Well, it seems that for the Seto/Jou pairing, the Goo Goo Dolls are my band of choice, because this one is yet ANOTHER song by them. This one also ranks high on my favorite songs list.
Anyway, the timeline for this one-shot is after the flashback in 'Iris' and before 'Iris' and 'Black Balloon' itself. So it's the prequel their and the sequel to the flashback IN 'Iris'. And since someone asked. The first song is titled Iris and it too is by the Goo Goo Dolls and is on their Album "Dizzy Up the Girl" as is Black Balloon.
I don't own the Goo Goo Dolls or any of their songs. The song "Broadway" is copyrighted to them, and is on their album "Dizzy Up the Girl".
Warnings: Cussing from Jou. (Who else would it be?) Lime.
Thanks to all the people reviewing, and I'll really try to keep these coming out at a nice clip, but I haven't even started the 4th segment, so be on the look out for it at weird times.
Broadway
I'm sitting on this park bench and I can't help but think of everything that has happened the past few weeks. You kissed me. My mind still shivers every time I think about it. Because it hadn't been a harsh kiss, like I had expected it to be. Your lips hadn't been forceful. I knew full well that I could have pushed you off if I had wanted. If I had wanted.
Your mouth had been so soft, meeting mine and slowly working it open. And I felt like I was safe. I didn't feel worried or pressured. Just surprised, I think. I also think the term 'Holy Shit' made it's way into my brain, but I can't really remember.
I'm still not sure why I didn't pull away. I mean, this is you we're talking about, kissing me of all people! I was completely shocked…Still am.
And as corny and sentimental as this may sound, it was also my first kiss.
So I'm going to end up thinking and dwelling on it for a little while. I mean, not only was it the first time I had EVER been kissed, it was also with a guy, and that guy had been you. So yeah, I'm a little confused, you might say.
My mind also falls to my father. The bruise on my face is fresh and it stills burns at times when I rest my head on my hands. He had been pretty drunk last night. It had scared me a couple of times that maybe this time he wouldn't know, and he would just beat me to death. Not that I would have minded all that much…
What am I saying?!
Of course, I would have minded. This is my life we're talking about. MY life! Not my father's, not yours, not anyone's but my own. And it pisses me off to no end that people think that I just sit around and have no plans for it. I have hopes for the future, too! I'm just like everyone else. I want to live long enough to be someone!
I try to slow down my breathing, which had quickened in the light of my mental rant. It just wasn't fair. My father has the power and it upsets me.
Who the hell does he think he is? I laugh quietly to myself at that thought. He knows exactly who he is. It's me who needs a personality defining moment. My father knows he's a prick. He just deals with it.
I'm the one who's floundering out here. I don't know what I am. I'm pretty easy to define though. I'm the loudmouth, the hothead, and the one who's going to be the first to get his ass shot in a war.
That would be me.
But where do I fit in? That isn't as easily answered. Even you fit into the whole 'plot'. You're the mysterious aggressor. The one who will never admit to being on our side, but you help us out just the same. You put on this front to confuse everyone. So that no one knows what you will do next.
Pisses me off to no conceivable end.
I growl and pull my legs up onto the bench beside me. And I'm thinking about you. Again. I sigh heavily. This is all your fault. I wouldn't be out here on this pansy-ass excuse for a 'I need to define myself' monologue if you had never kissed me.
I'm a normal person. I have a school I go to, a whole lot of homework every night, and friends. Well, okay. I have a lot of friends. I seem to get along with just about everyone. Although, I can't really name anyone who I wouldn't extend the hand of friendship to. I like people. After everything life has thrown me, I still like people. I shake my head at the hypocritical thought.
And then there's you. The silent one. The complete mystery. I'm still confused over what had happened that night. When you stopped kissing me, I had just stared up at you, and you, in return, stared back down at me with this look on your face. Like you couldn't believe you had just done that.
Not that I regret it. I mean, how many people do you kiss, right? Not that I can brag about it…One, who would I tell and two, who would believe me?
And then you had stood up and offered me a hand. I think my mouth may have still been open. I'm not sure, and aside from looking like a fish I was scared. I had always thought that if you and I had ever ended up touching for whatever reason it would have ended with punches being thrown and perhaps even an emergency room visit.
I pull my knees up under my chin, resting my cheek on my knees. Wincing I pull away. Damn bruise…I look like some punk beat the crap out of me.
Not that 'punk' isn't a word that could describe my father, because it really could.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Broadway is dark tonight
A little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway is dark tonight
See the young man sitting
In the old man's bar
Waiting for his turn to die
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My body tenses as I feel a hand on my shoulder. What the hell? Having learned that the sooner you react to a touch the sooner it will act on you again; I take a breath and let it out slowly. I force my body to relax. Turning my head to my left I see…
Fiery blue eyes.
Well, it's official. The Fates are plotting against me. So what now? Another puppy joke? Perhaps a joke about the puppy being gay? What am I saying? You kissed me! I could get on you about this whole thing.
It's getting late. I can see the sun is about to set, and the sky is splashed in gold and crimson. The colors are making your jacket seem off color, and your hair seems more reddish than it normally would.
And it must be making me high, because I would never care what color your hair is.
Aside from your hand being on my shoulder we have no other contact between us. I stop looking at you and turn my focus to stare at your hand. You move it from my shoulder, and walk around the bench to sit next to me. But what are you doing out here?
You sit back and stare out at the sunset. I'm just staring at you, and I'm pretty sure my eyes are the size of dinner plates. Without looking at me you talk.
"What?"
Yep, no warning. No 'What's going on?'. No, 'Hi Jou, sorry I came on to you and am forcing you to question your very existence.' Nothing.
"I'm debating on whether or not to kick your ass." Ha. Finally. I needed a comeback like that. It seems like every time I'm around you, I'm so mad I can't think straight. Instead of responding, you just continue to look at the sunset with this tight smile on your face. How aggravating is that?
After a few moments you actually start to laugh. I really really hate you at times.
"What is your problem?!" I say standing up and pointing an accusing finger at you, because I am quite certain you've lost you're mind. Besides. This is you. You don't laugh.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The cowboy kills the rock star
And Friday night's gone too far
The dim light hides the years
On all the faded girls
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You stop laughing suddenly. And I don't mean it died away, it just stopped. One second you're laughing and the next your mouth is completely shut and no sound is coming out of you whatsoever. You suddenly redirect your gaze at me, and I hope my mouth stayed closed.
You have these eyes that seem to say that you've been through so much more than I have. Like they have seen more than I ever will. You stand and walk towards me. I back away, letting my hand drop to my side. What now? You beat me into a bloody mess?
Your hand comes up as though to touch my face and I flinch away from it. Habit, I swear. I look back at you after a moment and your hand has stopped in mid-air, like you're frozen. You're staring at me…no…not at me. At the bruise.
I turn my face away and start to walk away. I can't handle both of my problems at the same time. It didn't take a scientific equation to know that if you hadn't given me the bruise then it must have been him. Great, my two biggest problems converge. My sexuality and my abusive home life. Peachy, just peachy.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and I'm spun around, suddenly staring into azure eyes. Dear God, the last time we were this close you kissed me. I don't think I can handle that. Not now. Not right now.
"H-hey! Kaiba!" I say, as I stumble backward in an attempt to put distance between us. You hand tightens on my upper arm and the other comes up to grab my once-free arm. Great, now my arms are pinned to my sides and you have this unreadable expression on your face. I have no idea what you're thinking. And that scares me.
You lean forward tilting your head as you do so. I think the words 'Oh God' may have passed through my mind, but I'm not sure. Suddenly your lips are pressed to mine. You make a tiny growling noise as you force my mouth open. I stop fighting you. This feels so…so…so…
Right.
I make a small moan as you explore my mouth, and then you let me have a turn. You taste sweet. Not exactly something I would associate with you. I'm still a little tense in your arms, but I begin to relent as my mind fogs over. This is what I wanted. To be with you again.
Your grip loosens on my arms as I relax into you. Your arms slide down my arms and finally find themselves around my waist, cradling me to you. We must look extremely gay. Both our eyes have slid shut, and we're just standing here. Kissing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Forgotten but not gone
You drink it off your mind
You talk about the world
Like it's someplace that you've been
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
'Kissing?!'
I move my hands up quickly and press them flat against your chest. One harsh shove from me and we separate from each other. Both of us panting and a little dazed. I can't take this crap anymore! Who the hell do you think you are?! What right do you have to act like I belong to you!?
Throwing my arm back and then bringing it forward at an alarming rate, even for me, and I slam my fist into your face. I wince at the solid connection.
And yet, even that is not enough to throw you off your feet. Well, hell. Now, I have to die. Too bad. I had enjoyed the kiss. I wonder if I can outrun you…
As if in response my body turns and I take a step to run. And then I stop; it's as though my body and all it's nerves suddenly disconnected from each other and no signal can get through. I'm standing there. Frozen. What the Hell am I doing?! I have to get away from you! And yet my body refuses, and anger boils inside me. I am not running away from this problem, I can run from him but I will NOT run from you.
I turn to face you and your gaze is cold. Good. I want you mad. The madder you are the less you think about…whatever the hell it is you think about. I take a step towards you and stop, shoving my hands into my coat pocket. My eyes narrow at you.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" My voice is cold. I wanted it to be. I'm the kind of person who yells, but not this time. This time I want you to listen to me, and if I yell I have this feeling you won't listen at all. "What right do you have to pull shit like this, Kaiba?" Your eyes narrow at me as well. I…don't want you to leave. But right now I need you to.
You turn away from me and start back down the path. I feel a pain in my chest, and I think that I may be losing the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because in some way I need you. I need someone who has dealt with their owns problems to be near me. I admire your strength, and wonder if at times I could have ever been willing to sacrifice this 'normal' life of friends and school to have dealt with my own problems.
It's at times like these that I wish I could just go home and talk with someone about this. But I can't. Everyone has their own problems, and if I were to sit here and bawl mine out like they're more important I don't think I could live with myself.
You're going to kill me after this.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You see you'd love to run home
But you know you ain't got one
'Cause you're living in a world
That you're best forgotten around here
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I take off down the path after you. I don't know how long I stood their staring at your retreating figure, but it seems it was quite a while, as I have to run a fair distance to even see you.
I know you must have heard me coming, but you chose to ignore me anyway. I feel the regret pooling in my stomach for pushing you away. I don't know if it hurt you, but I do know that if it did I would never find out. Ever.
I reach out my hand to grab your shoulder. To stop you like you did to me earlier. I need to say this, I need to tell someone.
I yelp loudly as pain shoots up my arm when it's twisted harshly behind my back and I'm suddenly on my knees. I'm sure there is no surprise on your face that it's me. Hell, I'm sure there would be no surprise on your face even if it had been the Easter Bunny. You just don't get surprised.
You let go of my wrist and toss it away from you as though you've touched something slimy. As physical relief rushes through me about the release of my arm a new and deeper emotional pain sets in. This is my fault. Reactions and actions to you are instant. I can never go back on what I did back there. I know this. You don't believe in the live in the moment crap. People say what they feel and you know that.
I crumple to the dirt path and hold myself up with the other arm while holding the other close to my chest. I stare at the ground, watching as an ant carries a fallen comrade across the way. I watch it with unrealized interest, anything to not think about what has happened between us.
"What?" Your voice isn't just cold, it's empty. It's like someone took your soul and has simply stuck you on autopilot. And it's all my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you away, perhaps? What?! No! I had every right to push you away. You can't just saunter up to me and act like you can make it all better!
"You…you…had no right to do that…" We both know I'm talking about the kiss and not the wrist. We both know it.
Your body shifts and you're off to my side now, rather than behind me. Something has snapped, I'm so angry that I can't even see straight anymore, and I don't think I really want to anyway. Anger simplifies emotions. I can work with that.
"You…he…both of you…had no right…" I continue. My voice is hushed, whispered even and I'm still staring at that damn ant. I contemplate crushing it, and realize that that simply wouldn't be fair.
"I know." Calm. Simple. Short. That's your answer system in a nutshell. Never give ground, just plunder the opposition's. I can't believe you aren't sorry.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Broadway is dark tonight
A little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway is dark tonight
See the young man sitting
In the old man's bar
Waiting for his turn to die
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You know?" This I can barely hear myself now. I shove off of the ground and stand glaring at you with all of the venom and hatred I can conjure into this body. You know? Ha. "You know…You know?"
My voice is getting angrier by the second and I think you can feel it, too. I take a step towards you and your body tightens up, but I know it's not out of fear; only preparation.
"Listen to me, Seto Kaiba. I don't know who the hell you think you are, but listen to this. You keep your fucking hands off me. Got it? You don't own me. I'm not your 'puppy' or whatever other name you can think of to humiliate me with. Understand. You see this body?" I ask, gesturing to indicate my torso and everything attached to it. "This is not yours. This is not his. You both cannot use it and abuse it how you like. It's mine."
That may have been the best speech I have ever given. Kudo points to me. I clamp my mouth shut and turn. I hadn't meant to talk about him. He's not your problem. It hits me how ironic it is that I talk about one problem to another problem. It is incredibly ironic.
I walk away from you and this time I'm not running. I've held my ground. You want to play mind games? Fine. Do it with someone who has the patience to put up with your shit. Because I really don't care that much. I don't look back, but rather make my way back to the bench I had been sitting at. It's dark and I decide not to go home tonight. I have no school tomorrow and therefore no need to go to bed. I think I'll stay here tonight and just watch the sky. It can't touch me.
Footsteps. Great. You don't even bother to act like you're sneaking up on me. It's like you think I'm so deaf that you don't even have to bother with trying. Well fuck you. I did hear you.
"Go the hell away."
"Do you own this bench?"
I open my mouth to say 'Why yes. I bought it with a large amount of money I have hanging around for just the occasion when I want to have something you don't.' But the words die on my lips and silence is my answer.
"That's what I thought."
You sit next to me, leaving enough room for another person to sit between us. I contemplate standing and leaving, only this time I would run. Not in fear or anger, but simply to put some distance between us. Can't I just be alone?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You choke down all your anger
Forget your only son
You pray to statues when you sober up for fun
You're anger don't impress me
The world slapped in your face
It always rains like hell on the losers day parade
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I sigh and lean back and stretch, willing the anger to just go away and leave me. I want to be empty right now. I think that if I was empty I could play these stupid games with you.
"He beats you."
"You're fucking brilliant."
You scowl and I'm a bit surprised at the bitterness in my voice. You stare out in front of us and I stare upwards into the vast dark sky, silently begging the heavens to send one measly bolt of lightning right at me…
"Why?"
I laugh. "Ask him"
"I asked you."
"I don't know."
"I think you do."
"I think you don't have a clue."
"Perhaps."
I'm getting really sick of this one line conversation. I don't know, okay? I don't. And I don't know why you kissed me and I don't know why I liked it and I just don't know! I grit my teeth and stand. Clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides as I fight back tears that have suddenly sprung to my eyes.
I really don't know. And it scares me.
I take a deep breath. Calmness washes over me as I develop a strategy. It's just like me to pull it together just as I'm losing. I'm like Mr. Comeback. Well, at least this time it's for something really important…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You see you'd love to run home
But you know you ain't got one
Cause you're living in a world
That you're best forgotten
And when you're thinking you're a joke
And nobody's gonna listen
To the one small point
I know they been missing round here
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You kissed me." I countered. I can almost feel the surprise that springs off your body. Hadn't expected that did you? That I would use my wild card. You see, Seto. Let's talk about you for a little while, huh? Let's figure out why you did what you did.
"Yes." You're answer doesn't come out nearly as composed as you would have liked. I turn and face you, using the momentary height advantage as an asset.
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"I think you do."
Yes! Ha! You did it. You fell for it. I have to clench one of my fists again to keep from grinning. Your face is blank. Not an angry and don't read into it blank, but an utterly shocked blanked. I'm learning, aren't I? To think on my feet? To use my head? You bet.
Suddenly that spark is back in your eyes, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from backing away from you. You stand and take the one step needed to place us less than a half a foot apart. I look up at you and into your eyes. Oh yeah, there is definitely a spark.
"Stop me." You say.
Stop you? From what? My brows knit together in confusion but open apart when you lean down, letting you eyes slide shut. You asshole! No! My body is frozen again. Damnit. I feel your lips against mine again. Soft, warm, gentle…
I don't want to stop you. I really really don't. So you know what? I don't stop you. I don't stop you when I feel your hands come to my waist pulling my body flush against yours. And I don't stop you when I feel your lips parts against mine and your tongue brush against my lower lip. And I don't stop you from deepening the kiss when I open my mouth. I don't stop you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Broadway is dark tonight
A little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway is dark tonight
See the young man sitting
In the old man's bar
Waiting for his turn to die
You see you'd love to run home
But you know you ain't got one
Cause you living in a world
That you're best forgotten
And if you're thinking you're a joke
And nobody's gonna listen
To the one small point
I know they been missing round here
Round here
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We pull apart and I look down. I'm incredibly embarrassed. Why? Why now when you know about it? Do you like the idea that I've been quote-unquote 'broken-in'? I laugh and it comes out more nervous than bitter. You tilt my head and I'm forced to look you in the eyes.
"You didn't stop me."
I can't speak, and I lower my head, shaking it helplessly.
Your other hand moves from my waist and settles at my shoulder. It's lightly holding me in place, almost urging me not to run this time. I don't think I have the strength to run from you anymore. I don't even think I want to.
"Jou…" I look up at you. Jou? Your eyes are soft. Not completely, but there is a softness there that wasn't before.
"Why?" I ask. I need to know.
You look like you're going to laugh for a moment, but all traces of a sarcastic remark are wiped away when I repeat myself, letting that desperate note finally creep in.
"Why?"
"Something."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Broadway is dark tonight
A little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway is dark tonight
See the young man sitting
In the old man's bar
Waiting for his turn to die
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Something?"
"Something."
I smile for the first time since we kissed again. Something? Well, if that's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me. I sink into you and let my head rest on your shoulder, feeling your arms come around. This embrace won't last forever, it won't even last the rest of the night, but for now you're comforting me, and you're the only one I want to.
~ Owari ~
Cliché?
Hell yeah.
Fun to write?
Hell yeah.
Regret it?
Hell no.
Okay, so it was a bit more angsty than I'm used to, but they can't just fall deeply in love with each other. So this is how it goes. This is the 'flashback' segment, and I think there shall be another one with Seto's POV, though I'm worried about trying him again.
~Artemis