"Well, I'm glad you seem to be doing well. I don't know if there's really anything I can say. I guess. I know I haven't been there for you and Dawn, but I do want to try. But, I'm not going to push - you're obviously able to take care of things and I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you or adding It's just If you ever want to talk or anything, I don't want to not be there anymore"

They'd met for lunch on the pier out toward Long Beach, and while Dawn was around, conversation flowed as lightly as she'd remembered from her early teens. But then Dawn had gone off to look in the nearby shops, leaving Buffy and Hank to talk alone.

The Dawn-sponsored attempts at bonding were pretty stilted, Buffy offering up a few details about Northwestern while Hank commented on his past trips to Chicago. Mostly, they just stood silently, watching the gulls and listening to the surf crash - each imagining a time when a smiling Joyce packed a picnic basket and watched a toddling Dawn, while Buffy and Celia played in the sand.

Surprisingly, he didn't offer to buy her shoes or stuffed animals as she might have once expected him to, and he didn't try to force her to talk to him. It was awkward, but not altogether unpleasant; when an exuberant Dawn came back they mentioned the possibility of meeting again the next time she came back to town.

"I want to be able to talk to him, because he'll always be my father and I love him. But it's going to be hard, because we just don't know each other anymore. And before you ask, Dawn, we're not going to fill him in. It's just - he wasn't there. And I don't think he gets to be included in this part of our lives."

Dawn didn't need Buffy to elaborate. She'd remembered being "not included" along with their mother back when Buffy was still in High School, and she understood Buffy's reasoning even if she didn't agree. Unlike Buffy, Dawn still felt like the girl Hank remembered, and once she'd decided to push past her anger at his absence they'd been able to find some degree of connection. Dawn doubted it would ever be comfortable for Buffy.

Socializing with Xander and Willow had been much easier. Without the pressures of imminent apocalypses, and a large team of slayers standing by, they fell back into the old rhythm. Buffy laid out the selection of eighties flicks, while Xander took his customary place behind the girls and began playing with Willow's hair. For a few moments, they could watch "The Goonies" and remember a just being a group of kids forming a makeshift family of their own.

"Do you remember when we used to be that excited to hang out together? When did we get so old? Because honestly - somewhere along the line, I think I turned into Schneider. Fix the sink, look in on Barbara, and go trundling off to wherever repairmen hide. We're 22 - we shouldn't have been feeling like we're middle-aged."

The first month in LA had proven hardest for Xander. Like the roaches he often though they were, the Harris clan had survived Sunnydale, and the reunion had not been pleasant. His home was gone and so was Anya, and Willow and Buffy were off to the Midwest, leaving him to face an uncertain future without his touchstones. And he often felt out of place among the Fang Gang.

But both Dawn and Angel had, in their own ways, worked to remind Xander that the end of Sunnydale wasn't the end of Xander, and that he still had a long future to think about. Monocular vision proved to be far less an obstacle in construction management than he'd feared, and leading his own crew helped in more ways than one. More recently had taken to helping out Anne down at the teen shelter. Slowly, he was finding his own place in the world. He'd signed up for a writing course, and his comments about putting together a screenplay had gotten more and more serious. Andrew wasn't going to be official storyteller - he hadn't been there to see

An assessment Willow agreed with completely. In Cleveland, Willow found joy in getting to teach again. It wasn't about showing how much she could do, proving she was worthwhile and earning praise from her parents, or respect from Buffy and Giles. It was about getting a chance to engage her mind and problem solving abilities, and make valuable contributions to a cause she'd come to believe deeply in, and genuinely helping others achieve their best. It was about Willow learning to live with Willow.

"We're not old. We just got so bogged down in our responsibilities and trying to be grownups for a while that we all sort of stopped 'living' for awhile. I think we all just needed to change the scenery, meet new people, and find things to get excited about again."

And as the DC-10 taxied down the runway, Buffy considered how much she had to be excited about. She was still the slayer - she always would be - but looking back at the past weekend she could finally feel like she wasn't just struggling not to drown. They were really working toward building something new and better. The new slayers were learning to adjust far better than she'd hoped, and she and her friends were finally getting their lives back on track. She'd finally gotten a chance to spend time with friends without the specter of an Apocalypse, and they'd found their relationships frayed but still intact. Willow and Xander were joking again and they'd shared their first honest laughs in too long to count.

Beside her, Tracy was grilling Eddie about various training regimen while an annoyed Faith tried to sleep. A Tracy who'd accepted what she was, but hadn't forgotten the life she'd hoped to make for herself. A Faith who didn't seem to need to prove she was a person who deserved affection and respectanymore, because she was too busy being that person to worry about it.

Perhaps, they'd find some more of the answers to questions about herself she hadn't taken the time - or maybe was just too afraid of - to ask. Certainly, Buffy knew that she could still fight when she wasn't sleeping, or when she was too depressed over her mother's death to eat properly. But she'd have the chance to actually study her capabilities with someone who didn't see her as a mystical savior or a misfit of science just because she could lift more or heal faster than 'normal' people. And if Eddie could find a new training or nutrition program to make her a healthier and better slayer, she was all for it. She was a California girl, and no stranger to fad diets.

Willow, Wesley and Giles had promised to find her little Chicago team a suitable watcher to help with research and their miscellaneous needs. So maybe she'd even have time to pursue and internship or a research assistantship with Dr. Tierney. Or she could just hang out and go to parties, and be a girl. Whatever.

"When I said I hadn't finished baking, it was pretty true. But we never really do. Finish baking. But that's what life is. Taking raw cookie dough, and trying to bake it into delicious cookies. I think I've lined up some tasty ingredients, and I've got a recipe. So it's back into the oven for Buffy. And it's nice and warm. Well, metaphorically warm, because Chicago is freakishly cold.

I've always had ideas about what sort of life I've wanted me and my friends to have a chance at. And, I'm finally starting to feel again like it's possible that I can make it happen for real. I've missed feeling that for far too long. It's hope, and it's what makes us alive."

A.N.: So that's my conclusion. Apologies for the delay.