Chapter Four
They wound up staying at the little hotel for another two days before Kurt decided that he was good enough to go back to the X-Men. They had not spoken again about Remy joining but Kurt prayed that he would. In those two days they had learned so much more about each other. There wasn't much else to do in the hotel room but talk and they could talk for hours, telling each other things that they had never told anyone else. Kurt also found that his feelings for Remy only increased.
They had continued to share the same bed, leaving the other one untouched. One thing that Kurt absolutely loved was how cuddly Remy was when he was asleep. Every day, they woke up wrapped around each other. Kurt spent a lot of the first day sleeping, nightmares plagued him but he would always wake to gentle touches and soft words. He loved Remy for that, for always being there for him, for caring enough to be there for him.
Sometimes, when Remy looked at him, Kurt could swear that he saw love burning in those garnet and onyx eyes. A few times, he had caught Remy watching from the corner of his eye. Could Remy also have feelings for him?
Kurt shook his head, he couldn't believe that. No one could ever love him, why would they want to? He knew that it was foolish to get his hopes up. Remy could probably have anyone he wanted, why settle for Kurt?
Now today he was supposed to head back to the X-Men. Remy would leave, maybe back to Magneto, maybe head off on his own but he certainly wouldn't join the X-Men just because Kurt had asked him to. Hell, he would probably be happy that he was finally getting rid of Kurt.
Remy had left two hours ago, not telling Kurt where, just that he had some business that he had to take care of and would be back shortly. Kurt forced himself up from the bed and shuffled his way to the bathroom. The pain was gone now and he figured that maybe a shower would help to dispel this depression that seemed to loom over him.
Once inside the bathroom, he stripped out of his clothes and turned to the shower. As he turned, he caught his reflection in the mirror and dropped his head in disgust and shame. How could anyone stand the sight of him? He knew that Remy had said that he wasn't a demon or a whore but he couldn't quite bring himself to believe it.
He raised his head again and glared at himself in the mirror. The bandages had been removed the other day, but he could still see the slight knot on his forehead. Blue fur, yellow eyes, he snorted at himself. Even other mutants were afraid of him, Kitty was proof of that. He was a freak and could barely stand the sight of himself anymore. If he couldn't even stand the sight of himself then who would?
He felt tempted to just shatter the glass so that he wouldn't have to look at himself anymore but he shook the thought away and stepped into the shower. He did not want Remy thinking that anything was wrong. Remy would question him if he found Kurt in the bathroom with a broken mirror and talking about this would mean bringing up his attraction. He did not want Remy to know, did not want to face his rejection.
He turned his face up to let the steamy water slide over him and turned his thoughts to other matters. Like the X-Men. They would want to know where he had been these past few days, were probably going crazy trying to find him right now. He felt bad for not contacting them but he didn't want them to know. He wouldn't be able to stand the pity or false understanding in their eyes.
He would have to tell them the truth, though. The Professor or Logan would know the moment that he started lying to them. Would he be able to show his face among the X-Men once they knew? They would all be disgusted with him, he was sure. Maybe they would kick him out, despise him for his weakness.
If they did let him stay it would be out of pity not because they wanted him to. Things would never be the same. He'd lose all his friends; everything he had worked so hard to gain here would be lost. Maybe he could leave with Remy and they could go somewhere far away from the X-Men. He laughed bitterly. Like Remy would want him tagging along. He was nothing but a burden.
He was jerked from his dismal thoughts when someone knocked on the bathroom door.
"Kurt, y' almost ready t' leave?"
Kurt almost told him no, he wasn't going anywhere but held his tongue and whispered, "Yes," instead. He heard Remy walk away and begin to gather the few things he had brought. Kurt forced his thoughts to stop and quickly finished his shower. He was sure that Remy couldn't wait to get rid of him.
He dressed quickly, finished cleaning up and stepped out of the bathroom. Remy was sitting across the room in one of the chairs, obviously waiting for him. Kurt swallowed, tried to stop his depression from showing and made his way over to Remy.
"I'm ready to go," he said, trying to sound happy about the prospect of heading home. He knew he failed when Remy raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him. Remy gestured for Kurt to take a seat in the chair opposite him and Kurt did so after a moment's hesitation.
"What's de matter, Kurt?" Remy almost laughed at the look of surprise on Kurt's face, when would people learn that it was impossible to lie to an empath?
"There's nothing the matter," Kurt said shyly.
"Don' lie t' me, mon ami. Can feel y' hurtin'. Y' scared t' go back t' de X-Men?" Kurt nodded, realizing that Remy already knew anyway and maybe talking about it would help. "Why?"
"I don't want to see the looks in their eyes when they find out what happened. I don't want them to kick me out or tell me what a loser I am," Kurt finished bitterly, voice full of self-hatred. Remy sighed and knelt in front of Kurt, taking Kurt's hands in his own.
"Told y' before dat dey aren't going t' hate y'. Dey care about y' and dey will help y' if y' let dem." There was such conviction in Remy's voice and Kurt looked at him, full of hope. He knew it was all true, he just needed to hear someone say it.
"I can't do this on my own," Kurt whispered.
"Y' don' have t'." Kurt looked down at Remy in surprise and locked gazes with him. "I'm not going anywhere; let me be dere for y'."
"You're coming? Staying?" Remy smiled at the look of hope in Kurt's eyes.
"Oui, I'm comin'. Not gonna let y' deal wit' dis on y' own. Told Magneto dat I wasn' coming back. I care about y' Kurt." Anything else Remy might have been about to say was forgotten as Kurt fell forward into his arms, holding him tightly. Remy held him back, surprised at the sudden show of affection. His resolve to wait to tell Kurt what he felt was fading. He wanted to be able to hold Kurt like this always.
When Kurt lifted his head from Remy's chest to gaze up at him, eyes sparkling with hope and love Remy couldn't help but drop a tender kiss to Kurt's brow. He let his hands tangle in Kurt's hair as he pushed it back.
"Remy…" Kurt breathed slightly nervous. No way could Remy's eyes actually be shining with want and love. Kurt figured that he must be having a really, really good dream, one that he hoped he wouldn't wake up from.
Remy looked down into eyes draped with love, showing no signs of fear or wanting to stop. Remy sighed and leaned in again, brushing his lips feather light over Kurt's in a tentative kiss. Kurt gasped at the contact and Remy drew back, afraid he had done something wrong.
"Please, don't stop…" Kurt whispered.
Remy didn't need to be told again and resumed the kiss, this time deepening it slightly, tracing the outside of Kurt's lips with his tongue and exploring Kurt's mouth when he opened in invitation, loving the candy taste.
Kurt felt like he was in heaven. He never wanted this perfect moment to stop. He couldn't believe it! Remy was kissing him, wanted him in that way. He slipped his hands around Remy's waist, pulling himself closer and opening his mouth. Remy tasted like smoke and spice and Kurt would never forget it.
He groaned when Remy drew away and had to force his now heavy eyes open. He looked into Remy's laughing, loving eyes and smiled shyly at him. They didn't release their holds on each other yet, just sat in comfortable silence.
"You're really going to stay?" Kurt asked uncertain of himself. He still couldn't figure out why Remy would want him.
"Oui, not going t' leave y', cher." Remy stroked his hands soothingly through Kurt's hair. Kurt looked confused.
"I don't understand. Why would you want me? I'm not worth-" Kurt was silenced by a finger over his lips.
"Y' are worth everything in de world and more. If I have t' spend de rest of eternity tryin' t' prove it t' y' den I will," Remy whispered passionately, leaning forward to claim Kurt's lips in another soul searing kiss.
Kurt surrendered to the kiss with equal passion. Maybe Remy was right, maybe he was worth it. He felt like a weight had been lifted from him, knew it was because he now had someone to help him carry it. He could face the X-Men with Remy at his side and in the end he knew that everything would be okay. Because now he had Remy and Remy had him. Maybe they had finally found what was missing from both their lives.
END??
A/N: Aww, it's the end and I can't really think of anything to say. I might do more but I'm not sure yet, we'll have to wait and see. If I do write more it won't be for awhile though. So, hope y'all enjoyed!! Please, don't forget to review :D