Fic
Disclaimer- Unfortunately I don't own anything. The creators own Gilmore Girls and Our Lady Peace owns the song "4 Am"
Summary- It's a Songfic about Rory and Jess. It takes place after the phone call in the season finale. A different take on Jess's life and why he is like he is. Lyrics are inside **
~Jess at phone booth in California~
** Walked around my good intentions and found that there were none.**
I've lived most of my life never feeling, never caring. I hardened my heart to the world because I knew, living in the slums of New York you either lived or you died. If any shred of emotion escaped out of your heart the vultures of New York would have a feast and tear you apart piece by piece. Starting with hope, love and happiness until you were void. I had no intention of dying.
**Blamed my father for the wasted years, we hardly talked.**
My father left me. Left me to suffer and bear the weight of life all alone. His consequences and insecurities inflicted on me because he was too small to carry them himself. When I heard the thud of the door slamming shut as my father walked out on me for the last time, it was like the door of my heart shut as well. I promised myself then, that I would never allow myself to let someone effect me like he had. I have kept up that promise, that is, until this past year. Ironic isn't it that I spent most of my life hating him, wanting nothing to do with him and now, here I am in Sunny Cali, miles away from home finding out who my father really is. Father it's a foreign word to me but still, here I am searching, giving him a second chance. Something I said I would never do. I guess a lot has changed.
** Never thought I would forget this pain, then a phone call made me realize I was wrong.**
I've lived too many years without emotion, pain consuming my every thought and action. Until I met Rory Gilmore, she changed my world indefinitely. She was my escape from the pain and terror. I loved her for that, amongst many other things. Love, a foreign emotion, I had never felt and to feel it scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what to do.
I don't think I'll ever forget what she said to me.
" I think I could have loved you"
She loved me. As I stood there, millions of miles away from her I could feel our hearts beating together while the walls surrounding mine crumbled down. I was loved and in love.
**And if I don't make it know that I've loved you all along**
As I travel from here to God knows where, I hope Rory Gilmore knows I've loved her and always will. More than she will ever know. But love isn't always enough. First, I have to figure things out with me, here, to be truly happy. So I sit here thinking about Rory Gilmore and I realize she did do one thing, she saved me from myself. That has changed me forever.
Now that you have finished the story click on the wonderful review button and tell me what you thought. The constructive criticism and reviews are greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer- Unfortunately I don't own anything. The creators own Gilmore Girls and Our Lady Peace owns the song "4 Am"
Summary- It's a Songfic about Rory and Jess. It takes place after the phone call in the season finale. A different take on Jess's life and why he is like he is. Lyrics are inside **
~Jess at phone booth in California~
** Walked around my good intentions and found that there were none.**
I've lived most of my life never feeling, never caring. I hardened my heart to the world because I knew, living in the slums of New York you either lived or you died. If any shred of emotion escaped out of your heart the vultures of New York would have a feast and tear you apart piece by piece. Starting with hope, love and happiness until you were void. I had no intention of dying.
**Blamed my father for the wasted years, we hardly talked.**
My father left me. Left me to suffer and bear the weight of life all alone. His consequences and insecurities inflicted on me because he was too small to carry them himself. When I heard the thud of the door slamming shut as my father walked out on me for the last time, it was like the door of my heart shut as well. I promised myself then, that I would never allow myself to let someone effect me like he had. I have kept up that promise, that is, until this past year. Ironic isn't it that I spent most of my life hating him, wanting nothing to do with him and now, here I am in Sunny Cali, miles away from home finding out who my father really is. Father it's a foreign word to me but still, here I am searching, giving him a second chance. Something I said I would never do. I guess a lot has changed.
** Never thought I would forget this pain, then a phone call made me realize I was wrong.**
I've lived too many years without emotion, pain consuming my every thought and action. Until I met Rory Gilmore, she changed my world indefinitely. She was my escape from the pain and terror. I loved her for that, amongst many other things. Love, a foreign emotion, I had never felt and to feel it scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what to do.
I don't think I'll ever forget what she said to me.
" I think I could have loved you"
She loved me. As I stood there, millions of miles away from her I could feel our hearts beating together while the walls surrounding mine crumbled down. I was loved and in love.
**And if I don't make it know that I've loved you all along**
As I travel from here to God knows where, I hope Rory Gilmore knows I've loved her and always will. More than she will ever know. But love isn't always enough. First, I have to figure things out with me, here, to be truly happy. So I sit here thinking about Rory Gilmore and I realize she did do one thing, she saved me from myself. That has changed me forever.
Now that you have finished the story click on the wonderful review button and tell me what you thought. The constructive criticism and reviews are greatly appreciated.