A/N: I love writing this. Thank you for the reviews, the support means a lot.
*
And The Dead Unite
*
Pausing briefly to sort his Hawaiian-style grass hula skirt (is that stereotypical of me? Snerk), Cole wipes a bead of sweat from his brow and stoops a little so his face is at the same level as Prue's, and he hides behind her peering over her shoulder while she parts two blades of grass to spy on whatever was making that rustling noise which has just disturbed and frightened them both greatly.
"I'm NOT scared," Prue growls, her eyes flicking upwards in annoyance. "Will you quit deciding how I feel?"
Sorry.
"Good," she mutters, then narrows her eyes into the clearing in the grassy jungle her two-inch tall self and the two-inch tall Cole have found themselves in. "I can't see anything," she reports.
Her companion suggests it's because she's squinted her eyes so tightly, they're practically closed.
Clucking in irritation, Prue secretly acknowledges he's correct, and opens her eyes. "Uh oh," she intones at the sight in front of her eyes. "Ants." There's a swishing noise which Prue conceives to be the sound of Cole's grass skirt rustling as he runs in the opposite direction. "Not so fast," she calls after him.
He doesn't return.
Panicked, Prue begins to hobble after him. "Seriously!" she yells. "Not so fast! I can't keep up with you - I'm wearing restrictive leather pants!" But it's too late; he's already gone. Stopping, Prue bends double and attempts to catch her breath, pushing air out of her lungs and pulling it back in hurriedly. "What an asshole!" she bitches. "Now what am I gonna do?"
Prue then realises she never wanted to be lumped with the idiot Cole in the first place, so should really be quite happy.
"Hey! I just realised something-"
Yes Prue, we know.
"No, not that!" scowls an angry Halliwell. "Dammit, KT, will you quit jumping to conclusions already?"
But it's what I do! I jump! Ask Mari!
Frowning, the witch clicks her tongue and begins to walk back to where she saw the ants. Two of them, she's spotted, scrabbling around in the dirt for something or other that Prue didn't really care to find out about. After about twenty-seven point three seconds of walking (but who's counting?), Prue arrives in the clearing and announces herself with a loud clearing of her throat.
The ants look up suddenly, as if somebody has just cleared their throat in order to gain their attention. They regard Prue with bulbous eyes, and chitter to each other before advancing with spindly legs a-movin' and pointy pincers a-snappin'.
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," ponders Prue as she finds herself seized by the larger of the two ants and held firmly in it's jaws.
Pleased with themselves at their catch, the ants scuttle off to their large home to present this royal, succulent meal to their queen. She will be very pleased, oh yes. Very pleased indee-
"Did you just call me succulent?" Prue chokes, slightly delayed, with a look of disgust.
Um...
Anyways...
Cole! Let's see what happened to Cole!
"Prue?" yells the demon in question, fighting his way through the humid leafs of juicy green gras- "Do you have to call it juicy? Now I want to eat it!" Siging loudly, Cole sits down on a small mound of dirt and arranges his skirt to cover up his manhood. It takes him only a second. "Oh shut up," he growls.
A scrabbling noise distracts his attention momentarily, and he leaps into the air in time to defend himself from the KILLER LADYBIRD! Oh wait, it's not killer at all. In fact, it looks downright pleasant.
Quivering slightly in apprehensive fear, Cole extends a vibrating hand and fingers the nape of the ladybird's neck softly. It warms to his touch, giving a small, delighted squeal, and causes him to almost have an embolism when it's wings suddenly snap open and it takes off into the air.
The sound of the buzzing deafens Cole as he tries to yell at the insect, attempting to gain some sort of understanding. But before he can initiate further contact, the ladybird hovers higher into the air and suddenly speeds off out of sight. The fluttering of its wings created a small gale-force wind as it did so, knocking Cole off his feet and sending him sprawling over the dirt ground.
"All right, that's it!" Cole yells. "I'm gonna get some pants!"
After much foraging, Cole, as unlikely as it seems, finds a pair of black jeans casually tied up on a thin strand of root, stretched between two daisy stalks. He doesn't think twice before grabbing them and putting them on. Brushing out his chest hair in a satisfactory manner, Cole breathes in a gulp of air and turns around, finally realising Prue isn't with him.
Frowning through the Botox, the demon negotiates his way through the grass, pausing every few seconds to shudder whenever he hears a strange, unidentifiable sound; a rustling or snapping. "Prue?" he calls, his voice barely above a whisper. "Prue, where are you?"
"You!" comes a fiery voice from behind him. Whipping around, Cole starts when he sees a yellow-blonde, pale-faced woman glaring at him.
Eyes wide, Cole stumbles backwards and trips over the uneven ground, landing softly on his back. He keeps staring shakily at the woman in front of him while scrambling away, rather unsuccessfully. "Paige?" he splutters, shocked and afraid.
As the woman's eyes harden and narrow, she steps forwards and all of a sudden her hair is raven black, emphasising her skin even more. "No," she snarls. "My name is Rose McGowan." As she speaks, her hair changes once more to the Paige he is more familiar with; a volumous redhead. "And," she intones with menace, "you are wearing my boyfriend's pants."
In shock, the demon glances down at his perfect-fit black jeans, then up at Paige McRose, or whatever her name is, and sees her hair is now a fawny, throwaway blonde. "What are you?" he cries, horrified.
Rose suddenly powerwalks right over to him as if she is an understudy for The Ring, and kneels down, leering into his face. "Something you have only had nightmares about," she growls. "I am... an actress."
Suddenly, she turns into a crow, which begins to grow and spread and grow some more. Cole presumes, once she finally stops and looms over him impassively, that she is probably the size of a regular crow, as he is so miniscule at this particular moment.
The Crow, white-faced (presumably as it IS Rose McGowan we're dealing with here, and also some strange references to a movie) with black stripes across its beak, cocks its head in a birdlike manner, funnily enough, and sets its beady eyes onto Cole.
The demon swallows with some difficulty the fear that has risen into his throat, and begins to back off.
"I've just realised this story doesn't make sense," he suddenly stutters.
No kidding. What is it now?
"How come we're apparently two inches tall, yet the ants were huge?"
What can I say? We have as much continuity as Charmed over here at Charmeded Studios.
"I keep forgetting you're using us for cheap entertainment," Cole sighs, still backing away from the massive gothic crow.
Yeah, well, just don't tell Prue. I'm sure she'd find some way to become human-sized again and find me and commence the biggest ass-kicking in history. In fact, I think I'm gonna modify your memory so you can't tell her.
Within seconds, Cole has no idea what he was just talking about. The crow butts into the narrative with a sharp caw, and takes a step towards the anxious Cole.
"What's it gonna do?" the demon quivers.
It's going to eat him. And before he asks why, it's because crows thrive on this sort of thing. Look, it's thriving already! Oh ew, it just thrived all over Cole... someone should really hand him a towel.
"Can't we just be friends?" he screams as the giant average-sized crow lunges down over him, its beak gaping open, and snaps him up into its mouth, swallowing him whole. With a satisfied caw, the crow shakes out its feathers and takes off.
Once it arrives on its usual perch on an old, decrepit oak tree, the crow morphs back into Rose McGowan, sporting her raven-black hair.
"I'd prefer crow-black," she mutters absent-mindedly, patting her stomach.
Okay... fine. Crow-black.
Even though that sounds stupid.
*
And The Dead Unite
*
Pausing briefly to sort his Hawaiian-style grass hula skirt (is that stereotypical of me? Snerk), Cole wipes a bead of sweat from his brow and stoops a little so his face is at the same level as Prue's, and he hides behind her peering over her shoulder while she parts two blades of grass to spy on whatever was making that rustling noise which has just disturbed and frightened them both greatly.
"I'm NOT scared," Prue growls, her eyes flicking upwards in annoyance. "Will you quit deciding how I feel?"
Sorry.
"Good," she mutters, then narrows her eyes into the clearing in the grassy jungle her two-inch tall self and the two-inch tall Cole have found themselves in. "I can't see anything," she reports.
Her companion suggests it's because she's squinted her eyes so tightly, they're practically closed.
Clucking in irritation, Prue secretly acknowledges he's correct, and opens her eyes. "Uh oh," she intones at the sight in front of her eyes. "Ants." There's a swishing noise which Prue conceives to be the sound of Cole's grass skirt rustling as he runs in the opposite direction. "Not so fast," she calls after him.
He doesn't return.
Panicked, Prue begins to hobble after him. "Seriously!" she yells. "Not so fast! I can't keep up with you - I'm wearing restrictive leather pants!" But it's too late; he's already gone. Stopping, Prue bends double and attempts to catch her breath, pushing air out of her lungs and pulling it back in hurriedly. "What an asshole!" she bitches. "Now what am I gonna do?"
Prue then realises she never wanted to be lumped with the idiot Cole in the first place, so should really be quite happy.
"Hey! I just realised something-"
Yes Prue, we know.
"No, not that!" scowls an angry Halliwell. "Dammit, KT, will you quit jumping to conclusions already?"
But it's what I do! I jump! Ask Mari!
Frowning, the witch clicks her tongue and begins to walk back to where she saw the ants. Two of them, she's spotted, scrabbling around in the dirt for something or other that Prue didn't really care to find out about. After about twenty-seven point three seconds of walking (but who's counting?), Prue arrives in the clearing and announces herself with a loud clearing of her throat.
The ants look up suddenly, as if somebody has just cleared their throat in order to gain their attention. They regard Prue with bulbous eyes, and chitter to each other before advancing with spindly legs a-movin' and pointy pincers a-snappin'.
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," ponders Prue as she finds herself seized by the larger of the two ants and held firmly in it's jaws.
Pleased with themselves at their catch, the ants scuttle off to their large home to present this royal, succulent meal to their queen. She will be very pleased, oh yes. Very pleased indee-
"Did you just call me succulent?" Prue chokes, slightly delayed, with a look of disgust.
Um...
Anyways...
Cole! Let's see what happened to Cole!
"Prue?" yells the demon in question, fighting his way through the humid leafs of juicy green gras- "Do you have to call it juicy? Now I want to eat it!" Siging loudly, Cole sits down on a small mound of dirt and arranges his skirt to cover up his manhood. It takes him only a second. "Oh shut up," he growls.
A scrabbling noise distracts his attention momentarily, and he leaps into the air in time to defend himself from the KILLER LADYBIRD! Oh wait, it's not killer at all. In fact, it looks downright pleasant.
Quivering slightly in apprehensive fear, Cole extends a vibrating hand and fingers the nape of the ladybird's neck softly. It warms to his touch, giving a small, delighted squeal, and causes him to almost have an embolism when it's wings suddenly snap open and it takes off into the air.
The sound of the buzzing deafens Cole as he tries to yell at the insect, attempting to gain some sort of understanding. But before he can initiate further contact, the ladybird hovers higher into the air and suddenly speeds off out of sight. The fluttering of its wings created a small gale-force wind as it did so, knocking Cole off his feet and sending him sprawling over the dirt ground.
"All right, that's it!" Cole yells. "I'm gonna get some pants!"
After much foraging, Cole, as unlikely as it seems, finds a pair of black jeans casually tied up on a thin strand of root, stretched between two daisy stalks. He doesn't think twice before grabbing them and putting them on. Brushing out his chest hair in a satisfactory manner, Cole breathes in a gulp of air and turns around, finally realising Prue isn't with him.
Frowning through the Botox, the demon negotiates his way through the grass, pausing every few seconds to shudder whenever he hears a strange, unidentifiable sound; a rustling or snapping. "Prue?" he calls, his voice barely above a whisper. "Prue, where are you?"
"You!" comes a fiery voice from behind him. Whipping around, Cole starts when he sees a yellow-blonde, pale-faced woman glaring at him.
Eyes wide, Cole stumbles backwards and trips over the uneven ground, landing softly on his back. He keeps staring shakily at the woman in front of him while scrambling away, rather unsuccessfully. "Paige?" he splutters, shocked and afraid.
As the woman's eyes harden and narrow, she steps forwards and all of a sudden her hair is raven black, emphasising her skin even more. "No," she snarls. "My name is Rose McGowan." As she speaks, her hair changes once more to the Paige he is more familiar with; a volumous redhead. "And," she intones with menace, "you are wearing my boyfriend's pants."
In shock, the demon glances down at his perfect-fit black jeans, then up at Paige McRose, or whatever her name is, and sees her hair is now a fawny, throwaway blonde. "What are you?" he cries, horrified.
Rose suddenly powerwalks right over to him as if she is an understudy for The Ring, and kneels down, leering into his face. "Something you have only had nightmares about," she growls. "I am... an actress."
Suddenly, she turns into a crow, which begins to grow and spread and grow some more. Cole presumes, once she finally stops and looms over him impassively, that she is probably the size of a regular crow, as he is so miniscule at this particular moment.
The Crow, white-faced (presumably as it IS Rose McGowan we're dealing with here, and also some strange references to a movie) with black stripes across its beak, cocks its head in a birdlike manner, funnily enough, and sets its beady eyes onto Cole.
The demon swallows with some difficulty the fear that has risen into his throat, and begins to back off.
"I've just realised this story doesn't make sense," he suddenly stutters.
No kidding. What is it now?
"How come we're apparently two inches tall, yet the ants were huge?"
What can I say? We have as much continuity as Charmed over here at Charmeded Studios.
"I keep forgetting you're using us for cheap entertainment," Cole sighs, still backing away from the massive gothic crow.
Yeah, well, just don't tell Prue. I'm sure she'd find some way to become human-sized again and find me and commence the biggest ass-kicking in history. In fact, I think I'm gonna modify your memory so you can't tell her.
Within seconds, Cole has no idea what he was just talking about. The crow butts into the narrative with a sharp caw, and takes a step towards the anxious Cole.
"What's it gonna do?" the demon quivers.
It's going to eat him. And before he asks why, it's because crows thrive on this sort of thing. Look, it's thriving already! Oh ew, it just thrived all over Cole... someone should really hand him a towel.
"Can't we just be friends?" he screams as the giant average-sized crow lunges down over him, its beak gaping open, and snaps him up into its mouth, swallowing him whole. With a satisfied caw, the crow shakes out its feathers and takes off.
Once it arrives on its usual perch on an old, decrepit oak tree, the crow morphs back into Rose McGowan, sporting her raven-black hair.
"I'd prefer crow-black," she mutters absent-mindedly, patting her stomach.
Okay... fine. Crow-black.
Even though that sounds stupid.