Chapter 15: Don't Let Her Go
Trixie sat on her sofa and stared at the very familiar yellow gloves, which were on her hands. She felt closer to Speed wearing them as they helped her to forget that she was losing control of her life. A few minutes later, she pulled Speed's gloves off and laid them on her coffee table. She tried to think happy thoughts of her future husband, Jessie. She remembered how he had made her feel attractive again after the break up with Speed. However, she just wished that she had more in common with the singer. They both did sing very well, but singing wasn't her first love. She felt much more fulfillment in doing adventurous things such as being in races and helping others. She had loved being on the Go-Team, and Speed and she had made a great team. You're suppose to be concentrating on Jessie. Trixie told herself. Feeling sick, she remembered what Jessie said he would do to himself if she left him. If he hurt himself over her, she knew she couldn't live with herself. Why can't I be in love with Jessie instead of with Speed?
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Sparky entered the Racer's garage to see Speed sitting in the Mach 5 staring out into space. "Hey, Buddy," Sparky said walking over to him. "You have to start the car if you want it to move."
Speed didn't even flinch as he seemed to be staring through the steering wheel.
"Man, Speed," Sparky said leaning on the door of the Mach 5 to see what was wrong with his friend. "I don't think I've ever seen you this deep in thought. What is holding your mind prisoner?"
As his entranced eyes moved to Sparky, Speed let out a sigh and whispered, "I can't get Trixie off my mind."
"Oh," Sparky said thinking that he should have known. "I guess because of the press you heard about her engagement to Jessie."
Speed only nodded his head 'yes' that he knew.
"Speed. I'm sure you want her to be happy," Sparky said not having a clue that Speed and Trixie had spent a whole wonderful day together. He believed that Trixie was now in love with Jessie.
"Of course I want her to be happy," Speed said in all honesty.
"Well now you know how serious the consequences of your actions can turn out to be."
Squinting his eyes, Speed looked at Sparky in disbelief. I thought Sparky knew how much I regret wanting to play the field.
The mechanic soon pushed off the Mach 5 and folded his arms as he showed his disapproval of what Speed had done to Trixie. "You really screwed up. She couldn't just sit around and wait for you while you went out with every girl that you saw."
Somehow staying calm, Speed ground his teeth together and said slowly, "I did not go out with every girl I saw."
"You wanted to," Sparky insisted.
"No. I did not," Speed said about to lose it.
"You totally blew Trixie off because you wanted to be the ultimate stud!"
"Damn it, Sparky!" Speed exclaimed getting out of the Mach 5.
"Oops," Sparky whispered, his eyes widening in fear as he thought, When will I learn to shut-up before he blows up?
"Don't you think that I know that I screwed up the best relationship I ever had? You can't imagine how much I wish that Trixie was here with us getting ready for the next race! If it makes you feel any better, I do blame myself over her being with Jessie! Are you happy now, Sparky?" Speed yelled punching the wall right beside the mechanic.
Sparky was relieved that Speed hadn't punched him as he quickly moved away from that wall.
Holding the hand that had punched the hard surface, Speed said sadly, "Sparky. I thought you knew how much I still love her."
Relieved that Speed wasn't going to hammer him into the ground, Sparky said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so...insensitive."
"I know you think I deserve your comments, but believe me, I'm getting my punishment cause she's...marrying Jessie," Speed said miserably just before he walked back to the Mach 5.
"Where are you going?" Sparky asked as Speed leaped in and started the engine of the fast, white machine.
"I need to find Racer X," Speed said needing advice. For some strange reason it had always been easy for Speed to trust the Masked Racer. As Speed drove to the track, memories of just recently being in Trixie's apartment with her flooded his mind. He remembered the uncontrollable heat between them as Trixie kissed him and dug her nails into his back. When he had felt her arms initially wrap around him, he really thought she still wanted him; that he hadn't lost her after all, but he did. She was going to marry someone else.
At the track it was dark and dreary from an approaching storm so Speed wasn't surprised to see not many drivers as he drove up. However, as if a prayer had been answered, Racer X pulled up in his Shooting Star just at that moment. Both Speed and the Masked X then pulled their cars into the garage side by side. After they each exited their cars, they leaned their backs on the car doors and looked at each other.
"Can I talk to you, Racer X?" Speed asked looking like he seriously needed a friend.
"That's why I'm here, Speed. I saw the news on TV about Trixie's engagement and I figured I'd find you here needing to talk."
"You tried to tell me that I was making a mistake," Speed said knowing he should have listened. "You knew Trixie was special and that I should have never broken up with her."
"I thought you were both good for each other, Speed," Racer X said wanting to credit his little brother for the times his love for Trixie had been obvious.
"You even told me that you hoped she didn't find someone else while I was...checking out other options and that's just what she did," Speed said feeling like fool.
"Well...if it's any consolation," the Masked Racer said. "I don't think she went looking for anyone. I think Jessie went after her full force the first second he saw her."
"And it looks like he's getting what he wants," Speed said looking down at the ground.
"What do you want?" Racer X asked in that serious voice of his as if he already knew the answer.
Speed lifted his head to look back at the Masked Racer. "Are you kidding? I want Trixie back."
"Yes, I've known for awhile now," Racer X said clearly not surprised.
"You must have noticed there hasn't been any coverage on me with other girls on TV lately. It's because I don't want anyone else," Speed said disgusted at the thought of how the press was going to torture him with the coverage on Trixie and Jessie's wedding.
"Forget the press. Yesterday I noticed that you left the hospital with Trixie."
Speed suddenly smiled as he said in awe, "It was the best day. I swear, I'm so comfortable in every way with her, and I really didn't plan on ending up in her apartment." Not wanting to kiss and tell when it came to Trixie, especially since she was engaged, Speed became quiet - wishing he would have kept his mouth shut.
"You were alone with her in her apartment?" Racer X asked as Speed shifted uncomfortably against the Mach 5.
"We talked," Speed only said.
"Is that all, Speed?"
Speed looked away not saying anything.
Knowing that his little brother was holding something back, Racer X said, "There is a reason I'm asking. I want to help you."
Speed looked around as if making sure that the press wasn't nearby and knowing he could trust Racer X, said, "I told myself not to kiss her, but not knowing she was engaged yet, I couldn't keep my hands off of her anymore and..."
"The two of you kissed each other," Racer X said for Speed.
"Big time," Speed said as his eyes widened a second before staring off into space remembering.
"And did you like it?" Racer X asked with a grin.
"Did I like it? Kissing her has always blown my mind," Speed said amazed at the way she made him feel both emotionally and phyisically.
"When you kissed other girls, did it...blow your mind?" Racer X asked analyzing his little brother's love life.
"Trixie's the only girl I've ever kissed that makes me feel...weak," Speed admitted. Running both of his hands through his hair - almost wanting to pull it out, he said, "I don't know what came over me when I decided to see other people. And believe it or not, but what I miss the most with Trixie is the love and the trust that was between us."
"Sometimes we just don't see what we have till it's gone," Racer X said making Speed disappointed in himself that he had to realize the hard way how much he needed Trixie.
"It didn't take me long to see the huge mistake I made," Speed said miserably. "Even before Jessie came into the picture I had started to want Trixie back."
"Do you really love her?" Racer X asked already knowing the answer.
"Yes, I love her," Speed said boldly. "That's why I let her go. I just want her to be happy."
"I respect more than you know that you love her enough to put her happiness before your own, but is she really happy with Jessie?" The Masked Racer was pretty sure that Trixie felt the same way Speed did when they kissed the day before.
So glad that he and Racer X always seemed to be on the same page, Speed's expression showed that he was a bit unsure about if Trixie was really happy with Jessie. "That's what's troubling me. I asked her if she loves Jessie, and she wouldn't answer the question."
"Did she tell you she loves you?"
"Yes," Speed said feeling that pain again when she left his house after giving him her bow. "She came to my house later that night and told me that I'm the one she loves and that she always will. She also told me she couldn't go into why she has to marry Jessie. But now part of me thinks it's only because she gave him her word."
"No one should marry someone they're not in love with," Racer X said wondering why Trixie would go ahead with marrying Jessie when she was actually in love with Speed.
"Do you think I have a right to go after her even though she's engaged?" Speed asked, his blue eyes wide.
Racer X walked over to his little brother and put a hand on his shoulder and said, "If she was truly happy and truly in love with Jessie, I'd say no. But, we both know she's in love with you." Racer X then smiled and said, "I think in the back of your mind you have already planned to go after her, but I'll gladly give you a push by telling you...don't let her go."
Smiling back, Speed felt happiness take over his being since Racer X had confirmed that Speed did have every right to fight for the woman he loved.
"Trixie's happiness will be... if she's with you," the Masked Racer said as he released his grip on Speed's shoulder.
Speed felt as if he knew Racer X from somewhere else once again as he then shook his hand, grateful for the advice. He had said everything Speed needed to hear to make him feel entitled to go after the love of his life.
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Over at John's Karaoke Bar, John was trying to convince his friend Jessie to cancel the wedding.
"I will not cancel the wedding!" Jessie exclaimed, abruptly standing up from the table that he and John had been calmly speaking at only seconds before.
John then stood up as well. "Look, Jessie. You know I like Trixie. I think she's a great girl, but I don't think you two have known each other long enough to get married."
"Yes we have!" Jessie yelled back in John's face.
"I just don't get it!" John exclaimed now upset - only trying to watch out for his friend. "You can have practically anyone you want! Why would you want someone who has been all over the TV in pictures with her ex?" John watched in shock and then in fear as Jessie began to shake from getting so mad at the reminder of Speed Racer.
"John," Jessie said in a deep, almost scary voice, "She is mine, not Speed Racer's. He can't have something that I want, no one can. You know that I always get whom I want, and I want her. Do you get it? She's mine no matter what!"
Concern was obvious in John's voice as he said, "Alright, Jessie. Marry her. But I was just trying to say that you won't die if you don't marry her."
"That's where you're wrong," Jessie said looking very unstable as his light eyes seemed to darken. "I'm not used to not getting what I want and I already told her that I will take my own life if she leaves me."
John suddenly remembered how Jessie had acted after his fist fight with Speed. There in John's apartment, there had been signs that Jessie seemed to be losing control of his mind. However, John thought the signs were from the intense fight Jessie had just been in. When Trixie had left the room to go into the bathroom to get some clean rags to clean Jessie's cuts, Jessie had been clearly upset when he said, "Do you see what Racer did to me? He wants Trixie back. I swear if it's the last thing that I do, I will make sure that he never gets her back. I promise you now that I will make her mine...even against her will if I have to."
Back in the present at the karaoke Bar, John realized that Jessie's fame might have possibly gone to his head making him think that he should have anything or anyone he wanted. After all, Jessie never had a problem ever before in getting the girl that he wanted especially now since he was a star. However, he had never wanted someone as much as he wanted Trixie. He loved her innocence, her beautiful voice and even the fact that she had green eyes. Speed claiming that Trixie was his during their fight made Jessie's obsession with Trixie even worse. Plus, John knew that Jessie wasn't used to a girlfriend still having feelings for her ex. Jessie had always made females easily forget their ex-boyfriends because of his good looks and sweet manner.
"Just back off, John," Jessie said interrupting John's thoughts.
"Where are you going?" John asked wanting to know.
"Trixie and I are getting married today!" he exclaimed just before leaving through the door.