Chapter Three
Kurt woke and saw that the sun was streaming through the cracks of the blinds which covered the window across the room. Kurt yawned widely and tried to stretch but the movement sent pain throughout his lower body. He gasped and cuddled back into the hard thing next to him. Wait, the hard thing next to him? Blinking owlishly to himself he looked up and saw Remy lying beside him. He was on his back, head turned towards Kurt, eyes still closed and the occasional soft snore coming from his lips. Remy lifted his arm when Kurt cuddled closer; still not waking simply doing so out of instinct and Kurt snuggled under it, sighing contentedly.
Kurt supposed that he should feel uncomfortable, he was in bed with a man after all, but he didn't, he felt safe and content, maybe not so alone anymore. He remembered Remy waking him several times during the night, always speaking quietly and reassuring him that he would be alright, it was okay now, he wasn't alone. The weird thing was that he could feel the truth in those words. So many people had said them to him before but always it had been a lie, just people saying things in the heat of the moment but never actually following through on what was said. He needed Remy to be there now, he could not deal with this alone.
It was just another horrible thing to add to a growing list. He thought it ironic that the one thing that had caused him so much pain in the past had actually saved him this time. If those men hadn't broken his image inducer and become afraid of what he really was, then they would have done much worse, Kurt was sure. It didn't matter whether he looked normal or like a freak, it seemed that people would always hate him. He buried his face into Remy's side and wondered how long it would be before Remy realized this and left as well.
For now though, he could pretend that everything was fine. Remy really did care about him, really understood and wouldn't leave when he realized just how worthless Kurt really was. He was even worse now. Before he had only been a demon, now he was a demon whore. Who could ever possibly want him? He didn't even know why Remy bothered to help at all. Maybe it would have been better had Remy not found him at all. He could feel the tears coming again. God, he was so pathetic! He felt the hand that was resting on his side move and stiffened when he realized that Remy was waking up.
Remy felt Kurt stiffen beside him and took his hand away, afraid that he had done something to scare Kurt. Glancing down at Kurt's face, Remy saw no fear just foreboding. Lowering his shields, Remy let Kurt's emotions wash over him. He cringed at the strong feelings of abandonment and insecurity coming off of Kurt. He tightened his hold.
"What's de matter, cher?"
Kurt shook his head against Remy. "It's nothing." Kurt paused for a moment and Remy dropped a kiss to his forehead.
"Please tell me, I only want t' help," Remy whispered. Kurt seemed to break at the tender kiss that showed no disgust, only love.
"Why are you helping me?"
"I'm helping 'cause I care, Kurt."
Kurt let out a snort of disbelief. "Nobody really cares. They all leave! Why would they want to stay? Just look at me! I'm nothing but a demon freak and a whore on top of that! I'm nothing but a loser who always has to pretend that everything is all right! You'll leave too once you find out how worthless I am," Kurt whispered this last sentence and tried to pull away. Surely Remy would now realize the mistake he had made in helping Kurt and push him away anyhow. He felt Remy's embrace tighten around him and looked at Remy in astonishment. This was not the way it was supposed to happen.
"I'm not leaving y', Kurt, an' I certainly don' t'ink dat y' are a demon or a whore an' y' are definitely not worthless." As he said this, he poured feelings of security, pride and love into Kurt's mind. He felt Kurt begin to relax against him but didn't loosen his hold. "When I was a pup, I used t' live on de streets." Kurt looked up at him in confusion and Remy smiled sadly at him. "I had t' find a way t' survive 'cause I wasn' about t' give up. Even if it meant selling everyt'ing I had."
Kurt gawked at him in disbelief. "You mean you-" Remy nodded his head sadly.
"At first I tried t' stay away from all de pimps and johns on de streets, mais one day someone cornered me an' took what dey wanted. After dat I didn' have anyt'ing left t' protect so I sold myself. At least dat way I got money or food outta it."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Now dat y' know my past, do y' t'ink dat I'm a whore?" Kurt shook his head breathlessly, "When y' see my eyes do y' t'ink 'demon'?" Again Kurt shook his head. "When y' see both dose t'ings do y' t'ink dat I'm worthless?"
"No…" Kurt breathed.
"Den why would y' t'ink dat y' are? Y' an' me, Kurt, we be de same. So if you're a worthless demon whore den so am I."
"But you're not."
"Neit'er are y'." Kurt dropped his head and didn't answer. There was still doubt in his mind and Remy knew that it would take time to get over something like this. Remy reached over to the nightstand where he had left a glass of water and the bottle of aspirin the night before. He handed them to Kurt who took the pills without complaint. While the pain wasn't as bad anymore it was still there. "Y' hungry?"
"Kinda." Kurt's stomach growled and Remy smiled at him.
"I'll go an' buy us some food an' get us both a change of clot'es. Sound good?"
"Yeah, um, you're gonna leave?"
"Don' worry, I'll lock de door an' be back in an hour, 'kay?" Kurt nodded but didn't look too sure. He smoothed Kurt's wild hair down trying to reassure him. "One hour, I swear." He got off the bed and grabbing his now dry shirt off the floor, tugged it on and headed for the door. He gave Kurt one last look and was tempted to go back when he saw how small and alone Kurt looked, but they needed food and Kurt needed clothes. He slipped out of the room, making sure to lock the door after him. He'd have to hurry if he was to be back in an hour.
#
Kurt curled back up on the now empty bed, burying into the pillows and wrapping himself in the blankets. The sound of footsteps echoed on the sidewalk outside his room and his heart began to jackhammer in his chest. He held his breath in anticipation but the footsteps continued on past his door without even pausing. He let out a careful breath. The room turned silent and he could hear his own breath rasping out. The walls creaked some and he jumped, turning fearfully towards the sound. There was nothing there and he realized that it was probably just the boards settling.
He berated himself for being so foolish, nothing was going to get him in the hotel room and Remy would be back soon. He was surprised when Remy hadn't pushed him away earlier. Things were definitely not going the way that he had expected; Remy actually seemed to care about him. He couldn't figure out why. Aside from what he had told Remy earlier, they were supposed to be enemies but Remy was helping him. Shouldn't Remy have dragged him off to Magneto by now? He probably would have gotten praise for capturing one of the X-Men. Maybe he had actually gone to get Magneto now, but Remy's empathy told Kurt the truth. Remy truly wanted to help him, he hadn't been lying.
Kurt buried his head into the pillow and inhaled deeply, smelling Remy still on it. He remembered everything that had happened since Remy found him. Everything he did, every touch and every word, had been so gentle and tender. It was everything that he had ever wanted; he never wanted this to end. A sudden thought flashed through his mind, would Remy's kisses be as gentle as his touches or words? He jerked his head up at the thought. Where had that come from? He couldn't be attracted to Remy. Could he? This was Remy! Gambit, an Acolyte, his enemy! No way could he feel this way. But he could, he realized, and he did.
He cringed at himself. Like Remy would ever want him anyway. He couldn't stop thinking about how kind and even protective of him Remy was being. Who was to say that Remy even swung that way? Kurt had come to terms with the fact that he was bi some time ago. Had discussed it with Evan. But he was fooling himself that Remy might be as well. Besides, it was probably just gratitude he was feeling because Remy had helped him even when he didn't have to. He was simply feeling attracted to the first person that didn't show disgust or pity when looking at him, nothing would come of it. That thought disheartened him more than it should have.
He heard someone walk up to the door and the swipe of a card key through the lock. His heart began to beat madly again, not out of fear but out of nervousness. Remy was back and Kurt prayed that he wouldn't notice anything was different. Kurt would try and act like nothing changed. Those thoughts skittered away when Remy stepped into the room, a bag held in each hand. God, he was so gorgeous.
"Kurt, mon ami?" Remy took a few steps into the room, looking at Kurt with a mixture of confusion and concern. His face was blank, like he was in a trance. Remy worried that he had scared Kurt by leaving and began to berate himself mentally. "Y' okay, Kurt?"
"Uh, ja, I'm fine." Kurt could see that Remy didn't believe him.
"Wasn' gone t' long, was I? Tried t' hurry." Remy came over next to the bed and, after tossing the bags on it, sat down next to Kurt. Remy began rooting around in one of the bags.
"No, it's fine." Remy nodded and handed Kurt a pair of slacks and a t-shirt. Kurt looked at the clothes then down at himself, blushing fiercely when he realized he had nothing on. He took the clothes from Remy and looked around nervously. "Thanks, I'll just put these on and, uh…" He was going to start stuttering he knew it. Remy smiled at him and, grabbing some clothes for himself, headed to the bathroom.
"Just gonna grab a quick shower. Dere's food in de ot'er bag if you're hungry."
"'Kay," Kurt said as Remy closed the bathroom door. He dressed quickly, still blushing profusely, thanking God that it wouldn't show under his blue fur. He rifled through the other bag, finding sandwiches and water. He began to eat slowly, trying desperately not to think of Remy, in the shower, just across the room.
#
Remy couldn't help but smile to himself as he stripped out of his clothes and adjusted to water until it was almost to hot. He stepped beneath the spray and grabbing the shampoo began to lather up. He did not want to be away from Kurt any longer than he had to.
His smile broke into a grin for a moment. This had certainly not been the way he had expected to spend the last few days. He hated the way this had had to happen but at the same time he was glad that he could get to know Kurt. He was so different from what he showed everybody. He was sweet, sensitive, wanting nothing more than to be completely accepted. That was all Remy had ever wanted as well, to be with someone who wouldn't care about his past or his eyes, just someone who would love him unconditionally. Was it really so much for them to ask?
He finished his shower quickly, dressing and brushing his teeth with the toothbrush and paste that he had also got. Walking out of the bathroom, he laughed quietly when he saw Kurt sitting up on the bed, sandwich wrappers scattered around him. He cocked an eyebrow at Kurt.
"Hungry?" Kurt asked and handed him the last sandwich. Remy shook his head in amusement and took the sandwich. Their hands brushed and Kurt dropped his eyes in embarrassment. Remy looked at him in confusion. Why was Kurt suddenly acting uncomfortable? He had been fine before. Remy dug into the clothes bag and came out with another toothbrush for Kurt. Kurt grinned at him, grabbed the toothbrush and stood, relieved to find that there was very little pain.
Remy stared after him as he went into the bathroom. He wondered if Kurt was uncomfortable with him being a man. He had just been raped after all. Maybe it was time to contact the X-Men and let them take over. The thought saddened him. He didn't want to lose Kurt yet.
Feeling vaguely guilty, he opened his shields a little and let Kurt's emotions wash over him. That sense of abandonment was still there, though not as strong, a small tinge of pain and Remy did his best to draw it out of Kurt. Then sadness, which Remy could understand, mixed in with apprehension. Finally, affection and love flooded him and Remy drew back with a gasp. He tested the feeling again and the love was still there, stronger than most of the others. Did Kurt love him? Remy shook his head, more likely it was just gratitude for all that Remy had done. His empathy told him the truth though. It was love, there was nothing else, just true love.
Remy basked in the feelings for a moment. How often had he dreamed of finding someone like Kurt? Someone who would love him even after finding out about what he had had to do to survive. He wanted to confront Kurt with this, see if maybe they could have something together. However, he knew that now was not the time. Kurt had just been through something that no person should have to endure and certainly didn't need Remy making moves on him no matter how much he might want it. Remy would wait until Kurt was recovered and back with the X-Men again before saying anything.
Remy grinned when Kurt came back into the room, that shy, uncertain expression still on his face.
"How y' feelin', mon ami? Better?" Kurt nodded and yawned. "Y' tired?" Another sleepy nod. Remy shifted over on the bed and motioned for Kurt to join him. Kurt hesitated a moment then slid under the covers. "Get some sleep, mon ami," Remy whispered as Kurt dropped off. He reached into his pocket for his cards and laid out a game of solitaire.
#
Kurt woke sometime later to see that the sun was just beginning to set. He looked over at Remy who was propped up next to him staring disinterestedly at the TV. Remy turned to Kurt and smiled. Kurt smiled nervously back and Remy had to fight the urge to reach out and push back the bangs that always seemed to hang in Kurt's face.
"Have a good sleep?"
"Yeah." Remy shifted his attention back to the TV. He did not want to bring up the next subject but knew that he couldn't keep Kurt here forever.
"In a couple days I t'ink dat you'll be able t' go back t' de X-Men if y' want t'." Kurt was surprised to hear the note of sorrow to Remy's voice, like he didn't want Kurt to leave.
"I do want to go back. I thought about what you said and I know that they only want to help." He laughed slightly. "They're probably going nuts trying to find me. Are you going to go back to Magneto?"
Remy shrugged his shoulders. "Don' much know what I'm doing anymore. Don' get me wrong, I love Magneto like he was a fat'er, but what he's doin'-" Remy shook his head. "It's like he wants t' enslave de humans, rule dem. I don' agree wit' dat."
"Why not join the X-Men?" Kurt was practically singing inside. If he could convince Remy to join the X-Men then they wouldn't have to be apart. They could at least be friends without having to worry about anyone finding out and getting angry because Remy was an enemy.
"Don' really t'ink I'd be X-Men material."
"Why?"
"I ain't never gonna be de perfect good guy. Not like de rest of y'. I heard what Cyclops did t' Lance, I don' t'ink it would be any different f' me."
"Cyke just doesn't like Lance; they have this weird feud thing going. They would accept you though; it's what the X-Men are supposed to be about. I know the Professor would." Kurt was all but pleading with him now. He didn't want Remy to leave. "At least think about it?"
Remy sighed but nodded. "Okay, I'll t'ink about it." But he already knew the answer. Kurt wanted him there, therefore, he would be there.