Chapter Three Confiding

I wasn't sure how I managed to go to school the next day, my head felt like it was about to explode. The night before wasn't a pleasant one at my house..apparently my older sister was being her dumb usual self and had come home to tell my mother that she was expecting a child.

When I heard I freaked. My older sister, my beautiful, once so smart and full of life, had been stupid enough to have sex unprotected and now she was going to be a mother of eighteen. My mother freaked. She called Audrey so many names I had never even heard of..I was scared and decided to hide in my room the rest of the night, occasionally getting sick and having to run into the bathroom to throw up the contents of my dinner.

My mother told my sister she wasn't going to support her in anyway, and she was to be out of the house in a month. What my sister didn't see was the hurt and tears in my mother's eyes as she cried silently at the kitchen table. I was angry at Audrey for hurting us all in this way..I was so upset. I needed out..so I sought out my younger sister Jen and made her give me a joint or I threatened to tell our mother all about her getting high with her friends. I had never smoked before and the feeling of inhaling pot into my body, was insane. I puked my guts up that morning before school, and had a major head ache, not to mention my blood shot eyes.

Walking into my first period class, algebra, I took a seat in the back of the classroom and looked out the window, tugging absentmindedly on my black mesh hoodie. I was so sick this morning I just pulled my hair into a messy bun at the top of my head, threw on a hot pink tank top and my black mesh hoodie, a pair of black dickies and a bunch of rings, bracelets, black rubber bracelets, etc. on my fingers, grabbed my studded black belt and called it a day. I gazed out of the window and felt tears in my eyes. I didn't have the worst life, I knew that. But it still hurt to know your own flesh and blood was a tramp.

I didn't realize that Craig had sat down next to me until I felt him poke me with the tip of his pencil. I jumped.

"Damn it Craig! Can't you just say hello like a normal person?" I snapped before I realized the harsh tone of my voice. I saw a twinge of hurt in his beautiful eyes and immediately felt guilty for hurting him in the slightest way. "Sorry," I mumbled glancing at him. "I had a really rough morning."

Craig smiled weakly. "It's okay. Wanna talk about it? Mr. Gems isn't here for another fifteen minutes. Come on, lets take a quick walk."

I looked at him as if he was crazy. "You're joking. Dude, if we get busted we'll be in so much fucking shit..No, I can tell you at lunch."

He grinned. "Fine."

I didn't want to talk to anyone that morning. I avoided Ashley through all of our classes, muttering a 'I don't feel good,' to her as she stopped me to ask how I was. I didn't even bother telling off Paige or Hazel when they binder tipped me, I ignored Spinner's cruel remarks.. 'Did your closet through up at you, Corenteniz?' And when Jimmy approached me during health to ask if I was okay I didn't even have time to marvel over the fact that one of the most popular guys in the whole school actually acknowledged my presence. School was such a blur, and as I was rounding the corner to my locker before lunch, I ran right smack into Craig. Muttering an apology, I gathered my books and brushed past him to my locker where I began to work my combination.

"Hold up," I heard him say as he rested his back against the locker next to mine, looking at me. "What's wrong? Tell me..you said you would at lunch. Your eyes are all red, and I heard from Ashley that you were crying in the bathroom during early study hall."

I looked up into his beautiful expecting eyes, and smiled sadly as my own boring hazel/blue eyes filled with tears. "I-I'm fine." I whispered. He looked alarmed and worried at my tears and shaky voice.

"We need to talk, come on."

I wanted to argue, I really did, but my heart melted as Craig grabbed my hand and led me out into the courtyard into a small section of the patio to an empty table where no one was. He sat opposite me and looked pointedly. "Talk."

I sighed. Before I knew it I was telling him everything, from my sister's recent news, to my bingeing on weed. When I was done I found myself crying slightly, and shaking. I looked into his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Cadence," Craig whispered. "Really, if you ever, EVER need anything, you know where my house is, you know my number, you need to talk to me. You know that I'm there for you right?"

I nodded. "I know." I sniffled.

"Wanna come over after school?"

I grinned despite myself. "Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks, Craig."

Craig nodded. "Don't worry."

I couldn't eat lunch that day, so after Craig and I talked a few more moments I left early and decided to go to class early. I walked into the empty classroom of Ms. Kwan's English class. Settling myself in the back of the room, I laid my head on my arms and closed my eyes. I felt a presence above me and looked up into the dark, brooding eyes of Ashley. A bit startled, I sat up and blinked at her.

"Hey," I muttered.

"Hi." Her voice was soft and soothing and put me at ease. She sat down in front of me and turned to me. "Listen, Cadence, you are my best friend. We need to talk. Something's up..everyone knows it..even Paige mentioned something about your behavior. What's going on? You can tell me! I'm your best friend."

I looked away from her eyes. "I know, it's just..Ashley I need to tell you. I haven't been feeling good lately and..and I dunno. Um.." I wanted to tell her, I really did. But I found it so much harder telling her than it did Craig...but why? I was confused for a moment before I spoke again. "It's just..my Dad um, forgot to pay his support check and well..we're kind of tight on the bill so I can't get that new c.d. I wanted." I lied lamely. I felt so stupid. Lying to Ashley? And about not getting a c.d.? What had gotten into me? She looked skeptically at me and nodded.

"Right, sure." She looked hurt for knowing I lied to her.

"Listen, Ash, I know it sounds stupid, but you know how much I love The Used. And now I can't get their c.d. ...and well I really wanted it!" I feigned fake tears and congratulated myself when I felt the hot tears run down my face.

Ashley looked taken aback. "Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry Cadence! If you need any kind of money, just call me."

I grinned at her. "Thanks." The bell rang and the rest of the class filed in. I felt so horrible. Lying to my best friend? What was wrong with me? I felt horrible as I only half listened to the assignment for that day.

******************************************* End of chapter three...so if it's only half-assed, I'm not in the mood.

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