The cheers were loud and raucous, filling the courtroom further with life than it had ever been, they brightened it and made it louder, more real somehow. Dilandau couldn't understand, couldn't make any sense of what he saw. His mother came and wrapped her arms around him, he could feel Zongi's cold grip on his hand, Ravi was crushing his other hand, and he felt Uncle Allen at his side, ruffling his hair even though he had told him a hundred times that he hated that but still… The moment's snapshot was like a picture gone somehow wrong in a way that was only identifiable at the second look.
At the announcement of the verdict of 'Not Guilty', Dilandau's senses had been overwhelmed by the joy all around him. When he finally opened his eyes, he was almost paralyzed with shock and a certain perverse doubt.
There in their corner they were jumping around. Laughing, tears running from their eyes, hugging each other in an ecstasy of joy. Just like when he had told them they'd been chosen, just like the boys they really were.
His Dragonslayers were cheering.
Behind light words that tease and flout,
But oh, the agitated heart
Till someone really find us out.
'Tis pity if the case require
(Or so we say) that in the end
We speak the literal to inspire
The understanding of a friend.
But so with all, from babes that play
At hide-and-seek to God afar,
So all who hide too well away
Must speak and tell us where they are.
Robert Frost- "Revelation"
They were cheering, tears in their eyes, jubilant and as happy as if they had won instead of lost, and all Dilandau could do was stare. Even through his almost overwhelming joy he could do nothing but stare at this exercise in contradictions that unfolded itself before his very eyes.
After a moment, the crowd around him noticed his distraction and turned to follow his gaze. The movement around him slowed. Perhaps their shock was not as acute as his, but they still quieted, disengaging themselves from him.
The strange oasis of calm and silence drew the attention of the Dragonslayers, and they paused in their celebration. They turned to Dilandau and the look that he saw on their faces was all too familiar. It was a mix of fear and admiration, terror and respect, the look they always gave him when they knew they'd done something wrong. When they knew HE knew they'd done something wrong. Speechless, he took a jerky step forward, shedding his happy entourage.
The boys continued to look at him guiltily, as if afraid he would begin raining blows on them any second, but Dilandau was scarcely thinking about that, "Wh-…" he started meekly, "Why?" he asked.
The closest to him was Gatty. He ducked his head lightly, "We're sorry, sir." he said, his eyes still filled with a lingering fear.
Dilandau could find no more words. Had they just been playing with him this entire time? "You think I'm a fool?" he asked through gritted teeth.
The boys perked up immediately at this shadow of his former self.
"No, sir." Gatty said nervously.
Dilandau narrowed his eyes and let fly, his arm whipping around almost faster than he could think about it. It felt very good to allow his impulse to rule him like that…
But it didn't pay off. Before the blow hit the flinching Gatty, there was a shifting in the fabric of the world around him and suddenly the room's occupants vanished, leaving the room dark and dusky, as if it had never been occupied at all. Only Dilandau and the others from his world remained. On cue, tiny blue-white flames wreathed the room and a mist rose like a curtain.
Dilandau felt the presence of Them coalesce about him like a suffocating cloud. He didn't turn to look at his friends and family, he merely held up a hand, "You should all go." he said.
"But Dilandau!" Celena said, a panic in her voice.
Dilandau turned to give her a cracked smile, "This is something I have to deal with on my own, dear mother."
"How do we go…?" Ravi said nervously, "I mean, not that I want to leave you alone, Dil, but…" and he trailed off.
Dilandau chuckled.
Zongi stood up, "I'll let you go." he said, casting his eye on Dilandau as if to say 'Are you sure about this?'
"I'm sure." Dilandau said aloud, "I need to do this."
"You might not like what you find…" Zongi said, reticent.
Dilandau gritted his teeth, "But I still have to look…" he said, trying to steel himself.
Zongi nodded finally, giving in. There was silence as he herded Dilandau's friends and family into the gathering mist. The mist enveloped them and they were gone.
Dilandau searched for any signs of them in the mist, swallowed hard, and called out into the darkness, "Come for me, then! I'm not going to be afraid of you anymore!"
The figures rose, towering tall, black cowls obscuring their features, and Dilandau's fear rose along with them. He tamped it down as they approached through the mist and stood in silence a distance away from him. Abruptly he felt sadness, choking and deep, oppressing him from the outer darkness.
One of the figures stepped forward, Shy, and breathed in a tone that was strangely familiar, "Forgive us."
Dilandau gasped slightly in surprise and pain and then sneered, hate in his voice as he said, "Never."
Quiet acceptance paralleled the sadness in the darkened room, and there were heavy sighs, "We had thought that it would be thus." the pain was evident in the voice. The figures glided backwards, melding with the mist.
"Wait!" called Dilandau, almost unsure why he was calling out. The sadness he felt was genuine, though it opposed all reason. He wanted to know more, he wanted to know WHY this had been done to him.
The madoushi paused.
Dilandau shivered at the anticipation he felt in the air, "Who are you?" he said.
Once again, Shy stepped forward, though he didn't answer Dilandau's question. He breathed with renewed emotion, "We tried to think of another way…" he said, his voice quickening, "We knew that there was no way we could help you, like this…"
"…become a crutch, again." muttered the deep voice of Last.
"We couldn't stand it… Seeing you the way you were. Hating yourself…" True's voice was silvery, soft, "…when we loved you so much."
"As a creation." Dilandau spat.
"As…" but Care couldn't finish it, "We never meant to hurt you, understand that. Please understand that."
Gaze nodded, a heavy nod, "I knew that the only way to help you change would be to become the strongest force opposing the change." he said, "To become your enemy."
"You've always been my enemies." Dilandau said coldly, unable to understand exactly what these creatures meant.
"Not…" Shy's voice was delicate, "…always."
The silence drew itself on into the darkness until Dilandau couldn't stand it any longer, "Who are you!?"
"You truly wish to know?" Shy said, a sharp fear in evidence in his voice.
"YES!" shouted Dilandau. All in a flash, he realized that at their approach they had dwindled. They'd become smaller, less imposing. There was only one now that was taller than he.
And Shy reached for the top of his cowl, pulling it back, revealing his face. Blue eyes gazed into wide, shocked crimson.
Dilandau couldn't comprehend the sight he saw, "Sh-shesta…" his voice was numb, he breathed it the same as he had on the bridge in the hangar of the Vione, mourning their deaths.
Shesta lowered his eyes and they filled with tears, "Forgive us." he said, his voice pregnant with a desperate sadness, "It was the only way."
All around him, he saw the cowls lifting, the fearful shadows receding from the bodies and faces of the figures around him. Gaze lifted his cowl to reveal Miguel, True's mournful eyes peeked out from under his, it fell away and he was Gatty, the lean muzzle and noble eyes of Jajuka were exposed as the hood of Last fell away, Care glided forward and he was Dallet.
He felt his legs weakening, felt himself begin to drop, and then felt those hands that had kept him from the dark circle when Miguel had testified, felt them hold him fast, strong, warm, soft.
And then all of a sudden they were talking at once, "…Oh Lord Dilandau, we're sorry, we thought…" "It was a way to repay the debt…The only way" "The only way!" "They were lies, all lies!" "It hurt us to tell them to you, sir!" "All except Miguel…" a sly voice said, "NO! It hurt me worst of all, worst of all…" pain was evident.
They flew before Dilandau's eyes, all concerned, all desperate, all convinced that he hated them forever. They lowered him to the ground, and he opened his mouth.
Their eyes were so desperate to hear his words that it was painful.
He choked, the first few words had no voice in them, but they were yet audible, they were yet true, "I had wondered… why it felt so warm," he said, "when everything within the dream was cold." he couldn't save himself from the embarrassment, his eyes filled with tears, and they spilled down his face, silent and hot.
"Lord Dilandau!" They called, and not in unison, just as jumbled and confused and happy and sad as it was when they lived.
But Dilandau was still not satisfied, "H-How?" he asked, amazed.
There was a general shuffling, and Miguel came to the forefront, "We…" he paused, awkward, "After death, the powers that be… There's one chance, you see, to affect the life of someone you cared about in life. It's usually something small, a nudge in the right direction if you will. Sometimes the results can be great, but that opportunity has to present itself. For us…" he looked at the others, "There was only one person we cared about in life, and it was you."
"We had almost given you up for lost." Shesta said forlornly, "We knew your soul was there, but it was trapped, for all appearances."
"There were a few times, even." Dallet started quickly, "When we thought that we would free it, just so you could come to us…" he looked away nervously.
"But that would have been a grave error." Jajuka said in his deep voice, "With my faith in your mother, in the heart of Celena, I convinced them of that."
"The day you were born…" Gatty said with a jaunty grin, "We celebrated."
"We watched you grow." Miguel said, "And we saved it."
"There were countless times we could have done something to make your life more perfect, more beautiful." Dallet said.
Shesta nodded at Dallet, "Sure, and some of the others took that road. You owe part of meeting your friend Ravi to Viole." he informed Dilandau eagerly.
"But we five saved our chances, watching, and finally we saw the one flaw that could bring you to… a dire end." Dallet was sad.
"And it was more poignant for us." Gatty said, "Because we were at the source of it."
"That self-hatred…" muttered Dilandau weakly.
"Right." Miguel said, "And we pooled our energies, pooled our wills. Asked favors…"
"Favors?" Dilandau said.
"Yes." came the deep voice of Folken, "They asked. I came." he smiled softly, "It was a chance I could not give up, the chance to speak to my brother one last time. That was the lure, even if it was a tiny chance. And I knew it would do me good to see you helped…" Folken added, no trace of abashment on his face.
"I as well…" Zongi said, melting from the darkness, "Asked by the most unlikely of people, my last victim."
Dilandau swallowed, "But how.. Why?" he asked Miguel.
Miguel shrugged, "After death, prejudices vanish. There's very little to fight about when there's no more war. And we've had many years to think about what we've done. Many years to forgive."
"I came for a chance to see what you'd become, see what I liked about it. Give you a chance." Zongi said, and then smiled, "You impressed me." he said.
"So then… The jury, the judge?"
"Some volunteered when they heard of it, some were asked." Shesta said, "There's no shortage of people interested in you here."
Dilandau let the impact of all he had just heard sink in, and he was finally able to sit up under his own power. He shook again with sobs, "I'm…." he buried his head in his hands, "I'm happy." he said, "That you all still cared about me."
"Then…" Shy was desperate again, "Then the terrible things we said about you?"
"We never meant them!" Miguel said.
"I… I forgive you." Dilandau said, his face shining with happiness.
"Thank you…" They all breathed, haphazard and joyous and with sighs of relief. They took his hands, and helped him up, and glowed.
Moments ago, Dilandau had been strong, confident and ready to face his enemies head on, and break them as they had broken him. But now he found that vengeance paled in comparison to this warm, perfect forgiveness, this perfect happiness. He had realized that which he had envied in Folken and Van. He finally felt closure and he felt it to the deepest part of his soul.
"Lord Dilandau…" Gatty said, "We want you to be happy. We don't care what you think you did. We just want you to be happy."
"You've got a great future… out there." Shesta said with a shy smile, "We can't bear to hold you back."
Dilandau smiled a quick, easy smile, the ease at which he put it on almost disarming him, "Part of me wishes I could stay here with you." he said with a sad chuckle.
The immediate sadness, sympathy, and longing that was expressed in the Dragonslayers eyes showed him rather than told him that they wished that as well.
"But see…" Dallet said, pointing into the mist where a light was welling up, "The day's coming… And after that…" he choked.
Gatty filled in, "This is the last that you'll see us." he said, his voice a close semblance of solemnity.
"Can't I stay a bit longer…?" Dilandau said, a shrill sadness creeping into his voice.
"If you did, there's no telling what could happen…" Jajuka rumbled.
Shesta nodded, "You already know that your body isn't here. What is here is your soul. It takes a terrible toll on your body to have your soul separated from it."
"You might have noticed that…" Dallet said softly.
"So…" Dilandau choked, "This is the last I'll see all of you?"
There was a round of sad nods. Dilandau rushed forward, and embraced them all, shedding tears in their hair, feeling them. And then, he felt himself being drawn away by the waking world.
He heard their voices as the atmosphere of them, his friends, faded into his room and his bed.
"We'll keep watching you…"
"We're waiting for you…"
"But take your time, all right?" a chuckle.
"We love you…"
"Don't forget us…"
Dilandau muttered, "I won't…" with a sleepy smile on his face. He opened his eyes onto a new day.
Author's note: Super cheesy ending? ^_^ I had a great time fooling you all. (well, I hope I fooled some of you at least) Did anyone guess? But anyway. This whole idea was spawned from a fic idea I had that I wanted to write from the DS's position, where they were responsible for Dilandau's rebirth. I decided to throw that idea out, and when I got the idea for a Law fanfiction, in which Dilandau has a trial in which they try to condemn him for what he did in his former life. Then it just sorta… turned into this. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. I think there'll be one more chapter. A sort of epilogue if you will. And I do have a little diatribe author's note thing, which I'll post after this. If you have any questions, by all means ask me.. You can post it in a review or email me at DragonGirl17@AOL.com. I'll answer it, I promise. And I recommend, if you have the time, that you reread all the old chapters.. Just to see my subtle clues. ^_^ And maybe… leave some nice anonymous reviews??
Feye Morgan: OK, so my writing is awesome. I did like this chapter a lot better. So you didn't try to guess then? I hope not! Nope, Folken not controlled, as you see in this chapter. Yeah. I thought Folken and Van deserved something and then it started to make sense in the story so woo! I think, in fact, the trial saved Dilandau's life. Swept away the inner loathing that would have held him back later on. Maybe...uh uh. I'm not going to guess. Nope. Ignore me. You came perilously close to guessing!! Shame! ^_^ And like I said, I picked that poem YEARS before I finished the chapter. This one as well. And the next one. Tell me what you think about this title, though. I'm not sure it's altogether what I want. You should read more Robert Frost. Everyone should. Tell me what you thought, though!!! I need feedback! Make it long!
Etowato: You ought to know by now that I'm too impatient to WAIT!! It would be nice to let people catch up… But… Anyway, tell all your friends!! I usually don't try to drum up reviews, but I want to see how well I did on my first twist ending! I'm glad you liked that chapter, I try to make it believable, but I rushed the last few chapters. Maybe someday I'll do a round update of all of them. Get it fixed. ^_^ But tell me what you think, I value your opinion as my friend and one of my staunch reviewers!
Eboni: Zongi's not really the one who's in charge of the witnesses, bwahahaa… Dilandau was quite entertaining. And I didn't laugh at Folken's demise! I was sad! I knew it would happen, but I was still sad! It was rather ironic, though… Nyahh!! Closing statements! Graahhh. I knew I forgot something. I wanted Dilandau to do his own closing statements, but oh well. It was pointless since he already testified. Besides, he probably wouldn't have been very convincing, seeing as how he thought he was guilty and all… I didn't think you forgot! Ok, so I did. But I thought it was more likely that you were at school. So there.
BlueAloe: I didn't get your review for Chapter 18 yet, but I want to publish this! ;_; Sorry! Yeah, Folken and Dilandau interaction was also really interesting in the show. If you watch it in the original Japanese, Dilandau's always using the perfect humble words, saying everything really politely, but he says it with such a tone of voice that you know it's sarcasm. Yes, Dilandau's scared. And he hates it. He doesn't want to be weak. He overcomes his fear in that chapter. YAY! So tell me what you thought about this chapter!!