I worked long and hard on this chapter, if you can call two hours long and the fact I was half watching TV the whole time as well. Hee hee, anyway, this will be the last update for a while as my internet decided to crash and I've had to come back to the place in the city to do stuff, and they're closed on Christmas and I'm going on holiday. Hee hee, check this, I'm going to another town over yonder to see a LOTR marathon with B'Elanna (Check out her stuff, VERY good) and then I'm going to Dusseldorf Germany a few hours later so there's NADA sleep for me for nearly two days. Hee hee, I'm nutz.
Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I could own them, maybe if I get…no, kidnapping the Tolkien Society will do me no good. I will NEVER own them *sighs*.
Summery: Can you say "I hate Gandalf"? I sure did when I finished this chap, the guy really knows how abandon people at the wrong moments, tis a shame to be sure. Hee hee. Also get ready for hobbit jealousy. *grins*
* * * *
4: Results of a Senseless Wizard
Everyone froze in horror, Diamond jumped up quick and hid under the table before the hobbit could see where she went. Merry sighed and shook his head, just when his cousin was getting better; he'd gone fruity all over again.
"Gandalf…help?" Frodo pleaded with the wizard as the young hobbit proceeded in his exploration of the sitting room, coming too close to the fire at one point and nearly singing his eyebrows before an almost frantic Merry pulled him back, upsetting all balance and falling backwards over a chair. "Please?" he squeaked as the troublesome hobbit wriggled out of Merry's grip around his waist and almost knocked a rather old and precious vase off the sideboard. "Now?" Frodo's voice became so high-pitched that most hobbits in the room put their hands over their ears, torn between wanting to either physically silence Frodo, or knock out the young hobbit a third time who was causing him to hyperventilate.
"Gandalf?" the Gaffer pulled on the wizard's sleeve and was waved away briskly, swift puffs of smoke rising from the pipe as Gandalf thought deeply. Finally he spoke.
"I think you have a problem, Frodo." He looked seriously at the hobbit that was becoming white as a sheet as many more precious items of his became close to extinction.
"I have a problem? Of course I do, it's very obvious and what are YOU going to do about it?" Frodo stood in front of the wizard and put his hands on his hips, unfortunately the intimidation did not receive the desired response.
"I shall do nothing. There is nothing I CAN do anyhow and it may be best if I move along now and leave you to it." He then stood up and picked up his staff from where he had leaned it against the table. The hobbits were shocked.
"You're just going to leave us?" Rose gasped.
"With that?" Sam pointed to Pippin who struggling hard in Merry's arms once more.
"Alone?" Diamond peeked out from her haven under the table and screeched when Pippin spotted her and pulled out of Merry's grip, diving at her and making them both disappear under the table once more.
"Yes, I'm afraid so." Gandalf grunted as Diamond's annoyed voice sounded from her hidden position and Pippin simply giggled in response.
"Would you mind not…OW! PIPPIN!"
"But it's good if you prune."
"That's MY hair."
"And it's far too long, you won't grow if you don't…"
"Listen to me, I'm grown, I don't grow anymore…PERIOD!"
"But…"
"Ow! PIPPIN!"
Gandalf swept out of the room as Diamond's voice rose several octaves and the table gave a big leap to the side.
"As I said," the wizard spoke swiftly as he grabbed his hat from the hat stand and Frodo and Sam followed him with big scowls on their faces, "I can do nothing here. You are on your own old friend, I'm sorry."
"And why is that, 'Old Friend'?" Frodo looked furious at the wizard and Gandalf sensed it, turning around slowly with his hand still on the doorknob to the outside world.
"I should tell you Frodo, that if I stay much longer in this place in the same room as that Fruit, you won't have a Hole left once I'm through. I have little patience, and it has been worn threadbare with that…Took. That dratted Fool of a Took!" He glowered under his bushy eyebrows and Frodo sighed, his own angry look wiped clean from his face with the wizard's confession.
"'Fool of a Took'? I do hope he doesn't last too long like this for that name to stick. A new nickname will not be good for him after 'Pippin', 'Pip', 'Pips', 'Pipe', 'Fruit'…" A rather silly grin spread it's way across the hobbit's face as he counted off more names on his fingers. "…'Tooky', 'Trap', 'Fruit', 'Prop', 'Pippy', 'Fruit', 'Peregrinner', 'Fruit'…"
"You've said that a few times now Mister Frodo." Sam patted his master's shoulder and Frodo let the grin drop into a sensible smile, looking at Sam with thanks and then at the wizard with understanding. Gandalf just stayed still on the matter and turned the knob, ready to walk out the door and into the relative safety of the wild where the Fruit could not follow.
So far, the luck of the Hobbits was not following it's usual course of staying true, and Bad Luck decided to show it's ugly head once more for the umpteenth time that day. As Gandalf pulled the door open, not one of the three people noticed that there was a fourth and fifth standing directly behind them until it was too late.
"NO PIPPIN!!" Diamond's shrill voice made them nearly jump out of their skins and the last thing they saw before they were knocked off balance and turned around, was a blur in a blue coat dragging another blur in a dress out the door and down the path. No one reacted quickly enough to catch the blurs and they disappeared in the darkness, a strange sound of childish giggling mixed with yells of annoyance following them until that too was gone.
"Please, just…don't say it." Frodo put a hand to his head as Merry, Rose, Estella and the Gaffer came running into the hallway, all opening their mouths to say something before Sam shut them up with a look. But he hadn't directed the smouldering look at Rose and she felt it was safe to…
"Pippin's gone and kidnapped Diamond and he's got something else wrong with him now as he's not only fruity but a Baggins I swear because he's saying things such as 'I'm going to see the dragon' and things about dwarves and elves and wizards, no offence Gandalf, and he told us he was going to see it all and he needed to teach Diamond how to prune properly and we didn't know what he was doing till it was too late and I don't think you'd want to go into your living room right now as it's quite a mess because Pippin went drastic on us and…" She gasped and leaned over, her hands heavy on her knees as she drew in precious breaths of air. Sam gaped and gently rubbed her back, absolutely stunned about how much the hobbit girl could say before becoming close to suffocation. Gandalf just stayed put and frowned, all the hobbits soon looking from the still gasping Rose, up to him for guidance.
"I think you may have a problem." He finally said, putting his hat on his head and grabbing his staff firmly, making all the hobbits gape at him in amazement.
"You're still leaving? Even though we need you now more than ever?" The Gaffer stared at him wide eyed and his jaw dropped when the wizard nodded.
"Yes, so I bid you farewell." He waved his hand and stepped out, closing the door firmly behind him. The wizard had left them…alone.
"Of all the cheeky, non-wizard like sense of a mule with two legs and a headless wor…" Merry rambled before Estella slapped him gently over the back of the head.
"Now now, that's not very nice to talk about our Gandalf like that. Even though it is rather tempting to call him a 'Senseless No-Headed Worm'." She smiled at Merry and he blushed, suddenly becoming awkward in her presence. If the situation were not so dire, the rest of them would have joked and laughed about Merry's almost childlike crush on Estella, Sam's affection for Rose and Pippin's…er...yes.
"Well, lets get to work then." The Gaffer took charge as the oldest in the group and proceeded to don his coat, grabbing the others off the hooks and tossing them to Sam, Merry and Frodo.
"What about us?" Rose had recovered and was now tapping her foot impatiently, Estella copying her motions and both had sour looks on their faces.
"You stay here in case they come back." Frodo shrugged on his coat and did up the buttons, before grabbing his walking stick and opening the door.
"Oh, it's just because we're female isn't it." Estella didn't look too happy and Merry put his hand on her shoulder.
"No, not really. But it's dark out and I don't think it's very safe for two pretty girls to go wondering around where almost anything can happen. I'd feel much better if you stayed in the warm hole and waited until we come back, maybe you can make some more of that delicious pie as I'm sure Frodo here has enough supplies for it." Meriadoc Brandybuck's natural charm, not one other in the Shire possessed it and when he used it to the full; he nearly always got what he wanted. Females were no exception.
"Oh, if you say so." Estella smiled sweetly and Rose ducked her head, the charm having been directed at her too and she was trying to hide the blush spreading across her cheeks.
The four-hobbit search party then set out, wandering down the path and reaching the main road before Sam called a halt and proceeded to set a glaring match with Merry.
"You keep you eyes off her, Merry!"
"What did I do now?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I don't really."
"You were…moving in on Rosey."
"Was not."
"Was too."
"Was not."
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"Hush boys, you will raise the whole of Hobbiton at this rate. I swear those lasses have heard you anyway." The Gaffer got the expected response and the two ceased arguing, becoming red-faced at the prospect that Estella and Rose could have heard them and resorted to fierce, silent glares instead.
Frodo snickered quietly as they continued and he whispered to the older hobbit. "You know, I think I'd rather stay a bachelor, it's far less complicated."
The Gaffer laughed softly and they continued to walk, keeping their eyes open for any sign of the now "Baggins" Fruit and a supposedly kidnapped hobbit lass. But their thoughts continued to wander, Diamond didn't look too upset and she hadn't resisted that much when Pippin had run out with her. It was quite confusing and Merry and Sam pushed it out of their minds, going back to the glaring game in full force.
"Did not." Merry whispered.
"Did too." Sam hissed softly.
"Not."
"Too."
"Not."
"Too!"
"Not!"
"T…"
"Oh will you two just shut it!"
"Sorry."
"Yes, sorry."
They glared again but couldn't keep their mouths shut.
"Did."
"Did'nt."
"Did."
"Did'nt."
"Did."
And it continued…all night long.
TBC
* * * *
More ideas? I'm getting this all from other people and it REALLY helps lift my writers block…a LOT!!! Anyway, a friend of mine was going through a tiff or something with me and we had this argument…it is used in this story as I thought it to be quite appropriate for what is to come *giggles innocently*.
Tesekian: I'll NEVER be rid of you, you haunt my every Pippin steps and it is WONDERFUL, thanx tons for reviewing. The Soup Nazis: Interesting name, pray tell me where you got it from as I'm also thinking of changing my name, my real name that is, hee hee, thanx for the review. pippin28: Cute hey? Cool, am thinking of making it cuter later on, any ideas? Lol, thanx for reviewing. And CHEERS TO ALL THAT READ.
Ta ta and REVIEW!!!!!!