The Truth About Remus

Chapter Twenty

"Sunday classes are slack," James exclaimed as he took a muffin from the basket in the middle of the table, "I mean, its 6:30 in the morning and the only people who have to be here are sixth and seventh years! Damn N.E.W.T. classes…"

All I could do was nod and poke my waffles as everyone else replied in verbal agreement. I was still thinking about what I witnessed in Hogsmeade the previous night. There was something that was not right…an air hung over me. Maybe it was because I knew people had died last night and maybe it was because one of my best friends was there, in the midst of it, fighting on the wrong side. I wasn't able to make eye contact with Lily this morning and she herself hadn't made an effort to say a thing to me.

"Speaking of N.E.W.T. classes," I began, "I have to get to Potions early to start on today's lesson."

"Ani, class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes," Remus exclaimed as I stood up.

"I know," I replied and kissed him, "but I am in training to be an Auror which means that I have to work ten times harder than all of the other students."

He waved bye to me with a disappointed look on his face as I made my way down into the dungeons. The classroom was empty as I walked into the cold, dark room. I got down to work, setting up my ingredients, and reciting the poison's incantation.

"Obticeo, painless…insto."

I also set up to brew the antidote to this poison, curiously named "Anastasia", or "Resurrection". I was ready to brew as the bell rang and students began piling in. I smiled at Severus as he sat down beside me.

"I see this is going to be a day just like any other – Mrs. Anistasia Lupin is going to be the teacher's pet."

"To work hard does not qualify as being the teacher's pet," I told him as he sneered at me, "It means that I want to do well so I can become the best Auror I can be – or die trying."

Before Severus could reply, Professor Victor coughed loudly to gather everyone's attention and the room grew silent.

"This morning, we are going to brew one of the most lethal of poisons – does anyone know what it is," he asked the class, "How about you, Severus?"

"Saki," he said aloud, "It means 'death', but why give the poison such a final name when one can be saved from its effects?"

The professor laughed, "You have a point, Mr. Snape, a very good point indeed! Yes, today's poison is called Saki and its name does mean 'death', however, if given the antidote within five minutes of consuming or injecting it, you will live. The potion's life is two weeks whereas the antidote's life is three days. Speaking of the antidote, Anistasia, can you tell me the name of it?"

I smiled and nodded, "The antidote is called Anastasia which means 'resurrection', seeing as how once your consume the poison, you are killed instantly, like it says in the incantation, 'silent, painless…instant'. The only way to be resuscitated is with Anastasia, and like you said, Professor Victor, it must be administered almost immediately."

"Excellent, Mrs. Lupin," Professor Victor exclaimed.

"Excuse me, Professor ---"

The class turned to the back of the room to see Headmaster Dumbledore's head floating in the fireplace.

"Yes headmaster," he asked.

"I need to see Anistasia Lupin in my office immediately."

I stopped breathing.

Oh my Gods, I thought, this…he must have found out that Remus and I snuck out yesterday…I am about to be expelled…both of us…

I took a deep breath as Severus touched me on the shoulder.

"Are you okay," he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah fine."

I gathered my things and quickly strode out of the dungeons classroom, though, once in the corridor, I slowed my pace drastically.

Bye moisture covered dungeon walls, I thought, bye-bye doorway that leads to the main school building…I am going to miss you…

I reached the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to Headmaster Dumbledore's office much too soon. I approached it and, as though it knew that Dumbledore was expecting me, it began to turn. I stepped onto the spinning staircase and waited for my arrival at the top, though prayed that the staircase would become stuck or something. However, that didn't happen and, before I knew it, I was sitting in an armchair beside Remus, looking into the grave eyes of the Headmaster. We sat there, silent for a time, and the voices in my head began to speak to me in a frantic manner.

'Tell him,' they screamed, 'Confess! He already knows! If you confess then maybe he will allow you to stay!'

I ignored the voices and I ignored the sick spells that were threatening to wash over me. All I could do was sit and stare unblinkingly at my headmaster and try to read the expression on his face. It was impossible.

"Remus and Anistasia, there is a reason that I have called you both here."

His voice was steady and low, though I cringed as though he was screaming. When he opened his mouth again, I knew that he was winding up for the blow.

"Something unfortunate occurred last evening in Hogsmeade ---"

'Confess…confess…'

"Anistasia, sweetie…"

Oh, no…he is going to confront me first…

His next words were like a bullet to the head.

"Your mother died last night after she and a squad of Aurors confronted and dueled Lord Voldemort and a pack of Death Eaters," he told me and he looked close to tears himself, "I cannot express to you my sorrow ---"

All feeling had been sucked out of me. I felt as though my chest was caving in on my lungs – it was so hard for me to breathe – I was numb. My hand reached up to touch my cheek, and there was something there, something wet – a tear. I was crying.

I hit reality at 200 miles per hour and my head began to ache…my stomach began to tie into knots and by heart began to break. Suddenly more and more water flowed out of my eyes and, in no time, my cheeks and hands were covered in salty moisture. I was sobbing uncontrollably now and I fell forward out of the seat and onto my knees.

Remus wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him as I buried my face in his chest. I was unable to think. I didn't even really know what I was crying about – I just knew that I had heard words that had upset me greatly. I felt as though my soul had been torn from my body and was being ripped into little pieces before me…slowly, they sailed to the floor.

My mother was dead.

"No," I cried, "She can't be!"

Dumbledore told you so – it has to be true.

"Shhh, Ani," I heard Remus mumble into my ear, "Everything will be alright."

I couldn't stop crying, though. My mum was dead – my best female friend. She was always there for me, always gave me advice. I shared everything with her – we went on mother/daughter shopping sprees every summer and caught up with her on what she had missed while I was at school.

Nearly twenty minutes later, I felt the sprinklers shut off inside of me. I had caused a drought and was unable to shed another tear, though I stayed within Remus' embrace. It was my safe zone. Nothing from the outside world could touch me – nothing in the outside world was real.

"Ani," I heard him say, "we have to go pack."

"No…I want to stay right here."

"You can't. We have to go home."

"Please don't make me go," I begged, "Please don't let it be real."

Remus picked me up in is strong arms and sat me back on the chair.

"I know this is hard," he whispered to me, "but you can't be shielded from this. You can't pretend this didn't happen, Anistasia. You need to be a strong woman now, more than you were before."

I nodded and he kissed me on the forehead.

"I am going to go pack and I will get Lily to get your stuff. I will be back in thirty minutes," he informed me.

I nodded and sat back, staring at my feet stretched out in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Anistasia," Headmaster Dumbledore said quietly.

"Who did it," I asked, "Who?"

"A source of mine told me that it was Voldemort."

I grew angry, "Did this source also happen to mention that Lily Evans is one of Voldemort's minions?"

"So you know, too," he asked with a sigh, "We will talk with Ms. Evans once she and Mr. Lupin arrive."

We waited in silence. I couldn't speak as Lily walked in a few minutes later for fear that I would explode at her. 

"I'm…I'm sorry, Ani," Lily mumbled as she set my trunk beside my chair, "Your mother was a wonderful woman."

I snapped my head in her direction and opened my mouth to scream at her, but Dumbledore received the first word.

"Ms. Evans, would you take a seat with us for a moment," he asked.

"Certainly, Headmaster."

She sat down and everything was silent again – everything but the sound of the white-hot anger boiling up inside of me.

"Mrs. Lupin, you asked me if my source informed me that Ms. Evans was a Death Eater, correct," Headmaster Dumbledore asked and I nodded in response, "To answer your question, Ms. Evans is my source."

I raised my eyebrows and looked to Lily. She was sitting still.

"Lily ---"

"I told you that I would explain when the time was right," she said bitterly.

"I believe that this would be a good time to explain, and please, allow me," Dumbledore began and then cleared his throat, "Lily is a part of a group called the Order of the Phoenix, that which I am head of. There were rumors that some of the students were finding ways to sneak out of the school and join Voldemort's army. Ms. Evans was asked by another student to do this and she came straight to me. I asked her of she wanted to make the ultimate sacrifice and join the Order, and she accepted. Making this sacrifice, she went to Voldemort, bears the Mark and spies for me when she is called by him."

"Like I told you, Ani, my intentions are noble."

I nodded, "Has anyone that is a student here been caught and sent to Azkaban?"

"No," Lily told me, "none of the student can be. The Mark that we bear can only been seen by those who are trustworthy until we leave Hogwarts, so, if no one can see the Mark, there is no proof against them."

"But I saw it," I exclaimed, "I wouldn't join ranks with HIM!"

"I know – that is what puzzled me at first, but then I realized something," Lily told me, "You aren't untrustworthy to me. You wouldn't rat me out."

"But I just did – a few minutes before you came in."

"You did it out of anger. Other than that, you are an example of the perfect friend. Ani," Lily said quietly and although I wasn't looking at her, I could hear in her voice that she was nearly in tears, "Seeing what Voldemort did was almost unnerving, but I promise you, we will get our revenge."

"Thank you, Lily," I whispered, "I know that you are making the ultimate sacrifice by bearing that Mark – please be careful as you do."

She stood up and hugged me before kissing Remus on the cheek and leaving. After the large, oak door shut behind her, Dumbledore spoke to us.

"You will be leaving for two weeks as to give you time to recover. Mrs. Lupin, if you can be beside your fireplace at nine every night, you can receive instructions, lessons and homework from your N.E.W.T.'s lessons so you can stay caught up," he informed me, "If some nights are more unbearable than others, either Mr. Lupin can gather the instructions or you can wait another night."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

He led Remus and I to a carriage that took us to Hogsmeade Station. From there, we went home, and I was all the time wrapped in Remus' strong, protective arms.