Disclaimer: With the following mandatory statements, I, Maien, pronounce
that I do not claim to hold or possess any kind of claim over the
characters and/or situations that are copyrighted to the Disney Company and
the Pirates of the Caribbean name.
Ah, what the hell. Just don't frickin' sue me.
A/N: Fun Fun Fun!
(Turtle comes up: "CHAPTERRRRRRRRRRRR TWOOOOOOO!") ________________________________________________________________________
"Bastard," Naida growled, but couldn't suppress the smile.
The pirate underneath her squirmed, and she carefully stepped off of him. Because it was beginning to look weird, riding the Captain.
"No need for crude language, love, I know yer angry at me," Jack replied, brushing off his shirt with lithe fingers. He smiled painfully and rubbed his chest. "You're getting heavy. How much do ye weigh now? 200? 300?"
Naida reached out and pulled the captain in by his swinging goatee. "Ye owe me a lot of money, Captain Jack Sparrow, and I intend ter get it from ye one way or 'nother."
Jack grinned sheepishly and pulled his face away, bending over to gather up something that had fallen. Rum, of course. What else? Pigeon jerky? He fondly fit the bottle to his palm and took a swig, walking a bit towards the house.
"Where are ye going?" Naida inquired, exasperated and slightly dazed. She kept an eye on him partly in case he did something sneaky, and partly in case his pants flew off him.
Flying pants are second only to flying corsets.
Jack only sauntered over to the door and rapped on it with his rum bottle, drinking a bit as it swung open. "Caroline!" he greeted as a blonde woman smiled coyly. She had breasts the size of watermelons. And had weird stripes like melons too. Tan lines.
Naida rolled her eyes. Another whore. There were whores everywhere; whores in the taverns, whores in the streets, and whores on top of other whores.
"Oh, Jack," she giggled as the captain pried his way into the house. "There was an ugly woman trying to come in."
"Ugly woman?" Naida shrieked, jumping up and managing to slip into the house before the whore shut the door. "Who ye be calling ugly when yer own head looks to be drowning in the crack of yer ass?"
Caroline looked disgustingly insulted. She turned to Jack, hanging onto his arm. "Darling, make that nasty girl go away."
Captain Jack Sparrow only leaned back to survey the two women through squinted eyes, his tan features working with an insane smile. Drunk devil, Naida complained to herself. Probably too drunk to tell if Caroline was a man.
Naida held onto her hat and jumped up the stairs, being careful to pinch Caroline as she went by. She wandered the dank hallways, brushing by some cheap vases and reaching out to steal some golden trinkets. Everyday is Christmas when you're a pirate.
"And today I'm gonna get Santa Claus," she muttered as she brushed by a cobweb and entered a musty room. Several of Jack's "effects" were thrown in a heap. "Sick, Jack, Sick," groaned Naida as she spied his undergarments. Hesitating a bit, she bent and stuffed those into her pocket. A souvenir, that's all, she told herself.
"What are ye doin', love?" Jack slurred from behind her. Naida spun around to see the captain leaning listlessly on the doorframe. "Why is one so pretty as yerself stealing something as dirty as me underwear?"
"Because ye obviously don't wear it," hissed Naida. Grinning, she went to grab Jack's hat and smiled when she saw his expression change to anxiety.
"Now put tha' back," he implored, striding forward.
Naida tightened her grip on the bit of ragged leather. "You call this a hat?" she teased, holding it up. "My grandmother wears corsets better than this." Then, in one sweeping motion, Naida tore the hat in two. If hats could scream, this one would have been squealing.
Jack yelled and pulled out his pistol, pointing it at Naida. She only laughed, throwing the two halves of the hat away. Slowly she went forward until she was close enough to place her mouth over the pistol.
"I will shoot ye," Captain Jack Sparrow slurred, trying to focus on Naida's wobbling figure, "Make no mistake 'bout tha'"
For a second Naida considered running but decided that was stupid, because the only way she could run was into a wall. Running into walls is fun, but only when you don't have a bullet after you.
So Naida did what every damsel in distress does. She kicked Jack where it hurt.
And then kicked again, because she needed the exercise.
A/N: Ah, well, that's the second chapter. Please REVIEW and tell me how to improve, okay? And yes, I will work on putting Will into the next chapter. ^^ Bye now!
A/N: Fun Fun Fun!
(Turtle comes up: "CHAPTERRRRRRRRRRRR TWOOOOOOO!") ________________________________________________________________________
"Bastard," Naida growled, but couldn't suppress the smile.
The pirate underneath her squirmed, and she carefully stepped off of him. Because it was beginning to look weird, riding the Captain.
"No need for crude language, love, I know yer angry at me," Jack replied, brushing off his shirt with lithe fingers. He smiled painfully and rubbed his chest. "You're getting heavy. How much do ye weigh now? 200? 300?"
Naida reached out and pulled the captain in by his swinging goatee. "Ye owe me a lot of money, Captain Jack Sparrow, and I intend ter get it from ye one way or 'nother."
Jack grinned sheepishly and pulled his face away, bending over to gather up something that had fallen. Rum, of course. What else? Pigeon jerky? He fondly fit the bottle to his palm and took a swig, walking a bit towards the house.
"Where are ye going?" Naida inquired, exasperated and slightly dazed. She kept an eye on him partly in case he did something sneaky, and partly in case his pants flew off him.
Flying pants are second only to flying corsets.
Jack only sauntered over to the door and rapped on it with his rum bottle, drinking a bit as it swung open. "Caroline!" he greeted as a blonde woman smiled coyly. She had breasts the size of watermelons. And had weird stripes like melons too. Tan lines.
Naida rolled her eyes. Another whore. There were whores everywhere; whores in the taverns, whores in the streets, and whores on top of other whores.
"Oh, Jack," she giggled as the captain pried his way into the house. "There was an ugly woman trying to come in."
"Ugly woman?" Naida shrieked, jumping up and managing to slip into the house before the whore shut the door. "Who ye be calling ugly when yer own head looks to be drowning in the crack of yer ass?"
Caroline looked disgustingly insulted. She turned to Jack, hanging onto his arm. "Darling, make that nasty girl go away."
Captain Jack Sparrow only leaned back to survey the two women through squinted eyes, his tan features working with an insane smile. Drunk devil, Naida complained to herself. Probably too drunk to tell if Caroline was a man.
Naida held onto her hat and jumped up the stairs, being careful to pinch Caroline as she went by. She wandered the dank hallways, brushing by some cheap vases and reaching out to steal some golden trinkets. Everyday is Christmas when you're a pirate.
"And today I'm gonna get Santa Claus," she muttered as she brushed by a cobweb and entered a musty room. Several of Jack's "effects" were thrown in a heap. "Sick, Jack, Sick," groaned Naida as she spied his undergarments. Hesitating a bit, she bent and stuffed those into her pocket. A souvenir, that's all, she told herself.
"What are ye doin', love?" Jack slurred from behind her. Naida spun around to see the captain leaning listlessly on the doorframe. "Why is one so pretty as yerself stealing something as dirty as me underwear?"
"Because ye obviously don't wear it," hissed Naida. Grinning, she went to grab Jack's hat and smiled when she saw his expression change to anxiety.
"Now put tha' back," he implored, striding forward.
Naida tightened her grip on the bit of ragged leather. "You call this a hat?" she teased, holding it up. "My grandmother wears corsets better than this." Then, in one sweeping motion, Naida tore the hat in two. If hats could scream, this one would have been squealing.
Jack yelled and pulled out his pistol, pointing it at Naida. She only laughed, throwing the two halves of the hat away. Slowly she went forward until she was close enough to place her mouth over the pistol.
"I will shoot ye," Captain Jack Sparrow slurred, trying to focus on Naida's wobbling figure, "Make no mistake 'bout tha'"
For a second Naida considered running but decided that was stupid, because the only way she could run was into a wall. Running into walls is fun, but only when you don't have a bullet after you.
So Naida did what every damsel in distress does. She kicked Jack where it hurt.
And then kicked again, because she needed the exercise.
A/N: Ah, well, that's the second chapter. Please REVIEW and tell me how to improve, okay? And yes, I will work on putting Will into the next chapter. ^^ Bye now!