Ok, the muses came back from strike after I promised to give them chocolate. They were in such a good mood that they made me write a comedy…ME, of all people. This isn't normal but hey, what can you do.

Summery: Set somewhere between Bilbo's farewell party and the Fellowship, the hobbits are all so innocent. Pippin's lost his memory, shall I say more?

Disclaimer: Look…I DON'T OWN 'EM. Ok?

Warning: To all people with commonsense…this may be way to confusing. But isn't a parody, I'm not good enough for that yet.

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1: The Fruity Hobbit

What were they doing again? And why were they doing it? He thought long and hard as his slightly muddled brain took its time to reorganise itself, after the tumble they just took he was surprised that he was even conscious to think about…what were they doing again?

"Oi, Pip! Wake up!" He felt a hand shake his shoulder and he stared at him in surprise. He was here too?

"Hi there."

"Oh, so you are paying attention now." Merry shoved the carrots back into his sack and scrambled up, searching around for something before finding it and picking up another sack, this one completely empty. "Ah drat, there's a hole in it. That's a whole heap of work for nothing." He stuck his fist through the tear and glared down at Pippin who was still on the ground, looking around him blearily and very confused. What had happened?

"Hey, dreamer. You didn't check the sacks and now that's a whole heap of potatoes lost, mind you I think you have potatoes for brains sometimes." He dropped the glare and grinned, waiting for his cousin to complain in defence like usual. But he still sat there, looking around dumbly and rubbing his forehead where a pretty large lump had formed.

"Pip! Stop fooling and come on, we'll get the 'ol Gaffer to fix that up for you when we get there, if we get there. It's getting late Pip, we're going to miss out if we don't hurry. Come on!" He grabbed the young tween under the armpit and dragged him up, brushing off the bits of twigs and leaves that had stuck to his clothing when they had fallen down the hill after the raid on a stranger's farm. They hadn't known whom it belonged to and they didn't really care, all they knew was that their stomachs were empty, it was near suppertime and the farm had some nice things they could "borrow" for Frodo's birthday.

"Wh…what?" Pippin was confused and he showed it, pushing Merry away and eyeing him with curiosity, the fellow looked mighty funny to him for some reason and he smiled without really knowing what he was smiling at. 

"What's so funny?" Merry frowned as Pippin giggled.

"You are." The younger hobbit pointed at Merry and put his hand over his mouth, trying to hold in the laugh.

"Why?"

"Coz you look funny."

"What's so funny?" Merry asked again, checking himself to see if he had a mushroom planted on his forehead or something.

"You've got big feet."

"Well of course I do! You do too you know."

"I do?"

"See for yourself, silly Took."

"Ai! Get 'em off, get 'em off!" Pippin leaped to the ground and scrambled round on his back, pulling at his feet as though they could just pop off and continued screaming. "Get them off me! Get 'em off!"

Merry looked around worriedly, wondering if anyone was watching this show of strange behaviour but thankfully there was only a lone child crossing a nearby field, either not able to hear them or simply ignoring it.

"Come and stop this, Pip, you're not fooling anyone and it's late for supper. It'll all be gone by the time we get there and I want a taste of that cake they said they would make." He pulled the hobbit off the ground again and Pippin looked very bewildered, staring at Merry again like the mushroom that could've been on his forehead was now growing out of his ear.

"What's pip? Are you looking for watermelons?"

"Pippin."

"Is pippin a type of fruit?"

"Pippin!"

"Don't yell sir I only asked…what's your name then?"

"PIPPIN!"

"But that's a watermelon…"

"YOU are PIPPIN!"

"Oi! No need to shake me! So I'm a fruit, I thought so coz normal things don't have furry feet like this. Must be a new strain."

"Of course you're a fruit. You are the fruitiest person I know right now and you name is Pippin! You got that, PIPPIN!"

"So I'm a fruit named Pippin…well, at least we got that sorted out. Are you a fruit too?"

"PIPPIN!"

"Ah, another pippin. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Merry."

"Of course you are, aren't we all? In fact I feel very merry right now, I think I would dance if I wasn't a fruit…"

"My name is Merry. And you are Pippin, and you are NOT a fruit you dim-witted Took…just dim-witted."

"Took? But I took nothing…"

"AARRRRGGHHH!!!"

"What? Why are you tearing out your hair? I thought you need that if you are a fruit so you can grow…or is that the roots…do fruits have roots?"

"PIPPIN!!"

"I heard you first time. So I'm a fruit named Pippin, you are very merry and I took something…is that about right?"

"Oh for the love of…Pippin wake up!"

"OI! You didn't need to slap me, fruit hurts too you know!"

"I'm taking you to Bag End right now. That fall must've muddled your head pretty bad."

"Hey! I don't want to go in a bag!"

"Just come on."

"Can fruit walk? I don't know coz I think we bruise or…hey I CAN walk! Yippee, see Pippin the fruit walk! I am the first walking fruit!"

"PIPPIN!"

"I heard you before! So what happened about being merry? I thought…"

"AARRRGGHHH!!"

"Sir, you are going to go all bald if you keep doing that. Oh, dirt! YIPPEE!!"

"PIPPIN, NOOOO!"

TBC

A/N: Poor Poor Pippin. Can some people give me some ideas? I've got the next two chapters under wraps, but I need some PIPPIN adventures, hee hee.