Zongi stood, not waiting for the judge to get angry again, "I wish to call Celena Schezar to the stand." He said.
Dilandau watched his mother rise regally from the bench seat, walk in front of her brother and up the aisle. She looked determined and forceful and altogether very scary. He had seen her this way when she scolded him, but only when he had done something VERY bad. It was a measure of how good a mother she was that merely her peripheral anger on his behalf was making him want to apologize profusely for whatever he'd done.
She sat down and her demeanor abruptly changed. She smiled at Zongi as he stood, ready to answer any questions he had.
Dilandau felt much safer now that his mother was on the stand, fighting for him.
At midday when a sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe naught to any single cord,
But strictly held by none is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To everything on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightest bondage made aware.
Robert Frost - "The Silken Tent"
"Please, ma'am, state your name for the court." Zongi said, smiling kindly.
Celena nodded, "I am Celena Schezar, mother of Dilandau Schezar."
"You are the one who knows Dilandau the very best out of anyone, isn't that correct?" Zongi asked with a lackadaisical air, as if it was a simple question.
"I'd like to think that often I know him better than he knows himself…" Celena said with a vague smile, "But I'm sure that's not so true."
Dilandau returned his mother's smile. He wasn't embarrassed of his bond with his mother, least of all now when it could be the one thing that saves him.
Zongi spoke again, "Do you remember much about your days as the vessel for Dilandau Albatou?" he asked.
"I remember as if it was a very long dream." Celena said, "At times, it was almost as if I was right there, doing what he was doing, watching, but with no way of affecting it."
"Could you tell what he was thinking?" Zongi asked.
"At times, yes. For instance, I knew without a doubt that at the deepest part of him, he loved his Dragonslayers." Celena said with a smile, gesturing towards the seated throng of Dragonslayers, some of whom abruptly looked slightly nervous and chastened. A few, like Miguel, kept a stony countenance, and did not change expression.
Zongi smiled, "And when you could tell what he was feeling, what was the governing emotion?" he asked.
"Fear. Secondarily anger, and then pride." Celena said, "But Dilandau Albatou was always afraid, which is partly why I tried to raise my son in a world where he controlled his fear and didn't let it control him."
Zongi looked at her, "Can you explain how you knew that Dilandau was going to be reborn?"
"Mother's intuition?" Celena said with a chuckle, "One thing my brother told me we learned from the girl from the mystic moon was that sometimes if your wish is strong enough, you can make amazing things happen."
It gave Dilandau a surge of guilt to know that he had nearly let himself… die twice the night before. He had only been thinking of himself, a trait he was not pleased to share with his other self. He looked at his mother with apology in his eyes.
Celena laughed and lowered her eyes, telling him not to worry.
Zongi paused, "You knew both the old Dilandau and the new Dilandau better than anyone else could, so please tell us: Are they alike? Are they the same?"
Celena looked down, a mourning on her face, "Ever since the first time I met Dilandau, I've known him inside and out." she said slowly, sadly, "The 'old' Dilandau was filled with fear, hatred… But at his deepest heart, he and my son are one and the same. They have the same guilt, the same fears, the same daring," here she smiled, "and they are the same." She said helplessly, looking at Dilandau and now she was begging forgiveness. She knew she had told him the thing he least wanted to hear from the time he first knew who he used to be.
It was Dilandau's turn to grant forgiveness, though it did nothing to heal the heavy sadness weighing down his heart. He had known that, of course, known it with the deepest part of himself, no matter how he tried to deny it. Truth be told, and told by his own dear mother, it was a seamless fit between he and his other self. Even the one who knew him best told him that the terrible person from his dreams, that boy who killed hundreds without a qualm, who cared more about guymelefs than his own soldiers, his only friends, that person was him.
Zongi, strangely, didn't seem surprised at all, despite the fact that his strategy so far had been trying to prove that Dilandau and his other self were not the same person, "When was the first time you ever met Dilandau?" Zongi asked, somewhat curious.
Celena let a smile cross her face like a beam of sunlight, "Well. I was young and afraid… I was probably seven or eight." She met Dilandau's eye, noting his surprise, "And one day I felt I just couldn't take it anymore. I walked to a very high place and looked down and down…" her voice was distant now, she was remembering, "And I said, 'I'm going to jump off'" she laughed, it was all a game, but Dilandau listened hard, concentrating all of his mind on her voice, "I was holding onto the rail, swaying over the endless abyss, and as I struggled against the ropes of my arms-they didn't seem to want to let me go-I felt a tug." she paused, "I heard a voice. Well, I guess it wasn't hearing, and it wasn't speech. It was more like… thought. It told me, beyond words, that if I wanted to, I could rest. That it would, HE would take care of everything." She turned her gaze outward again, and stared at Dilandau, "I can think of nothing else but that that was Dilandau, or the makings of him, taking pity on me and letting me sleep."
I… I can't remember that… Thought Dilandau. But as he heard it, it seemed so very right. Right, but also amiss. He could not see his old self doing that, the idea didn't mesh with what he knew about himself. But he looked at Celena, looked deeply into his mother's eyes, and it was true, and he knew it was, beyond any doubt.
Zongi seemed stunned by this news as well, captivated. It was with a heartfelt reluctance in his voice that he said, "No further questions, your honor."
As Zongi sat, Dilandau continued to stare at his mother. She smiled gently, asking him what he was so surprised about.
In Dilandau's peripheral vision, Folken rose, large and menacing, and stood in front of Celena, obscuring Dilandau's view of her.
Celena did not back down, merely stood up straight and proud and stared directly into the maroon eyes of the prosecuting attorney, defiant.
Folken smirked, but for a moment Celena thought it was something different. Could that have been a nostalgic smile on his face? Of course she remembered him, but only very hazily. He had arrived at almost the same time she had, she had seen him fairly often on her trips around the madoushi's compound with Jajuka. But at that time, he had always looked mournful and lonely.
She vaguely remembered speaking to him only once, flinching away from his metallic arm as it reached menacingly down towards her head. At the time she had misunderstood the gesture, an unfortunate attempt to gently pat her head. He wasn't quite used to his arm at that time, which she understood now. She still remembered the wounded look in his eyes when she ran back to Jajuka and hid behind his legs, and she understood it a lot better now that age had separated her from her fear at that time.
But his eyes were hard and cold now, harder even than she had seen through Dilandau's eyes. He turned them on her, "You say you knew Dilandau Albatou better than anyone?" he asked her brusquely.
"Yes." she said, wary.
"You said that his motives were usually based on fear, did you not?"
"I did."
"Since when," and his voice was poison now, nothing like anything she remembered hearing from him before, "does fear cause one to run headlong into dangerous situations?"
Celena knew that Folken was too smart not to know the answer to that question, but she provided it anyway, "When one is not afraid of death or pain. When the thing that a person is afraid of runs deeper than that."
"What, pray tell, was Dilandau Albatou afraid of?" Folken asked contemptuously.
"He was… is.. afraid of being left alone with his thoughts, alone with his guilt. Alone…" she said this last part delicately, fearfully, "…with his self hatred."
A sneer, "The Dilandau I knew did not hate himself."
"The Dilandau you knew was even more afraid of being found to be flawed than anything else. A fear not related to the soul, but one learned from personal experience." Celena said calmly.
Folken whirled, his black robes flaring, "You expect us to believe that all the terrible things that Dilandau had done were not his fault after all?" he said, doubtful contempt audible in his voice.
"No." Celena said simply, "I just wish for you…" and she wasn't talking to Folken or the courtroom at large, she was only speaking to Dilandau, her voice filled with love, admiration, "…to understand that forgiveness comes easily to those who ask for it."
Folken shut his eyes, "No further questions." he said resignedly.
Dilandau heard the truth in Celena's voice, and he wanted to ask her if he deserved forgiveness.
The love in her face told him what her answer would be.
He turned away, telling her that if he could not forgive himself, no one could. And telling her in no uncertain terms that he could not forgive himself.
Her sadness was the only answer, and it made Dilandau choke with tears at the intensity of it. But underneath it all was a resignation. She was telling him that it was his choice after all, but that she hoped he would make the right one.
Through his tears, he looked at Zongi, a question in his eyes.
Zongi tilted his head, uncomprehending.
"I mean…" Dilandau said, "Who will the next witness be?"
Zongi merely smiled secretively and shook his head, rising to his feet to call the witness.
Author's note: (huggles this chapter) I like this one best of all so far, and I hope you do too! I never realized how much I missed writing Dilandau interacting with Celena. ;_; AW!! I also put in a cute little Folken moment!! (loves Folken, even though he's a jerk in her story) Also, I got the Esca box set!! HUZZAH! Watching it again!! XD XD XD XD Anyhow, I left the next witness a secret, more because both I and Zongi know who it was GOING to be. Unfortunately, someone else decided they wanted to be a witness. But you're going to have to wait to find out who it'll be. Unless you're Etowato, who squeezed the secret outta me. (shakes fist at Etowato) Don't worry, I'm in a groove, so I'm already starting on the next chapter today! MUAHAHAHA!!! Even with an extra chapter added (which brings our possible total to around 20-21) I'll get this done before school!!! If it kills me!! _!!
Reviews!!! If it kills me!! _!!
Eboni: I picture Allen's belly much like Captain Kirk's belly in The Original Star Trek. It's a bit paunchy, but only a bit. Yeah, I should have thought of making Dilandau get all angry.. But the thing is, both Celena's and Allen's testimonies say that the reason Dilandau is behaving not like his old self is because he fears and hates his old self. He remembers what it was like to be like him and he remembers how horrible it was. He's trying to keep all traces of that Dilandau out of his demeanor, which really isn't healthy, because that's a big part of who he is. Yep, he's a basket case. ^_^ But we love 'em.
Feye Morgan: Yes, the worst thing about the passage of years. Aging. Allen's hairdo looks like Amano's now! Or at the very least like Young Bandit Allen. Hehehe. Well, they're still the same characters, just older, wiser, and grayer. With more wrinkles. ^-^ Yeah. Folken seems to be losing his touch, or at the very least, these witnesses are too good for him to make much mess of.
Etowato: Don't worry, as you know now, Van is still with a poofy head, although it has streaks of gray. And as for witness talk… (shakes fist!!) Dilandau's family is creepily supportive, almost like mine. I think it's cuz they're the good guys. O_o;; Well, whatever you wanna say about that chapter, this one's even better! Ten hundred times better!!! WHOO!!
BlueAloe: Yep, Allen Crusade Schezar. In the shonen manga, his name's Allen Crusade Schezar VIII… (shrugs) It's not a very good comic. Dilly-sama's all weird lookin. o_O;; Yeah, I loved the smoldering eyes idea, that's why I gave the chapter that title… Yeah, Allen cut his hair. Gaddess made fun of him because the bottom was all gold and the top part was getting white. Heheh. Yeah, that point doesn't make much sense… It's just Folken trying to make the witnesses sound stupid, which is his job. (luvvies him) Yeah, I made him a jerk, but in canon, he's so cool! Ok, if you guys say so, the last chapter was OK. But now I have to work on the next one! (hurries off)