Chapter 3: Face-off with the Un-faceable
A/N: Well....Between someone threatening Kaoru and Kenshin Battousified, it seems we've quite a fight scene looming! Hehe, watch out Kenshin! This might not be what it seems!
Kenshin: Ororooo...Just what I need!
Disclaimer: Remember the hobo? With a lottery ticket? In Macy's? Well, I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin, I lost my lottery ticket, and my park bench is infested with termites. I think it's time to move. This nice lady with no teeth told me that someone is selling his box under the overpass. Now THAT'S a mobile home!
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8 *8*8*8*8*8*8*
Kenshin glares at his foe with immeasurable fury. How did this cretin manage to slip past him? Even now, as Kenshin studies the tall, dark-haired man, he still cannot feel his ki.
'Perhaps he is only hiding it. That is the only answer.' Battousai rationalizes. The man narrows his pale blue eyes before saying, "Why the angry stare Battousai? Don't tell me this is," The man pauses, gasping theatrically, "your woman?"
Battousai growls, and, not taking his eyes off the man, asks Kaoru, "Kaoru, do you know this man?" Kaoru looks behind her. "What man?" she asks innocently. Battousai snarls out a warning as once again the man takes a step closer to Kaoru.
"Do not force me to dismember you!" he screams as the man ignores him. One step away from Kaoru, the man halts his procession. Smirking, the man questions him again. "So. Is she your woman or not?"
"Get inside the dojo, Kaoru." Battousai snarls. "No! I'm not leaving you out here by yourself!" Kaoru cries, rushing over to him. Battousai smiles fondly at Kaoru before glaring at the man. "You. Ahou. What is your name?" he spits.
The man favors Battousai a glance that can only be described as insolent. "My name is Onda Noriyuki. And you are Himura the Battousai." Battousai snorts.
"Glad you're so quick. This could be interesting, what do you want?"
"What else Battousai? Your title as the greatest swordsman of the revolution!" Noriyuki declares with great fervor.
Well, with enough fervor to warrant a need to catch his breath.
"You...Noriyuki whatever the heck you said. You, my dear man, are what's defined as a waste of time. More importantly, a waste of MY time. I have killed many, but I do not slaughter children. You have the mind of an autistic two year old. Now, vacate the perimeter before your head vacates your shoulders." Battousai drawls in a bored voice.
Turning towards the dojo he catches Kaoru's eye. "Come. Let's go inside." Kaoru looks at Kenshin worriedly. When would he be normal again?
"Battousai!" Noriyuki screams, "Turn your back on me now and I swear I will not rest until that wench of yours dies by my sword!!"
Battousai freezes. "Noriyuki...do you have a death wish?" he asks coldly, slowly turning to face his winded opponent. Noriyuki's eyes are narrowed and his hand rests readily on the hilt of his sword. Battousai walks away from the dojo.
"Stay." He orders as Kaoru takes a step towards him. "You." He gestures to Noriyuki, "Come." And with that the Battousai draws back into a stance as formidable as his name.
Noriyuki's left eye twitches violently as he clenches his teeth. This stalemate lasts for half a minute before Noriyuki screams a battle cry and attacks. He covers roughly half the distance between the Battousai and himself before he falls over heaving for air.
Battousai stares for about a minute then quirks an eyebrow. "Ohhh. I'm scared." Battousai waves his sword mockingly and dances in a circle. "Save me! Oh Kami save me from the scary man!" Noriyuki shoots him a look that could have withered a dying moose.
Army-crawling to where Battousai is still dancing, Noriyuki heaves another great sigh before whacking the Battousai's sandaled foot with the hilt of his sword. The dancing immediately turns violent.
Battousai continues dancing, but in a more...heavy way. Furiously jumping on Noriyuki's back, Battousai is very satisfied with the resounding 'oof!' and 'nggh!' he's hearing. Contented that his foot has properly been paid respects for, Battousai daintily steps off Noriyuki.
Offering him a hand, Battousai stares until Noriyuki takes it. As soon as Noriyuki is back on his feet Battousai draws his sword and whacks him on the arm as hard as he can. "Ow..." Noriyuki complains. "That stung!" Battousai stares in wonder. His arm should have fallen off!
Shrugging Battousai steps back. "Draw your sword!" he commands. Battousai falls to the ground laughing hysterically as soon as Noriyuki's hand touches his hilt. "Who knew the great Battousai was such a GIRL." Noriyuki mutters.
Noriyuki gives his sword a mighty tug and...nothing happens. Battousai's giggling verges on girly. Hearing Noriyuki's comment he completely stops everything. Laughing, rolling, crying, you name it. He stopped it. Five very serious minutes of staring go by. Then Ten. Twenty. Then Battousai is once again rolling on the ground howling with laughter.
"I...super-glued...your sword!" he cries as tears run down his face. Suddenly he stands. "Now. You. Die." "WHAT?!" Noriyuki exclaims. Flicking his reverse-blade sword so that the sharp side faces out, Battousai closes his eyes and mumbles to himself.
"Pardon?" Noriyuki says, still struggling to unsheathe his sword. "What I said is between me and my sword!" Battousai snaps. "Well...sooo-rrry!" Noriyuki barely has time to say before he's hit with Battousai's attack.
"Hiten Mitsirugi Style Kuzu Ryusen!" Battousai calls, and Noriyuki explodes into 10 different pieces of body.
Kaoru suddenly notices that Kenshin is back. "Kenshin what's wrong!" she cries, seeing his distraught expression. "I...I...I JUST KILLED NORIYUKI!!!!" he stammers.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru says. "What are you talking about? There's no one there, and there hasn't been this whole time...come on now you're really freaking me out here!"
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8 *8*8*8*8*8*8*
A/N: Te HE! Wow what a chapter! Sorry all of you that thought Kenshin had really killed again...I could NEVER do that. ^_^ MMM.reviews are welcome!
A/N: Well....Between someone threatening Kaoru and Kenshin Battousified, it seems we've quite a fight scene looming! Hehe, watch out Kenshin! This might not be what it seems!
Kenshin: Ororooo...Just what I need!
Disclaimer: Remember the hobo? With a lottery ticket? In Macy's? Well, I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin, I lost my lottery ticket, and my park bench is infested with termites. I think it's time to move. This nice lady with no teeth told me that someone is selling his box under the overpass. Now THAT'S a mobile home!
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8 *8*8*8*8*8*8*
Kenshin glares at his foe with immeasurable fury. How did this cretin manage to slip past him? Even now, as Kenshin studies the tall, dark-haired man, he still cannot feel his ki.
'Perhaps he is only hiding it. That is the only answer.' Battousai rationalizes. The man narrows his pale blue eyes before saying, "Why the angry stare Battousai? Don't tell me this is," The man pauses, gasping theatrically, "your woman?"
Battousai growls, and, not taking his eyes off the man, asks Kaoru, "Kaoru, do you know this man?" Kaoru looks behind her. "What man?" she asks innocently. Battousai snarls out a warning as once again the man takes a step closer to Kaoru.
"Do not force me to dismember you!" he screams as the man ignores him. One step away from Kaoru, the man halts his procession. Smirking, the man questions him again. "So. Is she your woman or not?"
"Get inside the dojo, Kaoru." Battousai snarls. "No! I'm not leaving you out here by yourself!" Kaoru cries, rushing over to him. Battousai smiles fondly at Kaoru before glaring at the man. "You. Ahou. What is your name?" he spits.
The man favors Battousai a glance that can only be described as insolent. "My name is Onda Noriyuki. And you are Himura the Battousai." Battousai snorts.
"Glad you're so quick. This could be interesting, what do you want?"
"What else Battousai? Your title as the greatest swordsman of the revolution!" Noriyuki declares with great fervor.
Well, with enough fervor to warrant a need to catch his breath.
"You...Noriyuki whatever the heck you said. You, my dear man, are what's defined as a waste of time. More importantly, a waste of MY time. I have killed many, but I do not slaughter children. You have the mind of an autistic two year old. Now, vacate the perimeter before your head vacates your shoulders." Battousai drawls in a bored voice.
Turning towards the dojo he catches Kaoru's eye. "Come. Let's go inside." Kaoru looks at Kenshin worriedly. When would he be normal again?
"Battousai!" Noriyuki screams, "Turn your back on me now and I swear I will not rest until that wench of yours dies by my sword!!"
Battousai freezes. "Noriyuki...do you have a death wish?" he asks coldly, slowly turning to face his winded opponent. Noriyuki's eyes are narrowed and his hand rests readily on the hilt of his sword. Battousai walks away from the dojo.
"Stay." He orders as Kaoru takes a step towards him. "You." He gestures to Noriyuki, "Come." And with that the Battousai draws back into a stance as formidable as his name.
Noriyuki's left eye twitches violently as he clenches his teeth. This stalemate lasts for half a minute before Noriyuki screams a battle cry and attacks. He covers roughly half the distance between the Battousai and himself before he falls over heaving for air.
Battousai stares for about a minute then quirks an eyebrow. "Ohhh. I'm scared." Battousai waves his sword mockingly and dances in a circle. "Save me! Oh Kami save me from the scary man!" Noriyuki shoots him a look that could have withered a dying moose.
Army-crawling to where Battousai is still dancing, Noriyuki heaves another great sigh before whacking the Battousai's sandaled foot with the hilt of his sword. The dancing immediately turns violent.
Battousai continues dancing, but in a more...heavy way. Furiously jumping on Noriyuki's back, Battousai is very satisfied with the resounding 'oof!' and 'nggh!' he's hearing. Contented that his foot has properly been paid respects for, Battousai daintily steps off Noriyuki.
Offering him a hand, Battousai stares until Noriyuki takes it. As soon as Noriyuki is back on his feet Battousai draws his sword and whacks him on the arm as hard as he can. "Ow..." Noriyuki complains. "That stung!" Battousai stares in wonder. His arm should have fallen off!
Shrugging Battousai steps back. "Draw your sword!" he commands. Battousai falls to the ground laughing hysterically as soon as Noriyuki's hand touches his hilt. "Who knew the great Battousai was such a GIRL." Noriyuki mutters.
Noriyuki gives his sword a mighty tug and...nothing happens. Battousai's giggling verges on girly. Hearing Noriyuki's comment he completely stops everything. Laughing, rolling, crying, you name it. He stopped it. Five very serious minutes of staring go by. Then Ten. Twenty. Then Battousai is once again rolling on the ground howling with laughter.
"I...super-glued...your sword!" he cries as tears run down his face. Suddenly he stands. "Now. You. Die." "WHAT?!" Noriyuki exclaims. Flicking his reverse-blade sword so that the sharp side faces out, Battousai closes his eyes and mumbles to himself.
"Pardon?" Noriyuki says, still struggling to unsheathe his sword. "What I said is between me and my sword!" Battousai snaps. "Well...sooo-rrry!" Noriyuki barely has time to say before he's hit with Battousai's attack.
"Hiten Mitsirugi Style Kuzu Ryusen!" Battousai calls, and Noriyuki explodes into 10 different pieces of body.
Kaoru suddenly notices that Kenshin is back. "Kenshin what's wrong!" she cries, seeing his distraught expression. "I...I...I JUST KILLED NORIYUKI!!!!" he stammers.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru says. "What are you talking about? There's no one there, and there hasn't been this whole time...come on now you're really freaking me out here!"
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8 *8*8*8*8*8*8*
A/N: Te HE! Wow what a chapter! Sorry all of you that thought Kenshin had really killed again...I could NEVER do that. ^_^ MMM.reviews are welcome!