(*(*(*( hello again. I bet you're all wondering when I get to the really
raunchy parts, but that will come in time. Good things come to those who
wait................... and besides, my story has to have at least a little
plot. As tempting as it is, I can't just make the whole thing based around
sex. Come to your senses people! Bad good voice, bad...)*)*)*)
^^^almost forgot! Look how I've been spelling Radditz's name this whole time!! The correct saiyan spelling would technically be Raddix, being how they pronounce their x's, silly people. But since this is confusing (especially to my Kazzu-kun...*grabs koi and kisses him passionately for little or no reason, then resumes her author's note*) I shall continue to misspell it, for I don't know one person who knows how our acclaimed Akira spells it. Whatever.^^^
and Vegeta is too traumatized, mortified, and... hehe... BONE-efied to comment.
V: I am not either bone-efied, as you say, baka. I have no reason to be. My deepest secrets are being revealed to the public. *shudders* I mean how would you like it if I told them about that one time you and Chris- *gets tackled and gagged with a dirty rag*
A: I SAID he wouldn't comment and I MEANT it. Sorry.
V: murferner. *mumbled through said dirty rag.*
And if you think I own DBZ, you have your head firmly positioned up your ass. Thankyou.
-Chapter 11-
Tribulation
My body underwent several new and exaggerated changes throughout the following year. I'd rather not go into any kind of detail as to what exactly happened to me during that period, I'll only say that those changes were for the most part responsible for the man you see before you today. It was a difficult time, especially when certain parts of my anatomy did inappropriate things at very inappropriate times. For example, while training, on missions, most of the time in Shiromi's full view... It's beyond me how she never noticed, or chose to.
I had several questions about my transition that I thought would remain mysteries. Would I simply just have to cope with all these strange, new bodily functions? Would I grow out of it? I prayed copiously that I would. (Ha, looks like my prayers were answered.) But, I remembered Radditz saying something about his own problems (but failed to pay much attention) and decided that to get any answers, I would have to go to the one and only most imbecilic saiyan in existence. (AN- before he met Kakarot of course ;P)
I buzzed at his door, fidgeting uncomfortably. I didn't feel like getting taunted for the rest of my life by this certain sheoken- who, by the way, couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut- but I was desperate. And, as we find, in desperation people often do drastic things. So here I was, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot in front of Radditz Iedri's door.
He consented my entry from within, a groggy tone to his voice. Lazy bastard. He always slept his life away between training sessions, missions, and eating. I hesitantly pressed the button and let myself in.
"Doko cho rei?1" he asked croakily, sitting up and dragging his fingers through his matted hair.
I sighed, looking at my feet for a moment, searching blindly for words with which to voice my troubles.
"I... I... had some questions." Curt, to-the-point, unassuming. Just as I wanted our whole conversation to be.
"Ah. I see."
No, damnit, I haven't even started! How could he just presume what my questions would be about when he didn't even have the intellectual capacity to brush out his own hair??? I fumed for a minute longer, then continued. I would let this one slide.
"about those... changes you spoke of..."
"I thought so."
Oh, shit. This is going to be bad.
"Trust me, I don't blame you," he interrupted me as I was about to go on, stretching and lying back against his pillow, closing his eyes nonchalantly. "I wish I'd had someone to talk to when I was your age." Which, by the way, wasn't that long ago because the shei`o was only two years my senior.
"Doko nandui kadau doh?2" he spoke out of turn yet again, turning his head to look at me.
"Kadau?3" I said, tilting my head to one side in perplexity. (AN- awh! How adorable!!)
He began to laugh, but stopped himself for fear I might just pound him and leave.
"Kadau, tai, eh... how do I explain? Eh... resso nate` deo... hurake`. Chotai?4"
I detained the urge to shudder at this, remembering Keeras bloody beginning, and nodded.
"Ah, good, good. Nowthen... eh, sanjue` kojuma akide` ne` jubio... eh...5" he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and scratched his head for a moment. "shu, doko nue maiko leme` aidets ko juro... tandui. Tai6?
To this I blushed and stood in silence for a minute, then nodded slowly.
"Tai, tai. It's normal. Anyway, as I was saying, kojuma du jubio ne`, doruko...*ahem* doruko jo kadau. Chotaina?7"
"Dei."
"Eh... you're wondering how it's done, then." (AN- NOH DAAAAH!!) "Alright,..."
The next sentence out of his mouth I will not repeat, for after seeing the motions he made with his hands, I decided thenceforth never to ask him another question as long as I breathed.
"You mean..."
"yeah."
"the man actually-"
"Uh-huh."
"so this means that I..."
"Right."
"But... but that just sounds weird."
"I know, doesn't it? Feels great though." He remarked with a smirk.
"You- no you haven't!"
"Sure did."
"With whom??? Oh, goddess, nevermind, I don't even want to know."
"Kyara."
Holy shit, he did not just say Keera.
"... I'm sorry, who?"
"Kyara, that lavender-skinned beauty with the yellow eyes."
"Oh. Her. She's a slut."
"Yes, but before today, you didn't even know what that implied."
(AN- ahh, he has a point.)
I looked again to my feet. "Eh.. thanks for... clearing things up for me. I... well, thanks."
He smiled at me with that stupid closed-eyed, goofy grin he often made, (AN- like that telltale Goku smile ^_^) then reached over to clap a brotherly hand on my shoulder. "No problem, kid."
}~*~{
Now remained the question of whether I was up to it or not. I didn't exactly know how old one had to be in order to carry out this procedure. (AN- though saiyans mature quickly so he was technically "of age" {noh dah, if the kid can get a stiffy he's old enough}) I also didn't know how to go about doing this with Shiromi. It was just... uncomfortable to think about. But I had it in my mind that it had to be done soon, what with the need for propagation and all. My species' future suddenly seemed to weigh even more heavily on my shoulders. (AN- poor kid) And I just couldn't imagine... doing THAT to Shiromi. Thinking about her... lying in bed..... naked.... waiting for me...... and then I'd make an ass of myself because I still hadn't a clue what I was doing. But how would SHE know if I was doing something wrong? What if she had already had experience in this particular area, like the sheoken? No, I thought. Then that night not so long go, she would have done more.... oh, there it went again. It just wouldn't behave. I was turning to retreat to the privacy of my room when suddenly a small black-haired, green-eyed obstacle came skipping my way.
"hellooooooooo dubio."
"Out of the way, runt." I stepped past her quickly, making for my door. Just a few more feet...
"whyyyyyyy?"
"None of your damn business."
"You're mean, dubio. I shall follow you now."
"Why?"
"Nun uv yur dam busyness." She mocked, folding her arms and frowning exaggeratedly.
It was all I could do to refrain from battering the child on the spot, but I ignored her, slipping behind my door before she could sneak in after me. I sighed with relief, leaning back against the cool metal. Let's just get this over with. I made my way to my bathing facility.
}~*~{
Just as I had peeled the tight fabric from my body, I heard a rustle from somewhere in my room. I stepped into the darkness of it, the green light flickering ominously. Nothing. Still, I felt a little ill at ease.
"Karasahi?"
Suddenly, a small form launched itself from the shadows and onto my bed, screaming a shrill "SURPRISE!!!!" and bouncing happily.
I was so shocked I'd forgotten I was naked.
And noticing this, she stopped abruptly, and stared.
"weeeeeird. Dubio, whats wrong with it? Is it mad?"
Still shocked, I just stood there, eyes wider than I thought they were capable of widening. What the hell...?
I gasped, turning around, grabbing a nearby towel and wrapping it around my waist. Little good that did, it was still sticking out, tenting the terrycloth. (AN- lmfao, "tenting the terrycloth")
"Get the hell out."
"Nah, ill stay."
I spun around, giving her one of my most murderous glares.
"out. NOW."
"Can I touch it?"
"NO!!!" oh, Lord save that child, she was going to get the pummeling of her short life.
"Why not?" she got all pouty and gave me the green puppy-eyes. GOOD GOD ANYTHING BUT THAT!!
"You don't even know what you're asking; get out before I throttle you."
She sniffled, shedding a tear. Oh, no, not the tears. "I just wanted to touch it. That's all. You don't have to be so *sup sup* mean..."
I weakened. I just couldn't stand to hear her sob.
"One touch, then you go and never come in my room again."
"yay!" she clapped her hands with glee.
I couldn't help giving in to her cuteness. The smallest things made her so happy.
Unwillingly, I opened the towel to reveal the rigid appendage, giving her a flat expression of aggravated tolerance. She gazed at it with wide, curious eyes, reaching out timidly and grazing her small fingers against the soft tip. Her touch caused a light tingling, and I drew a breath through my teeth.
"alright, now out."
"I'm not done."
"I don't care. Out. And don't even think about crying."
"why? Did it hurt?"
"No..."
"What's wrong then?"
I wasn't about to explain all that had just been explained to me, and I wasn't about to let her continue...... or was I? I felt more comfortable around Keera than Shiromi... and it's not like we were doing anything wrong... I mean, she was only my sister.
"Fine, I don't care. Just-... gently."
(AN- don't flame me for this. Saiyans are different from humans. There was a lot of same-family pairings on Vegetasei, especially in the royal family. It kept the royal bloodline intact. I'm not saying I approve of it either!! It's just a saiyan thing, damn the monkeys. AND MATT, YOU BETTER NOT BE GETTING ANY IDEAS!!! Not that you would. OH GROSS!! BAD mental image, BAD!!)
(%(%(apologizing afterthefact, Naiomi Maxwell first came up with the whole "Raditsu explaining the birds and the bees" concept in her story "Chibi Vegeta's first day in Kindergarten." I tried not to copy her, but Vegeta's not about to go to Nappa, and who else is going to tell the poor chibi? Oh, hehe, well, not so chibi anymore ^_~winkwink)%)%)
^^^almost forgot! Look how I've been spelling Radditz's name this whole time!! The correct saiyan spelling would technically be Raddix, being how they pronounce their x's, silly people. But since this is confusing (especially to my Kazzu-kun...*grabs koi and kisses him passionately for little or no reason, then resumes her author's note*) I shall continue to misspell it, for I don't know one person who knows how our acclaimed Akira spells it. Whatever.^^^
and Vegeta is too traumatized, mortified, and... hehe... BONE-efied to comment.
V: I am not either bone-efied, as you say, baka. I have no reason to be. My deepest secrets are being revealed to the public. *shudders* I mean how would you like it if I told them about that one time you and Chris- *gets tackled and gagged with a dirty rag*
A: I SAID he wouldn't comment and I MEANT it. Sorry.
V: murferner. *mumbled through said dirty rag.*
And if you think I own DBZ, you have your head firmly positioned up your ass. Thankyou.
-Chapter 11-
Tribulation
My body underwent several new and exaggerated changes throughout the following year. I'd rather not go into any kind of detail as to what exactly happened to me during that period, I'll only say that those changes were for the most part responsible for the man you see before you today. It was a difficult time, especially when certain parts of my anatomy did inappropriate things at very inappropriate times. For example, while training, on missions, most of the time in Shiromi's full view... It's beyond me how she never noticed, or chose to.
I had several questions about my transition that I thought would remain mysteries. Would I simply just have to cope with all these strange, new bodily functions? Would I grow out of it? I prayed copiously that I would. (Ha, looks like my prayers were answered.) But, I remembered Radditz saying something about his own problems (but failed to pay much attention) and decided that to get any answers, I would have to go to the one and only most imbecilic saiyan in existence. (AN- before he met Kakarot of course ;P)
I buzzed at his door, fidgeting uncomfortably. I didn't feel like getting taunted for the rest of my life by this certain sheoken- who, by the way, couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut- but I was desperate. And, as we find, in desperation people often do drastic things. So here I was, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot in front of Radditz Iedri's door.
He consented my entry from within, a groggy tone to his voice. Lazy bastard. He always slept his life away between training sessions, missions, and eating. I hesitantly pressed the button and let myself in.
"Doko cho rei?1" he asked croakily, sitting up and dragging his fingers through his matted hair.
I sighed, looking at my feet for a moment, searching blindly for words with which to voice my troubles.
"I... I... had some questions." Curt, to-the-point, unassuming. Just as I wanted our whole conversation to be.
"Ah. I see."
No, damnit, I haven't even started! How could he just presume what my questions would be about when he didn't even have the intellectual capacity to brush out his own hair??? I fumed for a minute longer, then continued. I would let this one slide.
"about those... changes you spoke of..."
"I thought so."
Oh, shit. This is going to be bad.
"Trust me, I don't blame you," he interrupted me as I was about to go on, stretching and lying back against his pillow, closing his eyes nonchalantly. "I wish I'd had someone to talk to when I was your age." Which, by the way, wasn't that long ago because the shei`o was only two years my senior.
"Doko nandui kadau doh?2" he spoke out of turn yet again, turning his head to look at me.
"Kadau?3" I said, tilting my head to one side in perplexity. (AN- awh! How adorable!!)
He began to laugh, but stopped himself for fear I might just pound him and leave.
"Kadau, tai, eh... how do I explain? Eh... resso nate` deo... hurake`. Chotai?4"
I detained the urge to shudder at this, remembering Keeras bloody beginning, and nodded.
"Ah, good, good. Nowthen... eh, sanjue` kojuma akide` ne` jubio... eh...5" he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and scratched his head for a moment. "shu, doko nue maiko leme` aidets ko juro... tandui. Tai6?
To this I blushed and stood in silence for a minute, then nodded slowly.
"Tai, tai. It's normal. Anyway, as I was saying, kojuma du jubio ne`, doruko...*ahem* doruko jo kadau. Chotaina?7"
"Dei."
"Eh... you're wondering how it's done, then." (AN- NOH DAAAAH!!) "Alright,..."
The next sentence out of his mouth I will not repeat, for after seeing the motions he made with his hands, I decided thenceforth never to ask him another question as long as I breathed.
"You mean..."
"yeah."
"the man actually-"
"Uh-huh."
"so this means that I..."
"Right."
"But... but that just sounds weird."
"I know, doesn't it? Feels great though." He remarked with a smirk.
"You- no you haven't!"
"Sure did."
"With whom??? Oh, goddess, nevermind, I don't even want to know."
"Kyara."
Holy shit, he did not just say Keera.
"... I'm sorry, who?"
"Kyara, that lavender-skinned beauty with the yellow eyes."
"Oh. Her. She's a slut."
"Yes, but before today, you didn't even know what that implied."
(AN- ahh, he has a point.)
I looked again to my feet. "Eh.. thanks for... clearing things up for me. I... well, thanks."
He smiled at me with that stupid closed-eyed, goofy grin he often made, (AN- like that telltale Goku smile ^_^) then reached over to clap a brotherly hand on my shoulder. "No problem, kid."
}~*~{
Now remained the question of whether I was up to it or not. I didn't exactly know how old one had to be in order to carry out this procedure. (AN- though saiyans mature quickly so he was technically "of age" {noh dah, if the kid can get a stiffy he's old enough}) I also didn't know how to go about doing this with Shiromi. It was just... uncomfortable to think about. But I had it in my mind that it had to be done soon, what with the need for propagation and all. My species' future suddenly seemed to weigh even more heavily on my shoulders. (AN- poor kid) And I just couldn't imagine... doing THAT to Shiromi. Thinking about her... lying in bed..... naked.... waiting for me...... and then I'd make an ass of myself because I still hadn't a clue what I was doing. But how would SHE know if I was doing something wrong? What if she had already had experience in this particular area, like the sheoken? No, I thought. Then that night not so long go, she would have done more.... oh, there it went again. It just wouldn't behave. I was turning to retreat to the privacy of my room when suddenly a small black-haired, green-eyed obstacle came skipping my way.
"hellooooooooo dubio."
"Out of the way, runt." I stepped past her quickly, making for my door. Just a few more feet...
"whyyyyyyy?"
"None of your damn business."
"You're mean, dubio. I shall follow you now."
"Why?"
"Nun uv yur dam busyness." She mocked, folding her arms and frowning exaggeratedly.
It was all I could do to refrain from battering the child on the spot, but I ignored her, slipping behind my door before she could sneak in after me. I sighed with relief, leaning back against the cool metal. Let's just get this over with. I made my way to my bathing facility.
}~*~{
Just as I had peeled the tight fabric from my body, I heard a rustle from somewhere in my room. I stepped into the darkness of it, the green light flickering ominously. Nothing. Still, I felt a little ill at ease.
"Karasahi?"
Suddenly, a small form launched itself from the shadows and onto my bed, screaming a shrill "SURPRISE!!!!" and bouncing happily.
I was so shocked I'd forgotten I was naked.
And noticing this, she stopped abruptly, and stared.
"weeeeeird. Dubio, whats wrong with it? Is it mad?"
Still shocked, I just stood there, eyes wider than I thought they were capable of widening. What the hell...?
I gasped, turning around, grabbing a nearby towel and wrapping it around my waist. Little good that did, it was still sticking out, tenting the terrycloth. (AN- lmfao, "tenting the terrycloth")
"Get the hell out."
"Nah, ill stay."
I spun around, giving her one of my most murderous glares.
"out. NOW."
"Can I touch it?"
"NO!!!" oh, Lord save that child, she was going to get the pummeling of her short life.
"Why not?" she got all pouty and gave me the green puppy-eyes. GOOD GOD ANYTHING BUT THAT!!
"You don't even know what you're asking; get out before I throttle you."
She sniffled, shedding a tear. Oh, no, not the tears. "I just wanted to touch it. That's all. You don't have to be so *sup sup* mean..."
I weakened. I just couldn't stand to hear her sob.
"One touch, then you go and never come in my room again."
"yay!" she clapped her hands with glee.
I couldn't help giving in to her cuteness. The smallest things made her so happy.
Unwillingly, I opened the towel to reveal the rigid appendage, giving her a flat expression of aggravated tolerance. She gazed at it with wide, curious eyes, reaching out timidly and grazing her small fingers against the soft tip. Her touch caused a light tingling, and I drew a breath through my teeth.
"alright, now out."
"I'm not done."
"I don't care. Out. And don't even think about crying."
"why? Did it hurt?"
"No..."
"What's wrong then?"
I wasn't about to explain all that had just been explained to me, and I wasn't about to let her continue...... or was I? I felt more comfortable around Keera than Shiromi... and it's not like we were doing anything wrong... I mean, she was only my sister.
"Fine, I don't care. Just-... gently."
(AN- don't flame me for this. Saiyans are different from humans. There was a lot of same-family pairings on Vegetasei, especially in the royal family. It kept the royal bloodline intact. I'm not saying I approve of it either!! It's just a saiyan thing, damn the monkeys. AND MATT, YOU BETTER NOT BE GETTING ANY IDEAS!!! Not that you would. OH GROSS!! BAD mental image, BAD!!)
(%(%(apologizing afterthefact, Naiomi Maxwell first came up with the whole "Raditsu explaining the birds and the bees" concept in her story "Chibi Vegeta's first day in Kindergarten." I tried not to copy her, but Vegeta's not about to go to Nappa, and who else is going to tell the poor chibi? Oh, hehe, well, not so chibi anymore ^_~winkwink)%)%)