Haha - remember when I said this was going to be posted last week. Well
that didn't exactly happen. I'm not even that sure why. I'm in the middle
of getting DSL as I'm typing this.I'm just waiting for my dad to finish the
download. Yay! Then I can be on ff.net all the time! Hehe, that'll be
exciting. My Dolphins are kicking Chicago's butt on Monday night football,
which is always a good thing. It's only ten o'clock right now, but I am
really tired. I have a Spanish quiz and a United States history test
tomorrow and I've been studying since I got home. It seems a lot later
than it actually is. Okay, so that's enough of my babbling. God, somebody
shoot me now! Anyways, enjoy this chapter.please keep reviewing! Thanks.
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About half an hour later we finally reach the familiar ambulance bay and I
hurry to pay the driver before hurriedly getting out of the car. The
temperature has dropped about ten degrees since I left the party, which is
pretty amazing since it was already cold to begin with. That's Chicago for
you. I pull my jacket tighter around me as I walk in the large doors and
there is a whoosh as the cold meets the heat inside.
"Abby, what are you doing here?" Randi sees me come in and yells across the crowded ER.
"Uh, I just had to take care of something. Where's Carter?"
"He just went on break. He said something about going for a walk. Wait, you're leaving?" I've turned around and am rushing back out the doors. I know where he's gone.
Less than ten minutes later I get to the bench that we've been to together so many times. I don't see him at first because his head was bowed down and there were small snowflakes starting to land on his hair. My first intuition is to wipe them off, but that would involve touching him, which I know I can't do. Instead I quietly approach him. He doesn't even realize I'm there until I sit down beside him. Actually, he doesn't realize I'm there until I open my mouth.
"Hey." I gently rub my hands together.
"Aren't you supposed to be getting married tomorrow?" There's no tone in his voice.
"Yeah. I just wanted to sort things out with you first." He looks at me for the first time with a questioning face. I recognize this face. It's the same one he used the night Mark died six months ago. "I'm sorry about what happened. About us."
"There's never been an us." His words are colder than the temperature outside.
"I mean about what happened in the lockdown." For some reason I find myself becoming intimidated by this man beside me. This man who I used to be so comfortable with.
"I kissed you. What do you want me to do? Apologize and clear your conscience?"
"No."
"Well then what do you want me to do? Why are you here Abby?" He's getting angry but he has every right to be. Why did I come here? How can I tell him what I'm thinking in my head. God, why is this so hard?
"I don't know." Great answer Abby. That makes a lot of sense. "Maybe I did want to make myself feel better. I don't know. I just didn't want to go away without talking to you. You're my friend and we can't ignore each other forever."
"I've told you before, I don't need friends." Shit, he's standing up. I feel my legs standing up too and following him as he walks away.
"Please don't walk away Carter." I'm pleading to talk to him.
"No, that's what you do isn't it." I know that this is the end of this conversation. My legs won't move now as he storms off. I realize it's no use anymore. Suddenly I notice that my cell phone is ringing in my purse.
"Hello?" I dig the phone out of my bag and answer it.
"Where did you go?" Susan sounds just a tad annoyed.
"I had to take care of something."
"In the middle of your rehearsal dinner?" Yep, she's definitely annoyed.
"Yeah, it was kind of important."
"Well where did you go?"
"I'll tell you later okay?"
"Fine, whatever. Oh, what time do you want me to come over tomorrow?"
"Whenever you can get there."
"Okay. Um, I gotta go. And by the way, I love Michael.his cousin is soo hot!"
"Don't get into too much trouble. I'll see you tomorrow." I hang up the phone and put it back in my purse. I look up and realize I don't know where I'm going. I had just been walking when I was talking to Susan. I think I'm still waiting for my sign from god letting me know what to do. I look down at my watch and realize it's almost midnight. I shiver and walk back in the opposite direction, towards the El. As I get onto the train, I sit down and let out a sigh.
"Long day?" I look to my left and there is an old man sitting there waiting for a response. I'm not really in the mood to talk so I just nod and smile.
"Were you at a party?" The man asks me, and I wonder how he knows this until I realize that I am in fact still dressed up from dinner.
"Uh, yeah. I'm getting married tomorrow." I force another smile.
"Well congratulations."
"Thank you." I'm shocked to see I'm blushing.
"I've been married four times."
"Never found the right woman?"
"Something like that." His face falls and I immediately wish I'd kept my mouth shut.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"No. It's not your fault." I nod and face forward again.
"You have to make sure you really love the person you marry. It's so important." I realize that he's still talking to me. "The first time I married the wrong person but was too late to realize it. The second time I married my best friend."
I share his smile as he has this recollection, but then the train slows down and I realize it's at my stop. I start to gather my bag and my jacket. As the train stops, I stand up and turn towards the old man one last time.
"This is my stop. It was really nice meeting you."
"Wait, I never actually introduced myself did I? I think I'm losing my mind. Sam Klein." He sticks out his arm to shake my hand. I extend my arm as well and he grasps my hand.
"Abby Lockhart." The doors open and he releases me. I give one last smile before exiting the train. I collect myself on the platform and realize it's gotten even colder than when I got on. Hurriedly, I go down the steps and walk the couple of blocks to my apartment. As I unlock the front door to the building, I sigh and am able to see my breath in the air. This concept has always entertained me so I do it again. Then suddenly I find myself laughing at the ridiculous image that I must be creating for people walking by.
After about a minute, I walk in the door and shut it behind me. I walk up the flight of stairs to my own apartment and go through the same procedure as I did with the door downstairs. My first attempt to open the door doesn't go well, however, and I have to really put my shoulder into it. Finally the door swing open and I go inside. Wanting to get warm as soon as possible, I hop into my closet and quickly take off all my clothes. Looking around, I reach for my warmest flannel pajamas. I also pull out my heavy socks and slip them on and walk back into the bedroom. I pull the pillows off my bed and pull back the comforter. Going back to the bathroom, I quickly brush my teeth before slipping into the bed and pulling the sheets up around me. The thought that in less than 48 hours I will be married barely even crosses my mind for the first time in days and I close my eyes and gently fall into unconsciousness. *********************************************************************
"Abby, what are you doing here?" Randi sees me come in and yells across the crowded ER.
"Uh, I just had to take care of something. Where's Carter?"
"He just went on break. He said something about going for a walk. Wait, you're leaving?" I've turned around and am rushing back out the doors. I know where he's gone.
Less than ten minutes later I get to the bench that we've been to together so many times. I don't see him at first because his head was bowed down and there were small snowflakes starting to land on his hair. My first intuition is to wipe them off, but that would involve touching him, which I know I can't do. Instead I quietly approach him. He doesn't even realize I'm there until I sit down beside him. Actually, he doesn't realize I'm there until I open my mouth.
"Hey." I gently rub my hands together.
"Aren't you supposed to be getting married tomorrow?" There's no tone in his voice.
"Yeah. I just wanted to sort things out with you first." He looks at me for the first time with a questioning face. I recognize this face. It's the same one he used the night Mark died six months ago. "I'm sorry about what happened. About us."
"There's never been an us." His words are colder than the temperature outside.
"I mean about what happened in the lockdown." For some reason I find myself becoming intimidated by this man beside me. This man who I used to be so comfortable with.
"I kissed you. What do you want me to do? Apologize and clear your conscience?"
"No."
"Well then what do you want me to do? Why are you here Abby?" He's getting angry but he has every right to be. Why did I come here? How can I tell him what I'm thinking in my head. God, why is this so hard?
"I don't know." Great answer Abby. That makes a lot of sense. "Maybe I did want to make myself feel better. I don't know. I just didn't want to go away without talking to you. You're my friend and we can't ignore each other forever."
"I've told you before, I don't need friends." Shit, he's standing up. I feel my legs standing up too and following him as he walks away.
"Please don't walk away Carter." I'm pleading to talk to him.
"No, that's what you do isn't it." I know that this is the end of this conversation. My legs won't move now as he storms off. I realize it's no use anymore. Suddenly I notice that my cell phone is ringing in my purse.
"Hello?" I dig the phone out of my bag and answer it.
"Where did you go?" Susan sounds just a tad annoyed.
"I had to take care of something."
"In the middle of your rehearsal dinner?" Yep, she's definitely annoyed.
"Yeah, it was kind of important."
"Well where did you go?"
"I'll tell you later okay?"
"Fine, whatever. Oh, what time do you want me to come over tomorrow?"
"Whenever you can get there."
"Okay. Um, I gotta go. And by the way, I love Michael.his cousin is soo hot!"
"Don't get into too much trouble. I'll see you tomorrow." I hang up the phone and put it back in my purse. I look up and realize I don't know where I'm going. I had just been walking when I was talking to Susan. I think I'm still waiting for my sign from god letting me know what to do. I look down at my watch and realize it's almost midnight. I shiver and walk back in the opposite direction, towards the El. As I get onto the train, I sit down and let out a sigh.
"Long day?" I look to my left and there is an old man sitting there waiting for a response. I'm not really in the mood to talk so I just nod and smile.
"Were you at a party?" The man asks me, and I wonder how he knows this until I realize that I am in fact still dressed up from dinner.
"Uh, yeah. I'm getting married tomorrow." I force another smile.
"Well congratulations."
"Thank you." I'm shocked to see I'm blushing.
"I've been married four times."
"Never found the right woman?"
"Something like that." His face falls and I immediately wish I'd kept my mouth shut.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"No. It's not your fault." I nod and face forward again.
"You have to make sure you really love the person you marry. It's so important." I realize that he's still talking to me. "The first time I married the wrong person but was too late to realize it. The second time I married my best friend."
I share his smile as he has this recollection, but then the train slows down and I realize it's at my stop. I start to gather my bag and my jacket. As the train stops, I stand up and turn towards the old man one last time.
"This is my stop. It was really nice meeting you."
"Wait, I never actually introduced myself did I? I think I'm losing my mind. Sam Klein." He sticks out his arm to shake my hand. I extend my arm as well and he grasps my hand.
"Abby Lockhart." The doors open and he releases me. I give one last smile before exiting the train. I collect myself on the platform and realize it's gotten even colder than when I got on. Hurriedly, I go down the steps and walk the couple of blocks to my apartment. As I unlock the front door to the building, I sigh and am able to see my breath in the air. This concept has always entertained me so I do it again. Then suddenly I find myself laughing at the ridiculous image that I must be creating for people walking by.
After about a minute, I walk in the door and shut it behind me. I walk up the flight of stairs to my own apartment and go through the same procedure as I did with the door downstairs. My first attempt to open the door doesn't go well, however, and I have to really put my shoulder into it. Finally the door swing open and I go inside. Wanting to get warm as soon as possible, I hop into my closet and quickly take off all my clothes. Looking around, I reach for my warmest flannel pajamas. I also pull out my heavy socks and slip them on and walk back into the bedroom. I pull the pillows off my bed and pull back the comforter. Going back to the bathroom, I quickly brush my teeth before slipping into the bed and pulling the sheets up around me. The thought that in less than 48 hours I will be married barely even crosses my mind for the first time in days and I close my eyes and gently fall into unconsciousness. *********************************************************************