darting around behind his eyelids, threatening to fly open as he shook his brown bangs in a fit of anxiety.
[And all the miles that separate,
Disappear now, when I'm dreaming of your face.
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby,
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, there's only you and me.]
His eyes fell upon the torn photograph in Heero's hand, and seeing that just slashed away at Duo's heartstrings, knowing that no matter how hard he tried to tell himself otherwise to keep his mind on his mission, there was no denying that Heero was there, right before him, and still a very important part of his life, past and present. And seeing that photograph, now a bit crinkled and worn with age and love, he knew that Heero had still not forgotten him.
Collapsing forward on the bedside, cradling his forehead in his arms, Duo found himself weeping into the crisp white sheets that smelled so much of Heero. "It's not fair," he whispered to his sleeping love, raising his tear stained face from the mattress at last. "It's not fair. My life is just not fair. Everything I ever wanted I found in you. All I ever wanted was you, you great big jerk! And I had it, I had it all until you had to decide to play it noble and send me off to where I was sure to be 'happy.' Happy!? The hell did you think I would be happy without you, Heero? Do you know what happiness is? Do you understand that? Do you understand that me being happy would be with you!? Even if we lived in the slums of L2, if I was with you, my life would be worthwhile. I would have a reason to get up in the morning and live. And now…." Duo was panting hard by now, his little rant taking quite a wind out of him and he sat for a moment, clasping his chest and letting air slowly fill his lungs. He could feel a lump rising in his throat, biting hid lip hard, as so he might not cry again. Boys did not cry, ever.
…Ever….
[The miles just keep rollin',
As the people leave their way to say hello.
I've heard this life is overrated,
But I hope it gets better as we go.]
"You stupid idiot," Duo flicked Heero's forehead affectionately, his voice softened again, the sadness he had felt at being away from Heero for so long subsiding into the dark shadows beneath the bed. He still amazed at the boy's newfound uncanny ability to sleep through the end of the world, quite unlike the war days when Duo's mere rolling over in bed would have stirred him from slumber. At last, a tear fell down Duo's cheek and landed upon Heero's lip, his pout quivering ever so slightly as the damp drop fell upon him. "You stupid, stupid idiot! Why'd ya still have to care so much? You have to go and make this so much harder for me than it already is! That's just so like you! You had to go and care enough to make me go off with Hilde after the war and get a job. And then getting stuck with years without seeing so much as a hair on your head all 'cause of the stupid damn Preventers killed me enough and now… now that I finally get a mission that sends me literally to your side, I can't even tell you that I'm here. This is almost worst than the years without you, this being here with you, and yet, still alone. It kills me. Love absolutely kills me! Dammit!" Duo shook his head as the harsh whispered swear cut the quiet night. "Dammit Yuy, I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could just hold you again, forever, instead of being as good as dead to you!" He chanced another quick touch before disappearing back into the night, leaving Heero with the memory of a dream so realistic, it left the taste of tears on his mouth.
[I'm here without you baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby,
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, there's only you and me.
Heero's eyes slowly fluttered open, his gaze falling upon the same moonlit room, filled with the same crazy shadows, the same clutter and the same melancholy air. He thought that he had dreamed of a soft warm hand stroking his brow and cradling him in his sleep, but awoke to find it just that: a dream. There was no one there. He was still alone and forgotten without anyone to hold him tight and tell him that he had no reason to be afraid anymore.
Touching his cheek, he could feel a splotch of damp tears there, mingled with the salty wetness that was now falling from his own eyes. "How could anyone cry for me? The only who cries for me anymore is… me… because I don't have anyone to share my loneliness with anymore."
[Everything I know, and everywhere I go,
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.
And when the last one falls,
When it's all said and done,
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.
Oh no….]
{{A/n}} Song credit to Green Day for Who Wrote Holden Caulfield Uh, as for an explaination for a Green Day song being on a vinyl, this is what I have to tell you. Originally, I had a Beatles song there, so it being on a record would make sense. But then I decided that I couldn't write a 'fic based so heavily off 'The Catcher in the Rye' without using that one, so I switched 'em and was too lazy to do anything about the record. I know Greenday has released their CD '1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours' on vinyl. I dunno if they did the same for 'Kerplunk', but I'd imagine as much, so just kind of work with me here, okay? Man, that was wordy. I doubt you all even care. Oh, and the other song belongs to Three Doors Down. It's called Here Without You. Can't wait to see them at the DC101 Chili Cook-off! *giddy snigger*