(as recorded by Peter Pettigrew, Mr. Wormtail)
Place: Potter Manor
Date: July 10th
Members: Remus Lupin, Mr. Moony
Peter Pettigrew, Mr. Wormtail
Sirius Black, Mr. Padfoot
James Potter, Mr. Prongs
Madeline Potter, Miss Maddy
Lily Evans, Miss Lily (Mrs. Prongs)
Prongs: Mr. Prongs hereby calls this meeting of the Marauders of Hogwarts to order...and Miss Lily. Pledge?
MWPP & Maddy: We solemnly swear that we are up to no good and shall quest to aid all fellow mischief makers in generations past, future, and present, causing as much trouble as possible.
Moony raises his hand
Moony: Mr. Moony requests we change our name from 'the Marauders of Hogwarts' to merely 'the Marauders' as we are no longer at school.
Prongs: A motion has been set forth. All in favor?
All: Aye!
Prongs: We are now the Marauders.
Padfoot: Why is Mr. Moony always the one to complain about our name?
Moony: Because Mr. Moony pays more attention to our name than Mr. Padfoot does.
Lily: Miss Lily would like to know the exact situation on Miss Maddy and her connections with the Marauders.
Prongs: Miss Maddy, will you tell your story?
Maddy: It is your club, Mr. Prongs.
Padfoot: Okay, Mr. Padfoot gets to tell it. It all began one summer day when Mr. Padfoot was over at Mr. Prongs's house, and--
Lily: Miss Lily requests that Mr. Padfoot be allowed to speak in first person during his story, as it otherwise makes it very long and drawn out and makes him sound retarded.
Prongs: Request accepted. Mr. Padfoot has temporary power to speak in the first person.
Padfoot: Okay, me and Prongs were at his house and we were bored, okay?
Moony: Oh no...not this again.
Padfoot: Quiet. Well anyway, we were bored. There were no more pranks to play.
Prongs: Yeah, my mum was pretty much terrified by then anyway.
Padfoot: Who has power to speak in first person, here? Only me, hello!
Prongs: impatient Mr. Prongs grants all members temporary power to speak in first person.
Maddy: You hadn't done enough to poor Mum by then.
Padfoot: It wasn't that bad.
Lily: What was it?
Padfoot: Only a few dungbombs, a few exploding teacups, that one Garglefrugle-MonsterBeast, then there was the incident with the niffler--
Prongs: But that was purely accidental, you understand.
Maddy: wryly Quite. And it was pure accident you let it loose three feet away from Mum's jewelry box.
Padfoot: It was!
Maddy: Riiight.
Lily: Get on with the story.
Padfoot: Well, anyway, we were bored, and totally out of prank ideas. This was before I found my radio.
Moony: and I wish you never had found that stupid radio.
Padfoot: I like my radio. Well anyway, we were out of prank ideas and bored, and we were ten years old.
Lily: What's the difference?
Prongs: injured We're sixteen!
Lily: I repeat, what's the difference?
Padfoot: Sush. You just lost your speaking priveleges.
Lily: bemused What?
Padfoot: Well, anyway, we were ten years old, and we were into the whole 'secret club' thing.
Maddy: I was the one who was thirteen.
Padfoot: And we wanted to start a secret club but we didn't know what to name it or where to build it.
Moony: under his breath, along with Padfoot And so we decided to build the clubhouse out in the backyard...
Padfoot: And we were trying to paint a sign on the door, but we couldn't because we didn't have a name.
MWPP: along with Padfoot then Prongs told me to go ask Maddy, and she was reading the court book at the time, and she said to call ourselves the Marauders.
Padfoot: Right! And so we painted it on the door but we misspelled it and called ourselves the "Mrading Mruders" in big red paint and it was permanent and James's mum laughed her head off at us and we couldn't figure out what was so funny.
Moony: finishing it then when they got on the Hogwarts express for the first time, they met me and we got to be friends. And they let me into their 'secret club'.
Maddy: Don't forget Wormtail.
Padfoot: I was getting to that! Well, then we added Wormtail. At first we thought girls were gross.
Prongs: But we didn't know Lily.
Lily: I feel flattered.
Padfoot: Then I got that crush on Sylvia Cress, remember her? She turned out to be this snotty little brat, after all.
Moony: but she was pretty.
Padfoot: She was a fifth year.
Lily: When was your first kiss, again?
Padfoot: I was five years old.
Lily: Why am I not surprised?
Padfoot: That was Wendy Haver, the girl next door. She had these two braided pigtails that I thought were sooo awesome at the time.
Wormtail: snorts
Padfoot:Hey, I was five. Give me a break.
Moony: Why? You never give us a break.
Padfoot: You just lost your speaking priveleges. No more chocolate frogs for you.
Moony: No! Not the chocolate frogs!
Padfoot: Be quiet, then. Anyway....what was I saying?
Maddy: You were just telling us who you had a crush on.
Padfoot:Right! Anyway, you know that Ravenclaw girl...hey, no I wasn't!
Padfoot glares at Maddy
Maddy: Sorry Sirius, but you're so easy to bribe.
Padfoot: This is a meeting! Nicknames only!
Prongs: Right, this is a meeting! And its purpose was not to relate the history of Padfoot's girlfriends.
Moony: That would take all day.
Lily: Tell me about it. I've had way too many girls come crying to me over it.
Moony: What, you're like their guidance counselor or something?
Lily: They think I am.
Maddy: What's with the 'like'? Has Moony turned into a Valley Girl?
Padfoot:in a fake Californian accent And then I was like, no way! And then he was like, way! And I was like, don't go there girlfriend, and he was all talk to the hand, and then I was like, well fine, be that way, and I was all like, fine, it's over!
There is a short silence
Prongs: That was disturbing.
Lily:Very.
Maddy: It was hilarious.
Prongs: What was I saying?
Maddy: About how the purpose of this meeting was to discuss how to best be my slaves.
Prongs: Um, no. Sorry. No, the purpose of the meeting is to inform the group in three calendar changes.
Wormtail: Who's?
Prongs: Mr. Padfoot, Miss Lily, and I are going on vacation to Flordia.
Moony: Are we back to third person?
Prongs: All temporary first person powers are retracted, third person is re-instated.
Maddy: Miss Maddy would like to inform the court that she will be spending all of July with her fiance in Ireland.
Padfoot: Oooh, Miss Maddy's going to marry an Irishman? Mr. Padfoot would like to caution her to beware of his temper, as Irishmen are notorious for their temper.
Maddy: Miss Maddy requests a safejacket so Mr. Padfoot will not hurt himself.
Prongs: Do you have a safejacket?
Maddy: No.
Prongs: Motion denied.
Maddy: Darn.
Lily: Miss Lily would like to ask Mr. Moony where Mrs. Moony is?
Moony: Miss Aladdin is currently at her home, like all sane people should be.
Padfoot: Mr. Padfoot would like to know if Mr. Moony's vacation plans include her?
Moony: What is this, court or the Spanish Inquisition? This is not an episode of 'Moony's Love Life'!
Maddy: Miss Maddy sets forth a request to change it to an episode of 'Moony's Love Life'.
Padfoot: Mr. Padfoot would like to say that if we don't reach for the stars, we will go to the dogs.
Prongs: No, Mr. Padfoot may not take charge of this court, and no, this will not become an episode in a bad soap opera.
Moony: I don't know whether to be offended or relieved.
Prongs: First person speaking without a grant--penalty to Mr. Moony.
Padfoot: You lose a point. Does anyone have any Drooble's Best Blowing Gum?
All ideas copyright the Marauders and Abigail, all characters copyright JK Rowling, the goddess/murderer. The idea inspired by Nicole (danellegirl56@yahoo.com), made possible by Esquiline (randomness muse).
Notebook: The 'you lost your speaking priveleges' is an idea from my Youth group. It was a strange ending, I know, but from here on out most of the chapter should cover one meeting. Padfoot's hysterical, isn't he?