Taking Revenge Can Be Hard
Our two revenge-seeking friends left for Rohan early the next day. "So what do you have planned for Aragorn" asked Legolas. "You'll see" said Haldir hopping on his pony. "Blast! I hate being short!" Haldir yelled missing the pony's back by a mile. "Here" said Legolas as he lifted Haldir onto the pony. The two galloped away, and made it back to Edoras in fifteen days. "Hey! Where is everybody?" said Haldir puzzled. "We were supposed to tell the king about something, but I forget what" Legolas said. "Shoot! Where could those filthy animals be!" yelled Haldir. "Just because I didn't take a bath for eight days doesn't mean you have to tease me!" said Legolas angrily. Haldir slowly inched away from him. "I was talking about Aragorn, Gimli, and Gandalf" said Haldir. "Oh yeah! Now I remember! They're headed for Helms Deep" said Legolas as if remembering something that happened ages ago. "Thank you" Haldir said as he galloped toward Helms Deep. "Hey! Wait for meeeeee!" Legolas screamed, and followed closely behind. They came to Helms Deep to see an army of Lothlorian elves marching up to the wall. Haldir jumped off his pony, and strode in front of them forgetting that he was a hobbit. The army halted confused. Haldir stepped toward Theoden boastfully. "An alliance once existed between elves, and men. Long ago we fought, and died together. We come to honor that allegiance" finished Haldir. He had been planning that speech for months, and was proud that he hadn't messed up. "But you're a hobbit!" cried Theoden. "Shut up you fool!" yelled Haldir running into the fortress. "What a strange little creature" said Orophin to Rumil. "That voice sounded so familiar, but it was probably the cake" Rumil thought, clutching his stomach. Suddenly Celeborn jumped out from behind the army. "SURPRISE!!! Happy birthday!" he yelled. Orophin smacked him in the head. "He's been doing this ever since Haldir was taken" said Rumil embarrassed to Theoden. Legolas snuck into the fortress when no one was looking, and found Haldir. "So what do you have planned" Legolas whispered into Haldir's ear. Haldir grinned evily, and held up Aragorn's quiver. "What's that for?" asked Legolas. Haldir pulled out a toy sword, and suction cup arrows. "Umm Haldir? Aragorn isn't here" said Legolas. "What do you mean not here!" yelled Haldir. "Well I just got word that he's dead" Legolas said solemnly. "That piece of scum! He didn't even come to my birthday party, and now I can't take revenge on him!" screamed Haldir. "I know where he fell, so lets go!" Both hopped onto their ponys, and galloped toward the valley where the wargs came. "I found his necklace! He must've fallen over the cliff " said Legolas picking up evenstar. "Well don't just stand there!" Haldir yelled throwing off his shirt, and jumping off of the cliff. "That is one brave hobbit" Legolas said to himself before jumping off after him. They drifted down the river until they saw a heap of clothing on a small bank. They climbed onto the shore, and found that it was a battle worn Aragorn. "Breathe you freak! I must take my revenge on you!" Haldir yelled pushing on his stomach. "Hey he ruined our gift!" Haldir said picking up a tattered Lothlorian cloak. "I don't think it was his fault. I mean he fell off of a cliff into a river" said Legolas trying to calm Haldir down. "He doesn't deserve help!" Haldir screamed. "Fine I'll do it, " said Legolas pushing on Aragorn's stomach. Aragorn made a funny gurgling noise, and spit out some water. "What are you doing here Leggy- poo" asked Aragorn groggily. "Leggy-poo?!" Legolas asked angrily. "Leggy- poo! Ha ha that's good!" laughed Haldir, and started rolling on the ground in laughter. "You are needed at Helms Deep" said Legolas helping Aragorn sit up, ignoring the laughing, rolling Haldir. "Come with me" said Aragorn romantically grabbing Legolas' hand. "Are you feeling ok Aragorn?" Legolas asked. "Of course lov-I mean Legolas" Aragorn said. "Lets just go" said Legolas climbing up the bank. "Coming Leggy-poo!" shouted Haldir sniggering. "Yes we're coming darling" said Aragorn getting up. "Did you just call him darling?" asked Haldir holding back a burst of laughter. "I didn't get your name yet master hobbit. What is it?" Aragorn asked trying to switch the subject. "Haldir is my name" said Haldir. "There was this guy in Lorien that had the same name!" Aragorn said excitedly. "The dwarf breathes so loud we could've shot him in the dark" Haldir recited to Aragorn. "Haldir? Is that you?" asked Aragorn. "Yes it's me, but it's a long story of why I'm a hobbit" Haldir said trying to sound impressive. "Leggy-poo can I have a kiss?" asked Aragorn leaning towards Legolas. "Auta miqula orqu (go kiss an orc) " said Legolas angrily. "Wow that was harsh" Haldir sniggered. "Amin feuya ten' lle (you disgust me)" said Legolas angrily. He was moody for the rest of the trip. When they reached Helms Deep Haldir found 'his' elves, and started ordering them around. They still didn't know who he was so there was mass confusion. "You! Stand over there" Haldir ordered a young elf. The elf walked over, but another elf smashed into him, and there was a chain reaction. "Dominoes!" yelled Haldir clapping his hands. Very soon after it was getting dark, and Haldir prepared to take revernge. He crept over to Aragorn's pile of weapons, armor, and such. Legolas realized what he was doing, and went over to help. They switched his sword for a toy one, took all of his arrows, and switched them with suction cup ones. "Woah! This sword is heavy" said Haldir dragging Audril. "You call these arrows? More like cheese." Said Legolas laughing at Aragorn's cheap arrows. Celeborn jumped out from behind a pile of armor. "CHEESE!" he screamed, and ran away laughing like a girl. When the Uruk hai came a stupid human made the first shot. It killed an orc in the front line, angering the others. "So it begins" said Theoden in a separate room as his stories started on the TV. "Wait! My lord Middle Earth doesn't have TVs" said Hama at his side. "Oh! My soaps" Hama said sitting next to Theoden. Outside the battle was raging. Aragorn jumped off of the wall, and onto a rock. "Behold! Narsil the sword that was broken, and reforged!" he screamed drawing out the plastic sword. "Aw crap!" he yelled, and started climbing back up the wall. "That was even better than expected!" laughed Haldir. "He didn't even know!" Legolas chortled. "Next stop is Frodo Baggins" said Haldir evilly rubbing his hands together. He threw his head back "BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *hack cough*" he falls on the ground choking.
Our two revenge-seeking friends left for Rohan early the next day. "So what do you have planned for Aragorn" asked Legolas. "You'll see" said Haldir hopping on his pony. "Blast! I hate being short!" Haldir yelled missing the pony's back by a mile. "Here" said Legolas as he lifted Haldir onto the pony. The two galloped away, and made it back to Edoras in fifteen days. "Hey! Where is everybody?" said Haldir puzzled. "We were supposed to tell the king about something, but I forget what" Legolas said. "Shoot! Where could those filthy animals be!" yelled Haldir. "Just because I didn't take a bath for eight days doesn't mean you have to tease me!" said Legolas angrily. Haldir slowly inched away from him. "I was talking about Aragorn, Gimli, and Gandalf" said Haldir. "Oh yeah! Now I remember! They're headed for Helms Deep" said Legolas as if remembering something that happened ages ago. "Thank you" Haldir said as he galloped toward Helms Deep. "Hey! Wait for meeeeee!" Legolas screamed, and followed closely behind. They came to Helms Deep to see an army of Lothlorian elves marching up to the wall. Haldir jumped off his pony, and strode in front of them forgetting that he was a hobbit. The army halted confused. Haldir stepped toward Theoden boastfully. "An alliance once existed between elves, and men. Long ago we fought, and died together. We come to honor that allegiance" finished Haldir. He had been planning that speech for months, and was proud that he hadn't messed up. "But you're a hobbit!" cried Theoden. "Shut up you fool!" yelled Haldir running into the fortress. "What a strange little creature" said Orophin to Rumil. "That voice sounded so familiar, but it was probably the cake" Rumil thought, clutching his stomach. Suddenly Celeborn jumped out from behind the army. "SURPRISE!!! Happy birthday!" he yelled. Orophin smacked him in the head. "He's been doing this ever since Haldir was taken" said Rumil embarrassed to Theoden. Legolas snuck into the fortress when no one was looking, and found Haldir. "So what do you have planned" Legolas whispered into Haldir's ear. Haldir grinned evily, and held up Aragorn's quiver. "What's that for?" asked Legolas. Haldir pulled out a toy sword, and suction cup arrows. "Umm Haldir? Aragorn isn't here" said Legolas. "What do you mean not here!" yelled Haldir. "Well I just got word that he's dead" Legolas said solemnly. "That piece of scum! He didn't even come to my birthday party, and now I can't take revenge on him!" screamed Haldir. "I know where he fell, so lets go!" Both hopped onto their ponys, and galloped toward the valley where the wargs came. "I found his necklace! He must've fallen over the cliff " said Legolas picking up evenstar. "Well don't just stand there!" Haldir yelled throwing off his shirt, and jumping off of the cliff. "That is one brave hobbit" Legolas said to himself before jumping off after him. They drifted down the river until they saw a heap of clothing on a small bank. They climbed onto the shore, and found that it was a battle worn Aragorn. "Breathe you freak! I must take my revenge on you!" Haldir yelled pushing on his stomach. "Hey he ruined our gift!" Haldir said picking up a tattered Lothlorian cloak. "I don't think it was his fault. I mean he fell off of a cliff into a river" said Legolas trying to calm Haldir down. "He doesn't deserve help!" Haldir screamed. "Fine I'll do it, " said Legolas pushing on Aragorn's stomach. Aragorn made a funny gurgling noise, and spit out some water. "What are you doing here Leggy- poo" asked Aragorn groggily. "Leggy-poo?!" Legolas asked angrily. "Leggy- poo! Ha ha that's good!" laughed Haldir, and started rolling on the ground in laughter. "You are needed at Helms Deep" said Legolas helping Aragorn sit up, ignoring the laughing, rolling Haldir. "Come with me" said Aragorn romantically grabbing Legolas' hand. "Are you feeling ok Aragorn?" Legolas asked. "Of course lov-I mean Legolas" Aragorn said. "Lets just go" said Legolas climbing up the bank. "Coming Leggy-poo!" shouted Haldir sniggering. "Yes we're coming darling" said Aragorn getting up. "Did you just call him darling?" asked Haldir holding back a burst of laughter. "I didn't get your name yet master hobbit. What is it?" Aragorn asked trying to switch the subject. "Haldir is my name" said Haldir. "There was this guy in Lorien that had the same name!" Aragorn said excitedly. "The dwarf breathes so loud we could've shot him in the dark" Haldir recited to Aragorn. "Haldir? Is that you?" asked Aragorn. "Yes it's me, but it's a long story of why I'm a hobbit" Haldir said trying to sound impressive. "Leggy-poo can I have a kiss?" asked Aragorn leaning towards Legolas. "Auta miqula orqu (go kiss an orc) " said Legolas angrily. "Wow that was harsh" Haldir sniggered. "Amin feuya ten' lle (you disgust me)" said Legolas angrily. He was moody for the rest of the trip. When they reached Helms Deep Haldir found 'his' elves, and started ordering them around. They still didn't know who he was so there was mass confusion. "You! Stand over there" Haldir ordered a young elf. The elf walked over, but another elf smashed into him, and there was a chain reaction. "Dominoes!" yelled Haldir clapping his hands. Very soon after it was getting dark, and Haldir prepared to take revernge. He crept over to Aragorn's pile of weapons, armor, and such. Legolas realized what he was doing, and went over to help. They switched his sword for a toy one, took all of his arrows, and switched them with suction cup ones. "Woah! This sword is heavy" said Haldir dragging Audril. "You call these arrows? More like cheese." Said Legolas laughing at Aragorn's cheap arrows. Celeborn jumped out from behind a pile of armor. "CHEESE!" he screamed, and ran away laughing like a girl. When the Uruk hai came a stupid human made the first shot. It killed an orc in the front line, angering the others. "So it begins" said Theoden in a separate room as his stories started on the TV. "Wait! My lord Middle Earth doesn't have TVs" said Hama at his side. "Oh! My soaps" Hama said sitting next to Theoden. Outside the battle was raging. Aragorn jumped off of the wall, and onto a rock. "Behold! Narsil the sword that was broken, and reforged!" he screamed drawing out the plastic sword. "Aw crap!" he yelled, and started climbing back up the wall. "That was even better than expected!" laughed Haldir. "He didn't even know!" Legolas chortled. "Next stop is Frodo Baggins" said Haldir evilly rubbing his hands together. He threw his head back "BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *hack cough*" he falls on the ground choking.