DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings; Tolkien Enterprises does
(and also owns all related The Lord of the Rings characters as well - not
counting Kaia, Gala, and Natly).
A/N: I know this has been done a lot, but it is fun to do anyway! And also, this is based on the movies and the books, not just the movies and not just the books.
Middle Earth's Mistresses
Chapter One
"Kaia, you are such a Poopyhead!" I told my friend through the phone.
"You just think Arwen is the coolest, but you know Eowyn is!" She yelled back.
See, Kaia thinks Eowyn should be with Aragorn, and that Arwen should be with Legolas. Barbaric, huh?
"Do you want me to put Gala on?" I asked Kaia. (I have three-way calling, tee-hee-hee!) "She's beeping in."
"Okay." Kaia said.
"Hellooooo," Gala drawled when put her on. "I agree with Natly," she added with a loud and rather rude cough from me, "Arwen and Aragorn are just SO meant for each other."
"Have you seen Natly's computer log-on? Her log-on picture is Arwen, her desktop, screensaver, and AIM icon is Arwen, and, since there isn't an AOL desktop of Arwen-"
"Yet." I interrupted. Things sure better change after The Return of the King is released in theaters, because Gondor needs a queen, you know what I'm sayin'?
"-It's Legolas, whom she swoons over-"
"Oh, face it, Kaia, you're obsessed with Aragorn!" I said.
"Um, guys, I'm hungry." Gala's weak voice interrupted.
"We are not guys! We are elves!"
"And humans!"
"Whatever." And then, under my breath: "Stupid horse freak." I don't hate horses. I love them - I swear on the Precious! (I just hate the stupid horse freak, but that doesn't mean she can't be my third favorite The Lord of the Rings character.)
I had one hand on my replica of Hadhafang (Arwen's sword. Yes, my replica is sharp, made of metal, has Sindarin writing on it. It could very well be Hadhafang.), and one hand on my old, battered copy of The Return of the King, a phone headset on, when suddenly Gala, Kaia, and I were sitting down outside of Elrond's Council.
"Hey," I whispered, "It's daddy-"
"You call Elrond daddy?!"
I gave Kaia a death glare. "Die!"
Gala shushed us, and pointed, then sighed deeply. It was Legolas.
"What's gonna happen when Celeborn finds out you're cheating on him?" I whispered in Gala's ear. She instantly sat up, straight as a stick.
Merry, Pippin, and Samwise Gamgee walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. "And who are you?"
"Not Kersten." I told him. "So you can't like me?"
He looked at me.
"I'm Natly. This is Kaia, this is Gala." I pointed to my friends."
"You mean mine and mine!" Pippin said.
Kaia kicked him in his stupid, hobbit head.
Suddenly, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Kaia, Gala, and I were standing in the middle of the council. "We're going, too." Pippin said.
Gala looked up at Legolas standing behind her. She waved and batted her eyelids flirtatiously. "I'm Gala."
I looked at Kaia. "And you think I swoon over him?"
A/N: I know this has been done a lot, but it is fun to do anyway! And also, this is based on the movies and the books, not just the movies and not just the books.
Middle Earth's Mistresses
Chapter One
"Kaia, you are such a Poopyhead!" I told my friend through the phone.
"You just think Arwen is the coolest, but you know Eowyn is!" She yelled back.
See, Kaia thinks Eowyn should be with Aragorn, and that Arwen should be with Legolas. Barbaric, huh?
"Do you want me to put Gala on?" I asked Kaia. (I have three-way calling, tee-hee-hee!) "She's beeping in."
"Okay." Kaia said.
"Hellooooo," Gala drawled when put her on. "I agree with Natly," she added with a loud and rather rude cough from me, "Arwen and Aragorn are just SO meant for each other."
"Have you seen Natly's computer log-on? Her log-on picture is Arwen, her desktop, screensaver, and AIM icon is Arwen, and, since there isn't an AOL desktop of Arwen-"
"Yet." I interrupted. Things sure better change after The Return of the King is released in theaters, because Gondor needs a queen, you know what I'm sayin'?
"-It's Legolas, whom she swoons over-"
"Oh, face it, Kaia, you're obsessed with Aragorn!" I said.
"Um, guys, I'm hungry." Gala's weak voice interrupted.
"We are not guys! We are elves!"
"And humans!"
"Whatever." And then, under my breath: "Stupid horse freak." I don't hate horses. I love them - I swear on the Precious! (I just hate the stupid horse freak, but that doesn't mean she can't be my third favorite The Lord of the Rings character.)
I had one hand on my replica of Hadhafang (Arwen's sword. Yes, my replica is sharp, made of metal, has Sindarin writing on it. It could very well be Hadhafang.), and one hand on my old, battered copy of The Return of the King, a phone headset on, when suddenly Gala, Kaia, and I were sitting down outside of Elrond's Council.
"Hey," I whispered, "It's daddy-"
"You call Elrond daddy?!"
I gave Kaia a death glare. "Die!"
Gala shushed us, and pointed, then sighed deeply. It was Legolas.
"What's gonna happen when Celeborn finds out you're cheating on him?" I whispered in Gala's ear. She instantly sat up, straight as a stick.
Merry, Pippin, and Samwise Gamgee walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. "And who are you?"
"Not Kersten." I told him. "So you can't like me?"
He looked at me.
"I'm Natly. This is Kaia, this is Gala." I pointed to my friends."
"You mean mine and mine!" Pippin said.
Kaia kicked him in his stupid, hobbit head.
Suddenly, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Kaia, Gala, and I were standing in the middle of the council. "We're going, too." Pippin said.
Gala looked up at Legolas standing behind her. She waved and batted her eyelids flirtatiously. "I'm Gala."
I looked at Kaia. "And you think I swoon over him?"