Title: One Time At The Magic Box, chapter 3
Author: Brin Londo5
Email: ogreblood@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 or mild R, due to language
Summary: Willow's cousin comes to visit. American Pie 1 & 2 crossover. Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series characters belong to Joss Wheadon, all hail the Joss-meister. Whoever owns American Pie and its characters, sure isn't me. No cash is being made, so there. Archive: Whoever wants it, just please ask first.
Author's Notes: AU Season 7. Tara survived, the First Evil Didn't. And remember, the Oz here is Chris Ostrieger from American Pie, not Daniel Osbourne from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
"So, let me get this straight, " Chris said, tossing the football to Xander, as they goofed off in the back yard, "This Spike guy, you guys trust him?"
"Well, Oz, (god, it's so weird to be calling someone ELSE Oz), if you EVER repeat what I'm about to say, I will deny it to my dying breath, you understand? If you'd asked me this a few years ago, I'd have freaked about the idea of Deadboy Jr. in there EVER being a friend to any of us. After all, when Spike first came to Sunnydale, he was here to kill Buffy."
"WHAT?!?" Chris/Oz gasped, and missed the ball completely. Stifler laughed and sat back into the hammock.
"Yeah, he'd been hired to kill Buff, because she's the Slayer, you know? Natural predator to the undead and all that. Spike was kinda famous, because he had already gotten two OTHER Slayers, that was where he got that nifty coat of his." Xander shrugged, then walked over to the cooler and grabbed a cola.
"And now he and Buffy are. . . ?" He said, picking the football up, and trading it for a cola as well, flopping down in one of the back yards lawn chairs.
"Complicated." Xander said, shrugging as he leaned against the wooden fence.
"Sounds like the understatement of the year."
"Yeah, that it does. Well, back when the Buffster was in her freshmen year of college, Spike came back, wanting to kill Buff. But, some military whackazoids calling themselves the Initiative captured him and put some sort of microchip in his noggin to prevent him from harming humans. I THINK that they wanted to see if they could train them to hunt their own kind, sort of anti-monster commandos or something." He held out a bag. "Chips?"
"Sort of like in that third Return of the Living Dead flick? And, no thanks. Scholarship, gotta watch my diet."
"Cool. Anyway, Spike escaped, and once he found out that he could still hurt MONSTERS, he started helping out. Have to admit, he came in real handy when Glory came to town."
"WHO?"
"The Almighty Glorificus, or something like that. A perpetually PMS'ed Goddess, who wanted to sacrifice Buffy's little sister in order to return home and destroy the universe. When her goons grabbed Spike by mistake, he wouldn't reveal where Dawn was, even under torture. Got to admit, he surprised us all, they tortured him to the point where even Giles was surprised he hadn't died a true death, but he didn't say anything." Xander shuddered at the memory. He'd never seen anything be that hurt and still function, much less act in an almost noble fashion.
"Go on."
"Well, Glory's minions grabbed Dawn, and were going to sacrifice her. Buffy and Spike went after her" Xander winced realizing bringing the Buffybot into the story would be just too confusing., "And Buffy, well, um. . .DIED trying to save Dawnie."
"Bullshit!" Stifler shouted.
"Nope, I can take you to Buffy's grave later in the day. It's really nice, and not too far from her mom's grave." Xander replied "Just don't let Spike hear you say that. Now that the chip's gone, he can kill people again."
"What was that about a soul, last night?" Oz asked.
"Vampires don't have souls, they're possessed dead bodies. The vampire demon patterns it's mind and personality off of the memories left chemically stored in the brain. According to Tara and An, he somehow went out and got his soul back."
"Are they really-?"
"Yep, Tara and Wills are real witches, magic and everything, and Anya used to be a Vengeance demon. Or, it looks like, is again. Hey, do me a favor, guys, and don't make any wishes around her. Vengeance demons are kind of like Genies, only the wishes tend to come out.well, icky."
"And Buffy? She's not a ghost or something, is she?"
"Nahh, Buffy's alive, Willow and Anya and me cast a spell and brought her back. Took nearly all of Summer Vacation to do it, though"
"From the DEAD?" Stifler all but yelled. "After THREE MONTHS? Dude, that's SICK!"
"Yeah, later we found out that because Buffy died trying to save the world, she got sent to Heaven. So, we, uh, kinda ripped her out of there, against her will. She was pretty shell-shocked, for a while, and none of us knew why. Well, no-one except Spike, she told him, right away."
"Why'd she tell HIM?" Stifler asked.
"Spike and Buffy.well, I hate to admit it, but they'd started getting. . . close, right before she died. Not spilling the beans after being tortured kind of impressed her. Spike always had a soft spot for Joyce and Dawn, even when he still wanted Buffy dead, and he kind of developed a obsessive little crush on her after they started working together." Xander looked VERY uncomfortable admitting that. Like he'd rather be enduring a root canal.
"Then, we found out that the Evil Trio of Nerds had it in for Buffy, so we all started trying to stop them from committing bank robberies and stuff. Things got WAAAAY out of control after Warren snapped and killed his girlfriend, then tried to pin it on Buffy."
"He what?" Oz asked.
""Yeah, that was our reaction, too. The little freak twisted it all around in his own head so that to him, his actions were all Buffy's fault. After Buffy stopped his last scheme, he went ape-shit, and came here with a frikkin' gun."
"You're serious?" Oz asked.
"Yeah, I'm serious. That was only a couple of weeks ago." Xander took a long, slow draw on his cola, then leaned back against the fence again. "Stupid me, I didn't see the gun. When Warren showed up, I just went and tackled him. The gun went off and the bullet went through Willow's window. Tara got hit." Xander looked down in shame. "The bullet missed hitting Tara's Vena Cava By an eighth of an inch. Broke her shoulder blade and collarbone, instead. Because of me, my best friend nearly lost the one person she loves, in the big-time, long haul kind of way."
"Xander Harris, I never want to hear you blame yourself about me getting hurt again!" Tara said, standing in the back door. "If you hadn't knocked Warren down, he would have shot and killed Buffy!" She walked over and gingerly hugged the shame-faced Scooby. "Then, he probably would have shot you, and maybe even Willow and me, as well. You didn't risk my life, Xander, you saved it! And Willow and I will be eternally grateful you did!"
"Thanks Tara, but I DID nearly get you killed."
"Nonsense. Warren nearly got me killed. And because you tackled him long enough for Buffy to knock him out, He's in jail now, big-time. The only person you nearly got killed was YOU, you big dummy. Which is why Willow and I want you to be our best man at our hand-fasting ceremony, when we eventually get around to it."
"You-you do?"
"Yeah, you're our big brother, don't you know that? Although, when Buffy finally quits denying the way she feels about Spike, Willow might have to be acting as their best man, too."
"Okay, I SO did not want to be reminded that the two of them were sleeping together this spring." Xander shuddered melodramatically.
"Get used to it, Xan-man." Tara said, ruffling his dark hair. "Now that he's got a soul, she may have lost her last excuse to resist his charms."
"GHAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Xander pantomimed gagging, as the others laughed.
"Hey, Harris, later tonight, after the two blondes trim down the town's undead population, you guys show us this nightclub in town, what was it, the Bronze? Michelle couldn't quit jabbering away about it on the trip out here." Stifler asked.
"Yeah, she said Willow claims that it's the best nightclub in town?" Oz added.
"Well, except for Willie's, which is a demon bar, it's the ONLY club in town. Sounds good, and it's Karaoke Night, so it should be hopping! Let's ask the others, and if it's cool, it's a go!"
TBC? Or is this a good enough end, guys?
Author: Brin Londo5
Email: ogreblood@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 or mild R, due to language
Summary: Willow's cousin comes to visit. American Pie 1 & 2 crossover. Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series characters belong to Joss Wheadon, all hail the Joss-meister. Whoever owns American Pie and its characters, sure isn't me. No cash is being made, so there. Archive: Whoever wants it, just please ask first.
Author's Notes: AU Season 7. Tara survived, the First Evil Didn't. And remember, the Oz here is Chris Ostrieger from American Pie, not Daniel Osbourne from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
"So, let me get this straight, " Chris said, tossing the football to Xander, as they goofed off in the back yard, "This Spike guy, you guys trust him?"
"Well, Oz, (god, it's so weird to be calling someone ELSE Oz), if you EVER repeat what I'm about to say, I will deny it to my dying breath, you understand? If you'd asked me this a few years ago, I'd have freaked about the idea of Deadboy Jr. in there EVER being a friend to any of us. After all, when Spike first came to Sunnydale, he was here to kill Buffy."
"WHAT?!?" Chris/Oz gasped, and missed the ball completely. Stifler laughed and sat back into the hammock.
"Yeah, he'd been hired to kill Buff, because she's the Slayer, you know? Natural predator to the undead and all that. Spike was kinda famous, because he had already gotten two OTHER Slayers, that was where he got that nifty coat of his." Xander shrugged, then walked over to the cooler and grabbed a cola.
"And now he and Buffy are. . . ?" He said, picking the football up, and trading it for a cola as well, flopping down in one of the back yards lawn chairs.
"Complicated." Xander said, shrugging as he leaned against the wooden fence.
"Sounds like the understatement of the year."
"Yeah, that it does. Well, back when the Buffster was in her freshmen year of college, Spike came back, wanting to kill Buff. But, some military whackazoids calling themselves the Initiative captured him and put some sort of microchip in his noggin to prevent him from harming humans. I THINK that they wanted to see if they could train them to hunt their own kind, sort of anti-monster commandos or something." He held out a bag. "Chips?"
"Sort of like in that third Return of the Living Dead flick? And, no thanks. Scholarship, gotta watch my diet."
"Cool. Anyway, Spike escaped, and once he found out that he could still hurt MONSTERS, he started helping out. Have to admit, he came in real handy when Glory came to town."
"WHO?"
"The Almighty Glorificus, or something like that. A perpetually PMS'ed Goddess, who wanted to sacrifice Buffy's little sister in order to return home and destroy the universe. When her goons grabbed Spike by mistake, he wouldn't reveal where Dawn was, even under torture. Got to admit, he surprised us all, they tortured him to the point where even Giles was surprised he hadn't died a true death, but he didn't say anything." Xander shuddered at the memory. He'd never seen anything be that hurt and still function, much less act in an almost noble fashion.
"Go on."
"Well, Glory's minions grabbed Dawn, and were going to sacrifice her. Buffy and Spike went after her" Xander winced realizing bringing the Buffybot into the story would be just too confusing., "And Buffy, well, um. . .DIED trying to save Dawnie."
"Bullshit!" Stifler shouted.
"Nope, I can take you to Buffy's grave later in the day. It's really nice, and not too far from her mom's grave." Xander replied "Just don't let Spike hear you say that. Now that the chip's gone, he can kill people again."
"What was that about a soul, last night?" Oz asked.
"Vampires don't have souls, they're possessed dead bodies. The vampire demon patterns it's mind and personality off of the memories left chemically stored in the brain. According to Tara and An, he somehow went out and got his soul back."
"Are they really-?"
"Yep, Tara and Wills are real witches, magic and everything, and Anya used to be a Vengeance demon. Or, it looks like, is again. Hey, do me a favor, guys, and don't make any wishes around her. Vengeance demons are kind of like Genies, only the wishes tend to come out.well, icky."
"And Buffy? She's not a ghost or something, is she?"
"Nahh, Buffy's alive, Willow and Anya and me cast a spell and brought her back. Took nearly all of Summer Vacation to do it, though"
"From the DEAD?" Stifler all but yelled. "After THREE MONTHS? Dude, that's SICK!"
"Yeah, later we found out that because Buffy died trying to save the world, she got sent to Heaven. So, we, uh, kinda ripped her out of there, against her will. She was pretty shell-shocked, for a while, and none of us knew why. Well, no-one except Spike, she told him, right away."
"Why'd she tell HIM?" Stifler asked.
"Spike and Buffy.well, I hate to admit it, but they'd started getting. . . close, right before she died. Not spilling the beans after being tortured kind of impressed her. Spike always had a soft spot for Joyce and Dawn, even when he still wanted Buffy dead, and he kind of developed a obsessive little crush on her after they started working together." Xander looked VERY uncomfortable admitting that. Like he'd rather be enduring a root canal.
"Then, we found out that the Evil Trio of Nerds had it in for Buffy, so we all started trying to stop them from committing bank robberies and stuff. Things got WAAAAY out of control after Warren snapped and killed his girlfriend, then tried to pin it on Buffy."
"He what?" Oz asked.
""Yeah, that was our reaction, too. The little freak twisted it all around in his own head so that to him, his actions were all Buffy's fault. After Buffy stopped his last scheme, he went ape-shit, and came here with a frikkin' gun."
"You're serious?" Oz asked.
"Yeah, I'm serious. That was only a couple of weeks ago." Xander took a long, slow draw on his cola, then leaned back against the fence again. "Stupid me, I didn't see the gun. When Warren showed up, I just went and tackled him. The gun went off and the bullet went through Willow's window. Tara got hit." Xander looked down in shame. "The bullet missed hitting Tara's Vena Cava By an eighth of an inch. Broke her shoulder blade and collarbone, instead. Because of me, my best friend nearly lost the one person she loves, in the big-time, long haul kind of way."
"Xander Harris, I never want to hear you blame yourself about me getting hurt again!" Tara said, standing in the back door. "If you hadn't knocked Warren down, he would have shot and killed Buffy!" She walked over and gingerly hugged the shame-faced Scooby. "Then, he probably would have shot you, and maybe even Willow and me, as well. You didn't risk my life, Xander, you saved it! And Willow and I will be eternally grateful you did!"
"Thanks Tara, but I DID nearly get you killed."
"Nonsense. Warren nearly got me killed. And because you tackled him long enough for Buffy to knock him out, He's in jail now, big-time. The only person you nearly got killed was YOU, you big dummy. Which is why Willow and I want you to be our best man at our hand-fasting ceremony, when we eventually get around to it."
"You-you do?"
"Yeah, you're our big brother, don't you know that? Although, when Buffy finally quits denying the way she feels about Spike, Willow might have to be acting as their best man, too."
"Okay, I SO did not want to be reminded that the two of them were sleeping together this spring." Xander shuddered melodramatically.
"Get used to it, Xan-man." Tara said, ruffling his dark hair. "Now that he's got a soul, she may have lost her last excuse to resist his charms."
"GHAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Xander pantomimed gagging, as the others laughed.
"Hey, Harris, later tonight, after the two blondes trim down the town's undead population, you guys show us this nightclub in town, what was it, the Bronze? Michelle couldn't quit jabbering away about it on the trip out here." Stifler asked.
"Yeah, she said Willow claims that it's the best nightclub in town?" Oz added.
"Well, except for Willie's, which is a demon bar, it's the ONLY club in town. Sounds good, and it's Karaoke Night, so it should be hopping! Let's ask the others, and if it's cool, it's a go!"
TBC? Or is this a good enough end, guys?