Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits basket or X-files, I just warp them.
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Scully ran down into the room, screaming with a yellow ball of fluff attached to her leg. She ran smack into Kyou, Yuki, and Haru in a domino effect, knocking them all onto a pile on the floor. When the poofy colored transformy smoke stuff cleared, Scully lay on top of a cow, a cat, and a very squished looking mouse.
"Whoa. she weighs a lot. someone needs to lay off the pocky" (authors note: GOOOOO POCKY!!!) Haru said, grunting a little.
"EXCUSE ME?" Scully screeched, offended that a cow of all things told her she was heavy. Momiji was being completely ignored, and decided to run off before he was kicked into the air again.
At this time Ayame and Shigure came down the stairs from doing who knows what. (With Ayame and Shigure, do we really want to know? O.O)
Ayame saw Scully and the animals and panicked, and as Scully was standing up, he whacked her on the backside of the head with a Xena warrior cry, "AAAAA YI YI YI YI YIIII!"
Scully blinked and stood there, not dazed as Ayame had intended. "What the f-"
WHAM
Haru had stood up and cow kicked her, knocking her out fully. "There are children present!" he declared.
With a sudden poof there were three very naked boys in the kitchen. Yuki and Kyou had still been lying by each other, and were now sprawled on one another.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" the cat and mouse yelled.
"Are. you on my Yuki?" Haru asked, staring at Kyou. He started to glare, and get a scary look on his face.
"WHAT?! NO! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Kyou yelped, and jumped away from Yuki.
"Did you just call Yuki disgusting?!" Haru yelled grabbing at where Kyou's shirt would normally be.
"Uh boys." Shigure said, giggling, "You are awful bare.. Why don't you fix that?" Ayame was standing behind him, giggling and poking Scully with his foot. Yuki, being the only one with half a brain at times like these, had already managed to pull his clothes on and was smirking at Kyou.
"Yes Kyou. after all, you naked has uh. tiny problems" Yuki said, a look of pure victorious evil on his face.
Kyou's face looked confused, "What are you talking about you kuso nezumi?"
"Oh nothing, nothing.." He turned to Haru and grinned even worse, "you on the other hand, when you are naked, that has huge problems."
Haru still being in black mode wrapped his arm around Yuki and nuzzled him. "Really? Well I must say the same back to you Yuki"
Shigure and Ayame just stared, for once, they both had nothing to say, they were disturbed, very disturbed. "And you call me a pervert?" Shigure asked.
"I DON'T GET THIS PROBLEM!" Kyou shouted having a hissy fit. He had pulled his clothes on as well.
Yuki and Haru snickered, "baka neko"
"WHAT?! I DON'T GET IT! HAUR PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON YOU'RE DISTUBRING ME!"
At this moment Mulder walked in to find out what the commotion was. Upon seeing a naked Haru he had to exclaim, "OH HOLY S-" WHAM
Shigure whacked him on the head with a pan, knocking him out.
"My problems were too much for him" Haru said smirking.
"Put clothes on Haru"
"Fine."
Now that everyone was fully clothed, it was time to decide what to do with Mulder and Scully. It was decided they'd be taken to Akito, who would decide what to do. Kyou decided there was no way he was going to the Sohma house, so he went to burn cd's till they came and got him (BOO to the evil music executives, BOO)
Haru and Yuki decided Akito was not someone they wanted to deal with and went upstairs to do Yuki and Haru things.
"IT'S JUST US! AND HARI, BECAUSE HARI IS ALWAYS WITH AKITO! Oh.. I wonder maybe he likes... Naaaaaaah" Ayame said giggling and hopping around Shigure like a giddy little girl.
Shigure loaded the unconscious agents into his car (he has a car now!) and with drove to the Sohma house.
~~~~~the drive~~~~~
"SKUUNK!" *WHUMP* "TEN POINTS!"
"CHIPMUNK!" *WHUMP* "TEN POINTS!"
"SQUIRREL!"
"YOU MISSED!"
"TRASHCAN!" *BANG* "THIRTY POINTS!"
"OLD LADY!" *EEEEEEEE* "100 POINTS!"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOONGOOOOOOOOOOOSE" *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* (squee?! What DOES a mongoose say?) "200 POINTS!"
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Ayame and Shigure stepped out of the car; their front bumper looking like it had driven through a strawberry field. They unloaded the agents and dragged them inside to meet Akito. "Whuh?" Mulder said, coming to. "You are at the Sohma house, we must ask Akito to decide what to do with you." Hatori said, he had wandered outside seeing them drive up. "Oh. okeedokee then!" Mulder said giving a thumbs up and passing back out. They dragged the two into Akito's room, what they saw, would haunt them forever. "OOOH YAAY COMPANY! HEEHEE!" Akito leapt over, he was wearing a pink belly shirt and tight black leather pants. "I so love company, I love to make them screeaaam for mercy" He giggled and said this like it was the cheeriest thing in the world. It would scare you, his cheeriness! He hopped around like a sissy humming and then looked to the door, "did my precious Yukkums come with? Did he did he did he? I adore PLAYING WITH HIM BWAHAHAHA!" Hatori gasped quickly and ran out of the room. "Hmmm.. What's with him? Well whatever, why have you all come to see me on this super happy day?!" Akito asked still bounding around like a nut. "Uh...we. we..." Shigure started to stutter out, he was in shock. "Oh spit it out or I'll cut your tongue out and use it for something better!" Akito smiled. "These FBI agents saw some of us transform. We need to know what to do." Shigure said. "Ooh. can I kill them? Or will they be missed? Heehee I reeeaally wish to kill someone, I could bury them in the backyard!" Akito said.
Hatori rushed back into the room with his medical bag, gasping for air, he looked to Shigure. "Akito ate.. three bottles.. of Prozac.." Shigure nodded, and then looked to Ayame and asked if he had heard that. To his horror, Ayame was standing with Akito, holding his hands and they were both hopping and dancing singing "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!" Hatori and Shigure sweatdropped. "Hatori! Erase those agents memory!" Akito said, in an all too cheery, almost Tohru-like voice. ".." Said Hatori, "that is. terrifying."
~~~~~~~~
Hatori removed his hand from their foreheads, the deed was done. Their memories of the Sohmas gone. "Thank god" Hatori thought to himself, "the madness shall end!" He glanced back to Ayame, Shigure, and Akito who were playing say-say-oh-playmate. He shut his eyes, "maybe not"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mulder and Scully sat on the plane, heading back to the US. "Well shnookems, that trip to Japan was strange wasn't it? The memory loss and all." Scully said, grinning happily at Mulder. "Yes dear.. It was strange how those two men knew so much about us. yet I can't remember them. Ayame and Shigure they said their names were?" Mulder asked Scully. "Mhmm! Sweet of them to remind us how we were married, and lived on a potato farm in Ohio. And that you have a strange stapler fetish. I wonder how they knew that."Scully said, looking completely dazed. "Yes well... it doesn't matter. I found it more odd that black-and-white haired boy knew you were allergic to cheese burgers. very strange character." He replied. "Yes. extremely odd. but it doesn't matter. I can't wait to be home with my darling husband. I love you Wookie!" she said staring wistfully at Mulder. "I love you too Behemoth" Mulder said, and they took their long journey home, where they would confuse the bajeezus out of skinner, and the rest of the FBI. That and some poor potato farmer in Ohio. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally. the end
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Thank you to all the readers of my first fic! Final reviews are appreciated, they are worth gold to me ^__^! I'm really sorry about the terrible ending, and the insanely long time it took me to get this up. My little muse decided it'd be funny to go all angsty while writing a funny fic. That and its hard to write an ending to a fic that really, had no plot to begin with. Good news though! While my muse went angsty, onward came another story idea! This is the summary: "A murder occurs, but who's dead, and who did it? Yuki and Haru are happy together, but Akito is not pleased with it, and he hates Haru more each day. What will happen when Akito has a girl live with Yuki? Will she steal his heart, and what lengths will Haru go to keep Yuki's love?"
Scully ran down into the room, screaming with a yellow ball of fluff attached to her leg. She ran smack into Kyou, Yuki, and Haru in a domino effect, knocking them all onto a pile on the floor. When the poofy colored transformy smoke stuff cleared, Scully lay on top of a cow, a cat, and a very squished looking mouse.
"Whoa. she weighs a lot. someone needs to lay off the pocky" (authors note: GOOOOO POCKY!!!) Haru said, grunting a little.
"EXCUSE ME?" Scully screeched, offended that a cow of all things told her she was heavy. Momiji was being completely ignored, and decided to run off before he was kicked into the air again.
At this time Ayame and Shigure came down the stairs from doing who knows what. (With Ayame and Shigure, do we really want to know? O.O)
Ayame saw Scully and the animals and panicked, and as Scully was standing up, he whacked her on the backside of the head with a Xena warrior cry, "AAAAA YI YI YI YI YIIII!"
Scully blinked and stood there, not dazed as Ayame had intended. "What the f-"
WHAM
Haru had stood up and cow kicked her, knocking her out fully. "There are children present!" he declared.
With a sudden poof there were three very naked boys in the kitchen. Yuki and Kyou had still been lying by each other, and were now sprawled on one another.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" the cat and mouse yelled.
"Are. you on my Yuki?" Haru asked, staring at Kyou. He started to glare, and get a scary look on his face.
"WHAT?! NO! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Kyou yelped, and jumped away from Yuki.
"Did you just call Yuki disgusting?!" Haru yelled grabbing at where Kyou's shirt would normally be.
"Uh boys." Shigure said, giggling, "You are awful bare.. Why don't you fix that?" Ayame was standing behind him, giggling and poking Scully with his foot. Yuki, being the only one with half a brain at times like these, had already managed to pull his clothes on and was smirking at Kyou.
"Yes Kyou. after all, you naked has uh. tiny problems" Yuki said, a look of pure victorious evil on his face.
Kyou's face looked confused, "What are you talking about you kuso nezumi?"
"Oh nothing, nothing.." He turned to Haru and grinned even worse, "you on the other hand, when you are naked, that has huge problems."
Haru still being in black mode wrapped his arm around Yuki and nuzzled him. "Really? Well I must say the same back to you Yuki"
Shigure and Ayame just stared, for once, they both had nothing to say, they were disturbed, very disturbed. "And you call me a pervert?" Shigure asked.
"I DON'T GET THIS PROBLEM!" Kyou shouted having a hissy fit. He had pulled his clothes on as well.
Yuki and Haru snickered, "baka neko"
"WHAT?! I DON'T GET IT! HAUR PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON YOU'RE DISTUBRING ME!"
At this moment Mulder walked in to find out what the commotion was. Upon seeing a naked Haru he had to exclaim, "OH HOLY S-" WHAM
Shigure whacked him on the head with a pan, knocking him out.
"My problems were too much for him" Haru said smirking.
"Put clothes on Haru"
"Fine."
Now that everyone was fully clothed, it was time to decide what to do with Mulder and Scully. It was decided they'd be taken to Akito, who would decide what to do. Kyou decided there was no way he was going to the Sohma house, so he went to burn cd's till they came and got him (BOO to the evil music executives, BOO)
Haru and Yuki decided Akito was not someone they wanted to deal with and went upstairs to do Yuki and Haru things.
"IT'S JUST US! AND HARI, BECAUSE HARI IS ALWAYS WITH AKITO! Oh.. I wonder maybe he likes... Naaaaaaah" Ayame said giggling and hopping around Shigure like a giddy little girl.
Shigure loaded the unconscious agents into his car (he has a car now!) and with drove to the Sohma house.
~~~~~the drive~~~~~
"SKUUNK!" *WHUMP* "TEN POINTS!"
"CHIPMUNK!" *WHUMP* "TEN POINTS!"
"SQUIRREL!"
"YOU MISSED!"
"TRASHCAN!" *BANG* "THIRTY POINTS!"
"OLD LADY!" *EEEEEEEE* "100 POINTS!"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOONGOOOOOOOOOOOSE" *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* (squee?! What DOES a mongoose say?) "200 POINTS!"
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Ayame and Shigure stepped out of the car; their front bumper looking like it had driven through a strawberry field. They unloaded the agents and dragged them inside to meet Akito. "Whuh?" Mulder said, coming to. "You are at the Sohma house, we must ask Akito to decide what to do with you." Hatori said, he had wandered outside seeing them drive up. "Oh. okeedokee then!" Mulder said giving a thumbs up and passing back out. They dragged the two into Akito's room, what they saw, would haunt them forever. "OOOH YAAY COMPANY! HEEHEE!" Akito leapt over, he was wearing a pink belly shirt and tight black leather pants. "I so love company, I love to make them screeaaam for mercy" He giggled and said this like it was the cheeriest thing in the world. It would scare you, his cheeriness! He hopped around like a sissy humming and then looked to the door, "did my precious Yukkums come with? Did he did he did he? I adore PLAYING WITH HIM BWAHAHAHA!" Hatori gasped quickly and ran out of the room. "Hmmm.. What's with him? Well whatever, why have you all come to see me on this super happy day?!" Akito asked still bounding around like a nut. "Uh...we. we..." Shigure started to stutter out, he was in shock. "Oh spit it out or I'll cut your tongue out and use it for something better!" Akito smiled. "These FBI agents saw some of us transform. We need to know what to do." Shigure said. "Ooh. can I kill them? Or will they be missed? Heehee I reeeaally wish to kill someone, I could bury them in the backyard!" Akito said.
Hatori rushed back into the room with his medical bag, gasping for air, he looked to Shigure. "Akito ate.. three bottles.. of Prozac.." Shigure nodded, and then looked to Ayame and asked if he had heard that. To his horror, Ayame was standing with Akito, holding his hands and they were both hopping and dancing singing "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!" Hatori and Shigure sweatdropped. "Hatori! Erase those agents memory!" Akito said, in an all too cheery, almost Tohru-like voice. ".." Said Hatori, "that is. terrifying."
~~~~~~~~
Hatori removed his hand from their foreheads, the deed was done. Their memories of the Sohmas gone. "Thank god" Hatori thought to himself, "the madness shall end!" He glanced back to Ayame, Shigure, and Akito who were playing say-say-oh-playmate. He shut his eyes, "maybe not"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mulder and Scully sat on the plane, heading back to the US. "Well shnookems, that trip to Japan was strange wasn't it? The memory loss and all." Scully said, grinning happily at Mulder. "Yes dear.. It was strange how those two men knew so much about us. yet I can't remember them. Ayame and Shigure they said their names were?" Mulder asked Scully. "Mhmm! Sweet of them to remind us how we were married, and lived on a potato farm in Ohio. And that you have a strange stapler fetish. I wonder how they knew that."Scully said, looking completely dazed. "Yes well... it doesn't matter. I found it more odd that black-and-white haired boy knew you were allergic to cheese burgers. very strange character." He replied. "Yes. extremely odd. but it doesn't matter. I can't wait to be home with my darling husband. I love you Wookie!" she said staring wistfully at Mulder. "I love you too Behemoth" Mulder said, and they took their long journey home, where they would confuse the bajeezus out of skinner, and the rest of the FBI. That and some poor potato farmer in Ohio. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally. the end
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Thank you to all the readers of my first fic! Final reviews are appreciated, they are worth gold to me ^__^! I'm really sorry about the terrible ending, and the insanely long time it took me to get this up. My little muse decided it'd be funny to go all angsty while writing a funny fic. That and its hard to write an ending to a fic that really, had no plot to begin with. Good news though! While my muse went angsty, onward came another story idea! This is the summary: "A murder occurs, but who's dead, and who did it? Yuki and Haru are happy together, but Akito is not pleased with it, and he hates Haru more each day. What will happen when Akito has a girl live with Yuki? Will she steal his heart, and what lengths will Haru go to keep Yuki's love?"