The next day Sabé cooked a huge breakfast for the three adults. She carefully set out the various fruits and breads on the table in a neat fashion. It was the least she could do to try to brighten everyone's mood. Once everything was in place, she quietly walked into Padmé's room, where she sat near the cribs. She was cradling one of the twins, and the other was lying down, squirming. "Milady," she said in a soft voice. "Are you ready to come to breakfast?"
Padmé looked up with a happy smile on her face. "Yes, I've finished feeding them, finally. Would you mind getting Luke?" she nodded her head toward the boy in the crib.
"Of course not," Sabé said warmly, swooping the child up carefully and following Padmé back to the dining area.
"Oh Sabé, it looks wonderful!" Padmé exclaimed in delight as she surveyed the table. There were two high chairs for the babies, and she set about strapping Leia into one as Sabé did the same for Luke. "There we go. Now I can finally eat something for myself!" She settled into a chair next to the twins, and Sabé took the one across from her.
"I hope everything takes okay," Sabé said after a few bites.
"It's great," Padmé said genuinely. For once she felt a measure of content, the first she'd felt in a long while. Despite what she knew was going on and had transpired outside the little refuge, she was able to focus on the wonderful meal, which made her happy. Then she noted the empty chair across from the twins, and her glow faded a little. "Where's Obi-Wan?"
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen him today. He must still be in his room. I can't imagine him having anywhere more important to be than here," Sabé said teasingly. Though Sabé made light of it, Padmé was a little bothered. She had seen how distressed Obi-Wan had been over his nightmare and knew he had skipped several meals lately. Sabé noticed Padmé's face fall a little and added, "I can go get him if you like."
"No, that's ok. I'll go. You stay here and enjoy these muffins while they're hot," she replied, taking one along as an afterthought. She reached Obi-Wan's door and tapped on it quietly, thinking how much they had been dropping in on one another lately.
"Come in," Obi-Wan's even, muffled voice said from inside.
Padmé entered to find the room somewhat dimly lit, and Obi-Wan standing with his hands behind his back and his eyes closed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your meditation," she said as she turned to leave.
"No, it's ok," he replied, his voice now lacking the trance-like quality. She stopped and turned back around to see him, eyes weary, looking exhausted. "It wasn't working very well anyway."
She wondered exactly what that meant, but decided to switch the topic. "Sabé made a big breakfast this morning. I noticed you weren't there."
"Yes, I can't very well disappear among a group of five people can I?" he said with his signature wryness.
"I'm not that easy to fool. Anyway, I brought you a muffin in case you're hungry. You look like you could use something to eat."
"I'm not really hungry."
"Oh." She twirled the muffin around in her hand. "Are you feeling all right?"
"I wouldn't say that," he smiled meekly. "But I'll live." The irony of the words struck him and he cast his eyes to the floor. "Sorry," he added.
Setting the muffin on the counter and wiping the crumbs from her hand, Padmé moved closer to Obi-Wan. "Stop acting as though everything were your fault."
"I can't help it," he said, looking up again. "I suppose it's just my nature to be a self-loathing loner."
"There's no one else to blame when you're by yourself," she said half-jokingly. More seriously, she added, "I know how you feel."
His brow knitted. "What do you mean?"
"I was around Anakin when he was least guarded. I should have sensed something was wrong. I will never forgive myself for letting the one I loved be lost."
"You're not a Jedi, you can't be blamed for not sensing it," Obi-Wan reasoned.
"Enough of the Jedi for once!" she retorted, a little more angrily than intended. "For all their rules and wisdom, they only make people miserable. All Anakin wanted was to be close to someone, to put aside his pride and act like a human being. Don't you ever want that?"
"Jedi aren't like normal humans! It's not arrogance, it's a fact. We've been trained to tap into something far too powerful to let it fall into the wrong hands. We have to be extremely careful."
Padmé shook her head in dismay. "You didn't answer my question! I ask about you, and I get some programmed response you've been taught." She moved in closer. "Don't you even just want to act like a human and let yourself be close to someone? It's been months since Anakin turned, and already I'm about to go insane with loneliness. Don't you have any feelings?"
Right now, Obi-Wan was feeling a little uncomfortable with Padmé's close proximity to himself. He tried to call upon the Force to slow his irrationally fast heartbeat, but it was slow in helping. "Of course I have feelings," he said softly. "I've just learned to… to not let them get in the way." He was sounding uncertain even to himself, and was still unable to stop himself from feeling extremely nervous. What was wrong with him?
"You mean you've repressed them," Padmé countered. She inched closer to him, all the time keeping her eyes on his face. She knew she was making him feel uneasy, but she didn't care. "But that doesn't mean you don't feel the need to be close to someone, deep inside." Her voice dropped to an unmistakably enticing tone. "To be intimate."
Alarm bells went off in Obi-Wan's head. Had she just said…? His face reddened involuntarily. He tried desperately to calm himself with the Force once again, but this time it was even more difficult. There was an unfamiliar, yet unmistakable desire building within him that he couldn't control. He wanted to bolt from the room, but he was frozen in place with nowhere to look but into Padmé's dark eyes. "I… it's not… not that I wouldn't want…" he stammered.
"Then what's holding you back?" Padmé asked. Apparently, it was meant to be a rhetorical question, because before he had a chance to answer she had pressed her lips to his.
He tensed in surprise; no one had ever kissed him before. After a moment, he allowed himself to relax, closed his eyes, and began to kiss her back. With an almost imperceptible movement, she began stepping back towards the bed. He noticed. He didn't care. She's right, he rationalized in his mind, what good is the code or the Order now?
Without breaking the kiss, Padmé eased herself back onto the bed with Obi-Wan. She was throwing caution and values to the wind, she knew. She didn't care. Then suddenly, he broke the kiss and took a few deep breaths. Oh no, she thought, he's going to let his conscience take over NOW? "What is it?" she said between ragged breaths, fearing a haughty reply.
To her surprise, Obi-Wan blushed and replied softly, "I… I've never…"
She smiled gently. "It's ok," she reassured him as she undid his belt and tossed it aside. Silently, she pulled him down slowly to her with another kiss.
He gently leaned into her and rested his body atop hers, hoping he wasn't crushing her delicate frame. But to his surpise, she only pulled him in closer. When she broke the kiss, he stared into her eyes and saw a spark there he had never seen before. It excited him and frightened him all at once.
Padmé reached her hands inside Obi-Wan's tunic and touched bare skin. She felt him shivver beneath her touch, and she grinned. He was like an innocent schoolboy, she thought wryly to herself as she slipped the tunic off his shoulders- nothing like the overly eager Anakin had been. Something inside her twinged and almost snapped, but she pushed it aside. She wasn't going to let anything ruin this. Obi-Wan struggled out of his tunic, and seemed happy to be free of it. Still, he was hesitant and stayed there, leaning over her and stroking her hair gently. She began to kiss his neck and felt his whole body stiffen as she made her way up to his ear.
Obi-Wan had no idea it was possible to feel like this. He had never been anywhere close to this aroused. On the other hand, he had no idea what to do and felt a little foolish being led on by Padmé. In a moment of supreme courage, he slowly slid the strap of her dress off her shoulder and began showering the soft skin with kisses. She stopped kissing him and sighed breathily in his ear, making the hairs on his neck stand up. He began to unbutton the front of her dress, hands shaking with his nerves. Padmé helped him, then began to remove his pants. Obi-Wan was a little more than nervous at this point, but was too caught up in the whole thing to stop now. Finally he felt the shockingly wonderful sensation of flesh on flesh. She wrapped her arms around his back and he leaned into her, letting his human nature take over.
Padmé looked up with a happy smile on her face. "Yes, I've finished feeding them, finally. Would you mind getting Luke?" she nodded her head toward the boy in the crib.
"Of course not," Sabé said warmly, swooping the child up carefully and following Padmé back to the dining area.
"Oh Sabé, it looks wonderful!" Padmé exclaimed in delight as she surveyed the table. There were two high chairs for the babies, and she set about strapping Leia into one as Sabé did the same for Luke. "There we go. Now I can finally eat something for myself!" She settled into a chair next to the twins, and Sabé took the one across from her.
"I hope everything takes okay," Sabé said after a few bites.
"It's great," Padmé said genuinely. For once she felt a measure of content, the first she'd felt in a long while. Despite what she knew was going on and had transpired outside the little refuge, she was able to focus on the wonderful meal, which made her happy. Then she noted the empty chair across from the twins, and her glow faded a little. "Where's Obi-Wan?"
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen him today. He must still be in his room. I can't imagine him having anywhere more important to be than here," Sabé said teasingly. Though Sabé made light of it, Padmé was a little bothered. She had seen how distressed Obi-Wan had been over his nightmare and knew he had skipped several meals lately. Sabé noticed Padmé's face fall a little and added, "I can go get him if you like."
"No, that's ok. I'll go. You stay here and enjoy these muffins while they're hot," she replied, taking one along as an afterthought. She reached Obi-Wan's door and tapped on it quietly, thinking how much they had been dropping in on one another lately.
"Come in," Obi-Wan's even, muffled voice said from inside.
Padmé entered to find the room somewhat dimly lit, and Obi-Wan standing with his hands behind his back and his eyes closed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your meditation," she said as she turned to leave.
"No, it's ok," he replied, his voice now lacking the trance-like quality. She stopped and turned back around to see him, eyes weary, looking exhausted. "It wasn't working very well anyway."
She wondered exactly what that meant, but decided to switch the topic. "Sabé made a big breakfast this morning. I noticed you weren't there."
"Yes, I can't very well disappear among a group of five people can I?" he said with his signature wryness.
"I'm not that easy to fool. Anyway, I brought you a muffin in case you're hungry. You look like you could use something to eat."
"I'm not really hungry."
"Oh." She twirled the muffin around in her hand. "Are you feeling all right?"
"I wouldn't say that," he smiled meekly. "But I'll live." The irony of the words struck him and he cast his eyes to the floor. "Sorry," he added.
Setting the muffin on the counter and wiping the crumbs from her hand, Padmé moved closer to Obi-Wan. "Stop acting as though everything were your fault."
"I can't help it," he said, looking up again. "I suppose it's just my nature to be a self-loathing loner."
"There's no one else to blame when you're by yourself," she said half-jokingly. More seriously, she added, "I know how you feel."
His brow knitted. "What do you mean?"
"I was around Anakin when he was least guarded. I should have sensed something was wrong. I will never forgive myself for letting the one I loved be lost."
"You're not a Jedi, you can't be blamed for not sensing it," Obi-Wan reasoned.
"Enough of the Jedi for once!" she retorted, a little more angrily than intended. "For all their rules and wisdom, they only make people miserable. All Anakin wanted was to be close to someone, to put aside his pride and act like a human being. Don't you ever want that?"
"Jedi aren't like normal humans! It's not arrogance, it's a fact. We've been trained to tap into something far too powerful to let it fall into the wrong hands. We have to be extremely careful."
Padmé shook her head in dismay. "You didn't answer my question! I ask about you, and I get some programmed response you've been taught." She moved in closer. "Don't you even just want to act like a human and let yourself be close to someone? It's been months since Anakin turned, and already I'm about to go insane with loneliness. Don't you have any feelings?"
Right now, Obi-Wan was feeling a little uncomfortable with Padmé's close proximity to himself. He tried to call upon the Force to slow his irrationally fast heartbeat, but it was slow in helping. "Of course I have feelings," he said softly. "I've just learned to… to not let them get in the way." He was sounding uncertain even to himself, and was still unable to stop himself from feeling extremely nervous. What was wrong with him?
"You mean you've repressed them," Padmé countered. She inched closer to him, all the time keeping her eyes on his face. She knew she was making him feel uneasy, but she didn't care. "But that doesn't mean you don't feel the need to be close to someone, deep inside." Her voice dropped to an unmistakably enticing tone. "To be intimate."
Alarm bells went off in Obi-Wan's head. Had she just said…? His face reddened involuntarily. He tried desperately to calm himself with the Force once again, but this time it was even more difficult. There was an unfamiliar, yet unmistakable desire building within him that he couldn't control. He wanted to bolt from the room, but he was frozen in place with nowhere to look but into Padmé's dark eyes. "I… it's not… not that I wouldn't want…" he stammered.
"Then what's holding you back?" Padmé asked. Apparently, it was meant to be a rhetorical question, because before he had a chance to answer she had pressed her lips to his.
He tensed in surprise; no one had ever kissed him before. After a moment, he allowed himself to relax, closed his eyes, and began to kiss her back. With an almost imperceptible movement, she began stepping back towards the bed. He noticed. He didn't care. She's right, he rationalized in his mind, what good is the code or the Order now?
Without breaking the kiss, Padmé eased herself back onto the bed with Obi-Wan. She was throwing caution and values to the wind, she knew. She didn't care. Then suddenly, he broke the kiss and took a few deep breaths. Oh no, she thought, he's going to let his conscience take over NOW? "What is it?" she said between ragged breaths, fearing a haughty reply.
To her surprise, Obi-Wan blushed and replied softly, "I… I've never…"
She smiled gently. "It's ok," she reassured him as she undid his belt and tossed it aside. Silently, she pulled him down slowly to her with another kiss.
He gently leaned into her and rested his body atop hers, hoping he wasn't crushing her delicate frame. But to his surpise, she only pulled him in closer. When she broke the kiss, he stared into her eyes and saw a spark there he had never seen before. It excited him and frightened him all at once.
Padmé reached her hands inside Obi-Wan's tunic and touched bare skin. She felt him shivver beneath her touch, and she grinned. He was like an innocent schoolboy, she thought wryly to herself as she slipped the tunic off his shoulders- nothing like the overly eager Anakin had been. Something inside her twinged and almost snapped, but she pushed it aside. She wasn't going to let anything ruin this. Obi-Wan struggled out of his tunic, and seemed happy to be free of it. Still, he was hesitant and stayed there, leaning over her and stroking her hair gently. She began to kiss his neck and felt his whole body stiffen as she made her way up to his ear.
Obi-Wan had no idea it was possible to feel like this. He had never been anywhere close to this aroused. On the other hand, he had no idea what to do and felt a little foolish being led on by Padmé. In a moment of supreme courage, he slowly slid the strap of her dress off her shoulder and began showering the soft skin with kisses. She stopped kissing him and sighed breathily in his ear, making the hairs on his neck stand up. He began to unbutton the front of her dress, hands shaking with his nerves. Padmé helped him, then began to remove his pants. Obi-Wan was a little more than nervous at this point, but was too caught up in the whole thing to stop now. Finally he felt the shockingly wonderful sensation of flesh on flesh. She wrapped her arms around his back and he leaned into her, letting his human nature take over.