Begathon (The beg for mercy)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything so don't sue me.
I was hangin out at the Malibu Club having a couple of drinks when I noticed some one had been shot out side. I have seen many people killed before but I have never seen Maurice Chavez as press. I walked over with other people curious of the pile of blood and guts on the sidewalk. The news crew was just finishing up and putting the stuff in the truck. I ran over to Maurice to ask him about his job.
Tommy: Hey don't you do a talk radio show?
Maurice: Yes and I also have my own television program.
Tommy: Wow, you hit it big. Why did you go in to every thing else besides the radio talk show?
Maurice: Not enough people were donating money. My managers were telling me to just let Jonathan Freeloader and that other girl I forget her name to do all the begging. All the money they got they kept. Those greedy self- centered pricks. Well now I'm on my own to make big bucks.
Tommy: I love your show and I think I can talk to them. (Winking eye)
Maurice: You want to help them? (Realizing the winked eye) Oh right right. No one messes with Maurice Chavez! And remember if he doesn't get hurt, hit him really hard in the face with a paperweight.
Tommy: Okay I'll remember that, sort of. Just give me a location of the assholes. Did you know they called you an asshole in one or you shows.
Maurice: No, I had no idea! Why don't you throw in a little extra punch for me but don't kill them. Your not going to kill them right? (Tommy looks away then back at Maurice) Right? The only reason I don't want you to kill them is because they will think I did it!
Tommy: All right I won't kill them but I sure would like to.
Maurice: (Rips a piece of paper off of something and hands it to Tommy) All right this is a good place to find them on their alone time.
Tommy: Thanks I won't let you down!
Maurice: No thank you!
The piece of paper told him to go to Starfish Island at 3 A.M. I had to get a quiet car and a weapon of choice for the matter. I went over to Sunshine Autos and bought a Sentinel. The Sentinel was quiet yet fast. I drove over to Screw This and bought a baseball bat and a butcher knife.
I was at the house around 2:45. Jonathan's house was so big. It must have cost over a million. This was the time of day he was out side exercising. And just as I was instructed there he was trying to burn some fat off his ass. I ran over and hit him with the baseball bat. It was just hard enough to make him fall to the ground. I took out the butcher knife as the begging began.
Jonathan: Please don't hurt me! I'll give you what ever you want.
Tommy: How about a couple thousand to give back to Maurice Asshole! Your going to get a good beating now.
Jonathan: Fuck, my ribs, my arm my arm, not my legs, shit, I knew I should have kept secret the money I stole! Don't leave me here!! No help me!
Tommy: Next time you will make sure not to be greedy. Well that will never happen again. Right?
Jonathan: Yes it will never happen again! Please just don't hit me again! (gets hit again)
Tommy: Good.
Now he was on his way to the Leaf Links Golf Club. This was where the woman would be. I tried really hard to remember the name but it didn't come to me. I figured I could tee off next to her and her head would be the golf ball. I made it to the Golf Club and had to pay to get in. For 300 bucks Maurice should give me some of the profits. I stole a golf cart from the front villa and was on my way. She was at the exact spot he predicted. She was there popin off a couple golf balls. I saw her cart and read through her stuff. That was it. Her name was Michelle Montanius. I knew it started with an M. I went up in the booth next to her and pretended to know what I was doing.
Tommy: Nice club isn't it?
Michelle: Yes I come here all the time!
Tommy: It must be a real killer on you money!
Michelle: No, I have got plenty of money. (this was the last friendly line we shared before I hit her)
Tommy: Why don't you let Maurice have what is his? Are you too good for him? No! He's my favorite radio host and it makes me mad to see him with three jobs just to survive. Because of you two bastards he has to work harder. You deserve this! (Hits Michelle until she cries)
Well I sure took care of that. I drove away with a sense that I had done the right thing. Maurice and me are now buddies and we both look out for each other. All donations are now going to Maurice Chavez. The only problem is that there are not enough donations being maid. So please donate your money he needs it bad! Call 555-5555 Now!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything so don't sue me.
I was hangin out at the Malibu Club having a couple of drinks when I noticed some one had been shot out side. I have seen many people killed before but I have never seen Maurice Chavez as press. I walked over with other people curious of the pile of blood and guts on the sidewalk. The news crew was just finishing up and putting the stuff in the truck. I ran over to Maurice to ask him about his job.
Tommy: Hey don't you do a talk radio show?
Maurice: Yes and I also have my own television program.
Tommy: Wow, you hit it big. Why did you go in to every thing else besides the radio talk show?
Maurice: Not enough people were donating money. My managers were telling me to just let Jonathan Freeloader and that other girl I forget her name to do all the begging. All the money they got they kept. Those greedy self- centered pricks. Well now I'm on my own to make big bucks.
Tommy: I love your show and I think I can talk to them. (Winking eye)
Maurice: You want to help them? (Realizing the winked eye) Oh right right. No one messes with Maurice Chavez! And remember if he doesn't get hurt, hit him really hard in the face with a paperweight.
Tommy: Okay I'll remember that, sort of. Just give me a location of the assholes. Did you know they called you an asshole in one or you shows.
Maurice: No, I had no idea! Why don't you throw in a little extra punch for me but don't kill them. Your not going to kill them right? (Tommy looks away then back at Maurice) Right? The only reason I don't want you to kill them is because they will think I did it!
Tommy: All right I won't kill them but I sure would like to.
Maurice: (Rips a piece of paper off of something and hands it to Tommy) All right this is a good place to find them on their alone time.
Tommy: Thanks I won't let you down!
Maurice: No thank you!
The piece of paper told him to go to Starfish Island at 3 A.M. I had to get a quiet car and a weapon of choice for the matter. I went over to Sunshine Autos and bought a Sentinel. The Sentinel was quiet yet fast. I drove over to Screw This and bought a baseball bat and a butcher knife.
I was at the house around 2:45. Jonathan's house was so big. It must have cost over a million. This was the time of day he was out side exercising. And just as I was instructed there he was trying to burn some fat off his ass. I ran over and hit him with the baseball bat. It was just hard enough to make him fall to the ground. I took out the butcher knife as the begging began.
Jonathan: Please don't hurt me! I'll give you what ever you want.
Tommy: How about a couple thousand to give back to Maurice Asshole! Your going to get a good beating now.
Jonathan: Fuck, my ribs, my arm my arm, not my legs, shit, I knew I should have kept secret the money I stole! Don't leave me here!! No help me!
Tommy: Next time you will make sure not to be greedy. Well that will never happen again. Right?
Jonathan: Yes it will never happen again! Please just don't hit me again! (gets hit again)
Tommy: Good.
Now he was on his way to the Leaf Links Golf Club. This was where the woman would be. I tried really hard to remember the name but it didn't come to me. I figured I could tee off next to her and her head would be the golf ball. I made it to the Golf Club and had to pay to get in. For 300 bucks Maurice should give me some of the profits. I stole a golf cart from the front villa and was on my way. She was at the exact spot he predicted. She was there popin off a couple golf balls. I saw her cart and read through her stuff. That was it. Her name was Michelle Montanius. I knew it started with an M. I went up in the booth next to her and pretended to know what I was doing.
Tommy: Nice club isn't it?
Michelle: Yes I come here all the time!
Tommy: It must be a real killer on you money!
Michelle: No, I have got plenty of money. (this was the last friendly line we shared before I hit her)
Tommy: Why don't you let Maurice have what is his? Are you too good for him? No! He's my favorite radio host and it makes me mad to see him with three jobs just to survive. Because of you two bastards he has to work harder. You deserve this! (Hits Michelle until she cries)
Well I sure took care of that. I drove away with a sense that I had done the right thing. Maurice and me are now buddies and we both look out for each other. All donations are now going to Maurice Chavez. The only problem is that there are not enough donations being maid. So please donate your money he needs it bad! Call 555-5555 Now!