A/N: Wasssap?!?! Here's part 4 of my badness story!!! Thanks to all my reviewers, you guys are the motivation to me continuing this story!! I would like to ask though... Does anyone want a sequel??? I thought I would make DM and DMG go on a vacation to Cancun, Mexico!!!! I'll add in the same stupid crude humor, plus more duel monsters!!! So, If you want a sequel, just say so and I'll get to writing it!!
4: The Hospital!!!
*the DM and DMG fly out of the door of their home. They are on their way to the hospital...*
DM- *running* Hurry up!!
DMG- *walking like she has a corn cob up her ass* I'm trying!! *starts to run bowlegged*
DM- O.o Oh Ra! I can't be seen with you running like that! *covers his face*
DMG- I'm sorry master... *hangs her head, tears form in her green eyes*
DM- *guilt-stricken* It's o-kay... come on... *he picks her up on his back ((piggy back style!!)) and starts to run again*
-----------------------------------------HOSPITAL-------------------------------------------
*the DM goes up to the front desk, there's a nurse at it*
DM- Excuse me, ma'am? *the nurse looks up*
Nurse- Can I help you, Sir? *smiles*
DM- Um... Welll... I... *scratching his head* Ya see... she... well... um... with her... err... um... uh... yeah... and... yeah... *sweatdrop*
Nurse- *blinks twice* Umm... What was that??
DM- Well... err... uh... *blushing* she... she...
DMG- I'll take it from here, Darky. *DM sighs with relief* Well, I put a tampon-thingy where the sun don't shine... and it sorta got... stuck... up too far... *smiles innocitly and shyly*
Nurse- Oh... I see! You want the OR! I'll contact a surgeon!
DMG- O.o**** SURGEON?! ARE YOU GONNA CUT ME UP?! *puts her hands on her head and panics* Oh, RA NOOO!!! ((god...she panics a lot...))
DM- *puts his arms around her* Shhh... Shhh... It's alright. *he speaks sweetly* You're not going to be cut up. *he cups her chin with his hands* I'd never let anyone hurt you.
DMG- *smiles warmly and throws her arms around his neck* Thanks, Darky! *kisses him on the cheek*
DM- *blush*
Nurse- Aww... how sweet... You two must be boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?
DMG- *blushes wildly*
DM- Well... actually... we... we're just close friends... yeah... and... yeah... *blushing*
Nurse- Oh... alright... *buzzes the doctor* While you're both waiting for the doctor, you should fill these out! *hands the DM an ass-load of papers* You can sit over there!
DM- O.o Holy crap...
DMG- That's a lot of trees! *looking the pile up and down*
DM- No shit. *takes them all over to the waiting room and begins to fill them out* O-kay... name... Hmm... Should I put Dark Magician Girl?
DMG- I guess... unless you want to put what you called me that one night... at the movies!
DM- O.o*** Urm... No.
DMG- O-kay. *smiles*
DM- Sex... Fe- *cut off*
DMG- NO! I AM A VIRGIN! PUT NO DOWN!
DM- *sweatdrop* Uh... it doesn't mean it that way... It means... are you male or female.
DMG- Oh... yeah... Female then!
DM- Eyes... green... *smiling* hair... blond.
DMG- I don't really act like a blond, do I Darky? *snuggles his shoulder and gives puppy dog eyes*
DM- Uh... *sees the adorable face* NO! Not at all! You're as sharp as a tack! *thumbs up and winks*
DMG- Yes... I am smart... aren't I?
DM- Yeah... *under his breath* Just a bit ignorant is all...
*the doctor enters the room while DM is filling out the paperwork*
Doc- Hello! You are de patient I am to be seeing today, eh? *he's Russian*
DMG- Umm... Yeah, me.
Doc- Vright dis vway *she reluctantly follows him into the OR and DM is right behind her* Oh, no! *stops DM*
DM- What? What's wrong?
Doc- You vwill stay out here and do de papervwerk, boy! *pokes him in the forehead*
DM- Why can't I come with her? I don't want her to be alone!
Doc- You stay and do papervwerk! ALVRIGHT?! *angry*
DM- Alright... fine... *sits back down*
Doc- *walks down the hall, mumbling* Damn pushy Americans! Alvways vwith der complaining!...
DMG- Hmm... *to herself* we're not American?! *looks at DM one last time* Bye, Darky... *blows him a kiss and leaves*
DM- *catches the "kiss"* Take care...
--------------------------2 hours later------------------------------------------------
*he finishes the paperwork and goes to the OR to look for DMG*
DM- Hmm... *looks in all the rooms* She's not here... ((the search is on!!!))
*the DM looks high and low for his faithful partner, but she is nowhere to be found*
DM- Dammit! Where is she?! *worried* I hope she's alright. *he's stopped in the hall by a man holding a plastic cup*
Man- Random Drug Test, Sir!
DM- Huh?! Wha?
Man- Pee in this cup. * holds it out to him*
DM- What?! You can't just...
Man- Oh, yes I can! Now do it or you'll be facing some charges!
DM- Alright... *takes the cup and begins to walk away*
Man- Whoa! Hold it right there! *stops DM*
DM- What!? What is it now!? *frustrated*
Man- You have to do it here.
DM- O.o What?! In the hallway?! Are you nuts?!
Man- Nope, but its the only way I'll know if you did it or not! Now, fill 'er up!
DM- Turn around then! I don't want you looking!
Man- I'm afraid I can't do that. You could run off! NOW DO IT!
DM- FINE! RA! *ready's himself to piss in the cup*
Man- DO IT!
DM- I am! I am! *doin' it*
Man- Hmm... Not too shabby... you must get the ladies easy, huh?
DM- O.o What?! What do you mean?!
Man- I mean, you got what they want... not too big... not too small...
DM- O.o WTF??? Are you looking at my dick?! *finishes and steps back from the man*
Man- Well... alright... tell me... *gets closer to DM* What do you think? *unzips his pants and whips it out* Do I have a chance?... Be honest man!
DM- O.o*** WOULD YOU JUST... HERE... TAKE THE PISS AND JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, O-KAY! *DM backs off and runs away*
Man- Damn... Happens every time...
*the DM finally stumbles apon the right room, there's a nurse in there with DMG, explaining how a tampon works*
Nurse- Then you leave the string down and... You're done!
DMG- Wow! That's really easy! *happily* Thank you!
Nurse- Sure. You're very welcome! *goes to leave and sees DM standing out the doorway* Oh... I think your way home is here!
DMG- *sees DM and gets up to go to him* YAY! *she hops into his arms* Darky! ^__^
DM- *blushes* I'm glad you're alright now... Are you ready to go home?
DMG- Mmm-hmm! ^__^
*they leave the hospital, headed home*
------------------HOME-------------------------------------------------------
DM- Oh Ra... What a day...
DMG- *yawns and sits down on the couch* I'm sooo tired...
DM- You should probably go to bed, huh? *he got no reply, she was fast asleep* Poor girl. *he picked her up and he put her to bed, kissing her forehead as he left her room*
*he flopped on the couch himself, just thinking about the crazy events of the past few days. Suddenly, a knock came to the door*
DM- *answers it* Hello? *a squad of cops rush in and grab him. They cuff him* What's going on?!
Cop- You're under arrest, buddy! *they haul him out*
****BUM BUM BUM!!! That'll be pt 5! Which will be split into two separate parts because it's so freakin' long!!! It was 13 front and back notebook pages!!! DAMN!!!! - GF
4: The Hospital!!!
*the DM and DMG fly out of the door of their home. They are on their way to the hospital...*
DM- *running* Hurry up!!
DMG- *walking like she has a corn cob up her ass* I'm trying!! *starts to run bowlegged*
DM- O.o Oh Ra! I can't be seen with you running like that! *covers his face*
DMG- I'm sorry master... *hangs her head, tears form in her green eyes*
DM- *guilt-stricken* It's o-kay... come on... *he picks her up on his back ((piggy back style!!)) and starts to run again*
-----------------------------------------HOSPITAL-------------------------------------------
*the DM goes up to the front desk, there's a nurse at it*
DM- Excuse me, ma'am? *the nurse looks up*
Nurse- Can I help you, Sir? *smiles*
DM- Um... Welll... I... *scratching his head* Ya see... she... well... um... with her... err... um... uh... yeah... and... yeah... *sweatdrop*
Nurse- *blinks twice* Umm... What was that??
DM- Well... err... uh... *blushing* she... she...
DMG- I'll take it from here, Darky. *DM sighs with relief* Well, I put a tampon-thingy where the sun don't shine... and it sorta got... stuck... up too far... *smiles innocitly and shyly*
Nurse- Oh... I see! You want the OR! I'll contact a surgeon!
DMG- O.o**** SURGEON?! ARE YOU GONNA CUT ME UP?! *puts her hands on her head and panics* Oh, RA NOOO!!! ((god...she panics a lot...))
DM- *puts his arms around her* Shhh... Shhh... It's alright. *he speaks sweetly* You're not going to be cut up. *he cups her chin with his hands* I'd never let anyone hurt you.
DMG- *smiles warmly and throws her arms around his neck* Thanks, Darky! *kisses him on the cheek*
DM- *blush*
Nurse- Aww... how sweet... You two must be boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?
DMG- *blushes wildly*
DM- Well... actually... we... we're just close friends... yeah... and... yeah... *blushing*
Nurse- Oh... alright... *buzzes the doctor* While you're both waiting for the doctor, you should fill these out! *hands the DM an ass-load of papers* You can sit over there!
DM- O.o Holy crap...
DMG- That's a lot of trees! *looking the pile up and down*
DM- No shit. *takes them all over to the waiting room and begins to fill them out* O-kay... name... Hmm... Should I put Dark Magician Girl?
DMG- I guess... unless you want to put what you called me that one night... at the movies!
DM- O.o*** Urm... No.
DMG- O-kay. *smiles*
DM- Sex... Fe- *cut off*
DMG- NO! I AM A VIRGIN! PUT NO DOWN!
DM- *sweatdrop* Uh... it doesn't mean it that way... It means... are you male or female.
DMG- Oh... yeah... Female then!
DM- Eyes... green... *smiling* hair... blond.
DMG- I don't really act like a blond, do I Darky? *snuggles his shoulder and gives puppy dog eyes*
DM- Uh... *sees the adorable face* NO! Not at all! You're as sharp as a tack! *thumbs up and winks*
DMG- Yes... I am smart... aren't I?
DM- Yeah... *under his breath* Just a bit ignorant is all...
*the doctor enters the room while DM is filling out the paperwork*
Doc- Hello! You are de patient I am to be seeing today, eh? *he's Russian*
DMG- Umm... Yeah, me.
Doc- Vright dis vway *she reluctantly follows him into the OR and DM is right behind her* Oh, no! *stops DM*
DM- What? What's wrong?
Doc- You vwill stay out here and do de papervwerk, boy! *pokes him in the forehead*
DM- Why can't I come with her? I don't want her to be alone!
Doc- You stay and do papervwerk! ALVRIGHT?! *angry*
DM- Alright... fine... *sits back down*
Doc- *walks down the hall, mumbling* Damn pushy Americans! Alvways vwith der complaining!...
DMG- Hmm... *to herself* we're not American?! *looks at DM one last time* Bye, Darky... *blows him a kiss and leaves*
DM- *catches the "kiss"* Take care...
--------------------------2 hours later------------------------------------------------
*he finishes the paperwork and goes to the OR to look for DMG*
DM- Hmm... *looks in all the rooms* She's not here... ((the search is on!!!))
*the DM looks high and low for his faithful partner, but she is nowhere to be found*
DM- Dammit! Where is she?! *worried* I hope she's alright. *he's stopped in the hall by a man holding a plastic cup*
Man- Random Drug Test, Sir!
DM- Huh?! Wha?
Man- Pee in this cup. * holds it out to him*
DM- What?! You can't just...
Man- Oh, yes I can! Now do it or you'll be facing some charges!
DM- Alright... *takes the cup and begins to walk away*
Man- Whoa! Hold it right there! *stops DM*
DM- What!? What is it now!? *frustrated*
Man- You have to do it here.
DM- O.o What?! In the hallway?! Are you nuts?!
Man- Nope, but its the only way I'll know if you did it or not! Now, fill 'er up!
DM- Turn around then! I don't want you looking!
Man- I'm afraid I can't do that. You could run off! NOW DO IT!
DM- FINE! RA! *ready's himself to piss in the cup*
Man- DO IT!
DM- I am! I am! *doin' it*
Man- Hmm... Not too shabby... you must get the ladies easy, huh?
DM- O.o What?! What do you mean?!
Man- I mean, you got what they want... not too big... not too small...
DM- O.o WTF??? Are you looking at my dick?! *finishes and steps back from the man*
Man- Well... alright... tell me... *gets closer to DM* What do you think? *unzips his pants and whips it out* Do I have a chance?... Be honest man!
DM- O.o*** WOULD YOU JUST... HERE... TAKE THE PISS AND JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, O-KAY! *DM backs off and runs away*
Man- Damn... Happens every time...
*the DM finally stumbles apon the right room, there's a nurse in there with DMG, explaining how a tampon works*
Nurse- Then you leave the string down and... You're done!
DMG- Wow! That's really easy! *happily* Thank you!
Nurse- Sure. You're very welcome! *goes to leave and sees DM standing out the doorway* Oh... I think your way home is here!
DMG- *sees DM and gets up to go to him* YAY! *she hops into his arms* Darky! ^__^
DM- *blushes* I'm glad you're alright now... Are you ready to go home?
DMG- Mmm-hmm! ^__^
*they leave the hospital, headed home*
------------------HOME-------------------------------------------------------
DM- Oh Ra... What a day...
DMG- *yawns and sits down on the couch* I'm sooo tired...
DM- You should probably go to bed, huh? *he got no reply, she was fast asleep* Poor girl. *he picked her up and he put her to bed, kissing her forehead as he left her room*
*he flopped on the couch himself, just thinking about the crazy events of the past few days. Suddenly, a knock came to the door*
DM- *answers it* Hello? *a squad of cops rush in and grab him. They cuff him* What's going on?!
Cop- You're under arrest, buddy! *they haul him out*
****BUM BUM BUM!!! That'll be pt 5! Which will be split into two separate parts because it's so freakin' long!!! It was 13 front and back notebook pages!!! DAMN!!!! - GF