Misguided Emotions Chapter 7: I Threw It Away, a speed racer fanfic

Chapter 7: I Threw It Away

Trixie felt like she was in a fairytale as the crowd continued to applaud loudly. When Jessie released her out of their embrace, she looked up into his eyes still shocked that he was famous and had sung a song which he had written for her.

Jessie was still thrilled that Trixie had shown up at the Blue Diamond at all. He had thought about her the whole night before and now he knew that she must have liked him at least a little bit.

Over on the far side of the bar, buried within the crowd, Speed felt like he was in a horrible nightmare or stuck in the Twilight Zone. A famous singer seemed to be head over heels for Trixie and he wasn't embarrassed to let the world know. Speed looked around at the crowd of people who obviously had liked Jessie's singing to Trixie. Suddenly, he spotted Sparky in the crowd about twenty feet away clapping happily. Speed then turned back to see Trixie and Jessie staring at each other and he didn't like it at all.

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Later that night, Sparky was woken up by someone beating on the door of his apartment. "Alright, alright," Sparky said annoyed by the continuous pounding.

Just after Sparky opened his door, Speed stomped inside. "I can't believe you!" Speed said heatedly as he looked accusingly at Sparky.

"What? What are you talking about?" Sparky asked now completely wide awake from Speed's rude entrance.

"You knew that singer...Jessie, was after Trixie and never told me anything," Speed said as if he and Trixie were still together.

"Come Again?" Sparky asked wondering how Speed had found out about Jessie.

"I saw you tonight!" Speed yelled fuming as he stood firmly in front of Sparky. "You were clapping like it was the happiest moment of your life to see that jerk serenade Trixie with his lousy song!"

"You were there?" Sparky asked in a bewildered voice as he scratched the back of his head.

"Yes, and you can't deny that you were there," Speed said furiously.

After letting out a small laugh at Speed, Sparky headed to his kitchen shaking his head as if Speed was making a big deal out of nothing.

Upset at Sparky for finding humor in what had happened at the club, Speed followed him into the kitchen and exclaimed, "I still can't believe that you never told me about this Jessie person!"

Sparky was still smiling as he began to open the refrigerator door.

Displeased even more because of his friend's smile, Speed pushed the refrigerator door closed, not letting Sparky get what he wanted out of it. "It's not funny and how could you not warn me about him!" Speed demanded.

Sparky became livid as he looked at his life long friend. "That's it! I've had enough of you!" he screamed raising his hands up as if in frustration he was going to strangle Speed. However, he brought his hands back down - his anger for Speed definitely not unnoticed. Forcing himself to speak calmly, Sparky said, "First off, I had no idea about Jessie. Second, Trixie is not your girlfriend anymore. You basically said you wanted to play the field!"

"And...I do," Speed said defending himself though he didn't quite feel that way anymore. Playing the field hadn't been as fun as he had thought it would be.

"Then what's your problem with this guy liking Trixie?" Sparky spat, feeling himself getting angry again. "You said you wanted her to meet other people!"

"My problem is with you!" Speed shouted just before roughly spinning away from Sparky to walk to the kitchen table.

"Me?" Sparky asked puzzled. "I already told you that I didn't know about Jessie."

Now looking as if he felt betrayed, Speed looked at the floor and said glumly, "I saw you clapping. You were extremely happy to see this guy Jessie making a play for Trixie."

Sparky let out a deep breath and then walked over to the table. He pulled out a chair to sit down as he said to Speed, "We need to talk."

Speed looked at Sparky and then sat down across from him.

"Speed. I was clapping because I was glad to finally see Trixie happy. She has been so depressed."

"And what else?" Speed asked knowing that Sparky wanted to get some more things off his chest because of how mad he had gotten.

"Okay," Sparky said looking away as he ran his hand through his hair. Turning back to Speed, the mechanic said with a stern face, "Don't you think that it gets on my nerves at times that you can get any woman you want? It's not like that for me."

Speed didn't know what to say. He knew he had had many girls' interest in him, but he couldn't help it if it wasn't that way for Sparky. "I'm sorry Sparky. You're such a nice guy and I know one day you'll find the right girl."

Sparky looked at his friend knowing he meant what he said. "Look Speed, besides your good looks, you are a good guy. I'm not trying to say at all that I think you're a jerk. You're far from it. It's just that in the past when other girls caught your attention, I didn't think you deserved Trixie. I felt you never deserved her at all when you...threw her away."

"I didn't throw her away," Speed said feeling snubbed as he gave Sparky a pouty face. "I wanted her to remain my friend. She's the one who broke all ties between us."

"I wasn't going to tell you this, Speed," Sparky said still not sure if he should, but he wanted him to know just how badly he had hurt Trixie.

"What?" Speed hesitantly asked almost afraid to find out.

"The day you broke up with Trixie, she told me that she thought you were going to propose to her."

It suddenly all came back to Speed how happy Trixie had been before he brought her into the office to break up with her. She had actually thought he was going to propose. They had spoken of marriage before but he had forced himself to forget when he decided to play the field. "I'm such a jerk," Speed said running his hands through his hair.

"Now you know why I was glad to see Trixie happy tonight. She deserves to be after being so...let down."

"But she just met this singer and he's acting like she's the girl of his dreams," Speed said as if he knew that Jessie was really just using her.

"I know it seems that Jessie has fallen for Trixie quickly," Sparky said now seeing more hurt and jealousy in Speed's eyes rather than anger. "The guy did say that they spoke for awhile when they met. I'm sure he found Trixie very...what's a good word to describe her? Captivating."

"Yeah?" Speed said irritated. "Well, I found Jessie very repulsive."

"I hate to tell you this, Buddy, but he was anything but that to all of the females in the Blue Diamond."

"Trixie will never become serious with him because she won't like all the girls that must chase after him all of the time."

"I don't know," Sparky said unconvinced. "She stuck with you and you had a bunch of girls chasing after you right in front of her face."

Speed knew Sparky was right. "Well that singer and her have nothing in common."

"I wouldn't say that. They both sure can sing," Sparky said suddenly thinking that seeing them sing together could be quite a show.

"You know she only sings for fun. She's never ever said that she wanted to make a career out of it."

"Maybe because she was always busy putting you and your career first," Sparky said hating to be so blunt, but thinking Speed needed to see that he had taken Trixie for granted at times.

"Her first love is flying," Speed said knowing that down deep he was right.

"Well...it doesn't matter," Sparky said yawning. "She's not yours anymore. You are the one who wanted to break up."

Speed hated that Sparky was right but couldn't help but be envious of Jessie wanting to take his place. That very day while on his date with Sandy, Speed had been reminded of how special Trixie was. He was starting to feel that he might have been wrong to let her go.

Speed soon found himself driving to Trixie's apartment and when he got there, he wasn't happy to see a limousine parked next to her car. Instantly, he knew who rode around in it. Wanting the Mach 5 out of sight, he parked it about a block away. Careful not to let Jessie's chauffeur see him, Speed ran back to the apartment building. Feeling like a Peeping Tom he began looking in through Trixie's windows. It was as if he couldn't help himself since he just had to know what Trixie and Jessie were doing in there. He was relieved to see the both of them by her door, meaning that Jessie was leaving. It also would give Speed time to make a move. Leaning his back against the outside of the apartment, Speed quietly made his way to the front. Kneeling down and hiding behind a huge bush, he watched as Trixie and Jessie stood outside the door now looking at each other. Jessie's back was to the young racer, but Speed only watched Trixie's pretty face looking up at the tall man.

Jessie soon took Trixie's hands in his and said softly, "I had a good time tonight."

"So did I," she said back just as softly.

"It's not over yet," Jessie said leaning down to her.

Trixie began to feel very nervous and turned away. Speed had been the only man she had kissed for such a long time now.

Turning till his back was facing the street, Jessie began to move backwards genlty pulling Trixie by her hands with him. He then backed down the two steps that lead up to her apartment - their faces now about at the same level.

"I'm sorry," she said knowing he was trying to make it easier for them to kiss each other now that he was only a little taller than she because he had stepped down. Shyly she said, "I just don't think I'm ready."

Yes! Speed thought happily, wondering why he also felt so relieved. I knew she wouldn't kiss him.

Jessie suddenly began looking around as if he had heard something.

"What?" Trixie asked seeing that he looked suspicious.

"I just thought I heard the press sneaking around," he said turning back to her.

Shoot, Speed thought not wanting to be caught. I knew I should have listened to that voice in my head that said not to do this. Trixie would probably want to put some of her karate moves on me for spying on her and that jerk.

"I don't see anyone," Trixie said looking around herself.

"Back to us then," Jessie said blowing off the noise he had heard as he stared into her eyes. "Are you sure that...you're not ready?" he asked, his lips suddenly just inches from hers.

Releasing his hands, and though hesitant at first, she then began to slowly wrap her arms around his neck.

Speed's eyes became wide not prepared for how he would feel as he watched Jessie's arms wrap around Trixie's petit body that Speed knew by heart of how it felt in his arms. Feeling that she was still his, Speed thought, Damn you, Jessie! Get your hands off of her. He remembered Trixie saying that she didn't kiss just anybody and the racer desperately thought, Please Trixie. Don't let him kiss you. Please, Baby. Don't I mean anything to you anymore? Don't let him make you forget me.

Trixie didn't know what she was feeling for Jessie and suddenly didn't care as she closed her eyes and moved her face even closer to his till their lips were touching. After her move she let him do the rest and that he did as he took control of their kiss.

Speed felt sick witnessing Trixie giving into the kiss - a strong one. It made him experience jealousy in full force and also made him feel a pain that cut like a knife straight through his heart. He felt choked up and as if he suddenly couldn't breathe. He had no real reason before to picture her kissing someone else and now he was grief-stricken as he watched. Turning away because he couldn't take it anymore, he stood up and ran off.

Once to the Mach 5, Speed couldn't bring himself to leap into it because his legs were trembling too much. He actually felt as if he had just caught Trixie cheating on him even though she had done no such thing. After opening the car's door, he got in and with pain in his voice he said, "I gotta get out of here." He then shoved the key into the ignition, started the Mach 5 and pulled off - the tires spinning first.

Backing out of their kiss after hearing the screeching sound, Jessie remarked, "Someone doesn't know how to drive."

"I think you're right," Trixie said still surprised at the kiss she had just shared with Jessie. A part of her wished Speed would have seen it but then she just knew that he wouldn't have cared since he had stressed that he wanted her to meet other people. The mature side of her then kicked in and she knew down deep that she wouldn't have wanted Speed to see her kissing Jessie. She wasn't the type of person to rub such a thing in someone's face. She just wished Speed would have felt as miserable as she had felt for just a little while at least.

As Jessie released Trixie from his arms, he looked around again to make sure no one was around. He could have sworn that he had heard something or someone moving around close by during the kiss, but at that time he didn't care.

"Worried about the press again?" Trixie asked as he turned back to her.

"I think they're starting to make me hear things," he joked as he backed away winking at Trixie. "I'll call you tomorrow, Green Eyes."

"Okay," she said giving him a smile.

While driving home, Speed thought of the stupid things he had done. He had dumped the most special person only to end up having lousy dates with others, he almost had a major fight with his best friend Sparky, and worse he may have pushed Trixie into Jessie's arms forever. "I can't stand that she...kissed someone, really kissed someone other than me!" Speed cried out while pounding his fist against the steering wheel as he sat at a stoplight. He had totally dismissed the kisses he had shared with other girls recently.

Pulling up in front of his house, Speed saw an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. After entering his house, Speed heard laughing and thought it was late for his parents to have company over.

"Hi, Honey," Mom Racer said standing up to greet her son. She then pulled him over to say hello to their company. "Speed. You remember our old friends, Patty and Bill. We have been catching up on old times, talking for hours."

Putting on a fake smile, Speed said, "Uh...hi, Mr. Bill, Ms. Patty."

They stood up to greet Speed.

"What a fine looking boy you have turned out to be," Ms. Patty said with a smile.

Mr. Bill joined in by saying, "I bet you have a bunch of girls chasing after you."

"Only one has caught him," Mom Racer said happily. "Her name is Trixie and she is so sweet and so very loyal to Speed."

Visions in his head of Trixie kissing Jessie made Speed feel sick as he looked down wondering how he was going to tell Mom Racer that he had forced Trixie's loyalty away.

Pops looked at his son and said, "In fact, I'm sure Speed just came from Trixie's apartment. Right, Son?"

"Yeah," Speed said unenthusiastically, desperate to change the subject. "Ms. Patty, Congratulations. I had no idea that you are pregnant."

Everyone stopped smiling and Ms. Patty said miserably, "I'm not expecting, I just gained weight."

Speed then realized that he had in fact made the night even worse.

Mom Racer, Pops and Mr. Bill began to try to reassure Ms. Patty that she looked great.

Feeling even more horrible than before, Speed snuck away and went up the stairs. Once up the stairs, he heard a little voice say, "Hi, Speedy." He then felt his little brother Spritle jump on his back.

"Come on, Spritle," Speed said sounding worn out. "I just wanna go to bed." Speed then gave Spritle a piggy back ride back into his room. He sat down on the small bed and gently began to peal Spritle's arms from around his neck. "Spritle. You should be sleeping."

"I can't because of all the laughing. Well...they were laughing," Spritle said now noticing that the laughter was gone, not knowing that Speed had accidentally insulted Ms. Patty.

Speed turned to see Chim Chim sound asleep in his little bed that was across the room from Spritle's. "Chim Chim slept through the laughing."

"Well...I guess I'm still awake too, because I've been hoping that you and Trixie would come home so I could hang out with you guys. I haven't done that in a long time."

Knowing that Spritle would soon find out anyway, Speed said sadly, "Trixie and I broke up."

"Does that me that she's not coming over anymore?" Spritle asked looking very sad.

"Yeah. Unfortunately she's...out of my life," Speed said trying to ignore the aching in his heart that hadn't stopped since seeing the kiss. He began to tuck Spritle in and then stood up to leave. As he approached the door, he gave one last look as his little brother.

"I'm gonna miss Trixie," Spritle whispered.

Speed just barely whispered back, "I'm afraid I will too."