Coming Through the Rye

by Link Worshiper

A lonely and depressed Heero has found his way back to school, unsure of what point life has for him anymore now that Duo has vanished into thin air. But then an odd Preventers agent who knows way more than she should about Duo crashes into his life. 1x2

5. Diamonds Are Forever

Coming Through the Rye

By Shannon the Twisted Link Worshiper

~ Part V ~

Diamonds Are Forever

"Psst, naughty Heero!" An elbow jabbed Heero in the gut, making him jump a bit. His book slid from between the pages of his heavy history text into his lap, causing him to swear low in Japanese. Thankfully the withered old monk who taught the course was too busy droning on about the importance of a stable economy between the Earth and her colonies to pay the antics in the second to last row any mind.

"Will you shut up and keep yourself from leaning over my shoulder?" Heero hissed at Hoshi in a tone that sounded strangely mixed between irritancy and joking sarcasm. "I'm trying to spend my time well."

"You must find all your classes a waste of time since you seem to read through all of them!" She kept her eyes still focused at the head of the classroom as she spoke in a low whisper from the corner of her mouth.

"And yet I'm passing at the top of each one so mind your business!" Heero shot back under his breath, sinking low into his chair and replacing 'The Catcher in the Rye' between the pages of the history book propped up on his lap as he returned to the book, back to finding Duo breathing on almost every page.

{They let me give them ten bucks as a contribution. They kept asking me if I was sure I could afford it and all. I told them I had quite a bit of money with me, but they didn't seem to believe me. They took it, though, finally. The both of them kept thanking me so much it was embarrassing. I swung the conversation around to general topics and asked them where they were going. They said they were schoolteachers from Chicago and that they were going to start teaching at some convent on 168th Street or 186th street or one of those streets way the hell uptown. The one next to me, with the iron glasses, said she taught English and her friend taught history and American government. Then I started wondering like a bastard what the one sitting next to me, the one that taught English, thought about, being a nun and all, when she read certain books for English. Books not necessarily with a lot of sexy stuff in them, but books with lovers and all in them. Take old Eustacia Vye, in 'The Return of the Native' by Thomas Hardy. She wasn't too sexy or anything, but even so you can't help wondering what a nun thinks about old Eustacia. I didn't say anything, though, naturally. All I said was that English was my best subject.}

"You're reading way the hell ahead," Hoshi murmured when the teacher got distracted by some thickheaded student's dull question. "It's not like you need to. Ain'tcha read the book before?"

"Yes," Heero said tartly, his eyes frozen upon the page, right at the end of the paragraph he had just finished. "This part is important to Duo... to me. I like to read it whenever I feel… lonely…"

"I think that book has a lot of spots like that," Hoshi smiled knowingly as she also sunk low in her chair, arms folded behind her head. D.B. had started poking her in the back of her neck with his pencil from the row behind while Sora started pissing at him for being a pest and not paying attention. Hoshi, ignoring the commotion behind her, went on speaking to Heero in her hushed tones about the book that had captured both their hearts. "Are you feeling lonely then, Heero?"

"No," he said a little to quickly before sucking it back in with a nervous breath. "Well, maybe just a little." Hoshi was about to open her mouth to say something else, when Heero interrupted her train of thought.

"Yup?"

"Will you be my friend… so I don't have to be lonely?" he asked hastily, pretending to be totally absorbed in the book, though his eyes still had not left that blank space between paragraphs where he had left of a few minutes ago.

"Already am," Hoshi shrugged as she watched Heero go back to his reading. She was still looking over his shoulder, discreetly reading along with him, just to see what he was so interested in. she found that she was quite intrigued by what parts of the book Heero found dear or worth reading over again just for the hell of it.

{To tell you the truth, it was sort of embarrassing in a way, to be talking about 'Romeo and Juliet' with her. I mean that play gets pretty sexy in some parts, and she was a nun and all, but she asked me, so I discussed it with her for a while. "Well, I'm not too crazy about Romeo and Juliet," I said. "I mean I like them, but—I don't know. They get pretty annoying sometimes. I mean I felt much sorrier when old Mercutio got killed than when Romeo and Juliet did. The thing is, I never liked Romeo too much after Mercutio gets stabbed by that other man—Juliet's cousin—what's his name?"

"Tybalt."

"That's right, Tybalt," I said—I always forget that guy's name. "It was Romeo's fault. I mean I liked him best in the play, old Mercutio. I don't know. All those Montagues and Capulets, they're all right—especially Juliet—but Mercutio, he was—it's hard to explain. He was very smart and entertaining and all. The thing is, it drives me crazy if someone gets killed—especially someone very smart and entertaining and all—and it's someone else's fault. Romeo and Juliet, at least it was their own fault."}

"You never were lonely, Heero," she whispered to him after a while when the class started to try her patience again. She kept talking for lack of anything else to do. "You're just too idiotic to notice it when you had friends. Let's take Duo for example—"

Heero cut her off with one of those ever so evil stares of his and a grab at her wrist, changing into an almost completely different person, an emotionless terrorist soldier frightening the sad and loveable side of Heero to the banishment of his inner person and locking him away like a turnkey. Squeezing almost tight enough to break the bone, he said in a very serious, no-nonsense tone, "Don't even start. You don't know anything about Duo, no matter how… close… you say you are to him. I don't need to hear you bringing him up every word, like you're trying to make some point. You know where he is, that I'm sure, and sooner or later, you're going to screw up and make a slip that tells me exactly what I need to know. So don't go thinking that you have one up on me or anything. Leave Duo out of everything we say and do together unless you're going to tell me where I can find him. He is not any of your concern."

"You think you own him or something?" Hoshi closed her textbook on the table in front of her, as if in a silent act of defiance, now ready to battle one-on-one. She kept on talking, her voice a deep unwavering calm, though the passion building up inside of her was beginning to tear at the seams inside of her. "What is he to you then? Some pet that you think you can just take on your lap and use for your own pleasure? He's human you know! What would you do with him if you found him again? Just drag him to your dormitory by the collar and throw him in bed? Huh, well would you? Just like you used to? Would it just all be the same way it used to be all over again?"

A haunting memory flashed through Heero's mind, making him cringe with the burden of a whole multitude of mixed emotions. He could hear the conversation flashing through his head at lightning speed, the image of Duo's wine drunken eyes peering out from beneath a large fluffy pillow still fresh in his mind as if it had happened only the day before.

"Do you love her, Heero?"

"No."

"Then do you love me?"

"No."

"So I really am just your whore then? A pet to play with?"

"I don't know…. I guess so…."

"No, no!" Heero shook his head, his fingers wound in the disarray of brown hair that fell over his eyes. Quivering almost violently, he shouted it again. "NO!"

The whole class ground to a dead halt, slowly turning as one body to all face Heero. He was leaning on his desk, elbows crushed into the flat wooden surface, his eyes wide with fear as that recollection enflamed in his head, burning with a satanic crackling glee as it drove the dark blue eyed boy near a point of insanity.

"Mister Yuy?" the history professor called back in his rolling refined southern American drawl. "Mister Yuy, is there something you would like to share with the class, hmm?"

"It's not like that at all!" were the only words Heero could find, screaming them aloud more to himself than Hoshi, or anyone for that matter.

The teacher, taking this comment the complete wrong way, began to make his way to the back of the room where Heero sat, beating his head into the palms of his hands while muttering inaudibly to himself. The wizened old monk seemed greatly disturbed by this sudden change in character of the most silent and seemingly emotionless student to ever grace his classroom, and was not at all sure how to approach the matter. Almost afraid to speak aloud, the teacher found himself standing a good few feet away from Heero, well out of arm's reach (he had heard those rumours about Heero's strength as well), as he gently prodded the distraught boy with what he felt were subtle words. "Mister Yuy, if you do not feel fit to sit through this class without disrupting—"

Heero sudden scream ended that sentence prematurely. His eyes seemed almost totally white with rage, or clouded with some form of radical emotion. "He's gone crazy!" someone shouted from the front of the classroom. For some reason, this struck everyone who was not close to Heero (and this was a good portion of the class), as extremely funny, the snickers and chuckles rising up in the air witness to that fact.

"Shut up!" D.B. was screaming at them as Sora did her best to try and get the attention of Hoshi, who was busy making apprehensive attempts to put her hands on Heero's shoulders. "Hey will you all shut up!? Don't judge things you know nothing about you buncha dirty lying hypocrites!"

"What did you say to him?" Sora hissed at Hoshi behind a raised hand over one side of her mouth.

"I didn't say a word!" Hoshi threw her arms up in her own defense, carefully making sure to avert her eyes from Heero, who was slowly deteriorating beside her. He kept mumbling something about Duo not being a slut, and that what he felt was something more than just lust and an escape.

"You had to have said something to upset him like that," D.B. said with a worried look in his eye as he glanced quickly at Heero. Seeing Sora nodding along in agreement pushed him on further. "Goddamn Hoshi, even you have to have some tact! Look at what you did! You just had to get all philosophical on his ass, didn't you?"

"He deserved it!" Hoshi crossed her arms.

"He deserved what?" the monk asked, realizing that Hoshi obviously had a lot to do with this crisis. "Is this your doing, Miss Hoshi?"

"Not really," she said, sounding a little guilty at last. "Everything you're seeing is his own fault."

"What's his fault?"

"His memories," she answered with a nonchalant shrug, as if the answer was the most palpable conclusion in the world. Though perhaps not as much so to just anyone, but to someone like Hoshi, it most surely was. "He chose his own path. Things that are making him go crazy now are his fault."

"Looks like he regrets it though," Sora pointed out. "Shouldn't you forgive a person if they obviously are sorry?"

"Not if they're going rabid in the middle of my lecture!" the teacher all but whined. The retort was kind of pathetic coming from a grown man. Hoshi, D.B. and Sora took a brief moment to snigger. Shaking his head, he was about to motion for Hoshi, then thought better of it, and pulled Sora from her seat. "Take him to the infirmary or something. Get him a glass of water or a sedative or something, just get him out of here!"

"What if he kills her?" the same ignorant bastard from the front of the room called. "Who's liable?"

"Shut your trap, bitch, or we'll sic him on you!" D.B. screamed at the boy as Sora delicately maneuvered a still shaking and muttering, but thankfully calming Heero from the classroom, slamming the door behind her as she left.

Making their way down the empty hall, she stole a glance at the brutally handsome boy walking in minute paces just behind her, wringing a dirty old white copy of 'The Catcher in the Rye' in his perfectly sculpted hands as they went. In the silence that hung between them, she could not help but try and guess what went on behind those disquieting Prussian eyes, wondering what sorts of things could cause a seemingly well-balanced person to suddenly snap like this. Her gaze fell to those writhing hands, still turning the book over and over, stroking the smooth paper cover as if it were some sort of comfort. I wonder what kinds of things those hands have done in the past to make him this way? Was it killing in the war or… something deeper than even that? She shoved her hands deep into her uniform skirt pockets as she mussed over it in her mind.

"S-Sora?" a meek quavering, almost unrecognizable voice said from behind her. She turned to see Heero stopped in the middle of the hall, gripping the book tight. Not waiting for her to acknowledge that he had spoken, Heero kept talking, knowing that she was listening, even if no words were spoken. "Who am I?"

"What are you talking about?" a very flummoxed Sora asked as she tugged Heero by the arm. He refused to budge an inch, and Sora quickly learned that there was not a way in hell that she could even dream of contending with his strength, so she let him be, contenting herself with reaching over to loosen the thin black tie around the stiff collar of his school shirt.

"I don't know who I am anymore," he shrugged, hugging his book tighter to his side, his voice sounding much like it was used to, a beautiful deep monotone that was almost bell-like. "I thought I had it all figured out, and that I had moved on with my life. Next thing you know, Hoshi comes sailing in out of nowhere and totally flips things upside down all over again. It was hard enough the first time. Now it's almost worse, with feelings she can dig up and throw in my face. Sometimes I wonder if she really is my friend or if she's…. Oh I don't know!" He threw his arms up in defeat.

"Of course she's your friend, silly. Besides, I think you're stuck on her," she smiled, making the most cheerful face she could muster. "Me and D.B are too. You shouldn't dwell so much in the past. Take the moment you have now and forget everything else!"

"I thought I was, just like Duo always said to, until she came along!" he protested, slowly starting to walk again, this time side-by-side with Sora, instead of dropping back forlornly as he had been before. "She makes me think about the past, and everything I used to have that's gone to me forever! I can't be happy knowing that I threw away the best thing I ever had."

"And what was that?" Sora asked kindly, almost knowing instinctively what the reply would be. Most everything Heero did or said seemed to be related in some way to that Duo character. Though she doubted she would ever meet him, or know very much more than what she already did about him, she figured that Duo was indeed a very integral part of unraveling the mystery not only around Heero, but around Hoshi as well.

"And what do you mean that I'm stuck on her?" he asked suddenly. "I don't like her like that at all! She's… she's… everything in a person I should like. She looks and acts like Duo. Hell, she could be his twin! But she's just… she's just not him."

Heero refused to say any more as they stopped in front of the infirmary, a set of apartments that had once been a large guest bedroom in the huge old house that now served as a school building. Sora pushed open the oaken door and found the nurse sitting at her desk in the little entrance parlor of the rooms, the phone cradled in her shoulder as she spoke business to some sick student's mother, reading off a medical report on her desktop computer. Looking up and noticing the two standing in her office, she gave them a quick nod that she had noted their presence in the room and went back to wrapping up her conversation to the worried woman on the other end of the phone line.

Hanging up the phone, the nurse spun around on her swivel chair, folding her hands professionally on her white coat covered lap. "Well then, I'm sorry that took a bit, you two. What can I do for you?"

"Uh, Heero wasn't exactly…." Sora trailed off, unsure of really how to explain it without insulting Heero.

"I am feeling completely well, Sora," Heero took the silence and ran with it. He did not see any need as to why he should have to even be there, not that he could really even remember the incident in the history classroom, though he still had a raging headache and he did feel a bit queasy.

"Something wrong with Mister Yuy here?" the nurse asked, wheeling her chair over the uneven floorboards to a black file cabinet on the other side of the little parlor and yanking open an extremely ordered drawer, sifting through various manila folders until she found what she was looking for. Leafing through it, she said aloud, "Mister Yuy, with a perfect health record not only here, but predating his entry to our school. What could be the matter now?"

"Well, it's a bit strange to explain," Sora said, gathering up all the confidence she had stowed away inside. Though Heero was not about to admit it, there had been something seriously wrong with him back there, though he seemed to be on the mend, turning back into the familiar Heero with every moment. Though he was now fine on the outside, she was pretty sure there was still quite a bit of turmoil churning around on a psychological level for Heero, and she knew he would probably benefit most well from a quiet rest away from the rest of the school. "I do think he should lie down though. He's not quite well."

"Not quite well, how?" the nurse asked, not even looking up from Heero's student record. "It's not easy for someone with such an impeccable immune system to just suddenly get sick. Why, it's not even flu season or anything!"

"I wouldn't say it's really anything like that," Sora answered blandly. She was not getting the results she desired from the woman, so she just put her foot down, Hoshi's influence upon her obviously shining through. "Look, I don't care what you think or what Heero even thinks! What I think is that he should have himself a good rest to collect his thoughts and get it together. He's been having it sort of rough as of late and he needs some time to just recuperate from the shock of it all! Get him a bed, some aspirin and a glass of water, and be done with it already! I'm not gonna argue about it!"

"Well gee, Miss Sora, that's all you had to say!" the nurse sighed, exasperated. Shoving Heero's folder back into the filing cabinet, she ushered Sora to the door and closed it after her before dragging a very stony Heero into the back bedroom, which was now used as a sick bay.

At first unbeknownst to the nurse, the dark bed filled room seemed to trigger some sickening memory in Heero's mind, his face taking on that contorted expression as seen in the history room before. He started muttering insanely to himself and wringing his hands nervously again. "He's not a slut, not a slut, not my pet, not my whore."

"What's that?" the nurse seemed to have heard snippets of Heero's low spoken mantra, and was apparently a bit disturbed by it. Looking up from the bed she was making up for the short Japanese boy, she saw the beginnings of the same psychotic condition Heero had slipped into earlier and had a drastic thought that she might have to either strap him down or fetch a narcotic for him if he became worse.

"He won't ever be my whore, never again," Heero's breaths quickened. Seeing this, the nurse quickly guided him to the bed and sat him down at its edge as Heero continued to talk aloud to himself. "I won't let him be just my whore ever again. 'Cause he's not a slut, he's not a slut…."

"So that's what she meant," the nurse said to herself as she quickly ran to the joining bathroom on the other side of the room to grab a glass of water for the now shaking boy, lying on the bed in a cold sweat. Before returning to Heero's bedside, she made a stop at a large locked bookcase filled with medication and other such drugs and after scanning the labels quickly, grabbed a small orange bottle and returned to her patient. Pulling 'The Catcher in the Rye' from Heero's sweaty grasping hand, she replaced it with two of the heavy drowse inducing pills from the orange bottle and helped him bring them to his mouth and swallow them with a swig of water. Feeling his forehead for any signs of a fever and mercifully finding none, she helped him lay back onto the soft flat pillow and held him by his wrists until he fell into a drug-induced sleep that was riddled with dreams of his ever-present past.

There was Duo, ahead of him, running away, looking back over his shoulder at him with a mischievous grin on his face ever so often until the whole world seemed to tilt and waver, surrounding them in a strange haze. When the fog cleared, Heero had landed back in his past, watching those old instances that plagued his heart unfold once more before him.

Wing lay, almost totally decimated, on the deck of a dark stealthy ship floating in the darkness of the Pacific Ocean. He was back on that Sweepers ship, the place where Duo had brought him as a place of refuge after that whole crazy incident with the hospital. The moon was bright, grinning down upon Heero's shadowy form upon the deck as he sat crouched beneath the safety of Wing's mechanical hand, still working over a few last minute repairs. He was just wondering to himself what he was going to do about those missing parts, his eyes wandering with ill intent towards the black Gundam that lay peering out from beneath a huge grey tarp on the other side of the boat, when that tall thin boy with the long messy braid came stumbling clumsily from atop the Gundam, jumping to the deck with the hollow sound of his combat boots connecting with the steel floor. He had apparently been lying there for heaven knew how long, watching the stars twinkling in the midnight sky. Heero was suddenly iced to his spot, hands frozen against Wing's metal body as he watched the gangly youth tip his black cap in his general direction with a large quirky grin as some form of goodnight before making his way down into the belly of the great steel boat to turn in for the night. It sent shockwaves rippling through his body, making his heart palpate quicker and numbed his brain from any train of rational thought. He quickly turned back to his work, forcing himself to focus on Wing's current state of dysfunction.

After a while of quiet mechanical labour, he found that a shadow had cast itself over his work. "Hn, out of the way," he absently told whatever it was that had moved between him and the moon's icy glow. "I can't see what the hell I'm doing."

"You look like you're doing a fine job to me." He had been startled to hear a voice reply. He knew that voice quite well by then, however, he slowly turned around, feigning supreme distaste, to face the braided Maxwell boy who had just sauntered by earlier. He was standing there with a steaming mug of something in his finely sculpted hands, his cap still perched atop the mess of long brown hair, his big plum hued eyes still sparkling from behind his unkempt fringy bangs, and a cute expression of confusion twisting that pert little mouth of his upside-down. "But you looked kind of cold out here; it is almost winter, after all, and I just thought that you might want something to warm you up."

Heero blinked his eyes a couple times at Duo, his face totally devoid of any expression that could be named by an emotion. He surveyed the boy, looking him over from head to toe and then finally settled on a very uncaring choice of words. "I thought you had gone to bed. What are you still doing here?"

"I told you, babe, to bring you this hot cocoa," he said cheerfully cocking his head as he extended the mug out in both hands. The steam curled over the rim of the mug and over his pale hands, floating upwards into a misty oblivion. When Heero said nothing, simply staring from the mug to Duo and then back again, Duo started to babble on mindlessly to fill the silence. "Well I could understand if you're not too keen to drink it. We don't have anything too, too fancy on board but I spiced up the last of our chocolate with some amaretto I keep hidden underneath my bed so the rest of the boys don't get at it. Tastes very good in hot cocoa I might add. I mean, it's really not much, and I'm kind of starting to run out of the liquor, but I guess for you I was willing to let you have the last drop…."

Heero had given up staring at the mug and was now fixated on Duo and only Duo. He had long since stopped listening to what the braided American boy had been talking about, now focused only on his lithe body, his pretty features and long attractive hair. So it was true that Heero had found the boy ridiculously cute the first time he had laid eyes upon him, standing there with the black baseball cap pulled over his big violet coloured irises, gun awkwardly held out before an adorably pouted mouth. At the time, Heero had felt it was just a dark angel from hell dropping in for a quick visit, only to be gone in a moment, never to be heard from again until he had gotten landed in the hospital. The moment he had seen that baseball cap and the pretty little grin that oozed with waywardness pop up again, Heero figured that this was not someone who was just going to fade away into the darkness like a shadow. This one was here to stay, and Heero figured he might as well take full advantage of it. It was all part of being a soldier. At least, that was what he had told himself at the time.

"…Huh? What's up, babe?" Duo cocked his head the other way, blinking in the same confused fashion Heero had just before. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

Heero soundlessly reached over the space between them and took the mug into his calloused hands, his eyes never wavering from Duo's. Duo was locked under his stare, unable to turn his lilac gaze away from the hardened stare of the beautiful Japanese boy that radiated mystery and uncertainty. He looked down briefly at the mug and the thick liquid chocolate swirling around inside before returning to Duo's eyes, that iced over glare still upon his face.

Duo quavered a bit under that stare and said with a nervous air that was concealed only by an offhand chuckle, "It's not poisoned, if that's what you're wondering, babe." Gathering his confidence up again, he replaced the jovial mask and said with a wink, "You think I'd try to poison someone as sexy as you? You're absolutely jolly-spiffin' nuts if you think so, babe."

The silence that ensued was punctuated with a very unexpected "Thank you," from the stoic Wing pilot as he settled down on the deck, leaning up against his Gundam's metallic body as he cradled the warm mug, just enjoying the heat upon his palms, his eyes wandering up to the star splotched heavens. Duo was still standing there, watching all this, but soon seemed to figure that the thanks had been a dismissal and that he was no longer needed. He turned to go but was stopped again by that low soothing voice. "Are you lonely?"

Duo stopped his tracks, his back still facing Heero as he responded, his voice suddenly serious, no longer carrying that happy tone it once had only seconds ago. "Yes."

"So am I."

"Do you need company?"

"Yes."

Duo finally spun about, braid whipping around behind him as he did so, slowly walking over to where Heero sat, at last sipping the hot cocoa. Duo crouched down next to him, watching him with those huge exotic amethyst orbs as he clutched his knees tightly to his chest. He rocked back and forth on his haunches, still eyeing Heero with a curious look painted upon his face as he watched him enjoy the mug of hot cocoa. Soon his eyes left Heero and wandered up to the inky blue washed across the nighttime sky, trying to pinpoint just what he was looking at. "Whatcha up to, babe? Are you trying to see if you can find your home from down here?" he asked at long last, the suspense of unknowing finally unable to contain itself inside.

"I don't have a home," he answered blandly. "I never belonged anywhere."

"Then what are you looking for out there?" Duo wondered aloud, falling into a more comfortable sitting position with crossed legs. He reclined up against the white Gundam, hip pressed against that of the other boy, arms folded behind his head. "Comfort or something?"

"I was trying to figure out why I exist," was his saddened reply. Duo seemed entranced by the sound of his voice, closing his eyes every time Heero opened his mouth to speak, just to enjoy the way his voice fell upon his ears. "The universe is so big and I'm so insignificant. Why does anyone think that I could change the course of history all alone?"

"Not alone," Duo grinned. "I could maybe help you. Or at least I could comfort your loneliness. It would comfort mine anyway."

"Who are you? Where do you come from?" Heero asked at length, perplexed by Duo and his odd replies to his questions. Though he was pretty sure that the way Duo treated him would not have mattered if he was a terrorist from the stars or some high ranking Earth official, he had never known anyone who spoke to him so openly and friendly, like an equal. He set the now empty mug aside and folded his arms behind his head. He justified his earlier queries with a rushed clarification, "I've never met anyone quite like you before."

"There," Duo pointed up at the heavens, his finger singling out the bright stars that made up the L2 colony cluster. A frown crossed his face as he tightened up again, drawing his knees to his chest once more. "It was a pretty crappy place, what with people dying in the streets and the Earth feds running around dumping their shit on anyone they could find who was poorer than they were. I mean, no matter what Earth said, their troops were up there 'cause they were stuck up there, just like everyone else on that goddamned colony. I guess they just needed a way to keep themselves occupied, even if it meant making life living hell for nearly everyone on the colony… 'Cause near everyone up there's poor... either really rich or really poor. There was no in the middle. They're fighting to survive up there on their own, no thanks to Earth." he added, spitting into his hands and rubbing them together for warmth. He paused for a moment to catch his breath after that spell of ranting before beginning his talking again. "As for me, well, I got by as well as I could. I haven't got any parents that I can really remember 'cause of all the fighting and such, so I've been wandering around the streets for a while. Thieving was really the only way me and Solo and the rest of the gang could get by day to day. I mean, it's not that appealing or nothing, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do to get a hot meal once in a while. When my good buddy, old Solo, kicked over from that rotten plague, I kind of turned to whoring to keep a few bucks in my pocket 'cause stealing just wasn't cutting it anymore. What a way to waste a childhood, I say. For cripes sake, I was barely ten or so at the time and if it wasn't for that church, I bet I'd be dead. Innocence gave me the short end of the stick, I can assure you that." At that, he plopped his chin atop his knees and would not say any more on the subject of his past nor his opinion on innocence, something that Heero actually found himself wondering about. Maybe Heero's own past had not been as emotionally or physically scarring as Duo's, but it was not what one would call a decent upbringing nonetheless.

"You like to talk a lot," Heero said in lieu of pursuing any such topics. He just decided he had to fill the silence with something. He may have been more on the callous side of things, but he decided he did not like the way a person's face looked when it was wet with tears. So when Duo had begun to sob a bit, he scrambled for words to try and patch it up.

"Does that bother you?" he asked between sobs. "I'm sorry if it does. I bother a lot of people. Why do you think I'm here without a home either?"

"You're cold," Heero said simply as he slowly put his arms around the shivering boy and pulled him close. Duo wiped away his tears and buried his face into Heero's green tank top. Somewhat unsure of how to hold a person in a comforting way, Heero brought a hand up and slowly removed Duo's baseball cap, dropping it beside him before letting his fingers entwine themselves in Duo's long braid, stroking the long tresses absently as he took his thoughts back to the stars. "Shh, stop crying."

"Does clinging to something make you forget?" Duo asked into the dark green fabric of the other boy's shirt. He could feel Heero's chest quake with each heavy breath, his initial reaction to that sensation being to tighten his limbs around him, pulling himself closer to the thin muscled young body in his arms. "It makes me forget. I don't have to worry about fading away or anything. Everyone always forgets that Death exists. I'm just a stupid shadow."

"You're still shivering," Heero commented insipidly. The hand that was not lost in Duo's thick tresses was wandering up and down his spine, tracing the bones that were so distinguishable beneath his long thin physique. Feeling those shakes and unsure if it was cold or crying that was making him quiver so, Heero lifted the American boy into his arms with ease and started to walk towards Duo's quarters in the belly of the great steel ship. Duo's arms tightened around his neck and tried to press himself as close to Heero as he could as Heero brought him to his tiny cabin.

"It's warmer here," Duo commented as Heero set him down upon the meager cot bed in the messy little room. His arms were still wound around Heero's neck, keeping the other boy bent over him. Heero nearly froze when a warm tongue played over his cool flesh and a husky voice whispered in his ear, "It's much warmer here."

"What are you…?" Heero whispered, his eyes wide with surprise and his cheeks flushed red as a volley of soft kisses fell upon his neck and shoulder. "Why are you…?" His words fell short, becoming short desperate breaths of air as the pretty little touches that sprinkled his body began to sink into his flesh.

"I've been watching you for a while. You seem so desperate to cling to something baby, so why don't we just make the most of the dark?" Duo murmured into Heero's flesh, pulling him down onto his lap. His breathing was gravelly and his voice seductive as he went on speaking in a hushed tone. He could feel the stoic Japanese boy stiffen with surprise as he licked along his jaw line, murmuring words of seduction into his delicate ear. "You want to fuck me baby? I can tell you do, with the way you've been staring at me all day. Would you want to cling to me?"

"H-Hai," he breathed as he felt those slender arms slink around his waist and hold him fast to his body. He had no idea that Duo had been aware of his lust filled glances since the whole hospital breakout. It had been one of those things that Heero had meant to keep buried and secret, doubting that even if he were to speak his desires aloud, he would never get his way. And it any case, he himself had no idea how he ought to act upon these emotions. As he had always accustomed to live, he was following his emotions; despite the fact these emotions were new and a trifle confusing, Heero was more than ready to obey his passions. He began to wonder what good he had done lately to deserve such a reward.

"I think I need to cling to something too," Duo was saying between little nips at his flesh. "It's been a while since I've had someone to hold onto, and you… you're just so…." His words were lost as Heero wrenched Duo from his shoulder and forcefully pressed his lips against his. He could feel Duo's body excite at this sudden turn of events, his slyly smiling lips caressing Heero's mouth in a tantalizing slow kiss, gently prying his lips apart, sucking his warm tongue into his mouth as his hands began to wander over Heero's body, exploring curiously and intrigued. Pulling away and leaving Heero most certainly craving more, Duo looked into those murky Prussian pools of dark ice, searching for Heero's inner passions. Duo did not finish his last train of thought, his lips settling on a simple mysterious grin that radiated so much more than just pure lust.

No longer intimidated by Duo's sudden desire for him and too lost in his own passions and wants, he took Duo's chin a bit forcefully in his index finger and thumb with hidden super-human strength, as if he were examining his pale china face, and practically purred at him, "Beautiful. You are beautiful, Duo Maxwell."

"Is that what you think of me, baby?" Duo licked his lips, nuzzling the crook of Heero's neck affectionately. "No one I've ever met called their whore beautiful. You want me to be your whore, baby? 'Cause that's what people usually want with me."

"Mmm, pretty little American slut," Heero was nibbling Duo's earlobe as he brought himself closer to his soon-to-be lover's body, grinding softly against his slight frame. This was a very welcome turn of events." I want you, I do. This is all brand new. I've never felt this way for anyone before. I've never seen anyone as beautiful before."

"Me too baby, me too," Duo growled as he gave Heero a surprisingly forceful shove, sending him sprawling off his lap. As he slid off the bed and padded over to Heero on his hands and knees, he went on in that pleasing under-toned voice. "You know, you have such amazing eyes, baby, that I'd even be your whore for free." He pinned an unresisting Heero beneath him, grinning sadistically down upon him with a knowingly mischievous grin carved into his cherubic face. "Mm, yeah, such pretty eyes, even if they do hide whatever the hell you're really thinking about," he observed, flicking Heero's nose tenderly as he scrutinized the harshly breathing boy beneath him. "Ooh, you're damn horny baby,"

Heero was virtually magnetized to the amazing beauty crouched above him. It made him even hotter to think that this perfect creature was willing to be his without much protest at all. He had never expected that Duo could have wanted the exact same thing he had. After pretty much screwing up his first mission, he had been a bit pissed at himself and the war and was more than willing to find any way to relieve himself of that stress. Duo bent over him, guiding his lips towards his for another steamy kiss. Bringing his lips away for a moment, Heero huffed with a heavy breath one word, "More," before dragging Duo's mouth back upon his.

"You want more of this?" More kisses fell upon Heero's body, his mouth exploring avidly. "This, and this and this?" Duo asked between each kiss as he flung clothes across the room as he stripped them from both their bodies.

Heero's words were lost as anything coherent he had to say liquefied into wild sex-driven moans that grew louder and louder as Duo ministered to Heero's aching need. Even his desperate begging was no more than low strings of purred Japanese as Duo familiarized himself with his new lover. It was a war back then, and they were just two soldiers who needed a way to forget it all. It was lust, it was passion, it was pleasure, nothing less, and nothing more.

Duo had quite a while having his own way with a perfectly succumbing Heero, but as time wore on, he could feel Heero beginning to get impatient with him, tired of being toyed with and teased. It could only have gone on that way so long, anyway. He was soon thrown on his back and at Heero's mercy before he even had a chance to realize what had happened. Much to his delight though, he found that Heero was mimicking every luscious pleasure he had just exercised on him earlier. After a bit of experimenting, they found themselves fucking each other like animals on the floor, twisted in the tangled bed sheets they had dragged off the bed as they fought each other down with lusty thrusts and zealous shouts and moans.

"Am I your first, baby? Hard to believe. You're damn amazing." Duo stretched out in a catlike yawn, his flesh rubbing against Heero's own as he did so when they were finally worn out, now just lying beside each other in the almost stifling room, letting the fresh sea air from the open portholes rush in to cool them off. All that could be heard in the heavy air was the quiet sound of a small boom box, trying in vain to lull the two soldiers to sleep.

[It's a damn cold night,
Trying to figure out this life.]
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new.
I don't know who you are but I…

...I'm with you….]

"Hai," came the husky reply, hushed and whispered. A protective arm slipped around Duo's waist and pulled their bodies closer as Heero snuggled against the lanky youth wrapped tightly in the sheets with him. He could smell the gingery scent of Duo's skin as he cuddled with him, holding him so tightly that Duo could not have moved if he wanted to. Meanwhile the wondrous longhaired American was simply lying there, breathing gently as he stared up at the ceiling, collecting his thoughts.

"Want me to be your last?" Duo leaned over and laid a small kiss on Heero's shoulder, almost painfully seductive. Heero was able to tell by the way Duo had been absently intently looking up into nothingness that his mind was elsewhere. Heero also knew he had probably been a bit hasty with him, practically forcing him to be his lover without so much as waiting for a nod of consent from the other, but he had been to preoccupied with his own lust to be troubled with the feelings of others. It certainly was not like Duo had not wanted it just as much as he had, and it definitely was not that the chestnut haired boy had not enjoyed it or anything; it just seemed that he had trouble coping with the notion of being used once again, as if that were his only purpose in life. Covering up for his mental unrest, no matter how obvious it was, Duo opened his mouth and kept talking, as it seemed typical with him, "I'll go at it again with you whenever you want, baby. Heh, and don't worry about ever having to pay me. With someone as good as you, what do I need money for any longer?"

"I want you to be my only," Heero growled as his grip on his lover's waist tightened, the fear that Duo might not want to escape with him again nipping at his mind and strangely, his heart. Then it might have had nothing to do with love, but Heero had trouble sharing most things. He was not about to let his new plaything just jump into anyone's bed without his consent. And knowing Heero, the only bed Duo would be crawling into would be his. "I won't share you with anyone. You belong to me and I to you, Duo Maxwell."

The rest of Heero's memories concerning that night were all a blur. He could only remember the sound of Duo's laughter, a sound that fueled him through the war and the nameless songs that played on the radio, singing the stories of their lives.

[I don't know who you are but I…
...I'm with you….]

{A/N} I really don't care for Avril Laveign very much (she's too much of a poseur) however, that song has a habit of getting stuck in your head, and it said what I was trying to get at so there you go. I guess I'll go as far as to say that I do think it's rather pretty.... I'll have to go do penance by listening to some real punk rock for a couple hours. Keep your eyes open for the next chapter next week and I do hope that I haven't bored you all to tears yet.