Till the End of His Days
Author: nacey
Email: tosh@opera.iinet.net.au
Category: Drama, Romance, AU
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All six books.
Summary: The story of Frodo's life after the journey of the Ring.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JRR Tolkien, and Tolkien Enterprises. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: This story is not properly edited. The final version may differ greatly from the one you are reading right now. This is just to air the idea and to see what others think of it, so I know whether to bother publishing it on the net or whether to keep it amongst my close friends. I very much thought that Lord of the Rings didn't need fan-fiction when I was reading it, until I read the ending. Then I saw the movies and it inspired me to write this little "Alternate-Universe" fic. I think that the ending that Tolkien did was absolutely perfect, and this is just my attempt at a different idea of what it could be like, mainly borne of my experience being amongst and being a person living with depression (I believe that poor Frodo had one of the most chronic cases of Post-Traumatic Stress that ever was). Constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms.
Website:
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Chapter Three - At the Green Dragon
Against the deep blue of the half-mooned sky, the Green Dragon's roof was square and stout, the building looking as if it had grown from the hillock it was built into like a rocky outcrop from ancient stone. From its round little windows burned the golden light of lamps and candles, and the strongest flickers licked out from the main entry, where inside there was the Grand Hearth. The Grand Hearth was reserved for the most respected of hobbit folk, and recently the likes of Pippin Took and Merry Brandybuck had been making themselves feel welcome there, much to the chagrin of both Frodo and Sam. They thought it a little audacious, considering they were all still rather young, and mostly older hobbits were given places of respect by this fire. Thankfully, the two younger hobbit's loitering of the Pride of Place was not a constant, particularly if Diamond of Long Cleeve and Estella Bolger were anywhere in the establishment. And they often were.
Tonight Sam and Frodo were alone as they walked up to the Green Dragon, as Rosie was still at home setting things right before she joined them. It was much like the days before the War of the Ring, and it filled them both with a familiar warmth that soothed them deeply.
"Looks like a busy night at the tavern, Mr. Frodo."
"Indeed, Sam," said Frodo, making his way up the path that led to the Green Dragon.
"I heard you had Miss Perry over again today."
Frodo sighed, closing his eyes a moment. "Yes, Sam. We happened to meet in the meadow near New Row."
"So Pippin was tellin' me, Sir." Sam nodded, and then tapped his lip. "Forgive me for sayin' so, Mr. Frodo, but perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing for you, befriending Miss Perry."
Frodo stopped, turning to Sam and frowning. "I don't know if I can take much more of this match-making Sam. I really thought all of you knew that I'm a bachelor because I choose to be, not because I cannot find a wife."
Sam covered his mouth for a moment, sensing his Master's annoyance and shook his head. "Oh no, no no, Master Frodo. I was just suggesting that perhaps letting her help you out around Bag End might serve you well."
"But Sam, I have you for that, don't I?" Frodo said, looking rather puzzled.
The shorter hobbit sighed, forehead wrinkling in a frown, his brows tilting up and guilt playing on his features.
"That's the thing, Mr. Frodo. I've felt torn in two like this before, and I know it can't be helped, but I swore before to always take care of you, and I'm going to make sure that there's always someone to tend on you, even if it tain't me, Sir." Samwise sighed, fiddling his fingers.
"Are you going to move out of Bag End, Sam?" Frodo asked, eyes wide and sad.
"Oh, no Sir, no, I wasn't planning to." Sam blushed brightly. "It's just Rosie… she's - well, she's with child, Mr. Frodo."
Frodo felt the world spin a little, and he found himself jumping, wrapping his arms around his best friend in absolute glee.
"Sam!" he cried, "Oh Samwise Gamgee! Why didn't you just say so?!"
Sam only blushed at that, smiling bashfully. "Oh Mr. Frodo, I want to be able to help you, you see, but with this little one coming I'm going to be spending a lot of time lookin' after it with Rosie, and with all the other work I've been doing fixing up the Shire…" He shrugged. "I jus' feel that you need more than I can give you."
Frodo sighed, folding his arms. "I guess I am extra trouble for you…"
"Not at all," said Sam. "I just want as what's best for you."
"I will have to discuss this with Miss Perry," said Frodo, the thought of having her help him out as she did that day perhaps a little appealing, "But it has been said that there is the matter of her … erm… " Frodo looked like he wanted to mention anything else other than what he was about to. "Feelings…"
"Oh," Sam blushed back at him and nodded. "Well, Mr. Frodo, I'm not likely the right one to discuss this particular topic with, beggin' your pardon, seeing as I've been married for some time now, and Rosie had more to do with the decision than I did, bless her boldness."
"Yes," said Frodo, not really listening, but thinking of poor Perry in his service whilst harbouring romantic feelings for him. He hadn't thought on it too much, indeed whenever he saw her he seemed to forget things like that and only felt to entertain her and treat her like any gentlehobbit should. Indeed she was a comely lass, as pretty as any in the Shire proclaimed, despite their recent fascination with the golden haired lasses. The very thought of her wasting her youth and loveliness on him seemed wrong, not that he was going to tell Sam that. He patted Sam on the shoulder fondly.
"Don't you worry about it, Sam," said Frodo. "I'll figure something out. Why don't you go inside and meet up with Pippin and Merry?"
"What are you going to do?"
Frodo gave a tired smile. "Think, my dear Sam."
"Right," said Sam. "Don't you think on it too long, or you shall disappear into yourself."
Frodo's smile grew easier and he gave Sam a push. "Go on."
Sam walked on up the steps to the door of the Inn, and Frodo turned, moving off the path and into the wild gardens that grew about the Green Dragon. Close to the path was a log perched on some specially hewn rocks to serve as a bench, and he sat on it carefully, pulling out his pipe and some weed to pack it with. A sigh was deep in his chest, and the more he thought on his situation, the more he realised how unfair it would be to take on Perry. No, he wouldn't do that, for the sweet girl deserved more than that. On coming to that decision he sat on the log for some time, for some reason feeling a sadness and a feeling of trouble had come upon him. He liked to have his thoughts all perfectly understood, and he greatly disliked having any part of his mind a mystery to himself. He wrestled with his thoughts, trying to make them clear, trying to see the situation that had become him as plainly as he thought it should have been.
No matter what thoughts he settled upon, his heart would burn sickly, and he felt ill in a way he'd never felt before. It wasn't an illness of the body, but the sort of sickness that made one wistful and melancholy. As he pondered, the high voice of hobbit-ladies began to grow close upon the path. He glanced over to the steps below, and there in the dim moonlight was the sweet brown-haired lass that Frodo knew as Diamond. He didn't really notice her too much next to her smaller companion. The familiar raven hair and deep brown eyes amongst the dusky skin had distracted him.
He'd never seen her dressed as this before, and of course he never would have, for he had only seen her during the day. She was dressed in her night-time finery, wearing a deep blue skirt like the night sky, and a firm black corset over a crisp white blouse that was worn about the shoulders. Her neckline was low, cleavage proud and her dark hair tumbling over her skin to bid her some modesty. As the girls trotted up the path, he completely missed that they had seen him on the bench beside it, and it wasn't till Perry repeated herself that he blinked and regained his wits.
"I said, are you all right Mr. Baggins?"
"Uh…" He swallowed. "Of course, Miss Perry."
She smiled, elegant little hands pressing down her skirt nervously. "Are you coming inside then?"
A crease of a frown settled between Frodo's brows. "I said to Sam that I would be in later…"
"Oh!" Diamond sighed. "Come now, Mr. Frodo. You can't be out here all on your own on such a lively evening! Up with you! Come on!" Diamond boldly stepped to him, pulling at his arms and tutting. Despite Frodo's little whimpers of complaint, she looked to him sternly. "We can't have the Deputy out here on his lonesome!"
So that settled that. Perry and Diamond escorted Frodo into the Green Dragon, and the chorus of cheer they received was heard all around the Hill and Bywater as they entered the establishment. It was a source of much amusement and impress that the Deputy Mayor had been brought in by two of the most eligible lasses in the Shire. Pippin nearly fell off his stool by the bar as he saw his cousin with Diamond on his arm. He seemed to completely miss the fact that Frodo was red to the tips of his ears and looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. Pip scrabbled to his seat once more, pulling Frodo aside as he came close.
"Now listen, cousin, let's be fair! You already have Perry Proudfoot desirin' your heart, give a poor fella a chance with Diamond at least!"
Frodo looked about himself helplessly and Diamond leaned in to Pippin from the other side of him, speaking flirtatiously.
"Why, are ye jealous?"
Pippin blushed wildly, turning away. "Not jealous as such…"
It was all very frustrating for poor Frodo. Usually he wasn't caught in the romantic crossfire of the young hobbits of the Shire, but tonight Merry and Pippin had him firmly stuck in the middle, making jokes and suggestions that he thoroughly wanted no part of. It was bad enough that the whole of the Shire would have some idea that he was a ladies man, and with the way Pippin and Merry were joking, he wouldn't be surprised if they thought that Perry Proudfoot was practically engaged to him. He glanced to Perry as the night wore on, and she didn't very much seem to find it all that amusing either. She would always turn crimson and look away, or frown pitifully into her mug of beer.
Slowly the night passed to the later hours, always famous for the songs that would be sung at this time. People were ready to sing, and their blood was on fire with ale and brandy. Voices roared together in chorus, the words telling stories of their proud past, their melodies speaking of a love of the land that few outside of the Shire knew or understood. Frodo became lost in the humble beauty of his people, of their innocence and passion. It never failed to move him after all that he had seen beyond the Shire.
"Perry!" cried out a rumbling male voice. "Sing us one of yer songs, Perry!"
Frodo looked to Perry, who smiled bashfully at the crowd around her and covered her mouth with quivering hands. The crowd wouldn't let up, and a few of the hobbits lifted her up onto a table with a great roar of support. He forgot that Perry had a propensity to sing little songs on such nights at the Green Dragon. She didn't have a particularly good voice; it was steady in key and often shaky from nerves, but it served her well. It had been described as sweet and homely, and a lot of things about Perry could be described as such. The real talent that lay within Perry was her knack at creating songs from her mind, lyrics of which were thought of as clever and sometimes moving. Upon the table she began to clap, hopping from foot to foot, blue skirt swinging delightfully.
"Beware folk big, upon the brig,
down by the Baranduin!
For soldiers there, so proud and fair,
Will likely throw you in!"
Perry threw her arms about as if ridding the room of a foe, and sent a foot kicking afterwards for effect. This sent the room into a roar of applause.
"They may seem small, but they walk tall!
In them great Kings did trust!
For where they ride, the huge beasts died,
With a quick, neat parry and thrust!"
Perry now pretended to sword-fight some invisible monster.
"When they returned, the Shire was burned,
They stopped the Men in their tracks.
With leader bold, they regained their hold,
And had those men by their backs!"
When she sung of the leader she met Frodo's eyes and sent him a wink.
"Let's bless the Thain, his speech so plain,
His son so strong and true!
And Brandybuck, well half his luck!
Was in the tussle too!
But never forget, through all that was set,
The Baggins stood by all.
The heart of our fight, in Bywater's sight,
Lives well in good Bag End."
The loud roaring and clapping that had dominated the room began to still during the last verse, and by its finish everyone gazed at Perry bewilderedly. Why was she singing about Frodo Baggins like this? They were expecting the song to be singing the great glory of Pippin and Merry, and suddenly the Deputy was brought into it for some strange reason. The silence was daunting, and Perry looked to Frodo, shrugging lightly. He looked about himself, his cheeks growing red. Suddenly, wild ecstatic clapping and cheering broke out from the bar, and everyone turned to see Pippin and Merry as the source.
"Oh, well sung, Perry!" cried Merry.
"Up the Baggins!" cried Pippin.
Slowly, and very reluctantly, the room clapped for Perry, nodding slowly and doing so only to placate their favoured heroes. Frodo saw nobody really wanted to help Perry down from her place, or wanted to hear any more of her songs, so he walked over, offering her his hands and arms to help her down. She placed her hands on his shoulders, and he lowered her down from her perch, giving her a weary yet affectionate look.
"You're asking for a shunning," said Frodo, shaking his head at her.
Perry shrugged, looking rather unconcerned by this. She was suddenly set upon by Diamond and Estella, the two hobbit-lasses dragging her off to the bar and twittering in her ear excitedly. Frodo smiled, winding his way over to Pippin and Merry, noticing the puzzled looks that were sent his way from the rest of the older hobbits about him. He sent a thankful look to his cousins as he reached the bar, shaking his head.
"Thank you for that," he said, "I would have hated to see Perry get any worse a reception for her song than she got."
"I thought it was a good song," said Pippin, very seriously. "Especially that bit about blessing the Thain."
"I liked the line about Brandybuck myself," said Merry.
Frodo shook his head, having a sip of ale and sighing. The night went on much like this, and as it came time for everyone to leave, he found that his friends and cousins had strangely disappeared, and Perry was alone by the door looking rather confused. He came over to her.
"Hullo, Perry. Where did Diamond and Estella disappear off to?"
She shrugged. "They said something about doing the washing and ran off with Pippin and Merry."
Frodo sighed, nodding to himself. "Yes, that would be about right. Come on then, I'll take you home."
"Oh, no, you don't have to-"
"It would be my pleasure, Perry," he insisted.
His heart thumped strangely as they walked down the path alone. Perry seemed a little quiet, and considering her nervous talkative nature, that was saying something. He tried to relax, to take the stress out of the situation. It wasn't in the nature of most ladies to assert themselves in the ways of courting, though lately Diamond and Rosie were challenging that ages long standard, much to Frodo's own distress (for nothing bothered him more than hurting the feelings of well meaning ladies). Perry, however, was not like them, was far more sensible and restrained, and so he felt a little security knowing that he was in some control. He smiled to her as they walked down the path, patting her hand that was linked around his elbow.
"I liked your song, Perry. You're very good at those, you know."
Perry smiled bashfully and played with a tress of her hair as she looked away, running the end of it over her lips. "I've done it since I was a lass an' learnt my letters, Mr. Baggins."
"Well, I'm sure dear old Bilbo would have been impressed. The next time I see him I should take some of your songs with me and show him."
Perry's eyes gleamed as she looked to Frodo. "Would you do that? Would you really?!"
"Of course," said Frodo. "I shall write down the one you sang tonight, and put it with the other songs I collected during my journeys."
The lass ducked her head humbly, her quietness taking her again. Frodo thought that he should ask her what the matter was, as it was obvious to him that something was troubling her. He knew that she might bring up the rather tender subject of marriage or courting, but a part of him felt willing to risk that anyway if it meant she could talk about any other problem that might be bothering her and smooth the frown that was in her brow.
"Are you all right, Miss Perry?"
"Erm - yes, yes I am Mr. Frodo." She very deliberately avoided looking at his eyes. Frodo stopped, turning her around and making her do just that.
"Come now, Miss Perry. I don't think you're being entirely truthful with me."
Perry sighed fitfully after glancing to his large blue eyes, looking away. "Oh it's all so embarrassin', Mr. Frodo."
Frodo's heart began to thump again as he realised that perhaps she would talk of her feelings after all. "In what way Perry?" He fought valiantly to keep a shaking from his voice.
"Well I think that ye might take this all the wrong way, seein' as everyone else has tonight." She frowned. "See, Rosie told me about the pregnancy just yesterday, Mr. Baggins, and it troubled me to think of you up there in the Hill all on your own-"
Frodo nodded, squeezing the arms that he held above the elbow. They were soft and warm. "I won't be on my own, Miss Perry. Sam and Rosie will be there with me, there's plenty of room on New Row for a whole family."
"Well, yes, I know," said Perry, "But you know full well that there might be times when they might be too busy with themselves, and I tremble to think of you up there without help, Mr. Frodo."
Frodo took her hands, frowning himself, trying to find the words in his mind to let her down gently. "Miss Perry, I shall exist fine with my own help, as appealing as the thought of you waiting on me, hand and feet, is."
Perry frowned now. "Well yes, Sir, I'm sure you would. I think the matter that bothers me is whether you should have to." Frodo found himself lost for words, and she continued. "I know everyone doesn't know what you did out there, and I see that the folk prefer to rally around Pippin and Merry, but they're fightin' folk, those two, so it's natural. War heroes and such. But you, you Sir…" She frowned, realising that she had begun to ramble. "Whether you think it or no, you deserve to be looked after for the rest of your days, or at least never want for anythin'. Even if the rest of the Shire don't know, I know sir, and I couldn't live day to day knowin' that you'd be treated any less than what is right."
Frodo pressed his lips together, finding this moment far more difficult than he had foreseen. He squeezed her smaller hand in his. "Perry, you are young, and the apple of many a young gentlehobbit's eye in the Shire. I would not want you troubled with an old battle-worn hobbit when you could marry a young lad of your own sweet age and have a strong and large family. That, above all, is what you deserve."
Frodo wasn't to know that he had said the wrong thing, for Perry's large and well known family had pressed her on this issue repeatedly. She pulled her hands away and folded her arms, pressing her round lips together and frowning deeply.
"I do believe that's my own business, Mr. Baggins," she said, voice fully trembling now, thick with emotion. "And I think that hiding away in your hole and not letting another soul help you is no way to be, beggin' your pardon!" She turned away from him, staring down the path with firm features.
Now she didn't know that she had said the wrong thing also, and Frodo sighed, clenching his fists for a brief moment before turning her around again and meeting her defiant stare with his own wounded one.
"Now Miss Perry," he said, "If you know the full truth about what I did outside of the Shire, then you should know that I bear some scars that shall never heal, and shall darken my heart for the rest of my days."
Perry scrunched her round little nose. "Mr. Baggins, bless your soul but you talk as if you're the only one that had ever had anything horrible happen to him during the War!"
Frodo nodded, "Yes, I know things were terrible here during the-"
"Do you?" Perry's eyes blazed with pain and she looked unconvinced. "You and your cousins left us, Mr. Baggins. The Baggins heir, the Thain heir, the Brandybuck heir and the son to the best gaffer in the Shire, all disappeared in one fell swoop, Sir! It mightn't have meant much in reality but it was a fair blow to our hearts!" Her bottom lip trembled as she lifted her face to challenge him. "And when old Sharky and all those horrible Men moved in, with everyone that ever cared to stand up with him gone, we were defenseless!"
"I know this-"
Perry shook her head. "Those Men ravaged the Shire, top to bottom, Mr. Frodo! We couldn't sing; we couldn't dance. We couldn't walk in the moonlight or lay in the sun! We worked till we fell over, till our knuckles were raw and our bones were weak. We had no food and we had nowt to drink but the water we could gather for ourselves between working. We were dirty and foul in our own smells and were forced to live as Men!" She took a gasping breath. "The Men took everything they could! If they weren't plundering all they put their hands on they were playing with us, using us for sport!" She gulped, tears welling over. "They leered and they touched the lasses. They laughed at us and our ways! We were nothin' to them! They treated us worse than animals, and had no care if we lived or died!" She lost the final shred of control she had and a sob flew from her throat. She shook her head and stormed off down the path, long dark hair fluttering in her gait, her skirt swishing about her delicate ankles.
Frodo was wrought. He couldn't believe what he had heard, and was thoroughly distressed right down to his core. He felt ill, really ill, more so than his faint romance induced spate before. He took off down the path, chasing after the wildly sobbing lady-hobbit. She'd turned off the path, into a thicket of woods that lined the Water, his heart tight and high in his chest, tears lining his own eyes. Why hadn't he been told about the abuse the lady-hobbits had endured? Did any of the hobbit folk know, bar the ladies? He instantly thought of Diamond, of Rosie, of sweet Estella Bolger and the other young lasses that the Shire treasured as precious jewels. Another wave of nausea hit him and he leapt through the bushes, following the sound of Perry's sobbing.
"Perry!" he cried.
After clearing the thickest of the growth he spotted her down by the bank of the Water, crying heartily against a turf-covered bank, her nice dress in the damp dark mud of the Water's edge.
"Oh Perry!" He raced over to her, pulling her dangling form up from the ground and dragging her up onto the grass. She didn't want to support herself; all she did was cry. Guilt wracked him mercilessly, and he held her against him tightly, wrapping his arms fully around her and pressing her to him. She didn't answer, only sobbed into his shoulder, clutching his back with shaking hands. "I'm sorry, Perry, I'm so sorry."
She shook her head, saying nothing. He pulled back the curls of hair that had come loose and dangled in her face, cradling her jaw and wiping back the tears with a shaking thumb. She trembled all over, her hand covering his at her face. She met his eyes only a moment before pulling away, tugging his hand from her face and pushing it to his chest. She wiped her tears, turning her head away, still shaking.
"No, I'm sorry Mr. Baggins, it wasn't right of me to-" She cut herself off, shaking her head. "I won't bother you again."
Frodo gulped, a terrible jolt going through him at the words. He put his hand to a shoulder, trying to get her to face him again. "Please, Miss Periwinkle, you have nothing to be sorry for. I did not think on what I was saying. It was mindless of me to think that I was the only one that suffered during that time."
She finally turned her head, a tired sadness in her eyes. "I shouldn't have said anything, Mr. Baggins. It wasn't right of me. I know I never faced anything as fearsome as you did, I know it."
Frodo frowned at that. "On the contrary, Miss Periwinkle… you faced what I was fighting to prevent. The very thing I never wanted to see."
Her eyes suddenly twinkled in the dim blue light of the moon, mingled with the orange glowing light of the Green Dragon not far off. Her voice was very soft when she finally spoke.
"Can I tell you something, Mr. Baggins?" She very quickly added, "It concerns my reasons of wantin' to help you, Sir."
"Of course," he said in a hoarse whisper.
"When you came back, with the lads from the East Farthing, it was like a fanciful dream. I thought that I would wake up, and you would all suddenly disappear, and I'd be in for another day of misery. But I didn't wake up. You didn't disappear." She gazed at Frodo, a hand tentatively skidding over his, as if testing to see if he were real. "I knew when I saw you leadin' them boys through Hobbiton that I wanted to thank you somehow… cause you saved me Mr. Baggins. Saved me from…" She closed her eyes and sighed. "All I want to do is help you, like you helped me. Nothin' more, Sir. Nothin' more."
Frodo's heart sighed gently, his initial stern decision melting away at this new understanding. He had an urge to embrace Perry again as he did before, his heart wanting to smooth over the pain he'd caused her in any way he could. He squashed this urge though, knowing how improper it was, and instead took her hands in his, a thumb stroking the top of hers gently.
"And you will, my dear Perry, you will." He looked into her eyes, his own very serious. "I hope you can forgive me for my thoughtlessness."
She sighed shortly. "It was matched by my own heedless words, I assure you Mr. Baggins. Please, no apologies from you are necessary."
Frodo nodded quietly, and then he patted her hand. "Then your apologies are also not needed." She opened her mouth to argue, but Frodo spoke before she could say anything. "It is only fair, and the only condition upon my hiring you as my maid-servant."
Perry sighed again, this time with a weary little laugh. "All right, Mr. Baggins, you tricky fellow."
He finally smiled, and upon standing he offered her his arm. "Come on then, Miss Periwinkle. Let's get you home."
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Author: nacey
Email: tosh@opera.iinet.net.au
Category: Drama, Romance, AU
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All six books.
Summary: The story of Frodo's life after the journey of the Ring.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JRR Tolkien, and Tolkien Enterprises. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: This story is not properly edited. The final version may differ greatly from the one you are reading right now. This is just to air the idea and to see what others think of it, so I know whether to bother publishing it on the net or whether to keep it amongst my close friends. I very much thought that Lord of the Rings didn't need fan-fiction when I was reading it, until I read the ending. Then I saw the movies and it inspired me to write this little "Alternate-Universe" fic. I think that the ending that Tolkien did was absolutely perfect, and this is just my attempt at a different idea of what it could be like, mainly borne of my experience being amongst and being a person living with depression (I believe that poor Frodo had one of the most chronic cases of Post-Traumatic Stress that ever was). Constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms.
Website:
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Chapter Three - At the Green Dragon
Against the deep blue of the half-mooned sky, the Green Dragon's roof was square and stout, the building looking as if it had grown from the hillock it was built into like a rocky outcrop from ancient stone. From its round little windows burned the golden light of lamps and candles, and the strongest flickers licked out from the main entry, where inside there was the Grand Hearth. The Grand Hearth was reserved for the most respected of hobbit folk, and recently the likes of Pippin Took and Merry Brandybuck had been making themselves feel welcome there, much to the chagrin of both Frodo and Sam. They thought it a little audacious, considering they were all still rather young, and mostly older hobbits were given places of respect by this fire. Thankfully, the two younger hobbit's loitering of the Pride of Place was not a constant, particularly if Diamond of Long Cleeve and Estella Bolger were anywhere in the establishment. And they often were.
Tonight Sam and Frodo were alone as they walked up to the Green Dragon, as Rosie was still at home setting things right before she joined them. It was much like the days before the War of the Ring, and it filled them both with a familiar warmth that soothed them deeply.
"Looks like a busy night at the tavern, Mr. Frodo."
"Indeed, Sam," said Frodo, making his way up the path that led to the Green Dragon.
"I heard you had Miss Perry over again today."
Frodo sighed, closing his eyes a moment. "Yes, Sam. We happened to meet in the meadow near New Row."
"So Pippin was tellin' me, Sir." Sam nodded, and then tapped his lip. "Forgive me for sayin' so, Mr. Frodo, but perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing for you, befriending Miss Perry."
Frodo stopped, turning to Sam and frowning. "I don't know if I can take much more of this match-making Sam. I really thought all of you knew that I'm a bachelor because I choose to be, not because I cannot find a wife."
Sam covered his mouth for a moment, sensing his Master's annoyance and shook his head. "Oh no, no no, Master Frodo. I was just suggesting that perhaps letting her help you out around Bag End might serve you well."
"But Sam, I have you for that, don't I?" Frodo said, looking rather puzzled.
The shorter hobbit sighed, forehead wrinkling in a frown, his brows tilting up and guilt playing on his features.
"That's the thing, Mr. Frodo. I've felt torn in two like this before, and I know it can't be helped, but I swore before to always take care of you, and I'm going to make sure that there's always someone to tend on you, even if it tain't me, Sir." Samwise sighed, fiddling his fingers.
"Are you going to move out of Bag End, Sam?" Frodo asked, eyes wide and sad.
"Oh, no Sir, no, I wasn't planning to." Sam blushed brightly. "It's just Rosie… she's - well, she's with child, Mr. Frodo."
Frodo felt the world spin a little, and he found himself jumping, wrapping his arms around his best friend in absolute glee.
"Sam!" he cried, "Oh Samwise Gamgee! Why didn't you just say so?!"
Sam only blushed at that, smiling bashfully. "Oh Mr. Frodo, I want to be able to help you, you see, but with this little one coming I'm going to be spending a lot of time lookin' after it with Rosie, and with all the other work I've been doing fixing up the Shire…" He shrugged. "I jus' feel that you need more than I can give you."
Frodo sighed, folding his arms. "I guess I am extra trouble for you…"
"Not at all," said Sam. "I just want as what's best for you."
"I will have to discuss this with Miss Perry," said Frodo, the thought of having her help him out as she did that day perhaps a little appealing, "But it has been said that there is the matter of her … erm… " Frodo looked like he wanted to mention anything else other than what he was about to. "Feelings…"
"Oh," Sam blushed back at him and nodded. "Well, Mr. Frodo, I'm not likely the right one to discuss this particular topic with, beggin' your pardon, seeing as I've been married for some time now, and Rosie had more to do with the decision than I did, bless her boldness."
"Yes," said Frodo, not really listening, but thinking of poor Perry in his service whilst harbouring romantic feelings for him. He hadn't thought on it too much, indeed whenever he saw her he seemed to forget things like that and only felt to entertain her and treat her like any gentlehobbit should. Indeed she was a comely lass, as pretty as any in the Shire proclaimed, despite their recent fascination with the golden haired lasses. The very thought of her wasting her youth and loveliness on him seemed wrong, not that he was going to tell Sam that. He patted Sam on the shoulder fondly.
"Don't you worry about it, Sam," said Frodo. "I'll figure something out. Why don't you go inside and meet up with Pippin and Merry?"
"What are you going to do?"
Frodo gave a tired smile. "Think, my dear Sam."
"Right," said Sam. "Don't you think on it too long, or you shall disappear into yourself."
Frodo's smile grew easier and he gave Sam a push. "Go on."
Sam walked on up the steps to the door of the Inn, and Frodo turned, moving off the path and into the wild gardens that grew about the Green Dragon. Close to the path was a log perched on some specially hewn rocks to serve as a bench, and he sat on it carefully, pulling out his pipe and some weed to pack it with. A sigh was deep in his chest, and the more he thought on his situation, the more he realised how unfair it would be to take on Perry. No, he wouldn't do that, for the sweet girl deserved more than that. On coming to that decision he sat on the log for some time, for some reason feeling a sadness and a feeling of trouble had come upon him. He liked to have his thoughts all perfectly understood, and he greatly disliked having any part of his mind a mystery to himself. He wrestled with his thoughts, trying to make them clear, trying to see the situation that had become him as plainly as he thought it should have been.
No matter what thoughts he settled upon, his heart would burn sickly, and he felt ill in a way he'd never felt before. It wasn't an illness of the body, but the sort of sickness that made one wistful and melancholy. As he pondered, the high voice of hobbit-ladies began to grow close upon the path. He glanced over to the steps below, and there in the dim moonlight was the sweet brown-haired lass that Frodo knew as Diamond. He didn't really notice her too much next to her smaller companion. The familiar raven hair and deep brown eyes amongst the dusky skin had distracted him.
He'd never seen her dressed as this before, and of course he never would have, for he had only seen her during the day. She was dressed in her night-time finery, wearing a deep blue skirt like the night sky, and a firm black corset over a crisp white blouse that was worn about the shoulders. Her neckline was low, cleavage proud and her dark hair tumbling over her skin to bid her some modesty. As the girls trotted up the path, he completely missed that they had seen him on the bench beside it, and it wasn't till Perry repeated herself that he blinked and regained his wits.
"I said, are you all right Mr. Baggins?"
"Uh…" He swallowed. "Of course, Miss Perry."
She smiled, elegant little hands pressing down her skirt nervously. "Are you coming inside then?"
A crease of a frown settled between Frodo's brows. "I said to Sam that I would be in later…"
"Oh!" Diamond sighed. "Come now, Mr. Frodo. You can't be out here all on your own on such a lively evening! Up with you! Come on!" Diamond boldly stepped to him, pulling at his arms and tutting. Despite Frodo's little whimpers of complaint, she looked to him sternly. "We can't have the Deputy out here on his lonesome!"
So that settled that. Perry and Diamond escorted Frodo into the Green Dragon, and the chorus of cheer they received was heard all around the Hill and Bywater as they entered the establishment. It was a source of much amusement and impress that the Deputy Mayor had been brought in by two of the most eligible lasses in the Shire. Pippin nearly fell off his stool by the bar as he saw his cousin with Diamond on his arm. He seemed to completely miss the fact that Frodo was red to the tips of his ears and looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. Pip scrabbled to his seat once more, pulling Frodo aside as he came close.
"Now listen, cousin, let's be fair! You already have Perry Proudfoot desirin' your heart, give a poor fella a chance with Diamond at least!"
Frodo looked about himself helplessly and Diamond leaned in to Pippin from the other side of him, speaking flirtatiously.
"Why, are ye jealous?"
Pippin blushed wildly, turning away. "Not jealous as such…"
It was all very frustrating for poor Frodo. Usually he wasn't caught in the romantic crossfire of the young hobbits of the Shire, but tonight Merry and Pippin had him firmly stuck in the middle, making jokes and suggestions that he thoroughly wanted no part of. It was bad enough that the whole of the Shire would have some idea that he was a ladies man, and with the way Pippin and Merry were joking, he wouldn't be surprised if they thought that Perry Proudfoot was practically engaged to him. He glanced to Perry as the night wore on, and she didn't very much seem to find it all that amusing either. She would always turn crimson and look away, or frown pitifully into her mug of beer.
Slowly the night passed to the later hours, always famous for the songs that would be sung at this time. People were ready to sing, and their blood was on fire with ale and brandy. Voices roared together in chorus, the words telling stories of their proud past, their melodies speaking of a love of the land that few outside of the Shire knew or understood. Frodo became lost in the humble beauty of his people, of their innocence and passion. It never failed to move him after all that he had seen beyond the Shire.
"Perry!" cried out a rumbling male voice. "Sing us one of yer songs, Perry!"
Frodo looked to Perry, who smiled bashfully at the crowd around her and covered her mouth with quivering hands. The crowd wouldn't let up, and a few of the hobbits lifted her up onto a table with a great roar of support. He forgot that Perry had a propensity to sing little songs on such nights at the Green Dragon. She didn't have a particularly good voice; it was steady in key and often shaky from nerves, but it served her well. It had been described as sweet and homely, and a lot of things about Perry could be described as such. The real talent that lay within Perry was her knack at creating songs from her mind, lyrics of which were thought of as clever and sometimes moving. Upon the table she began to clap, hopping from foot to foot, blue skirt swinging delightfully.
"Beware folk big, upon the brig,
down by the Baranduin!
For soldiers there, so proud and fair,
Will likely throw you in!"
Perry threw her arms about as if ridding the room of a foe, and sent a foot kicking afterwards for effect. This sent the room into a roar of applause.
"They may seem small, but they walk tall!
In them great Kings did trust!
For where they ride, the huge beasts died,
With a quick, neat parry and thrust!"
Perry now pretended to sword-fight some invisible monster.
"When they returned, the Shire was burned,
They stopped the Men in their tracks.
With leader bold, they regained their hold,
And had those men by their backs!"
When she sung of the leader she met Frodo's eyes and sent him a wink.
"Let's bless the Thain, his speech so plain,
His son so strong and true!
And Brandybuck, well half his luck!
Was in the tussle too!
But never forget, through all that was set,
The Baggins stood by all.
The heart of our fight, in Bywater's sight,
Lives well in good Bag End."
The loud roaring and clapping that had dominated the room began to still during the last verse, and by its finish everyone gazed at Perry bewilderedly. Why was she singing about Frodo Baggins like this? They were expecting the song to be singing the great glory of Pippin and Merry, and suddenly the Deputy was brought into it for some strange reason. The silence was daunting, and Perry looked to Frodo, shrugging lightly. He looked about himself, his cheeks growing red. Suddenly, wild ecstatic clapping and cheering broke out from the bar, and everyone turned to see Pippin and Merry as the source.
"Oh, well sung, Perry!" cried Merry.
"Up the Baggins!" cried Pippin.
Slowly, and very reluctantly, the room clapped for Perry, nodding slowly and doing so only to placate their favoured heroes. Frodo saw nobody really wanted to help Perry down from her place, or wanted to hear any more of her songs, so he walked over, offering her his hands and arms to help her down. She placed her hands on his shoulders, and he lowered her down from her perch, giving her a weary yet affectionate look.
"You're asking for a shunning," said Frodo, shaking his head at her.
Perry shrugged, looking rather unconcerned by this. She was suddenly set upon by Diamond and Estella, the two hobbit-lasses dragging her off to the bar and twittering in her ear excitedly. Frodo smiled, winding his way over to Pippin and Merry, noticing the puzzled looks that were sent his way from the rest of the older hobbits about him. He sent a thankful look to his cousins as he reached the bar, shaking his head.
"Thank you for that," he said, "I would have hated to see Perry get any worse a reception for her song than she got."
"I thought it was a good song," said Pippin, very seriously. "Especially that bit about blessing the Thain."
"I liked the line about Brandybuck myself," said Merry.
Frodo shook his head, having a sip of ale and sighing. The night went on much like this, and as it came time for everyone to leave, he found that his friends and cousins had strangely disappeared, and Perry was alone by the door looking rather confused. He came over to her.
"Hullo, Perry. Where did Diamond and Estella disappear off to?"
She shrugged. "They said something about doing the washing and ran off with Pippin and Merry."
Frodo sighed, nodding to himself. "Yes, that would be about right. Come on then, I'll take you home."
"Oh, no, you don't have to-"
"It would be my pleasure, Perry," he insisted.
His heart thumped strangely as they walked down the path alone. Perry seemed a little quiet, and considering her nervous talkative nature, that was saying something. He tried to relax, to take the stress out of the situation. It wasn't in the nature of most ladies to assert themselves in the ways of courting, though lately Diamond and Rosie were challenging that ages long standard, much to Frodo's own distress (for nothing bothered him more than hurting the feelings of well meaning ladies). Perry, however, was not like them, was far more sensible and restrained, and so he felt a little security knowing that he was in some control. He smiled to her as they walked down the path, patting her hand that was linked around his elbow.
"I liked your song, Perry. You're very good at those, you know."
Perry smiled bashfully and played with a tress of her hair as she looked away, running the end of it over her lips. "I've done it since I was a lass an' learnt my letters, Mr. Baggins."
"Well, I'm sure dear old Bilbo would have been impressed. The next time I see him I should take some of your songs with me and show him."
Perry's eyes gleamed as she looked to Frodo. "Would you do that? Would you really?!"
"Of course," said Frodo. "I shall write down the one you sang tonight, and put it with the other songs I collected during my journeys."
The lass ducked her head humbly, her quietness taking her again. Frodo thought that he should ask her what the matter was, as it was obvious to him that something was troubling her. He knew that she might bring up the rather tender subject of marriage or courting, but a part of him felt willing to risk that anyway if it meant she could talk about any other problem that might be bothering her and smooth the frown that was in her brow.
"Are you all right, Miss Perry?"
"Erm - yes, yes I am Mr. Frodo." She very deliberately avoided looking at his eyes. Frodo stopped, turning her around and making her do just that.
"Come now, Miss Perry. I don't think you're being entirely truthful with me."
Perry sighed fitfully after glancing to his large blue eyes, looking away. "Oh it's all so embarrassin', Mr. Frodo."
Frodo's heart began to thump again as he realised that perhaps she would talk of her feelings after all. "In what way Perry?" He fought valiantly to keep a shaking from his voice.
"Well I think that ye might take this all the wrong way, seein' as everyone else has tonight." She frowned. "See, Rosie told me about the pregnancy just yesterday, Mr. Baggins, and it troubled me to think of you up there in the Hill all on your own-"
Frodo nodded, squeezing the arms that he held above the elbow. They were soft and warm. "I won't be on my own, Miss Perry. Sam and Rosie will be there with me, there's plenty of room on New Row for a whole family."
"Well, yes, I know," said Perry, "But you know full well that there might be times when they might be too busy with themselves, and I tremble to think of you up there without help, Mr. Frodo."
Frodo took her hands, frowning himself, trying to find the words in his mind to let her down gently. "Miss Perry, I shall exist fine with my own help, as appealing as the thought of you waiting on me, hand and feet, is."
Perry frowned now. "Well yes, Sir, I'm sure you would. I think the matter that bothers me is whether you should have to." Frodo found himself lost for words, and she continued. "I know everyone doesn't know what you did out there, and I see that the folk prefer to rally around Pippin and Merry, but they're fightin' folk, those two, so it's natural. War heroes and such. But you, you Sir…" She frowned, realising that she had begun to ramble. "Whether you think it or no, you deserve to be looked after for the rest of your days, or at least never want for anythin'. Even if the rest of the Shire don't know, I know sir, and I couldn't live day to day knowin' that you'd be treated any less than what is right."
Frodo pressed his lips together, finding this moment far more difficult than he had foreseen. He squeezed her smaller hand in his. "Perry, you are young, and the apple of many a young gentlehobbit's eye in the Shire. I would not want you troubled with an old battle-worn hobbit when you could marry a young lad of your own sweet age and have a strong and large family. That, above all, is what you deserve."
Frodo wasn't to know that he had said the wrong thing, for Perry's large and well known family had pressed her on this issue repeatedly. She pulled her hands away and folded her arms, pressing her round lips together and frowning deeply.
"I do believe that's my own business, Mr. Baggins," she said, voice fully trembling now, thick with emotion. "And I think that hiding away in your hole and not letting another soul help you is no way to be, beggin' your pardon!" She turned away from him, staring down the path with firm features.
Now she didn't know that she had said the wrong thing also, and Frodo sighed, clenching his fists for a brief moment before turning her around again and meeting her defiant stare with his own wounded one.
"Now Miss Perry," he said, "If you know the full truth about what I did outside of the Shire, then you should know that I bear some scars that shall never heal, and shall darken my heart for the rest of my days."
Perry scrunched her round little nose. "Mr. Baggins, bless your soul but you talk as if you're the only one that had ever had anything horrible happen to him during the War!"
Frodo nodded, "Yes, I know things were terrible here during the-"
"Do you?" Perry's eyes blazed with pain and she looked unconvinced. "You and your cousins left us, Mr. Baggins. The Baggins heir, the Thain heir, the Brandybuck heir and the son to the best gaffer in the Shire, all disappeared in one fell swoop, Sir! It mightn't have meant much in reality but it was a fair blow to our hearts!" Her bottom lip trembled as she lifted her face to challenge him. "And when old Sharky and all those horrible Men moved in, with everyone that ever cared to stand up with him gone, we were defenseless!"
"I know this-"
Perry shook her head. "Those Men ravaged the Shire, top to bottom, Mr. Frodo! We couldn't sing; we couldn't dance. We couldn't walk in the moonlight or lay in the sun! We worked till we fell over, till our knuckles were raw and our bones were weak. We had no food and we had nowt to drink but the water we could gather for ourselves between working. We were dirty and foul in our own smells and were forced to live as Men!" She took a gasping breath. "The Men took everything they could! If they weren't plundering all they put their hands on they were playing with us, using us for sport!" She gulped, tears welling over. "They leered and they touched the lasses. They laughed at us and our ways! We were nothin' to them! They treated us worse than animals, and had no care if we lived or died!" She lost the final shred of control she had and a sob flew from her throat. She shook her head and stormed off down the path, long dark hair fluttering in her gait, her skirt swishing about her delicate ankles.
Frodo was wrought. He couldn't believe what he had heard, and was thoroughly distressed right down to his core. He felt ill, really ill, more so than his faint romance induced spate before. He took off down the path, chasing after the wildly sobbing lady-hobbit. She'd turned off the path, into a thicket of woods that lined the Water, his heart tight and high in his chest, tears lining his own eyes. Why hadn't he been told about the abuse the lady-hobbits had endured? Did any of the hobbit folk know, bar the ladies? He instantly thought of Diamond, of Rosie, of sweet Estella Bolger and the other young lasses that the Shire treasured as precious jewels. Another wave of nausea hit him and he leapt through the bushes, following the sound of Perry's sobbing.
"Perry!" he cried.
After clearing the thickest of the growth he spotted her down by the bank of the Water, crying heartily against a turf-covered bank, her nice dress in the damp dark mud of the Water's edge.
"Oh Perry!" He raced over to her, pulling her dangling form up from the ground and dragging her up onto the grass. She didn't want to support herself; all she did was cry. Guilt wracked him mercilessly, and he held her against him tightly, wrapping his arms fully around her and pressing her to him. She didn't answer, only sobbed into his shoulder, clutching his back with shaking hands. "I'm sorry, Perry, I'm so sorry."
She shook her head, saying nothing. He pulled back the curls of hair that had come loose and dangled in her face, cradling her jaw and wiping back the tears with a shaking thumb. She trembled all over, her hand covering his at her face. She met his eyes only a moment before pulling away, tugging his hand from her face and pushing it to his chest. She wiped her tears, turning her head away, still shaking.
"No, I'm sorry Mr. Baggins, it wasn't right of me to-" She cut herself off, shaking her head. "I won't bother you again."
Frodo gulped, a terrible jolt going through him at the words. He put his hand to a shoulder, trying to get her to face him again. "Please, Miss Periwinkle, you have nothing to be sorry for. I did not think on what I was saying. It was mindless of me to think that I was the only one that suffered during that time."
She finally turned her head, a tired sadness in her eyes. "I shouldn't have said anything, Mr. Baggins. It wasn't right of me. I know I never faced anything as fearsome as you did, I know it."
Frodo frowned at that. "On the contrary, Miss Periwinkle… you faced what I was fighting to prevent. The very thing I never wanted to see."
Her eyes suddenly twinkled in the dim blue light of the moon, mingled with the orange glowing light of the Green Dragon not far off. Her voice was very soft when she finally spoke.
"Can I tell you something, Mr. Baggins?" She very quickly added, "It concerns my reasons of wantin' to help you, Sir."
"Of course," he said in a hoarse whisper.
"When you came back, with the lads from the East Farthing, it was like a fanciful dream. I thought that I would wake up, and you would all suddenly disappear, and I'd be in for another day of misery. But I didn't wake up. You didn't disappear." She gazed at Frodo, a hand tentatively skidding over his, as if testing to see if he were real. "I knew when I saw you leadin' them boys through Hobbiton that I wanted to thank you somehow… cause you saved me Mr. Baggins. Saved me from…" She closed her eyes and sighed. "All I want to do is help you, like you helped me. Nothin' more, Sir. Nothin' more."
Frodo's heart sighed gently, his initial stern decision melting away at this new understanding. He had an urge to embrace Perry again as he did before, his heart wanting to smooth over the pain he'd caused her in any way he could. He squashed this urge though, knowing how improper it was, and instead took her hands in his, a thumb stroking the top of hers gently.
"And you will, my dear Perry, you will." He looked into her eyes, his own very serious. "I hope you can forgive me for my thoughtlessness."
She sighed shortly. "It was matched by my own heedless words, I assure you Mr. Baggins. Please, no apologies from you are necessary."
Frodo nodded quietly, and then he patted her hand. "Then your apologies are also not needed." She opened her mouth to argue, but Frodo spoke before she could say anything. "It is only fair, and the only condition upon my hiring you as my maid-servant."
Perry sighed again, this time with a weary little laugh. "All right, Mr. Baggins, you tricky fellow."
He finally smiled, and upon standing he offered her his arm. "Come on then, Miss Periwinkle. Let's get you home."
~~~~~