Disclaimer: *Rolls eyes* Honestly...to even be somewhat like the guy who owns CT, I'd hafta have a sex change, move to Japan, and have a LOT more cash than I actually have.

Author's Note: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! I've just had an insane couple of weeks, so I never got around to writing much. Plus I have another fic that can sometimes be an absolute pain in the ass to write.

Oh yeah, something that red mage said reminds me to add something...yes, I am trying to be cautious about how Chrono Crossy this fic gets. Anything that happens here (and some of it could be slightly AU) will NOT have happened onscreen in Chrono Cross. Some of the stuff with Lucca and the orphanage, obviously, will have been mentioned in Chrono Cross, but that's as far as I go. There will be a lot going on with some of the original characters from CT and also with Guardia and everything, so I would say that CT is the better category for this fic. Thanks, red mage!

***

"I just can't believe this," Crono muttered as the trio stared at the pointy-eared, blue haired warlock who was currently lying prostrate in the bed of one of the empty rooms. "I mean...HOW did he manage to get here?"

Lucca shook her head. "Who knows," she spat contemptuously, fighting the urge to give the bed a good kick. "One of my better theories is that he finally attained nirvana because of the constant swelling in his already overlarge head."

As Crono looked over at his childhood friend in surprise and Marle was shrieking "eeeeuuuuuuwww!" in an annoyingly high-pitched voice, Lucca walked over to the other side of the bed and squinted down at his face, continuing on, "Yeah, it's him, without a doubt. I don't know how or why or how he got here, but as much as I hate to admit it, it's definitely him."

"But doesn't he look a little young?" Marle asked, having gotten over Lucca's so-called bout of grossness. "I mean, it HAS been over ten years."

"Anything's possible with time travel, hon," Crono replied, although looking equally puzzled. "And we don't even know how he traveled through time in the first place. There aren't any Gates anymore, even considering you have a Gate Key to activate them." He shook his head and drew closer to inspect Magus more carefully. "Look, he's all beat up. Cuts, bruises, and I think his leg's broken for su-"

"And hopefully he managed to hit his head, too," Lucca growled, her nose in the air. "So that maybe, just maybe, he gets a bout of amnesia, causing his personality to be altered and so that he isn't such an annoying pain in the ass with every breath he takes!"

"Hey, what's your problem with him, anyway?" Crono gave her a sidelong glance, looking even more confused. "I know that he got a little arrogant sometimes, but he wasn't all THAT bad."

"A little arrogant?!" Lucca exploded, glaring daggers over at her friend. "You're saying just a LITTLE arrogant?! Crono, the man lives, breathes, and wallows in arrogance! He's arrogance incarnate! You'd have to call him arrogant ten times in a row just for someone to get the meaning of how truly arrogant he is!"

"Oh, geez. I never should have asked..."

"Well, you'd better get used to him, then," Marle said to Lucca with a smirk. "Because obviously he's going to have to stay at your house."

Lucca tried to put her foot down. "He is most certainly NOT!! I have kids to care for! And besides, you're the one with the four hundred and twenty room castle! You've got plenty of room!"

But Crono shook his head. "No, she's got a point, Lucca," he said slowly. "With his leg in the condition that it is, it'd be very hard to move him without injuring him further. He's probably better off here anyway; maybe you two can figure out a way to get him back to his own time."

"I am NOT helping that bastard, Crono!" Lucca shot back as she followed the duo back down the stairs and towards the front door. "He's so mean and rude and conceited and-"

"And you'll be able to dump him off faster if you just swallow your pride and help him," Crono cut her off as he pulled on his boots near the door. "I'm sorry, Lucca, I wish we could stay on and help you for awhile, but it's almost five and we've got a five mile walk back home. Not to mention it's REALLY embarrassing if they send the Guard out to look for us..." He rolled his eyes. "We'll try and come back for awhile tomorrow morning. I'm sure you'll have a lot on your hands." With a final wave he exited the house, leaving her with just Marle as she slipped on a pair of extravagant leather moccasins that had glittery sequins sewn onto the sides.

Lucca couldn't help but glare at her unblinkingly. (Gods, Marle, dumping me with HIM, of all people! And on purpose, no less! You must really want to make my life miserable...)

But Marle just flashed her a sugary sweet smile as she daintily laced up her shoes and began to head for the door herself. "Well, you have a good time now, Lucca! I'll see if I can find time for us to pop in tomorrow morning and maybe help you out a little. Until then, don't get too stressed out!" She had to emit a last giggle as she popped her head back inside the house, her purse dangling lazily from one arm. "Oh, and a point of advice for you, Lucca, from someone who knows it: those novellas that you buy at Fritz's really don't reflect the real world. I know you're desperate, but don't try seducing Magus now! I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate that." The door banged shut, bouncing a couple of times before it finally stood still.

The first impulse that Lucca had was to chuck a few rocks at her from behind as they went down the driveway, but knowing her painful coordination...well, there was always the chance that the rock might backfire and she could end up hitting herself. Instead she turned away and slowly walked up the stairs, fuming at her defeat and absolutely dreading the time that her insufferable charge would choose to wake up. (ARGH!! She is so...so STUPID!! This whole situation is STUPID!! How the hell did I ever manage to get myself knee deep in THIS crap?!)

(Oh yeah, because I'm me. Nice Lucca, steady ol' Lucca. Lucca-who-has-absolutely-no-life-so-that-we'll-dump-this-angry-PO'd-wizard-at-her-house-for-ten-months-so-that-she'll-go-insane. It's great to be me right now, ain't it?)

(And I DON'T read those novellas. Geez...I just buy one once when I'm sixteen and she lets me know about it for the next decade.)

She made her way back into the guest room and sat in the recliner situated across from Magus, who was still obviously out cold, seeing as she hadn't heard any demands or threats being issued towards her or anyone else around. She stared at him quizzically, her hands folded across her lap as she gently rocked back and forth.

It was very hard to believe that it was even him, for more reasons than just the fact that time travel had been rendered impossible by their group more than ten years ago. No, there was something else...she couldn't quite put her finger on it, really. Perhaps it was just as simple as the fact that he was in La-La Land right now, from which he couldn't move, talk, or -well- be Magus.

And the fact that he was Magus had a lot to do with her not wanting to keep him here in the first place. Although Lucca knew that when face-to-face with him he wasn't nearly as fearsome as the history books had made him out to be (he was actually a little more on the arrogant and annoying side), she really didn't want her kids to be exposed to him. He definitely had a penchant for trying to scare the crap out of people littler and weaker than him, and six year old children were obviously in that category. Hell, he had been able to do that to her when she was in her TEENS. She remembered some of the little spats they had gotten into back during her travels quite well...

But he wasn't getting anywhere with her, she had decided somewhere between the time he had been found and when the others had left. She might have been a little intimidated by him and his arrogant, bossy manner back in her adventuring days with Crono and the gang, but back then she had been awkward, gawky, and only sixteen years old. And twelve years should have been able to change something about that, right? Right?! She had had ENOUGH.

But the fact that he was even in this time period unnerved her still more than their hatred of each other. (And what the HELL is he doing here in the first place?! I mean, didn't he go back to 12,000 B.C. to find Schala?! Unless he really knows what he's doing there's no possible way to time travel anymore. This could mean that someone else besides us is screwing around with time...) That last thought alone was enough to frighten her out of her wits. And it wasn't impossible either, as much as Crono and Marle had always tried to dissuade her out of it. A lot of damage could be done throughout history if the concept of time travel was to fall into the wrong hands...

Lucca continued to stare at his form, rising and falling under the covers with each breath he took, trying to find a way for this to all make sense. (This is weirder than weird. For all I know this Magus might not have met me yet---geez, what if he tries to hurt me or something?! This can't be goo-)

"Sis?" The voice suddenly broke through her deep reverie, causing her to jump in her chair before she realized that its owner was just Kid, who in all the chaos she had completely forgotten about, along with the other children. Shit...having Magus around was already starting to complicate things!

"Er---" Kid continued, unable to take her eyes off the slumbering Magus, "everyone's starting to get really hungry. I know you might be busy, but-"

"Oh, sorry!" Lucca immediately stood up and began to head for the doorway. "Sorry, I just got so caught up in all this, I completely forgot-" She stopped talking when she noticed that Kid continued to look askance at everyone's favorite warlock. "Oh, you don't have to worry about him. He doesn't bite or anything." (At least not when he's asleep,) she did not care to add.

Kid shook her head. "It's not that, Sis. I know he's fast asleep, but...but..." She paused momentarily, fumbling for the right words. "He looks kinda -oh I don't know- familiar or something."

"But I know you've never seen him, Kid!" Lucca put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "I haven't even seen him for at least ten years!"

"I know...That's what's so weird." She gave Lucca a puzzled look and then headed down the hallway, her blonde pigtails bouncing lightly behind her.

Deciding to check on her aggravatingly handsome charge before she left the room herself, Lucca walked up to the side of the bed and felt Magus's forehead, making sure that a fever hadn't cropped up in reaction to his injuries. The absolute LAST thing she needed for him to do right now was to start-

She suddenly wrinkled her nose in disgust. Wait a minute---had she just thought of him as handsome?! She had, hadn't she?! Calling that insufferable know-it-all handsome...maybe she needed to get some thicker glasses.

But he really wasn't all that bad-looking, she mused as she smoothed his fine blue hair back from his forehead a little longer than she should have. Especially when that constipated grimace he always had on his face when awake was gone. Without it he actually looked sort of normal. Without it she noticed his high cheekbones...evenly complexioned skin (although perhaps a little white)...a high aristocratic nose...and, of course, that long, flowing hair...

Suddenly she jumped, drawing her hand back as if it had been burned. "Ugh, what am I thinking?!" she said out loud, turning for the door. "The man's a complete ass, for crying out loud! No amount of good looks could ever attract anyone to that--that arrogant SNOB!" She left for the kitchen, feeling quite ashamed of herself, and especially of her right hand, which, as just demonstrated, seemed to have recently acquired a mind of its own.

Maybe Marle, in her own cruel way, hadn't been far from the mark. Maybe she was starting to get a little desperate.

Author's Note: Yes, I'm ashamed of where this is going, and yes, they WILL be annoying the hell out of each other when he wakes up next chapter. I won't get into much into name-calling or anything like that, though. I've done a LuMa like that before, and though I thought it was funny, it made me wonder if I should write a whacked-out sequel involving them going to divorce court or something. They were calling each other something literally EVERY OTHER LINE... Oh, and does anyone think Marle is OC? Over a decade has passed, so perhaps she's had a lot of time to get snobby and out-of-touch with everyone, but should I tone her down a bit?

Anyways, if ya liked it, hated it, or whatever, please drop a review if you will. Reviews are cool! :)